Chapter 5
5
brAM
I t’s barely five o’clock, but it’s already pitch dark outside. The sub-zero temperature should be enough of a deterrent to keep me inside, but ever since Ava left the hotel my skin feels too tight. I had to work off this feeling. Which is how I ended up out for a run. The darkness–my curse–is creeping back in. It’s as if someone has slowly dimmed all the lights in my soul. I run to keep the nothingness at bay. To feel something even if it’s only the strain of pushing myself.
It hasn’t snowed in a week and the ground has been packed down into a frozen layer that crunches beneath my shoes. My chest burns from the cold, shredding my lungs with each breath, but I don’t slow down. I push until my muscles scream and my lungs are on fire.
Every day, my curse gets a little bit worse. I feel it taking over my body one cell at a time. It’s not like when you look back at pictures of yourself from fifteen years earlier and you think, how was I ever so young? That catches you by surprise. This change, the crawl of my curse slowly taking over my humanity, progresses enough that each day I lose more of myself. It’s a coldness that turns off my emotions. Some days, I wonder if it’s already set in fully. I don’t laugh, I don’t feel sadness, and yet there is a perversity to the hex that makes me want others to feel this same darkness. Their pain fuels the growing rot inside me. When Ava left the hotel, it was as if the light left me too.
Our curses are passed on from one generation to the next. In the case of my mother and father, they were both the cursed ones in their families. In a twist of fucked up history, when you have a child, the curse gets passed along to the next generation. My curse kicked in when I was sixteen. I didn’t know what it would be. My father certainly didn’t enlighten me on curses that afflicted his family in the past. My mom died when I was six, so it’s not like she had the opportunity to fill me in on her family curses. Not that it would have mattered.
Through some weird blend of magical genetics, our curses are never exactly the same as those that came before us. Although I suspect there are a lot of similarities. I often wonder if my father’s curse involved the darkness that’s slowly taking over me. Even though he no longer has his own curse, he’s still a cold man. I’ve wondered if the darkness never fully left him. We don’t talk about things like that, though. So who the hell knows.
It was hundreds of years ago when the Briar Witch cursed the firstborns. It was only recently that we found out her coven had murdered her fated love and then tried to force her to marry someone else. I admire the fact that she fought back and gave them pretty much the biggest fuck you imaginable. I don’t appreciate the fact that I’m stuck paying for something that was not my mistake, though.
I jog up the steps to my temporary home and punch in the code to open the door. Technically, this is Roman’s place. Actually, that’s not even correct. Roman and I both lived in one of the villas on the resort's property. The place is owned by the Blackthorn family. Roman and I get free use of the villas. My place burned down, and Roman has been staying with Josephine almost every night. I’ve been squatting at his place because it was a lot easier than buying new stuff for myself. Especially when he isn’t using any of his things.
He’s rarely here, so it’s a surprise to find him in the kitchen when I walk inside. I kick off my snowy shoes but leave the rest of my clothes on. The run heated me up, but not enough to combat the cold. The doll from Ava is tucked away in the corner of the kitchen counter. A glimmer of amusement makes my mouth turn up when I spot it.
Roman arches a brow at me. “Little chilly for a jog, isn’t it?”
Roman and I were often mistaken for twins when we were younger. We have the same gray eyes and dark hair. He’s six months older than me, but I don’t think either one of us took on the big brother role.
Roman is more relaxed than I’ve seen him in a long time. His features have softened and there’s a sense of happiness clinging to him. It borders on annoying.
“You’re looking disgustingly happy.” I grab a sports drink out of the fridge. The top cracks with a sharp sound. I chug half of it down before turning my attention back to Roman.
“Why does that sound like an insult?”
“Because you’re being delicate. Unless, are you coming back home? Domestic bliss not all it’s cracked up to be?” My brother is a good man. He wouldn’t claim the title if you asked him, but actions speak louder than words. I don’t want things between him and Josephine to fall apart. In fact, their bond has given me more hope than I will ever tell a living soul, but I can’t let him know that.
Roman is sitting in one of the high-back chairs pushed under the island. He lifts a bag off the chair beside him and slides it across the counter.
“Morty mentioned you haven’t been to the shop for a while.” Mortimor Woodroot owns the local apothecary. He’s nosy and outspoken. He generally hates the same people that I find intolerable, which makes him okay in my book. Except for the fact that he has been blabbing to my brother. Eyeing the brown bag with distaste, I finally pick it up with a sigh, only to shove it on the counter behind me.
“I’ve been busy.”
“So busy that you can’t take ten minutes to go get a potion that’s going to help with your curse.”
Morty concocted a potion that helps keep the worst of my curse at bay. It has its own side effects, but it’s better than the rage.
I unzip my coat and throw it on the back of another chair. Now that I’m warming up, sweat drips down my temple, my body finally catching up to how hard I just ran.
“Guess who came in to see me today?” I deflect, not wanting to discuss my curse.
Roman shakes his head. “Who?”
“Dear ol’ Dad has offered up the resort for the brand-new coven’s Lupercalia celebration. And he’s putting me in charge of planning it.” I don’t know why I hesitate to tell him the other part. The fact that Ava Vandenberg has also been given this task.
“No offense, but why would he have you planning a massive party?”
I place my hand over my heart. “I’m wounded. You don’t think I’m capable of ordering some food, throwing up some decorations, and hiring a DJ?”
“I didn’t really need you to prove my point, but no.”
I take another drink, leaving the cap off the bottle. I flip it between my fingers. “They’ve also assigned Ava to help.”
“Jo’s Ava?”
“She doesn’t belong to Josephine,” I snap, then pause to take a deep breath. My curse is really fucking with me. Those words are enough to have the darkness surging through my body like a storm cloud rolling into every corner. I take a deep breath. For fuck’s sake, it was a simple question. “But yes. She’s already a giant pain in my ass and we’ve barely started planning.”
Roman cocks his head as he looks at me. “I think it will be good for you.”
“Please. Don’t start.”
“You work, you barely socialize.” Roman glances at the bag containing the potion from Morty. “We all have darkness inside of us, but it’s how you choose to live your life despite it all that really matters. While the whole masquerade is a farce the covens are putting on, I think spending time with Ava will be good for you.”
I wince. “Don’t tell me you’re match making? Just because you’re all sappy and in love doesn’t mean everyone else in the world is looking for the same thing.”
Roman stares at me for so long that I turn and take my finished drink to the sink. I rinse out the bottle before tossing it in the recycling bin.
“You need to face your demons, brother.”
“Says the man whose curse has disappeared. It’s easy to be superior when you’re looking down from your castle. Just be confident it isn’t made of glass.” I swipe at the sweat trickling down my forehead.
“I know it may seem that way, but I was cutting myself off from everyone because of my curse. Josephine made me realize how much I was missing out on. At the end of the day, even if I still had my curse, I couldn’t walk away from her.”
Roman pontificating on his blessings from the Maiden, Mother, and Crone is not what I need right now.
“Hey, thanks for getting the potion. I’ll be sure to get it from now on.” I head toward the bedroom, ready to shower and forget the day. Roman grabs my arm as I walk past him.
“That’s not what I’m saying. I just want you to be happy. That’s all.”
Roman lets go of my arm and pushes out of his chair. “You doing anything for the rest of the night? I could stick around.” I hate the worry, the sympathy, glimmering in his gaze.
“No. I think I’ll call it an early night. You’d better get back to your girl before she figures out you’re an asshole.”
“Too late for that. But she likes me anyway.” Roman grins more to himself. He hesitates, but I finally tell him to get out so I can shower. He calls out a goodbye just before the door closes behind him, leaving me alone with the shadows creeping in.
My eyes drift to the wide-eyed doll from Ava. I don’t know what possessed me to bring it home earlier. I didn’t want to leave it in my office all night, which is nonsense. Staring at the thing, a fissure of warmth cracks inside my chest and the corner of my mouth lifts in a smile. An idea is taking form. Ava mentioned she had to go into work after she left the resort earlier. If I hurry, I might be able to get to her place before she’s home for the night.