Chapter 47
F uck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Only a slight hesitation, then I’m up on the curb, plowing into the Munreauxs’ forest. I’m not parking on the street. It’ll take too long to run through the woods and I need to get to Ever now.
I don’t know what she’s thinking, if she is at all, but she can’t go over that edge. I stopped her once. I’ll stop her again.
Please let me get to her in time to stop her, I send up to whoever, or whatever, might be listening. Just keep her feet on the ground until I get there.
Eventually, the trees become too tightly packed for me to fit between, forcing me to have to park halfway to the cliff. Leaving my car running, I throw the door open and take off, my legs pumping faster and harder than any of my runs with Ever. All those sprints trying to catch up to her were preparing me for this moment. I have to make it to her in time. I can’t live in a world that doesn’t have Ever Munreaux in it. I would rather spend the rest of my life hating her than one moment mourning her. I fucking reject that possibility.
Up ahead, I see a figure, and somehow dig deeper, making my legs go even faster. I explode out of the tree line with a frantic “Ever! Stop!”
Standing way too close to the edge, Ever startles, nearly giving me a heart attack. A few more inches and she’ll tumble right over.
“What are you doing here, Crue?” Her voice is full of tears. And if I could see her face, I’m sure I’d find her eyes are, too.
Out of breath, I suck in two huge lungfuls of air before gasping, “You. I’m here for you.”
She looks over her right shoulder at me, confirming my suspicion. She’s been crying.
“Ever.”
I start for her, but she lifts a palm my way.
“Don’t. Don’t come near me or I’ll jump.”
“All right.” I put my hands up where she can see them, hopefully so she won’t notice my feet that haven’t stopped moving toward her and won’t because my fucking ass she’s jumping off that cliff.
“I mean it, Crue. Don’t get any closer.”
I freeze.
“Come to me then.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t do that, Major.”
“Yes, you can. You’re Ever Munreaux. You can do anything you set your mind to.”
Her laugh is like nails on a chalkboard, there’s nothing pleasant about it. “You have no idea who I am.”
“I know you’re my flyer and the only flying you do is above my head.”
Rotating back toward the sea, she says, “Not anymore.”
I shuffle a few feet in her direction, my voice taking on a hardness I haven’t had to use with her in a while. “Get away from the edge, Ever.”
“I won’t.”
“Get away from the fucking edge, Ever! You are my fucking flyer, my fucking—”
“Nothing! I’m your nothing! I was your protectee, your obligation , but now, I’m not. Now I’m nothing …to you.” She takes a step closer to the edge.
Panic propelling me forward, I shout, “I wish that was true!”
Ever glances at me over her shoulder again, and this close, I can make out every feature on that half of her face, as well as how broken they all are. What the hell happened to this girl? To my girl? Black streaks of mascara cover her cheek all the way to her jawline where inky drops quiver, ready to fall.
“But it’s not. I have never, ever wanted to hate someone more and I have never, ever loved anyone more.”
“Pathetic.”
“Unquestionably,” I once again agree, this time with an embarrassing voice crack because I’ve never felt fear like this. If she doesn’t back up from that goddamn edge…
“I broke your heart. I saw it,” she says.
“Yeah.”
“And you’re still here.”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“You’re my first thought every morning, the last thought every night, and you’re sure as hell every thought in between. I assumed that’d stop as soon as the paychecks did, but it hasn’t. Not at all. You’re still here.” I point to my head. “And here.” My hand falls to my heart and I thump my chest with it in time with my erratic heartbeat.
She shakes her head, as if to clear it.
“You need to go. You’re not even supposed to be here.”
“I’m not,” I admit. I signed a contract saying I wouldn’t step foot within a hundred yards of the Munreaux property. Arthur can sue me for every penny I have. I’ll gladly hand over all five million five hundred thousand of them if it means I can save his daughter.
“But I can’t leave without you,” I also admit. I did that once, one fucking time, and look what happened. The love of my life’s about to jump off a motherfucking cliff.
“You don’t understand. I can’t. I can’t .”
I throw my arms out wide. “Make me! Make me understand! I’m right here, goddamn it. Just tell me! I’m fucking begging you to!”
With a finger blindly jabbed behind her at the manor, she says, “He wants me to be something I’m not. Something I’d rather die than be!” Her head is shaking uncontrollably now, her body still too close to the edge.
She’s going over. I can see it. I can feel it. She truly believes this is her only way out.
Gripping my head, I unleash a guttural growl. “Fine! Fuck! You spoiled, brat-ass, always-get-your-way, can’t-ever-fucking-listen, biggest pain in my ass…” I rip my hands away, grateful I don’t have long hair or it’d be coming with. “Fine! Okay? You win. Let’s do it.”
“Do what?”
“You wanna jump, Ever? I’ll be right fucking behind you.”
“Don’t be stupid, Crue. You won’t survive.”
“If you go over that cliff…” I point at it, my hand trembling. “I won’t need to. You are my flyer, my butterfly, my bat, my everything ! And I’ll be god-fucking-damned if I’m gonna spend a second on this planet without you!”
The fear doesn’t stand a chance against the anger fighting for dominance. I’m fucking livid. I finally find the girl of my dreams and she wants to die. Die! Without me. Who the fuck does she think she is doing anything without me? From the highest peaks in the sky, to the deepest pits in the sea, where she goes, I go. I’m her man, her protector, her everything, even in death.
Fuck Arthur Munreaux and fuck his bullshit contract.
I’ve lied on a legal document before and I’m still standing.
Not for long.
I shake out one foot, then do the same thing with the other one.
Jesus Christ, this is gonna hurt so fucking bad. Hopefully it’s over quickly.
Ever’s gaze on the ground below me, she asks, “You’re wearing the shoes?”
The ones she wrote “PROPERTY OF EVER MUNREAUX” on.
“Yeah.”
Those water-logged eyes lift to mine. “You still belong to me?”
Like that’s even a question.
“Always.”
A new wave of tears floods her face. “But I hurt you. I treated you worse than Yasmin did.”
“See! You don’t fucking listen, little bat. I’m ridiculously, sickeningly, pathetically in love with you. You can carve my heart out and you’re still gonna find your name engraved on it.” Not Yasmin’s. God. What I felt for Yaz was a drop of rain compared to the ocean of love I feel for Ever.
She whimpers. “I’m not going back in that house.”
She’s negotiating. Negotiating is good. Negotiating means we’re not plummeting to our deaths.
At least not yet.
“You don’t have to. We’ll go to mine.”
“Your parents—”
“Are much more welcoming than yours. They’re gonna love you.”
Come on, Ever. You’re worth love. Let me prove it.
“I want to but…” She returns her attention to the water, her black hair whipping around her face from the wind as she cries, “I can’t.”
I soften my tone to plead, “Come home with me, butterfly. Let me take care of you.”
“I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.” A hand to her collarbone, she folds in half, chanting, “I can’t,” but it’s not as coherent now. It’s almost as if she’s choking or something.
Shooting over to her, I wrap both arms around her from behind.
“What? You can’t what? Ever, talk to me.”
“Breathe. I can’t—” She coughs, clawing at her throat.
What the fuck? Is she having an allergic reaction?
I quickly drag her several feet backward and sit on the ground with her on my lap, the dark abyss out in front of us. Taking her hand in mine, I pull it off her throat. She immediately tears it away, scraping her chest instead.
She can’t breathe… She’s having chest pain… Anxiety? Panic attack?
I turn her around in my lap so she’s facing me. The left side of her face is dark, darker than shadows cast by the impending night, like something happened to it. Like someone happened to it. Goddamn it. Goddamn it!
Ignoring what my intuition is screaming at me to take immediate action on, I focus on the emergency at hand.
“Look at me, Ever.” As soon as her eyes lift to mine, I say, “Breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”
I follow my own instructions, showing her exactly what to do. She tries her best, but I can tell it’s difficult.
“Keep going. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”
The panic in her eyes refuses to ebb.
I replace her hand with mine and rub circles over her chest, keeping the pressure hard but still gentler than hers.
Her heart feels like what a hummingbird’s wings look like when it’s flying. So fast it’s a blur of activity.
Shit. Could she die from this? That’s how it feels for me and I’m not even experiencing it. I’m only observing.
“Fucking breathe, butterfly,” I beg. “Just like this. In… Out… In… Out…” My own breathwork becomes jagged and shallow as I talk her through it. “In… Out…”
Her breathing starts to slow but her heartbeat doesn’t.
On a growl, I tell her, “Don’t you dare die on me or I swear to God I’ll kill you myself.”
Beneath my hand, her chest shakes with a bout of laughter. It doesn’t reach her eyes though. Those are stubbornly wild and unsure.
It’s her mind. I gotta get it off this…attack. She’s being internally attacked by something.
“What’s your favorite thing to draw?” I ask her.
“You.”
I shake away the smile trying to take shape. Now is not the time for ego.
“What do you like about drawing me?”
“Everything.”
Okay. Let’s try again.
“What’s your favorite memory?”
“Hide and Keep.”
“What did you like about it?”
“Everything.”
For fuck’s sake.
“You gotta give me more than that. What did you like most about it?”
“Your back.”
“My back? What about my back did you like?”
“I pressed my face to it and everything fell away. It was like you were my personal security blanket, blocking me from anything bad in the world.”
The more she speaks, the slower her heart rate becomes.
“That’s it. Good girl,” I praise.
“I had never felt so safe before. You make me feel safe.” She sobs.
“You are safe with me,” I promise. “You’re mine to take care of, mine to spoil, mine to keep safe. I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you. I love you so much I need you to breathe. I need you alive. I need you .”
All at once her body sags against mine.
I pepper her wet face with kisses, noting how swollen that left cheek is…and still choosing to ignore it.
“What was that?” I ask her.
“A long time coming.”
“It’s over now. We’re fine. We’re good.” My heart’s still racing, but as long as hers is under control, I can manage.
“Crue, I can’t—”
“Hey.” I carefully cradle her face between my hands. “You’re okay. I got you. There’s nothing else that matters right now. Nothing.” Not even what is quite clearly a handprint on my girl’s cheek.
Grabbing the sides of my face with just as much intensity, Ever presses her lips to mine, melting into me, and I take that as a good sign, the best sign. Ever Munreaux’s alive and she’s coming home with me. Everything else can wait.