Chapter 36
36
AVA
I step into the ballroom of the Grand Mystic Resort and gasp. I helped design the decorations, but I hadn’t seen everything complete when I left earlier. I was here to confirm the food was prepped, and the stage and equipment were set up for the band. That the drinks were ready to be poured, and the high tables scattered around the perimeter of the room had been set with the perfectly arranged flowers and candles. I managed to avoid seeing Bram through some stroke of fortune. Whether it was good or ill depends on my emotions at a given moment in time.
I left to go get ready and now, taking the first step into the ballroom feels like I’m walking into a different world. The theme of the party is a dark fairy tale. It might be Valentine’s Day, but that’s just a silly human holiday. Lupercalia is a festival of sensation, of lust and fertility, and that’s the look now taking over the hotel. Magical flowering vines crawl up the walls, dripping with fragrant blooms. The chandelier has been transformed from electric to candles for the night, making the room glow. Black silk drapes across the ceiling, hanging in billowing waves of fabric. It’s dark, lush, and sensual.
Some of the council were here earlier to inspect the ballroom. I gave them a wide berth. They placed runes around the room for prosperity and unity. I know very little about runes, so they could just as easily summon a demon. They're scattered over the floor in a pretty pattern. The symbols jive with the overall feeling of the masquerade, but I don't understand why the council had to add them. They trust them with the entire planning of the party, but not this element. I don't like it.
My mask is in my hands, not yet covering my face. Soon the rest of the coven will be here, and it’ll be time to hide. I walk the perimeter of the room, amazed by the transformation that I helped envision. The band is tuning their instruments, and they start playing a haunting melody when my eyes are drawn to the double doors leading into the ballroom. Stepping inside, in a black toga held together at one shoulder, draped to show off a whole lot of his torso, is Bram. He hasn’t gained fifty pounds in the nearly two weeks since I’ve seen him, nor has he turned into a toad. If anything, he’s even more gorgeous than I remember. The fabric flows all the way to the ground, but is swooped low on the one side, showing off his ribs and abs. His dark hair is pushed back from his face and his eyes are locked on me.
My heart leaps into my throat, and I don’t know if I want to scream or cry. Why did I ever think I had a chance at something real with this man? Here he is, practically a god, and I’m just…me. Bram pauses on threshold, looking transfixed. His black mask is dangling from his fingers. We’re too far away from each other to speak without shouting. What would we say anyway? His eyes drop and he takes in my dress.
Mouth parting, he sucks in a breath. When his gaze finally lifts to meet mine, there’s a soft smile on his face. Almost as if he’s come to terms with something. I wonder what?
I’m just as stunned as he appears to be. It’s almost as if he knew I was being Lethe tonight and he matched his costume to mine. The goddess of forgetting and the god of the underworld. He holds up a black horned mask and cocks his head. I nod and we both put on the last pieces of our costumes, covering our true selves behind the facade of a fairytale creature.
As if that’s a signal to the Triad, the doors fling open, and people begin pouring in. The outfits range from over the top, full-blown wedding type gowns to simple dresses and masks. The men are in everything from three-piece suits to a pair of boxer briefs. I chuckle as I think of my father seeing the man in his underwear. We did specify on the invites that the theme was fairytale masquerade, but people will interpret that however they like.
The sight makes me happy. An unexpected swell of pride bubbles up inside of me as the band begins to play a cover of a popular song. Chatter and laughter add to the soundtrack of the night. Bram is quickly lost in a sea of witches—not that I’m keeping tabs on him. At all. I’m kept busy for a long stretch of time, talking with the staff and making sure everything is running smoothly. I haven’t even seen my brother or friends yet, and thankfully not my parents either.
A slow song starts to play. A longing, like I’m a kid at a middle school dance, brings an ache to my chest. I want to be on the dance floor with my crush holding me tight as we sway back-and-forth to the music.
“Ava, I insist on a dance.”
I jerk around and barely suppress a groan when I find Jamie grinning behind me. He’s dressed as a Disney prince, complete with a cape and leggings. His mask is small and barely covers his face. I instantly regret the fact that my mask doesn’t cover more of my face. Maybe I could’ve gone incognito for a little bit longer.
“Oh, thanks, but I’ve got a lot to do so… Have fun tonight.” I walk away, trying to be polite, but firm. Except Jamie grabs my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor without my permission.
“Come on, Ava. We always had good rhythm together. You’ll dance with me for old time’s sake, won’t you?”
I shove down the repulsion and the acidic response. He always thought he could move much better than in reality. I long to tell him he sucks as much on the dance floor as he did in bed. We’re in the middle of a crowded dance floor though, so I bite back my words.
“I’m really busy. I don’t want to dance right now, and I have other things to do.”
Jamie has my fingers clasped tightly in his. His other hand moves to my waist, and he pulls me in close to his body. If I struggle, people will turn and watch. The coven council has taken up residence in a corner of the room where additional seating has been brought in. I didn’t tell anyone to cart in those extra chairs, which means someone on the council directed the staff to essentially make them a VIP area. Pricks. The whole point of this event is about coven unity.
Nothing like elevating yourself above others to foster inclusivity.
I sigh and let Jamie sway our bodies to a slightly offbeat tempo.
“You know, you look really good tonight, Ava.” The surprise in Jamie’s voice shouldn’t sting, but it’s like he has this ability to bring back the doubts I have about myself with one sentence.
My skin crawls when his tongue comes out to wet his bottom lip and his eyes travel down and back up my body.
“Honestly, if you would have put in this kind of effort when we were together, maybe things wouldn’t have ended the way that they did.”
I stop moving, forcing Jamie to stand still or fight me. “Excuse me. Are you saying it’s my fault you cheated?” No. I won’t let this piece of shit keep doing this. All my life, I’ve been trained to be polite. To be the bigger person. To walk away or do what I’ve been told. I’m fucking sick of the silence. I’m so damn tired of being polite.
“Be honest with yourself, Ava. You practically gave me permission.”
I tug at my hand, trying to free it, and glare at him. He's holding my fingers so tight they’re going numb.
“We’re done. With this dance, with whatever the fuck you’re trying to accomplish here.” I yank on my hand, and he scrambles to grab hold of it again, but I step back. “This is the end, Jamie. I spent years allowing you to talk down to me. To make little constructive comments about my looks, or my personality, or how I lived my life on the day to day. Guess what? If you didn’t like who I was, then you never should’ve been with me. I don’t know why I wasted so much time thinking that I should change. That I could be better to suit your needs. Here’s the thing. I don’t want to be the person you want me to be. You’re actually pretty disgusting inside and out. So your opinion doesn’t matter to me at all.”
Jamie opens his mouth to protest, but I don’t let him get a word out. “I know you think that I’m some sort of inroad to my father, but he’s never going to give you what you want. He’s a manipulator, just like you. He couldn’t give two shits about me. I'm just something else for him to control. Surprise, he doesn’t need you for that. So whatever this little game that you and him are playing together, it’s done. If you see me coming down the street, pretend I don’t exist.”
Jamie’s face is getting redder the longer I talk. But then his eyes widen. “Wait.” A slimy smile takes over his face. “Don’t you see, Ava, I remember you.”
“And I would like you to forget me.” I spin on my heel, feeling kind of badass. Jamie snatches up my hand and pulls me closer once again.
“Don’t you understand? I remember you, Ava.” He pronounces remember as though it’s heavy with gravity. “This time without your father having to show me pictures and tell me about you.”
At first, I don’t understand what he’s saying. He might be repeating himself, but that doesn’t mean I know what the hell it’s supposed to mean. Then it clicks. Like a timer counting down to zero before a bomb explodes. My heart sinks and nausea swirls in my stomach. There’s no way. I know the universe is a horrible, cruel place, but there’s no way I would be bonded to this man.
Why does he remember me, then?
I’m frozen in place. Too stunned to move until his lips graze over my cheek and he whispers in my ear. “You’re mine.”
I lift my knee and jam it into his balls as hard as I can. There’s no conscious thought. My body is physically rejecting the very idea of him.
Jamie drops to the floor, curled in the fetal position, groaning loudly. The crowd forms a circle around him, their surprised faces gaping at me and then Jamie.
“Get the fuck out of the way.” Bram pushes through the crowd, bulldozing his way toward me.
He stretches out his hand, and I take it without hesitation. He tugs me deeper into the crowd, so we can get lost in the midst of hundreds of people. The band is still playing, and he pulls me into his arms. We gently sway to the music, and this time, we’re perfectly in sync.
My whole body is shaking. Bram rubs his hand up and down my back. The candles flicker in the chandelier above and the flowers bloom and close in a slow cadence around the room. The women’s gowns swish around us, the low murmur of conversation is a constant hum.
“Are you okay? He had you trapped on the dance floor.” Bram’s voice is unsteady, and he takes a deep breath. “I was ready to rip his head off, but it looks like you were just fine without me.
I wasn’t just fine without him. I’ve been a mess since the last time I saw him almost two weeks ago. I have been trying to stay away for my own sanity, but it hurts. As if someone cracked my ribs open and has been squeezing my heart on repeat.
I blink back tears and whisper. “I’m not okay.”
Bram pulls me back by my shoulders, inspecting my face, running his hands up and down my arms. “Where are you hurt?”
I shake my head, peering up at him. I feel like I've been transported inside a fantasy novel. In front of me is the black-hearted prince of shadows who it turns out was really just broken all along. He's not evil, he's just hurt. “What are you doing? I thought we’re supposed to be strangers now.”
The crowd is dancing around us. I’m sure we’re attracting attention. I don’t care. I’m so tired of worrying about what other people think.
Bram’s brow is furrowed, his gray eyes achingly sincere. “Thank you for the photos. I don’t know how you did it, but I’m grateful.”
I shrug, even as my heart is full. Even if we never spoke again, I would still want him to have those small memories of his mother back.
The two of us have stopped moving, standing still while the other dancers swirl around us in a sea of color. Bram lets out a shaky breath, his eyes so sad my heart breaks all over again. “I was a fool. I was… I am scared. I’m afraid of who I’m turning into. Afraid of what I might do to you. But I don’t want to let that determine my life anymore. I’m sorry I was a coward and that I tried to chase you away. I still think it’s the right thing to do, but it’s been pointed out to me that it’s not just my decision. So I’m asking you what you want.”
Tears swim in my eyes. I can’t let him keep talking. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve fallen in love with the man in front of me, but fate has tied me to the fucking prick who treated me like garbage and cheated on me.
Pretty fucking par for the course.
“Jamie remembers me,” I choke out, feeling disgusted as the words leave my mouth.
Bram rips off his mask and stares down at me. “There’s no way. That piece of shit is not your fated bond.”
Bram takes my mask and gently lifts it from my face. His thumb strokes over my cheek and cradles the back of my head. My heart is beating so hard, my breaths are labored. “I remember you, Ava. I’ve never forgotten you.”
I gasp and stare at him. His aura is a bright gold. The darkness that always swirls in it slowly dissipates like fog, as if it’s being burned off by the sun.
“Every minute of every day since I said those awful words to you, I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I hate myself for what I said. I know I should walk away because I won’t be good for you. There’s a darkness in me that I loathe. It’s taking over and it loves destruction. But when I’m with you, I don’t feel that way. I was going to apologize and tell you goodbye. I don’t think I can do that, and it’s probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.”
“You remember me?”
“I know every freckle on your skin, could recite a thesis on the goodness of your heart. I know you inside and out.”
“How is this possible?” Is it because of Jamie? Is my curse broken? Or does Jamie remember me because someone else broke my curse? I’m shaking again. My knees are wobbling.
Bram sucks in a deep breath and holds up his hand. I watch in fascination as inky vines appear like a ring around his finger. Bram swallows thickly, looking just as stunned as me.