Chapter 45 - Oak
Fourty Five-Oak
I wasn’t the type to ask for advice. Not about shit like this.
But here I was, standing on the balcony, phone pressed to my ear, waiting for Valentina to pick up. It was late, but she was one of those people who never really slept.
The phone barely rang twice before she answered. “Oak?” Her voice was alert, but I could tell I’d woken her.
I exhaled, dragging a hand over my face. “Yeah, it’s me.”
She was quiet for a second. “Alright… what’s wrong?”
I hesitated. I didn’t even know where to start. “It’s Jordin,” I said finally.
A pause. Then a knowing hum. “Of course it is.”
I let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah. And I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing anymore.”
“Okay.” She didn’t rush me. Just waited.
I ran a hand through my hair, staring out at the dark skyline, and told her everything, finishing with, “She says she wants me. That she still loves me.” I swallowed hard. “But she wants him too.”
Val sighed. “And?”
I frowned. “And I think she doesn’t really care about me anymore. Not in the way I care about her. She just… feels bad for me.”
That was the part that burned the most. It wasn't just that she wanted Ciarán—that I could’ve wrapped my head around. But now, after everything? It felt like I wasn’t even a choice anymore. Just something she was holding onto out of obligation.
Val was silent for a long moment. “What makes you think that?”
I huffed out a breath. “I don’t know. It’s just… different now. The way she looks at me, the way she talks to me.” I let out a dry laugh. “And I think she only has me here because she thinks I need her.”
Val sighed again, deeper this time. “Oak…”
“Don’t fucking ‘Oak’ me in that tone,” I muttered.
“You don’t see how she is with him. It’s not like how it was with me. She lights up. She laughs different. She looks at him like he hung the stars, and I’m just—” I clenched my jaw, cutting myself off.
“Like you’re just the past.”
I exhaled sharply. “Yeah.”
There was another long pause. “You’re not giving her enough credit.”
I frowned. “The hell does that mean?”
“It means, if she was only staying with you out of pity, she wouldn’t still be here at all,” Val said bluntly. “Jordin’s not the type to do shit she doesn’t want to do. You know that better than anyone.”
I didn’t respond. Because she was right.
Val pushed. “Does Jordin do anything she doesn’t want to do?”
I swallowed hard. “No.”
“Exactly.”
I ran a hand down my face and let out a slow breath.
“She still loves you. I could see it when she talked about you,” Val said. “I don’t care what you think you see. She still loves you. Maybe not the same way she used to, but that’s your fault.”
I leaned forward, my forearms resting on the balcony railing. The cool air kept my temper even.
“I saw the news, Oak.”
I tensed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she said. “What the hell happened? He looked… bad.”
I sighed, rubbing a hand down my face. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” she echoed, disbelief clear.
“I don’t. I know as much as you, from the news,” I admitted. “He’s not answering her calls. He’s not answering mine either. Not that I’ve tried much.”
“So you just gonna leave it at that?”
I hesitated. “He’s not my fucking problem.” She was starting to annoy me.
“Oh, but he is,” she said, and I could hear the smirk. “Jordin is tied to him now. So yeah, he’s your problem.”
I didn’t respond.
“Look,” Val said, her voice shifting. “I get that this isn’t easy. But if Jordin loves both of you, then you’re both in this. You can either make it work, or you can let it fall apart.”
I clenched my jaw. She was saying the same thing the singer had.
“And another thing,” she added. “You need to talk to Ciarán.”
I scoffed. “For what? I don’t.” I’d already been nice to him when his father died—that was all I had in me.
“Because you need to figure out what the fuck this is actually gonna be. You can’t keep dancing around it, waiting for him to fuck up or for Jordin to change her mind. If you’re really gonna stay, you need to figure out how this works.”
I clenched my jaw.
“You don’t gotta like him, Oak,” she said. “But you gotta deal with him. He’s not going anywhere.”
“After this, he might be,” I rebutted.
“I doubt it. Jordin might be mad now, but she’s not going to give up on him while he’s going through something. She’s a bleeding heart,” she laughed.
I hated that she was right.
She continued, choosing her next words carefully. "Oak... have you even considered that this could be a good thing for you all?"
I frowned. "The fuck are you talking about?"
"Ethical non-monogamy," she said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. "People do it. People make it work. You already got proof she loves you. She also loves him. And instead of sneaking behind your back, she came to you about it. She gave you the choice."
I clenched my jaw. "That ain't love, Val."
She laughed softly, but there was no humor in it. "Oh, but you cheating on her was? That was love?"
My whole body went tight.
"That was different," I muttered.
"How?" she challenged. "You stepped out on your marriage without telling her, without giving her a choice. And she forgave you. But now she’s asking for something that makes her happy, something that’s honest, and suddenly it’s a betrayal?"
I blew out a harsh breath, dragging my fingers through my hair.
"It’s not about that," I said, my voice strained. "I just don’t know if I can do it, forever." Watching them fuck was one thing; I could get over that. Sex was just sex. But watching them be in love hurt.
"Then talk to him," she said simply. "Figure out your boundaries. Figure out what Jordin needs from both of you. And open your fucking mouth and tell them what you need."
"And if I can’t?"
She sighed. "Then walk away."