Chapter Six Ellie
“Wow! You look so beautiful!”
I’d been looking at my reflection in a giant full-sized mirror, trying to see if I recognized the creature staring back at me, when I caught Meredith staring at me with a huge grin on her face.
I didn’t, by the way. Recognize myself, that was. I mean, this was a version of me I’d always wanted to be.
Someone pretty and confident. Someone who belonged. Who had family and support. Who had found their person.
It’s all pretend. Don’t forget that, Ellie.
Sometimes, I really hated my inner voice. Logic was such a goddamn bitch.
I knew this wasn’t the fairytale wedding it was dressed up to be. But still. Couldn’t my inner voice just shut up long enough for me to enjoy today?
“Ellie, come on. Smile. You really look amazing,” Meredith repeated the sentiment and crossed the room.
“Really? Cause I feel like a crazy person,” I hissed, two seconds from a panic attack.
When Andres asked if I wanted to fly to Vegas or get married here, I chose here so we didn’t disrupt Sammy too much.
But I had no idea he meant get married, as in like have a huge ass wedding with all the frills.
It seemed the second he said yes, and I agreed to stay to do it here, Andres had started the ball rolling.
Apparently, my soon-to-be hubby was a sucker for a party. He was also protective as fuck, something I was eternally grateful for.
Sammy and I were hustled from St. E’s in Morristown to Andres’ condo on Billionaire’s Row in Central Park. Our new luxurious digs were in the same building where Meredith and her husband, as well as the Volkov brothers, owned their own condos.
It was incredible, and that the building was more secure than Fort Knox was just a bonus. I didn’t have to worry about Gary or any of his hired goons making appearances.
Really, I shouldn’t complain. The condo was amazing. Apart from all the protection, there was just so much room.
The view alone was breathtaking. All of Manhattan was spread out below us in full color like a miniature model set. The furniture was masculine, yes, but it was also of excellent quality.
Everything was neat and clean, and at first, I worried about bringing Rocky, but Andres had insisted it was okay.
In fact, on the day we moved Andres had already installed an entire wall full of cat climbers and scratchers for the little furball in the living room. He promised Sammy more to come, but he wanted him to help pick everything out.
Sammy was thrilled. But I worried about the dangers of cat dander. Silly me to think Andres hadn’t thought of that.
He had a bottle of allergy meds waiting for me. They were recommended by New York’s top ENT center, where he’d made me an appointment. He also assured me with Rocky on a new, special diet and with regular grooming, my reaction to the cat’s fur and dander should get much better.
It was thoughtful.
It was something no one had ever really done for me.
And I didn’t know what to do with that.
Andres gave the two of us space to settle in. He even hired an interior designer who sat with the two of us and Sammy so we could choose things for his bedroom, turning the otherwise simple guest room into a little boy’s paradise.
“You don’t have to do all this,” I said.
“Of course, I do.”
“You are doing more than enough just giving us a place to stay.”
“I am not giving you a place to stay, Lupina. We will discuss that later. But being able to provide for you and Sammy is my pleasure. Don’t fight me on this.”
We never did discuss that later, but every day since, I’d thought about those words. I thought about everything he’d done and was going to do. Like marry me.
Still, I never expected a real wedding.
Complete with gown, tuxes, flowers, bridesmaids, the works.
I mean, his mother was there, for Christ’s sake.
It was too much.
It was amazing.
That Andres had quietly insisted on participating in the decorating touched something inside me.
I could almost allow myself to believe he was invested in this, in us.
But I put a lid on all that messy emotion really quick.
I just couldn’t afford to be charmed by my almost husband.
I had yet to discover his motivation for going along with all this craziness. But I wouldn’t fall for thinking it was because of me.
I’d made that mistake before. Whatever Andres wanted, I would gladly give him if I could. If it was my inheritance, fine. I would do anything to secure Sammy’s well-being.
Maybe he was doing this because he thought he would benefit since I was friends with the wives of wolves. The women married to his bosses.
That was what my brand new friend group jokingly referred to themselves as.
“Well? What’s that look for?” Meredith asked.
I closed my eyes, then met her questioning stare. Truth was, I didn’t know what I was doing, and I had to confide in someone.
“Am I doing the right thing?”
I bit my lip, chewing off the lipstick I’d just carefully applied. I stared at Meredith instead of my reflection because it was easier that way.
If I saw my wedding dress, it would just make me spiral all over again.
I didn’t know how he knew, but Andres had managed to get me the perfect dress. He’d sent a half dozen gowns in varying lengths and styles to the guest bedroom where I was sleeping until the wedding.
He’d said it was a sort of wedding gift. I never knew a husband to choose his wife’s gown, but Andres had impeccable taste. That he seemed to have an instinct for what I liked was just luck.
They’d all been beautiful.
All my size.
And none of them were white.
In fact, hardly any of them were what people considered appropriate for a wedding. But we were getting hitched on Halloween and it looked like Andres was a themed wedding kind of guy.
So, yeah, I wore black on my wedding day.
Head to toe black.
And for the first time in maybe ever, I felt gorgeous.
It was not my norm. Not what was expected of me or what I’d been taught to be by others.
“You mean are you doing the right thing by marrying super-hot Andres so he can protect you and your son from your sleazy ex, and maybe give you some sweaty time between the sheets while he’s doing that? Is that the right thing you are referring to?” Meredith asked.
“Oh my God. Why did I even tell you about that?” I grumbled, annoyed with myself.
I’d kept it a secret for so long, but when I announced I was marrying Andres, I had to give the girls something. So, I told them about the amazing sex we’d had a few months ago.
“Look, Ellie, it’s perfectly natural for two people who find each other attractive to want to have sex. So if you feel the mood strike, you just walk up to him, grab him by his dick and say get on the bed, bitch, mama wants to go for a ride,” she finished, waggling her eyebrows.
“Meredith! Please stop talking,” I yelled her name, then mumbled the rest, closing my eyes.
“Ellie,” she mocked me. “Seriously, you are marrying Andres. He is like the sweetest man ever. Have you seen him playing with Sammy? I mean, how could you go wrong?” she asked.
Immediately, my mind filled with images of Andres and my son.
Andres bringing home toys and books for Sammy to play with.
Andres kneeling on the floor in his gorgeous custom suit to give Sammy a high-five.
Andres laughing when Sammy got his finger-paint covered hands on his briefcase.
Andres tucking him in at night.
“Okay. You’re right. It will be fine,” I whispered.
I wanted to believe it.
I needed to believe it.
But what if he turned out to be a prick? What if he just wanted to control me like Gary?
All my life I did what I was told. I was demure, submissive, quiet.
Prim.
Proper.
Liar.
Yeah, I was a liar. And I was so fucking sick of it.
So tired of trying to meet others’ expectations and falling short.
So weary of pretending.
But Andres didn’t ask me to pretend.
In fact, if I were being honest with myself, Andres didn’t ask me for a thing. If he had any expectations of me, well, he hadn’t said anything.
Except for that one little thing.
I squirmed. My heart tightened.
“Look, I don’t know how it all happened so fast, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Ellie. That man is into you,” Meredith continued.
“What? Oh, no. I already told you, he’s just helping me out. We don’t have feelings for each other,” I scoffed.
“Uh huh. Tell yourself that if it helps, but if Andres is anything like the others, there is more to it than that,” Meredith chided gently.
“Have you seen Sammy?” I asked, changing the subject.
“He’s with Michaela and Lucy in the playroom. Nanny Rosa is with them,” Meredith said, stifling a yawn.
It was early days in her pregnancy, but I frowned and pointed to a chair.
“Put your butt in that seat, please. I don’t need you passing out before I make it down the aisle.”
It was my turn to scold, but Meredith simply grinned. She patted her still flat tummy and sat down on the chaise lounge.