Chapter 2
Finn
“Wh-what are you doing?”
Spencer’s voice came out in a stammer when I pulled back, breaking the kiss. Surprise flooded his face as he tucked a strand of his blond hair behind his ear, a gesture he did often when he was nervous.
Wait. Shit.
He was nervous.
I wasn’t sure what to do with that, but it made my chest ache a little.
His piercing blue eyes searched mine, looking for confirmation that it wasn’t some kind of prank.
I grinned. “I thought I made it pretty clear. That was a kiss. Don’t tell me you’ve never had one of those before.”
Spencer exhaled, the familiar spark of anger that I relished so much returning to his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. I have. I guess what I’m trying to ask is, why are you kissing me? I thought you hated me.”
“Ah, of course you did,” I said, sighing. Of course he fucking would.
It could not be further from the truth. Not that I ever tried to show my feelings for him.
How could I? Why would I? He gave me no reason to. We were co-workers. Always in competition, always trying to outdo each other. Spencer had never given me anything more than that. Actually, he gave me no chance to. Every time we interacted, it was a battle. No time to say that there was something else behind our fantastic professional aggression , because Spencer always came ready to fight.
And I’m definitely not one to back down from any type of battle.
More than that, I seemed to genuinely irritate him. Spencer made it very clear when he was annoyed. That was one emotion he displayed most frequently in my presence. Project work together felt more like a torture chamber, where I had to watch a guy I found fascinating huff and puff throughout the entire project. But... I kind of liked it. The idea that I could draw such intense emotions from him was... sadistically satisfying.
Spence was such a peculiar person. Everything he did impressed me—his approach to tasks, his attention to details. Though he and I had different perspectives on issues, he was impressive nonetheless. Even the way he walked and the dimples that would form on his cheeks every time he smiled... everything.
As soon as he’d made his dislike for me obvious, I’d been forced to push my fascination with him to the back of my mind and play the role he had given me.
The enemy in the office.
Not sure why he naturally put me in that category, but that was the case.
I figured if I couldn’t have it how I wanted, I would have it in any way possible. If that was the only way I could have his attention, then so be it.
“Since this is the last time, I think we can both allow ourselves the luxury of being honest with each other,” I said.
I let go of his face but couldn’t bear to step back, not when this intoxicating rush was flooding my being. I stood close enough to feel his warm breath tickle my skin as he breathed out.
I was leaving. As in, never coming back. I had nothing to lose. No battles left to fight.
It was time for the truth.
“I never hated you, Spencer.”
His face morphed from confusion to skepticism to intrigue, the wheels in that pretty head of his spinning.
“What?”
“I never hated you,” I repeated, trying my hardest not to laugh at how easy he was to read. His face showed a myriad of emotions, and I watched them flit across his stupidly handsome face, registering each one as it passed.
Oh, Spencer... Spence. I liked how expressive he was. There was no filter to him letting you know exactly how he felt. If Spence didn’t like something, trust me, you would know. Just one look at his face was enough feedback. Something about that just made it impossible for me to leave him alone.
I admit, I liked to get a rise out of him just for the fun of it. There was something about seeing Spencer all upset and flustered that scratched a sinister itch inside me. Perhaps I went overboard at times, but that was the only way I knew to draw his attention. I wanted to be on his mind, wanted to be the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the last person on his mind when he went to bed. I wanted to plague his dreams, permeate every cell of his entire being until all he saw, thought, breathed was... me.
Finally, his face settled on something that looked... pained. Was that regret? Sadness? What the hell was this expression?
Then he spoke. “I... I never hated you either,” he mumbled.
My ears started to ring slightly. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It just couldn’t be. There was never a slip, never a hint in any shape or form that Spence felt anything towards me other than animosity. Now here he was, telling me all this when he knew I was leaving.
He was attracted to me? Liked me this whole time?
Fucking hell. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I wanted to wring his damn neck for doing this to me. Spencer just had to wait until right now to say it. Three fucking years, and I was only now finding out?
I narrowed my eyes at him. It seemed too good to be true. “What about all the times you were glaring at me from your side of the office?”
His cheeks flushed red. I’d never seen him in this manner before. It was so not him. Spence was the cool, calm, collected type of person when I wasn’t busy annoying him.
“I wasn’t glaring . . . I was just . . . admiring you from afar.”
“Admiring me from afar.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You really need to work on how you look at people with admiration versus wanting them dead,” I said, earning me a scowl, which only made me want to press him further. “Well, what about the time you yelled at me in our meeting with the IDM investors?”
“Do you mean the meeting where we discussed last year’s quarterly earnings and the growing economic needs for the company with the merger?”
I nodded. That was the one. It was as though he’d had an agenda to tear me down in that meeting with the way he picked my presentation apart as if we were not from the same team. Hell, I’d had to bring all my cards to the table that day so I didn’t make an embarrassment of myself.
“I didn’t yell at you. I was trying to show the investors how good your presentation was and how passionate we were regarding the issue.”
I was completely baffled now. “How?”
“How?” he parroted. “I thought up every single counterpoint and argument they were probably going to bring up and did it in their place. I stayed up all night coming up with different scenarios. The manager wasn’t exactly happy, but hey, we landed the deal, didn’t we?”
“Oh my god, Spencer.”
“What?”
I shut my eyes for a brief second as I choked back a laugh. This whole time, we had made it more than obvious how much we disliked each other, driven by our assumption that we each hated the other.
Fucking kill me now.
“I always found you very fascinating. But there were roles to be played, I suppose, once you made it clear you didn’t like me. I never in a million years thought you would genuinely be... interested in me. You spent every minute at the office trying to bait me into an argument for goodness’ sake!” I sighed, frustration coming through in my words. I looked over at Spencer, who was giving me a glare that usually promised a fight.
I’d like it.
Normally.
But this moment wasn’t about fighting. Not anymore.
It was about the truth.
So I looked at him, ready to give him more. “I didn’t mind it, in all honesty—our bickering and tension—I was quite fond of it.”
Spencer gave me a skeptical look. I shivered as his eyes raked my body. His lips opened, and it took me a minute to register that he was talking. “No... you’re just messing with me now,” he said, shaking his head. He moved a step backward, clearly wanting to put some space between our bodies.
I held his gaze. “I don’t kiss men just to mess with them, Spencer.” In fact, kissing another person point blank wasn’t something I did, not unless I’d been dating them and had spent some time getting to know them. I definitely wasn’t the type of person who got overly involved with others, and I tended to keep my guard up.
Except with him. Spencer was different.
Spencer was always different.
“You don’t kiss men to mess with them. So you only annoy them in every way you can when you’re working with them?”
I didn’t want to play any more games. There was so much at stake here, now that we were airing our feelings out. I closed the gap between us.
“Nope. I only kiss men I like. I meant every word when I said I find you fascinating.”
His breath hitched, eyes rounded as they bored into mine.
I held his gaze, hoping he’d be able to sense my sincerity.
“So, to fully answer your question, I kissed you because I like you.” I let the words hang in the silence, letting the weight of what I was communicating sink into his head. “I don’t mean it as just simple liking.”
He swallowed. Nodded. “I know.”
The air shifted between us, a new energy cracking in the space, charging it with something I couldn’t describe. Whatever it was, I was feeling it, and I was sure Spencer did too.
His gaze lowered to my mouth, lingering there as he drew in a shaky breath through his parted lips.
My god. I can read this expression on his face.
He wanted me to kiss him again.
“Spencer...” My voice trailed off. I wanted to kiss him too.
But I wanted to know that when I did, he’d like it.
And it would be . . . the truth.
His eyes flicked to mine. Expectant. Then he nodded.
That was all the permission I needed. My mouth was on him that instant.
A muffled moan escaped his lips, and fuck me, it went straight to my cock. My fingers dug into his hair, gripping the silky strands to angle his head so I could properly feast on that delicious mouth.
He tasted like wine and sin and everything I imagined it would be. It tasted just like him. Fascinating.
I could not get enough. The way he sucked on my tongue, like he’d been longing for it for so long.
Three fucking years.
Damn you, Spencer.
I was confident he could feel my arousal. Hell, I was hard as a rock.