Chapter Twenty-Nine Ellie
Healthy relationships were built on more than sex.
Everyone said so.
Logically, I knew there must be some truth in that statement.
But there was something to be said for physically connecting with someone. In my not-expert opinion, sex sated more than carnal appetites, it brought people closer.
Having sex with Andres was an intimacy I’d never shared with anyone else, and it made me feel closer to him. It boosted my energy, my confidence, my happiness.
But maybe that was just him. He was so supportive. Easily the kindest, most sincere man I’d ever met.
Andres had been insatiable for me that night. And every night since. I reciprocated that feeling.
And then some.
I wanted the man all the time. Like, all the time. So much so, I actually used the little clitoral massage toy Sofia had bought me as a bachelorette party present, even though I didn’t have a bridal shower.
Note to self. Tell Sofia a thank you when I see her.
I swallowed down my lusty thoughts. There was no way I wanted to go to this lawyer’s meeting thinking about sex with my fine as fuck man.
After I brushed my teeth, I turned the water on inside the stupid luxurious shower of the main bathroom that was attached to mine and Andres’ bedroom.
Stepping beneath the stream of hot water, I sighed, allowing the constant stream to wash away some of my stress.
I knew the meeting with Gary was going to be horrible.
Everything with Gary was horrible.
And I wished I could say that was why I was freaking out.
On some level, it was, of course. I was so worried that bastard would somehow win visitation with Sammy, and I knew I could never allow it.
But my stress was due to something else. Something totally unexpected.
I think I might be desperately in love with my husband.
Every time I thought I had his motivations defined, Andres took me by surprise.
Like when he came home to eat dinner with us every night. Like we were a real family. That was one of the first and biggest shocks I’d had to contend with after Sammy and I moved into Andres’ condo.
I was going to miss that tonight, but of course, Gary’s lawyers had asked to meet during the time I usually set for Sammy, and now all of us, to have our evening meal.
Gary would have remembered that. And he would have chosen the time on purpose.
Dick.
What he did not know was my new husband had no problem leaving work a couple of hours early, just so Sammy could still enjoy dinner with the two of us.
Thoughtful man.
Dangerous man.
The man was terrifying. And I didn’t mean Gary.
I meant Andres.
My husband.
Didn’t he know it was dangerous doing things like that? That it was terrifying to make me wonder if I had real feelings for him? Even worse, to make me want them.
How could I keep what we were doing in check if he went around confusing me like that?
I exited the shower, rubbing lotion on my skin and a thick-toothed comb through my hair. I applied my face cream and some texturizing hair product to make my bouncy curls behave while I let them air dry.
After our early dinner, Andres excused himself.
He had to head back to Volkov Towers, promising to meet me at the law firm where Gary’s lawyers were hosting this little meeting.
He was going to send a car to get me from Josef’s security firm. And we’d already borrowed Nanny Rosa from Sofia and Adrik to sit with Sammy while we were gone.
I didn’t feel comfortable hiring our own nanny just yet, and Andres was not forcing the issue.
In fact, the only time he brought it up was when we first moved in. That was about the same time he said I didn’t have to cook or clean or anything. That he would hire any staff I needed or wanted.
But I enjoyed cooking, and Andres seemed to like eating whatever I made well enough.
Danger.
Andres was an enigma to me. I’d never known a man like him. But I wanted to. I found myself wanting to know everything about him.
What made him tick?
What did he like?
What did he want?
What did he need?
I wanted to know it all. He gave me so much, and I really had no clue what, if anything, I did for him.
I didn’t feel indebted. Not like I had to pay him back. No. It wasn’t like that.
But I did want to do something, anything, for him. I applied some light cosmetics and pulled on my underthings without haste.
Dressing in privacy and at my own leisure were luxuries I’d missed. When I was staying at St. Elizabeth’s, the bathrooms were communal, and even though the Morristown house offered privacy, it hardly compared to this.
But I knew that had more to do with the way I felt inside.
I’d been scared and facing this on my own back then. Now I had people in my corner. I had Meredith, Des, and Sof, and the support of their husbands. I had Nancy, my sweet mother-in-law, who texted me often. I had Mrs. Stevens, who’d been so kind to me.
And best of all, I had Andres.
St. E’s had been a godsend. That place saved me, and I knew I owed it a debt. It brought me Meredith and my new friends. It brought me Andres.
I’d already decided I would volunteer there when Sammy was in school full time and after we finished dealing with Gary and his cancerous bullshit.
God, I hate him.
I really did. And not just for what he did to me, for laying hands on me and threatening my boy, but for being a total piece of shit weasel of a man.
I used to be terrified of Gary, but there was a part of me now that recognized him for what he was.
An insignificant blight on humanity. A pitiful excuse for a man.
Yes, I was afraid he’d push his claim on my son, but I trusted Andres to deal with it.
Thank God for Andres.
I headed for the walk-in closet and looked at what was my side of the enormous space.
Andres had told me to use it when I first moved in. But my meager belongings hadn’t filled even a third of the shelves, drawers, and racks available.
Like he had shown me in so many other ways, Andres understood my discomfort.
There was nothing wrong with flannel pants and sweatshirts, but if I was going to live in his world, I needed something more than the few pieces of clothing I’d managed to collect these past months.
After moving in, as if by magic, I woke up one day to dozens of new articles of clothing, both on hangers and lining the shelves, filling the previously empty spaces.
I’d already blubbered all over him for the amazing things he’d gotten for Sammy. Clothes, toys, the cat condos lining just about every free wall in the place.
Everything was by the same designer as the wedding dresses Andres had sent me. He was just the most thoughtful man.
Tonight was going to be rough, and I needed something staid. I needed to look respectable, but it had to be something that bolstered my confidence.
I moved around, touching hangers and perusing shelves. Each thing was more beautiful than the last, and I was just overwhelmed. Even when I had money, I never dressed that way.
Finding trendy clothing for my plus-sized body was always a challenge. Also, there was the fact I was always trying to live up to someone else”s expectations of what I should wear or look like.
I recalled something I read in a magazine article once upon a time and I finally recognized the wisdom of the statement.
Just because it looks good on the mannequin doesn’t mean it looks good on you.
Truer words were never spoken, I thought and snorted.
Andres seemed to know exactly what would look good on me. The designer dressed a lot of plus-sized women, and I appreciated the quality and cut of the clothes almost as much as I appreciated my husband purchasing them for me.
Every piece was superb and just what I’d want for myself. It was like Andres had told him I was a mom, someone who liked to cook, and that I kept fairly active.
There were several versatile pieces and activewear, both of excellent quality and durability. But there were fancier articles, too.
Even those were edgier than I’d ever bought for myself. I bit my lip, excited about clothes for the first time in a very long time.
All the colors were bright and bold. Not soft pastels that made me look washed out.
They suited me, and I bit my lip, grinning at the deep necklines and fitted waists. The one place where his preferred color choice for me, black,reigned supremewas in my panty drawer.
“Let’s see,” I sighed, running my hands over the dozens of silky, lacy confections.
Okay, so Andres certainly knew how to bolster a girl’s confidence.
Sweet, sexy man.
I sucked in a deep breath, swapped the plain underwear set I’d put on for one of the new, sexier black lace panties and bra sets that filled my lingerie drawers.
After making sure my new under things were in place and comfy, I grabbed a pair of black, high-waisted, wide-legged pants and paired them with a deep green sweater.
The scoop neck wasn’t immodest, but it did marvelous things for my breasts and belly, making the former appear larger than the latter, and making me feel ultra feminine but not wimpy in the slightest.
I pulled on a pair of black ankle boots and used a spritz of my favorite scent. Then I headed to the living room to grab my purse and cell phone.
“Whoa,” a deep voice rumbled behind me.
I turned around and slapped a hand to my chest, startled.
“Ooh! Andres! You scared me.”
“Sorry, I thought you heard me,” he murmured, his eyes glued to my body.
I had to admit, I was flattered. A man like that losing his cool over me?
Whoa, indeed.
“I thought you were going to meet me there,” I said, trying to slow my beating heart.
“I was, but I finished my call early,” Andres said, his blue-gray eyes raking over me from head to toe.
My whole body tingled beneath his hungry stare.
“Oh, well, good, I’m glad you’re home. And thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for, Wife?” he asked.
He canted his head to the side in that manner he had, reminding me of a curious animal. My belly warmed, and I bit my lip, gesturing to myself.
“God, for so many things. First, I never thanked you for the clothes,” I said, looking down at my new outfit.
“My pleasure,” he said, his gaze lingering on my breasts.
“And I never thanked you for marrying me. For dealing with Gary. And my father’s company. For protecting Sammy.”
“Shh,” Andres said, crossing the distance between us.
He cupped my cheeks and kissed my lips, a soft peck before pressing his forehead to mine.
“You never have to thank me for that, Lupina. It’s my privilege. All of it. Now, let’s go say goodbye to Sammy before we deal with that piece of shit.”
“Okay,” I agreed, too anxious to argue.
I kissed Sammy goodbye, smiling as he showed me the puzzle he and Nanny Rosa were working on.
Then, watching Andres kneel to admire my son’s handiwork, I had to place a hand over my heart that was currently trying to beat me to death.
Sammy, my sweet boy, tossed his arms around my husband’s neck and kissed him on the cheek.
“Goodnight, Dad!”
“See ya later, Sweet Boy. Tomorrow is a big day. You remember what it is?”
“The groomer is coming to give Rocky his bath,” Sammy said proudly.
“That’s right. And she’s gonna trim his nails so no more scratches, okay?”
“Yay! Rocky is gonna feel better, too?”
“That’s right. Goodnight, Sammy.”
“Thanks, Dad. Night.”
My eyes filled with happy tears watching the interaction between them, my two boys, and yeah, I fell a little deeper, a little harder.
“You good?” Andres asked, frowning at me.
“Yeah,” I replied.
I nodded and offered him a bright smile.
Gary didn’t know Andres had been a better father over the matter of weeks he’d had with Sammy than Gary had been over the last four years.
Suddenly, I didn’t really care what Gary knew.
All that mattered was right there in front of me.
My boys. My son and my husband. The two greatest loves of my life.
Andres was in a completely different league than Gary.
Hell.
I didn’t even think they were the same species.
Gary was slime. A piffling blip on my radar that I would’ve regretted meeting entirely were it not for my son.
And Andres was, well, Andres was mine.
For the first time since I said I do, I looked at the man I took as my husband, and I allowed that thought to roll around inside my brain.
He’s mine.
The question was, what was I going to do with him?
I mean, it was obvious we had chemistry. But did we have more?
My heart pounded a little harder, and my mouth went dry.
“You ready?” he asked, his stormy gaze darting over me.
“What? Oh, um, yes. Is it cold outside?” I asked.
The weather was unpredictable this time of year, and you really couldn’t be sure what to wear. It was a valid question.
Even if I felt like a coward because the words I really wanted to say had nothing to do with the weather, and everything about the man and what he was doing to my heart.
He’s wrecking me.
“You should bring a jacket or one of those wraps you like, just in case,” he murmured, those blue-gray eyes boring into me.
It felt like he was looking right into my soul. Like I was stripped bare for him, and he knew exactly what he was doing to me.
I shivered and walked to the closet in the front hall and grabbed an oversized scarf that doubled as a pashmina.
It was one I’d had forever. It had belonged to my father’s mother or his aunt or something. There were dozens more in my father’s home, but this one had been my favorite.
Hopefully, when all of this was over, I could go back and see what I would keep and what I would sell. I hadn’t visited my father’s house in years. Since his death, it had been closed up, locked away while his will was in probate. And of course, now, with Gary’s lawsuits, it would be tied up even longer.
It was soft. Cashmere, I thought, and the paisley print was done in dark greens, cinnamons, and burgundy. It looked good with my outfit.
I listened for Andres’ footfalls coming down the hall and waited for him. We rode the elevator in silence, and Andres held the door to our car open for me.
It was far more convenient to use a car service in the city because of the hassles of parking and traffic. The driver was one I recognized, but his eyes stayed forward as Andres slid into the seat beside me.
“Will we be on time?” I asked, gnawing my bottom lip.
“Yes. Don’t worry, Lupina. It’s going to be okay,” he said, placing his large hand on my thigh.
The contact was just what I needed, and instead of pushing him away or freezing, I did something that shocked even myself.
I leaned into him, closing my eyes, and breathing his masculine scent, bolstering myself with his strength and energy.
I felt something warm and firm press against my head, and I sighed. My husband had kissed me on the head.
Gently. Sweetly.
And it was everything I’d always wanted.
Affection. Support. Unwavering strength.
Oh God, I am in love with him.
I didn’t dare open my eyes again as we moved like snails through the thick traffic. Rain started pelting against the windows, and I gasped as thunder roared and lightning struck.
“It’ll pass, Lupina,” Andres whispered, tightening his hold on my leg.
That’s what I was afraid of.
That all of this would pass.
I bit my lip and offered a prayer to whoever was listening.
Please keep Sammy safe.
Don’t let Gary get his slimy hands on my son.
And please, if it’s possible, let me keep Andres.
Let me have this one thing for me. Please.
Tears filled my eyes, and I felt wretched for being so selfish. I had other things to worry about than the possibility that I was so far gone in love with my own husband, I couldn’t breathe.
What do I do now?
What do I do if this is too much for him?
What do I do when he wants to leave me?
Panic was seconds away from setting it. But I couldn’t afford to have a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t pause to think about any of that right then.
I had to focus on the enemy I was about to face. Not the enemy that was my self-doubt.
Get your game face on, Ellie. It’s time.