12. Solving
12
SOLVING
Hayden
I couldn’t believe it. How could Maiden, the sweetest, coolest kid in the world, have ended up in this situation? The obvious answer came to me, and I shuddered in sickening annoyance. His Dad beat people up all the time. Was he just trying to be like me? His good old dad, who smashes people in the face all the time. It was true. It was me. I did this.
I honked my horn and yelled some expletives at an SUV that came powering down the freeway in front of me. Yeah, what a great role model you turned out to be Hayden. Another Raynor that talks with his fists. At least I’d found somewhere I could do it where it was actually appreciated. But all I’d really done was repeat the mistakes of the past, and now Maiden was following that well-beaten path.
Could we handle another school? How many were even left that would take a kid whose biggest strength was a mean right hook? I took a sip from my travel mug and looked at the writing on it. Best Dad In The World . At that moment, I felt like the worst dad in history .
She was waiting for me outside the school and I felt a sinking feeling swimming in my guts. She probably couldn’t wait to tell me that my kid was a monster like his dad and for us both to get the hell out of there. At least she’d have a story for her school teacher friends to tell over and over to each other.
Her arms were crossed and her expression serious as I got up to the school gates.
“Hi, where is he?”
She tried to hide her disgust of me, but made a bad job of it.
“He’s inside and he’s okay. But, look, can we talk?”
“If this is about the other night…”
“It’s not,” she said bluntly.
It was then that I remembered her name. Sarah . That’s what she’d said when we’d met. I’d liked the way she’d said my name that night. It sounded nice.
We sat on the bench outside the front of the school and Sarah filled me in. How had I not noticed that all this time my own kid had, what? Learning difficulties? But, at the same time, I felt long-forgotten feelings of my own coming back, and then I knew why, and it made me even more mad at myself.
That feeling of confusion in school, when it felt like your brain was locked up and frozen and you couldn’t match up the thoughts. They didn’t have names or terms for it back then, unless you included dumb or knucklehead .
Sure, there had been frustration and embarrassments and fights and trouble, but that was all because of my old man, wasn’t it? Or was there more going on back there that I had been hiding between the beatings? It was all just a haze of mixed-up feelings and painful memories that I couldn’t fully unravel .
I guess I had hidden it well. Perhaps too well. I was a hockey head. That was all that mattered. So, it was no big deal, I just wasn’t book-smart was all. When I started playing hockey, I didn’t look back on any of it. I had my release. A world where you didn’t have to do math tests or read in front of people. I was only graded on how well I played the game, nothing else. If someone had noticed, helped me… Well, maybe I’d have seen it in Maiden before it got to this.
“Hayden, I was wondering, where does Maiden’s name come from? Is it Germanic?” She asked.
“Germanic? Um. No. It’s from the rock band.”
She paused. “You mean… Iron Maiden ?”
“Yeah.”
I noticed a small smile appear on her lips that she quickly disguised.
“Well, okay then. Let’s go get Maiden,” Sarah told me. Her features were so soft, I felt a pang in my chest when she looked at me. She made me feel different to anyone else I’d ever spent time with. Like she was really looking at you, really listening, not just thinking about what she wanted from you.
As we walked into the school, the other girl I’d nearly run over in the parking lot earlier that morning came over with Maiden.
“Hey there Champ,” I said uneasily, my heart breaking as I looked at his sad face.
Maiden stared down at his shoes, expecting trouble.
“Don’t worry, we’re gonna sort this out. Me and your teacher think we can make it better for everyone, okay?”
Maiden nodded.
“First, we gotta go make some things right and take some responsibility. Okay? ”
Sarah
Maiden looked up at me through his wet eyes.
“Are you not going to be my teacher anymore?” He asked, looking stressed and upset and still gripping tightly onto Marvin.
“Oh, I think me and your dad can figure something out, but we’ll see, okay?”
It wasn’t a “no” at least, and he nodded somberly.
“Hey, why don’t you take Marvin with you? Look after him for me, then I’ll have to see you again to get him back, won’t I?”
Now he smiled.
So did Hayden. He looked annoyingly handsome when that pig-headed man smiled at his son. I’d met a lot of shitty parents and maybe he wasn’t so bad. He obviously loved that kid like nothing else.
“Hey,” I watched Hayden rub the back of his neck with a big paw as he spoke, comforting himself, “Just wanted to say, well, y’know, thanks. For Maiden. No one’s really looked out for him before like this. Honestly, I don’t know how we’d do it, finding another school. Not again.”
He looked different now. The big, strong, belligerent hockey player was suddenly now a concerned dad. Worried and thoughtful and caring. He was still a giant jerk, but at least he showed he had some feelings.
“He’s a good kid Hayden. We’ll try and get him on the right track,” I told him.
“You promise?”
I closed my eyes and nodded sincerely. When I opened my eyes again, he looked so sad and forlorn that my instincts were to go and hug him, to tell him it would all be okay. Instead, he just said in a shy kind of way, “Thanks Sarah,” and walked away with his big slumped shoulders.
I smiled to myself. So, he did know my name.
I’d already half-turned when I heard his voice again from down the corridor, “Um, look…”
He was stood awkwardly leaning on one foot as I waited for him to say whatever it was on his mind.
“That night,” he sighed, “I know it was awful. I guess I put it on a bit. These women …” He began to roll his eyes and wave his hand at how ridiculous women were. Then he caught my glare and quickly backed down.
“What I mean is… I can’t have another puck bunny coming into our lives and messing us all up. It’s not good for Maiden.”
“Puck bunny?” I asked.
“Oh… Yeah. It’s just what some of the guys call ‘em. But, look, I didn’t know you were, well, normal . So, yeah. I’m sorry. I guess.”
“Okay, Hayden.”
It didn’t make it okay, not by a long shot. But the apology was appreciated. Maybe there was hope for the Hellraiser yet.
“Y’know, I don’t date. It’s me and Maiden and that’s it. But, you seem so nice and I feel bad. I’d be happy to take you out one time to try and make up for it.”
Wait. Did he just ask me out?
“Just to be clear, I don’t date. Just friends, okay?”
Okay, no. He definitely did not.
I should’ve told him that he didn’t deserve it and right where he could shove his offer, but I didn’t. This other side of him was so vulnerable that it felt like talking to a completely different person.
“Well, I’m not paying for you this time, okay? ”
He chuckled and relaxed a little when I didn’t just tell him to go fuck himself.
“Yeah, okay. No bidding wars, just a drink. There’s a place on Calverton where no one really bothers me. It’s not quite as upmarket as the other night, but…”
“Do they do chicken wings?”
“Um, actually they do.”
“Good,” I said, smiling at him.
He smiled back, and I hated myself that my tummy fluttered with butterflies when he did. Stupid, handsome, pig-headed Hayden Raynor.
“So, tomorrow at like six? Place is called Freddy’s.”
“Alright then, I’ll see you there. Have a good evening, Hayden Raynor.”
“You too, Sarah.”
For a moment, we stood there looking at each other. There was a discussion going on between us that neither of us could fully understand. It wasn’t with words, it was something deeper. Some universal vibrations passing between us both, our most animal of instincts assessing each other as either a potential mate or a threat. The verdict was still unclear.
“Bye,” Maiden said, breaking whatever-the-hell-that-was up.
“Bye,” I said, blushing at the strange feelings I felt rushing in my blood.