His Wild Attraction: A Billionaire Romance Novel (Wild Billionaire Romance Book 4)

Chapter Twenty-One Andres

If she only knew.

Ellie wanted to know how many secrets I was keeping, well, goddamn, I wasn’t about to tell her.

What could I say?

Why, yes Ellie, I have been keeping things from you.

Like the fact I’m obsessed with you. Completely and totally fucking unhinged when it comes to you.

I spend every waking moment thinking about you, wanting you, needing you.

I’m like a fucking junky with an addiction I have no control over. But it isn’t smack that has me off the rails, it’s you.

I am fucking addicted to you and your smiles, your kisses, the way you sigh in your sleep, the face you make when you come.

Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK.

I had so many fucking secrets. But I couldn’t tell her any of them.

“Ellie,” I said her name again, stepping back from her tempting warmth.

I couldn’t touch her and keep my train of thought. I was only human, for fuck’s sake.

“I’m sorry if I kept things from you. It was unintentional. I wasn’t trying to hold anything back,” I said, carefully weighing my words.

I wanted to explain. To tell her how much she meant to me without sending her running. But like always, I was overthinking it.

“Andres,” she sighed. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to do this. I-I can’t, I won’t?—”

Ellie dropped her chin and shook her head. Turning around, she gave me her back.

My heart was pounding so hard, squeezing tightly inside my chest until I couldn’t breathe.

Panic gripped me.

She won’t? She can’t? What did she mean she didn’t want to do this?

“No. No! Don’t tell me you don’t want to do this, Lupina,” I said, sputtering my words.

Fear made me choke.

Suddenly, I was so fucking scared.

Was she trying to leave me already?

The possibility made me sick to my stomach.

She can’t leave me. I won’t let her.

I’d do anything to keep her. Promise anything. Give anything. Even trick her.

If I had to fuck her into submission right there on the countertop to get her to agree to stay, I would.

“I fucked up by not telling you everything, but there’s no going back for us, Ellie. I won’t let you leave,” I growled, placing my hand on her elbow.

I wanted to force her to face me, but I needed to calm down first.

“What? No, I didn’t mean that. I just meant, I can’t have you shutting me out. I don’t want to feel like this,” she said, her voice low.

“Like what?” I asked, right behind her now.

I needed to see her face when she was speaking so I could gauge how she felt.

Ellie heaved a sigh, but she turned around. Her eyes were still downcast, and I couldn’t help it then.

I reached out and touched my finger to her chin, lifting gently until she looked at me.

“We’re married now. We do this together. Please, just talk to me. Explain to me what I did wrong and how I can make it up to you, Wife.”

Curiosity burned inside me like a living thing as I watched her processing my request.

Would she indulge me? Or tell me to fuck off?

I was eager to know. Anxious for her decision on how to handle me.

My Lupina was no mouse, no matter what she thought or how others viewed her.

I knew it, but that wasn’t enough. I needed her to know it, too.

“I’m sorry I—” Ellie started.

Her expression was so forlorn, it pained me to witness it. That I had caused her even a second’s displeasure made me ridiculously angry with myself.

She deserved better. For her, I would do better.

“Don’t apologize. Just tell me what’s on your mind,” I said, interrupting her.

“Okay, fine,” she muttered and heaved a sigh.

I bit back my smirk.

She was so fucking cute when she got annoyed.

Her gold-green eyes flashed with temper, and fuck, my cock was already half-hard just looking at her.

“Andres, I just need you to promise to talk to me, okay? No matter what. Telling your bosses they’re your cousins was probably emotional for you, and I’d like to be there for you when you have something like that going on. I’m your wife,” she murmured.

Pleasure filled me at her quiet declaration, but I held my tongue. My wife clearly had more to say.

“Even if it’s hard or ugly. I want to know. Maybe I can help,” she added. “I just don’t want to feel like I did something wrong when you go all quiet. If I did something to make you upset or something, I need you to tell me so we can discuss it like adults.”

“You think I’m angry with you?” I asked, truly stunned.

“I don’t know if you’re angry with me or if you’re anything with me because you don’t tell me. I don’t like not knowing. When I was married to Gary, he always played these little games, and he just made me feel bad all the time.”

“I make you feel bad?” I asked, my eyes even wider.

“No! No,” she said, shaking her head, and some of my tension eased.

I rubbed my hand over my face, trying for a calm I didn’t feel.

“Ellie, what are you really saying? I need you to tell me more, please,” I said.

It was only through years of working a high-pressure job that I wasn’t a bumbling mess right then. I wanted to drop to my knees and beg forgiveness for something I didn’t even know what.

This woman had me by the balls, and she didn’t even know it.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything,” she whispered.

“No. Don’t do that. You can talk to me, Ellie. No Lies. Just truth. Always,” I told her, meaning every word.

The last thing I ever wanted to do was ignore this. I didn’t want her upset, but we needed to hash this out. Whatever this was.

Fuck.

I’d spent months mooning over this woman. Testing the strength of my resolve. Battling my attraction by holding back and staying away.

Every second apart from her was sheer fucking torture. I was head over fucking heels. But I knew she wasn’t there.

Not yet.

I need her to be.

I want her to be.

But how was I supposed to make a woman like her fall in love with a guy like me?

I thought I had a pretty good plan. And it had been working so far. Every night my wife crawled into bed beside me, and every night the tension between us tightened until she came to me.

Sometimes it started with the brush of her leg against mine, or Ellie would drape her arm over my side. She’d touch me first, then I’d turn and pull her into my embrace.

I was always ready, willing, and waiting. Helpless to deny my feelings for her and the need to bury my length inside her warm, wet, willing body.

The sex we shared was phenomenal.

Fantastic.

At least, I thought it was.

But if I made her feel bad, I’d have to kick my own fucking ass.

I frowned.

Hard.

She always got off when we fucked. I made sure of it. Sometimes multiple times.

But had I grossly misjudged the physical aspects of our relationship? Was I somehow not leaving my wife satisfied?

The mere thought that I was a selfish prick in that way made me want to fucking rage.

I was going to find out exactly what I was doing wrong the second we went to bed that night. And I was going to make sure I never did it again.

My Lupina never had a thing to fear from me. I would always take care of her.

Now I just had to prove it.

Turning my attention back to my wife who was still talking, I ran my hand back over my face and tuned back in to her words.

“This is so embarrassing,” she said.

I guided her to one of the kitchen stools and held it out as she climbed into the seat, taking the one beside her.

“No secrets. No lies, remember? Talk to me.”

I would keep repeating it until she believed me.

“Okay, maybe if I explain from the beginning. See, when I was a kid, I was always on the outside. My father loved me, but he was a busy man. An important man. I was raised by nannies,” she started.

“Where was your mother?” I asked.

Yeah, I’d read the background report on Ellie Maxwell that I’d received from Josef’s team back when Ellie first met his wife, Meredith. The man was overprotective to a fault, but I couldn’t blame him.

Read the report? Ha.

I had the fucking thing memorized.

“My mother died when I was too young to remember, and Dad never remarried. When Gary walked into my life, I was just the right amount of lonely and desperate for attention, I ate it up.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, Ellie. You’re not responsible for his behavior,” I started, but she shook her head.

“I know that. But I am responsible for mine. And I. Ate. It. Up,” she said, and I could see the self-loathing on her face.

It made my blood boil. To think she blamed herself at all for that vile prick’s behavior.

That was just another strike against the asshole. Just another thing he stole from my wife along with her inner peace.

And I was going to take it back from him. I was going to reclaim my Lupina’s pride, her peace, her dignity from him. And I was going to do it in flesh and blood.

“At first, I thought Gary was gentle and sweet. He was complimentary, and never demanding. I married him the second he asked, so damn hungry to feel a connection with just one person,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

“It didn’t matter that he wasn’t overly romantic with me. I mean, I didn’t know any better. And when he made excuses and stayed away most nights after we were married, I was more than okay with it. I assumed he was busy,” she confessed, and I could tell by the set of her shoulders how humiliated she felt.

Anger on her behalf rose inside of me like the tide, but I swallowed it down. Gary was a piece of shit.

He’d tricked her. Used her. Made her feel unworthy of love and affection. And that was before the motherfucker laid hands on her.

Oh, I was counting down the fucking days until I could make him pay. All debts required payment, and his bill was just about fucking due.

“He wanted a child, and I wanted to be a mother. We needed some help, but after seeing a doctor, I got pregnant right away. That was good for both of us, really. Gary moved into a separate room because he said my tossing and turning kept him up at night. I didn’t argue. It was better for me, too,” she whispered, and I hated myself for asking, but I had to know.

“Did he hurt you? In the bedroom, I mean,” I whispered, fighting against my fury.

“Oh, um, no, not like that. Not the way you mean,” she said, and her cheeks turned red.

“Ellie,” I murmured.

“Um, Gary wasn’t m-my first,” she whispered, not looking at me.

Surprise followed by jealousy followed by relief slammed into me. The last bit took me completely by surprise.

I exhaled slowly. The idea of her with anyone else made me want to commit fucking murder, but there was another part of me.

A selfless part I didn’t even recognize since I so seldom saw it, that felt pure fucking joy that someone other than her piece of shit ex had had eased her into womanhood.

“I, um, lost it on prom weekend,” she added.

I closed my eyes trying not to picture beautiful teenaged Ellie losing her cherry to some fucking high school punk.

But still, I had to admit the image was better than her ex.

“Okay. Good. Keep going,” I growled.

“But I hadn’t been with anyone else until my wedding night. I never knew why he wanted to wait, but I understood soon after when we were on our honeymoon. Gary had a hard time, um, rising to the occasion. He said it was my fault. My soft body wasn’t appealing to him. And I was just always apologizing for it,” she said.

“Ellie,” I growled, but she shook her head.

“Just let me finish, okay? I have no misgivings about my body or how I look, and I am fine with it. This body gave me Sammy and I love it, I have to. Understand?”

I nodded. I couldn’t do anything but nod. I needed her to keep talking.

“But Gary went quiet on me after the pregnancy, then he started with the games. He would tell me I was this burden, that I was this princess that he had to take care of and how sick I made him. He made me feel like I was nothing. Like I needed to apologize for my existence. I-I don’t want to feel like that again. I can’t apologize to you for being human and?—”

“Ellie, no. Stop it,” I grunted. “Listen to me. I don’t know what I did to make you feel this way, but I am so fucking sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said, shaking her head, but the tears pricking her eyes made me feel so goddamn low.

“Yes. I clearly fucking do need to apologize, Lupina. You’re my wife. I never want you to have feelings like that. I never want to make you feel how he made you feel. Not fucking ever.”

“Andres, you don’t have to say things like that to me,” she said, shaking her head.

“Things like what?”

“Things that you would say to someone you actively pursued. Look, I know you only did this, married me, cause I asked you to. But why did you? I mean, really why did you marry me?”

“Don’t you know?” I growled in frustration.

“Andres?”

“Okay, you’ve obviously had a rough day, and I contributed to that, I own that, and I am so fucking sorry,” I growled, rubbing my hand over my face.

“Maybe on an intellectual level you knew Gary was a piece of shit, but inside you somewhere there is a piece of you that believes you deserved how he treated you, Ellie, and I won’t have it. Not in this house. Not in this marriage.”

“That’s not-t true,” she whispered, but I could see the wheels turning.

“Don’t finish that lie. Think about it for a second. You bought into some of the horseshit that fucking vermin spouted. But I”m here now and I”m telling you no more.”

Her eyes blinked slowly as she faced me, and I watched with quiet pride as she straightened her shoulders.

“You are not a puppy, Ellie Ramirez. You”re not a mouse. You”re not a doormat.”

“What am I then?” she whispered the question.

“You are a fucking she-wolf. My Lupina. And I”m gonna keep telling you that until you believe it. Until you toss that gorgeous head back and howl like the motherfucking badass mama wolf I know you are. Hear me?”

“Yes, Andres,” she said, eyes wide.

“Good. Now, you want to know why I married you? If I really want you? Gimme your hand,” I growled, taking it before she could offer it and placing it over my rock hard length.

“Feel that? That’s all for you, Angel.”

“Andres,” she whimpered, then swallowed.

Images of her throat working to suck down my length filled me, making my pants even tighter.

Fuck. Me.

“Any minute now Sammy could come running in here, otherwise I’d have you bent over with my cock buried in that hot pussy, showing you how much I want you. But I’ll do that later,” I murmured, letting go of her hand.

But she kept it right fucking there.

Right. Fucking. There. On my dick.

Her small palm stroked my cock over my suit pants, and if I wasn’t used to practicing my iron fucking will whenever I was around her, I’d have come inside my boxers like some horny kid.

“Anytime I do something to make you doubt me, or yourself, you tell me right away, Wife. Promise me.”

“I don’t doubt you, Andres.”

“Promise me,” I repeated, groaning as she gripped me harder.

“Okay. Yes, I promise,” she whispered.

“Good Girl,” I grunted, pressing my mouth to hers and taking her hand off my dick.

I wanted to punch myself in the face for doing that, but I was seconds from blowing.

“We’ll finish that later,” I promised.

“O-okay. And I’m sorry, too. I was just, well, the girls were talking, and they know more about you than I do. And it made me feel bad. I mean, Adrik and Marat are your cousins and you told them at the wedding, but I wondered when you were going to tell me, and I felt bad,” she said.

“I didn’t mean to not tell you, and I feel like shit for making you feel bad,” I told her, going for the truth.

Ellie shook her head, as if to stop me from apologizing. I wasn’t about to tell her I loved her. Not yet. But I needed to give her something.

I cupped her cheeks in my hand and waited for her soft hazel eyes to meet mine.

“Try to understand, Wife, when I’m with you, it’s all I can do to remember to breathe.”