Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
B urning Down
Kayleen
A month later …
“May I be excused?” I ask as I push my food around my plate.
“Of course, honey. I’m here if you need me,” Mama says.
I push my seat back and stand. I think I’m going to be sick. Quickly, I rush from the dining room before I hurl.
“This can’t be real, this can’t be real,” I repeat to myself with each step I take.
I’m trying not to hyperventilate as I stumble upstairs to my bedroom. It’s like my entire world is falling apart. I never thought this day would happen to me and I still don’t understand why it’s happening.
My life used to be picture-perfect. Things like this aren’t supposed to be happening. I’m so confused about how this is happening to me.
My parents are getting a divorce. They just told me over dinner. I had to get up and leave. There was no way I could sit there and choke down the rest of my food with a straight face and pretend like my entire world wasn’t falling apart.
“This isn’t happening. It can’t be real. What the heck is going on?” I mumble.
In a daze, I stumble blindly into my room and flop down on the side of my bed. My thoughts are all over the place. I can’t seem to get them to flow in a straight line.
Is this my fault? Would this be happening if I got into college and attended school like the rest of my friends? Why have my friends ditched me?
Did they see this coming, that I’m going to be a tragic case? Is it too late for me to do anything about this? Did Daddy cheat?
How didn’t I see this coming? What’s Mama going to do now? What’s going to happen to my family?
Will my parents want me to move out now that they’re separating? How do I stop all of this from happening? There are so many questions without answers.
I glance around my room, trying to find an answer to at least one question. Nothing, I find nothing. Instead, anger fills me, and I jump up to toss the pillows from my bed.
What’s the point in everything looking perfect when it’s not. Everything is far from perfect. Everything I thought I had is now slipping away, my boyfriend, my friends, my family.
Everyone is too busy to hang out, no one has time to talk on the phone. I feel so stupid for not having a solid plan for after high school.
Once the room is fully wrecked, I drop to my knees and gasp for air. What have I done? When I close my eyes, I can’t see anything pass my night with Jareil.
Is this my punishment for sleeping with him? We’ve spoken a few times on the phone, but I feel guilty every time we do, so I stopped answering his calls.
My phone lights up somewhere underneath all the blankets and tossed pillows and sheets. I scramble to try to get to it, hoping it’s someone I can talk to in order to make this all make sense.
When I find it, I frown and sag in my spot on the floor. It’s only my alarm for my hair appointment tomorrow. I wonder if Sasha would hire me as an assistant; she’s always talking about how she needs one.
My lips tremble as big, fat tears cling to my lashes and spill down my cheeks. I miss my friends. This is something I would go to Cam about or sit down with Kota and come up with ideas.
“I don’t want to be alone,” I sob.
I open my phone and pull up Cam’s number. I really need to talk to him. When is he going to get over all of what happened? It’s never been this long before.
My heart breaks when his number goes to voicemail. It’s the same thing every time. This has been going on for the last month.
I only meant for us to take a break for a few weeks. The only reason I haven’t gone to the apartment is because my mama told me to let Cam come to me. Well, she’s getting a divorce, so I don’t really think her advice is the best.
“Screw this,” I growl.
I jump up to find my shoes and head out. However, as I go to storm from the room, my phone rings. Thinking it’s Cam calling me back, I answer without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello,” I sniffle.
“Kayleen? Are you all right?”
“JR.” I sink to the floor in defeat. I really fucked things up with Cam. “No, I’m not. Can I call you back later?”
“You can, or you could talk to me and let me help,” he says.
My heart skips a beat from his voice. I want to accept his offer. I cover my face with my hand as I begin to sob some more.
I want to talk to him and forget everything happening in my life. I open my mouth, but there’s a knock on my door. I bite back my sobs and shake my head.
JR’s family is perfect. I can’t talk to him about this.
“I’ll call you back. I promise,” I whisper.
Cameron
“It sounds like you boys are settling just fine,” Daddy says as we sit around the table having dinner at our parents’ house.
They just got back from God knows where. I’ve lost track of all the places they’ve been this year. If they’re not in one place, they’re in another. It all sounds the same to me at this point.
“We are. The team is great, and Coach Snider thinks we’ll both start this year,” Caleb says.
Daddy gives him a proud smile. If I’m honest, Caleb has been doing great. Better than we expected he would in just a month.
His grades are amazing, as always, and his focus on the team has improved with each day. He has overcome any obstacles quickly. Our teammates love him and go to him for pointers all the time.
An adjustment here and there and it’s all been smooth sailing. No one has asked why Kota and I are always around him; it’s just become the norm. Doesn’t hurt that our cousin is hot, and guys can’t keep their eyes off her.
“That’s great news. You sound happy. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” Daddy says.
Caleb and I scoff down our first plates and move for seconds in unison. One thing I can say I miss about being home is the cooking. Mama can’t cook for shit, but our chefs do a damn good job.
Caleb and I aren’t huge for nothing. We’ve been eating like two vacuums since we were fifteen. I’m sure we’ll both have a third plate before we get up from here.
Daddy watches us both with a huge grin on his face. Mama sits with her bird-portion plate, looking like she’s trying to find something to say to us.
I feel the moment she’s about to sour my appetite. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and the air in the room shifts. I drop my fork and look up as I feel her eyes on me.
“Have you spoken to Kayleen?” she asks.
“Not in a while,” I reply.
“You should give her a call. She’s going to need her friends,” she says cryptically.
I work my jaw. I don’t know why I thought I would get to come here and not talk about Kay. I haven’t forgotten about her. I’ve just been enjoying life without the drama.
Amina and I have been bowling, skating, and the movies. We’ve even had study sessions on late nights at a coffee shop not far from our neighborhood where not too many people would recognize us.
I’m getting used to smiling and laughing more in my life. Opening that door to Kay will open the door to all that shit I want to get away from. I want to enjoy this peace for a little while longer before I deal with Kayleen and the final decision on our future.
However, as her friend, I don’t want to leave her high and dry if she needs someone to lean on. Kay has tons of friends, but we’re her closest friend group. We’re her safe place.
“Okay, I’ll bite. What are you talking about?”
“Tammy Bell and Jimmy Dean are getting a divorce. I haven’t got all the details just yet, but there’s some stuff about the firm, a lawyer, and about some missing money. Somehow Jimmy Dean is caught up in the middle of everything and Tammy wants out,” Mama says.
I scrub a hand up and down my face. That is fucked up, and knowing Kay like I do, she’s probably taking it hard. I’m not ready to deal with us, but I can’t allow her to go through this on her own.
“That’s fucked up,” Caleb says out of nowhere.
I turn to look at him and he’s looking between me and my mama. I groan. He’s not going to allow me to ignore this, just like my mama ain’t.
“I’ll give her a call,” I grumble.
“That’s my boy. Kay is family. We help our family in need,” Mama says.
“You can be her support, but don’t let that family’s mess become your problem,” Daddy says.
“How can you say that? Tammy Bell is like a sister to me,” Mama gasps.
“And if I lost every dime tonight, would she be there to hold your hand?”
“I … I.” Mama gives a nervous laugh.
“I don’t think so,” Daddy says with a frown. “She’d run away from you faster than a plate of wings trying to get away from a pan of grease. I think you’re forgetting we have funds tied up in all this. It might be wise to separate ourselves from it all sooner rather than later.”
“Tammy Bell and Kayleen have nothing to do with the mess Jimmy Dean has gotten himself into. I always knew Howell was good for nothing—he’s the real one to blame.
“Jimmy Dean allowed him too much access. We’re all getting burned because of that scumbag. This is probably why Jimmy couldn’t make things happen for Kay to go to school with the boys,” Mama huffs.
“I don’t want to talk about this at this table. I thought we agreed we weren’t going to share the details with the boys. You don’t even know what Tammy and Jimmy told Kay. Cam, I’d use caution in what you say to Kay if you do talk to her. This is still a very delicate situation.”
From the pointed look on my daddy’s face, I get that my mama has shared a bunch of other folk’s business that ain’t none of mine. I’ll keep that in mind.
I frown down at my unfinished food, no longer having an appetite. Pushing my plate away, I grab my glass and wash down the food I didn’t get to finish enjoying.
Welcome home, Mama.