Hold Me (Ribbon Ridge #7)

Chapter 6

Chapter Six

M onday night Hayden walked into the arctic interior of The Arch and Vine in downtown Ribbon Ridge. His internal clock was still a bit off from the time change, but he’d gotten over his jet lag. With every day at home, he felt a little more connected and a little less sure about his decision to take the job in France. Maybe that was why he hadn’t yet notified Antoine.

Coming here wasn’t helping that cause either. His family’s flagship pub was like a second home. It was cozy and comfortable, welcoming like an old friend. Especially when there was an actual old friend behind the bar.

George Wilson, the bartender and an old friend of their father’s, came out from behind the bar situated in the center of the pub. “Hayden Archer, I heard you were home. Took you long enough to come see me.” He grinned, and his eyes, framed by a pair of wire-rimmed glasses, lit up like a Christmas tree.

Hayden gave him a bear hug. “Good to see you, George. I’ve been busy acclimating. And sleeping.” He’d gone to bed early Saturday night and had pretty much slept straight through yesterday, with the exception of the family dinner.

They stepped apart, and George sized him up. “I’m sorry to say it looks like France agrees with you.” He frowned. “I hope that doesn’t mean you’re staying there.”

Hayden chuckled. George had never made a secret of his desire for every Archer kid to stay in Ribbon Ridge. He’d understood why Hayden had left, but he’d also made it clear he expected Hayden to come right back home when he was finished with his internship.

“Not forever, but yes, I’m taking a job as assistant winemaker.” Hayden winced at the disappointment in the lines on George’s face. “Don’t look at me like that!”

George scowled. “You darn kids. Makes me glad I never had my own.” He shook his head, but there was a ghost of a smile haunting his mouth as he went back to the bar. “You want the usual or have you given up beer entirely now that you’re Mr. Wine Guy?”

Hayden slid onto a stool. “That’s one of the things I missed most when I was over there—the beer just isn’t as good.”

“Ha!” George pulled him a pint of Crossbow, an unfiltered wheat beer that was one of their primary brews and Hayden’s favorite. He slid the glass across the counter. “Maybe you should rethink that job.”

Hayden took a drink and closed his eyes in rapt appreciation. Maybe he should. But he supposed he was since he hadn’t actually committed yet.

George leaned against the bar and studied him. “What’s France got that we don’t?”

After one more sip, Hayden set his glass down. “A world-class winery where I’ll be the assistant winemaker.”

George waved his hand as if Hayden had just told him France had something as mundane as daylight. “We’ve got world-class wineries.”

True, but Hayden didn’t work for any of them. Winemaker jobs were hard to come by, especially for someone like him. His internship was a good resume builder, but he had a long way to go to compete with the winemakers in the Willamette Valley.

“I have a great house with a garden and an amazing view of vineyards.” He rented a 150-year-old two-story stone cottage that looked like it was straight out of a travel show. What it lacked in a few modern conveniences—a rather small fridge, no dishwasher, and the bathroom off his bedroom was a closet—it more than made up for in charm and ambience. He was living the rustic French lifestyle and loving it.

George looked unimpressed. “You have a house here, and the vineyards are close by.”

He did have a house here. The house he’d bought after college and lived in with Bex until she’d left him. Upon leaving that house himself, he’d realized it had been part of the reason he’d been unable to get over her. It reminded him of her, of them, of the plans they’d made and the future they’d lost. He planned to ask Kyle if he wanted to buy it from him since he and Maggie seemed to really love it.

Hayden took another drink of beer. “There’s a girl in France. That’s a good enough reason to go back, right? Even for you.”

George folded his arms over his chest. “Ah. Got a picture?”

Hayden pulled his phone from his pocket and found a photo of Gabrielle. She smiled in the photo, her dark eyes sparkling against the cloudy spring sky, her feet in rain boots because they’d been trudging around the vineyard surveying the bud break.

Hayden handed the phone to George. “This is Gabrielle. Her father owns the winery where I work.”

George looked at the picture then gave the phone back to Hayden. “Pretty. Can you communicate very well? I don’t remember you being fluent in French.”

Hayden laughed. “She speaks great English, actually, but I’ve become quite conversant. It’s hard not to when you live there and hear the language all day long.” In fact, it had been a bit of an adjustment coming back to English twenty-four/seven. He realized he’d started thinking in French.

“She could always move here,” George said.

Hayden shook his head. She’d never move away from her family winery, not when she was poised to inherit. And anyway, they were nowhere near that serious. They hung out, they occasionally had sex. It was extremely casual. Perfect for the lifestyle he wanted right now. “She’s locked into her family business.”

George gave him a pointed look. “So were you.”

One of the servers, a young woman Hayden didn’t recognize, which felt weird, came up to the other side of the bar. “George, can you pull a pitcher of Longbow and a pitcher of Shaft?”

“You got it, Kelsey.” George nodded toward the door behind Hayden. “Looks like your buddies are here.” He waved toward them before going back to work.

“See you later, George,” Hayden said, turning on the stool to see his man-dates for this evening: Cameron and his two younger brothers, Luke and Jamie.

Cam came forward, grinning, his familiar green eyes glinting with humor. “Well if it isn’t my favorite Frog.”

Hayden turned to Luke and Jamie. “Glad you guys could join us.”

Luke, the middle brother and two years younger than Cam and Hayden’s twenty-eight, rubbed his hand against his stubbled cheek. “Hey, I’m free every night this week. I haven’t been home for so long since I moved to Cali, and our mother is beside herself.” He lowered his voice. “She’s driving me nuts.”

Hayden chuckled, feeling his pain since his own mother was simultaneously thrilled to have him home and upset that it was only temporary. “I’m sure she’s even more excited to see Jamie since he lives even farther away.”

Jamie had been busy earning two master’s degrees from the London School of Economics over the past two years. He and Hayden had finally managed to get together for a long weekend in Paris this past spring.

“Don’t you know it,” Jamie said. “So yeah, Luke and I are more than happy to go out every night this week. We could even spend a night in Portland—maybe relive some of the fun of our Paris trip.” He winked at Hayden.

Hayden laughed. “That was an epic trip.” Two guys, Paris, good food, good drink, and a night at a dance club that Hayden could barely remember.

Cam glared at them both, but it was clearly meant in jest. “You guys are pissing me off. Next time, I’m flying over. Come on, let’s grab a booth.” Cam led them to the corner with their favorite table.

Hayden slid onto the seat next to Cam. They were barely situated when the server, Kelsey, came to the table and tossed four coasters onto the wood. “Welcome, guys. George tells me you’re regulars, and you”—she looked at Hayden—“are an Archer.”

“That’s right,” Hayden said. “And these jokers are soon to be Archers-by-marriage.”

Cam laughed. “Sort of.” He looked at Kelsey. “Our half-brother is marrying Hayden’s sister this weekend.”

“Right, that’s the big wedding that half the staff are going to.”

Cam looked at Hayden in mock distress. “What, you didn’t invite the entire staff and shut the place down?”

Hayden held up his hands. “Don’t look at me. I have nothing to do with it. I don’t even live here anymore. Besides, there’s no way we’d close the pub on a Saturday and lose all that wine-tasting traffic, let alone the people going to and from the beach.” Ribbon Ridge was a popular destination, or stop-in point, for weekend travelers from Portland and beyond.

Kelsey laughed as she tucked a lock of wavy brown hair behind her ear. “It’s fine. I’m new to town, and I don’t know very many people. It wouldn’t make sense for me to come to your sister’s wedding.”

Hayden arched a brow at Cam and gave him a look that said, see?

Cam exhaled. “All right, but is it my fault if I’d like to include an attractive young woman on the guest list?” He winked at Kelsey, who only chuckled.

“Aren’t you the smooth talker? I’ve seen you in here a couple times,” she said. “Now I know to steer clear.”

Everyone but Cam laughed. “Ouch,” Luke said. He looked at Kelsey. “Don’t judge us by our brother’s obnoxiousness. He’s never met a pretty face he hasn’t flirted with.”

Cam rolled his eyes. “You guys are totally ruining this for me.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Kelsey said. “I’ve got a boyfriend anyway. Sorry. You guys want some beer, or do you need a minute?”

Luke picked up his coaster and ran his thumb along the edge. “Pitchers of Crossbow and Longbow.”

“And nachos,” Jamie said. “I’ve missed them so much. You just can’t get decent nachos in England.”

Hayden nodded. “Or France. Onion rings too, since Walla Wallas are in season. God, I missed those last summer.”

“You got it.” Kelsey turned from the table, leaving them alone.

Hayden sat forward and set his elbows on the table like his mother had always told him not to. “Luke, what’s new in Napa? I’m sure it was tough to get away this week.”

Luke was the vineyard manager at a midsize winery. He’d worked his way up since graduating from UC Davis four years ago. “Yep, but I’ve got a good crew. I fly back Sunday night. How’s France? I was sorry I couldn’t make it out after harvest last fall. Maybe this year. Assuming you’re going back.”

Hayden shot Cam a grateful look since he’d clearly kept his mouth shut. “Yeah, I’ll head back next month. As assistant winemaker.”

Luke grinned. “Congrats.”

“Good for you,” Jamie said. “I’m mulling what to do next. Might head back to England. I’ve got a couple job offers.”

Kelsey returned with their pitchers and three pint glasses. She looked at Hayden. “I didn’t bring you a new glass. Do you want a fresh one?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.”

She left with a nod, and they served themselves.

Hayden topped off his pint. “With Jamie in England, I’ll have family on that side of the world—we can keep each other company.” He raised his glass toward Jamie.

Jamie responded in kind, and they drank.

“That blows,” Cam said morosely. “I mean, I’m happy for you, but it sucks when your best friend and your brothers live so far away.”

Jamie set his glass down on his coaster. “It’s kind of funny, if you look around the table, we could pretty much start a winery tomorrow. If we had, you know, grapes.”

“Yeah, those are kind of important,” Luke said wryly before taking a drink of beer.

Hayden looked around. Luke would be the vineyard manager, obviously, Cam would be in charge of sales, and clearly Hayden would make the wine. “What would you do, Jamie?”

Luke laughed. “Anything he damn well pleases! He’s smarter than the three of us put together.”

Not quite, but Hayden knew what he meant. Jamie was Mensa-level genius.

“I wouldn’t just want to do sales,” Cameron said, sounding far more serious than normal. “It’s kind of interesting you brought this up, Jamie. I’ve been getting tired of sales.”

“What, you want to run the business?” Luke asked.

Cameron shrugged. “Maybe. I just wish I didn’t hate accounting so much.”

“I can do that,” Jamie said. “I love numbers. And wine.” He grinned as he lifted his glass. “ And beer.”

Kelsey returned with the food, and they all dug in. It was quiet, and Hayden wondered if they were seriously pondering this idea. They needed more than just grapes; they needed a vineyard for Luke to oversee. And starting a vineyard from scratch would mean at least five years before a worthwhile vintage. Five years of investment with zero return. Hayden had a trust fund, and he’d have income from The Alex at some point, but the other three didn’t. He doubted they could afford that scenario.

Luke swiped a napkin over his mouth and took a swig of beer. “We’d need a vineyard.”

“I was just thinking that,” Cam said, answering Hayden’s question as to whether they’d all been mulling this venture. “And there’s actually a vineyard or two in the area to be had.”

“Are they decent, though?” Luke asked.

Cam plucked another onion ring from the basket. “Probably decent enough.”

Jamie looked around at all of them. “Wait, are we actually serious about this?”

Luke blew out a breath. “I’m stuck where I am. I can’t leave them in the middle of summer.”

“Well, it’s not like we’d find a working vineyard we could take over in midsummer either. But after harvest . . .” Cam shrugged. “Just something to think about, I guess.” He looked over at Hayden. “Or not, actually. We wouldn’t have a winemaker for at least two years.”

Hayden suddenly felt like a buzzkill, which was stupid. They were just shooting shit. They weren’t really serious. Even so, he had to admit that working with Luke would be a hell of a good time. He was great at vineyard management. “Would you consider coming back to Ribbon Ridge?”

Luke leaned back against the booth. “Sure. I always figured I’d end up here at some point.” He smiled. “I just keep getting jobs in Cali.”

Cam wiped his fingers on a napkin as he looked at Hayden. “The question is, would you ?”

“Sure, if the timing was right.” Which it wasn’t just now. Give him two more years in France then he could come home. Bex would probably be gone by then, and he could settle back in. Wait, this was all about Bex? No, it was more than that. It was him following his dreams and not caving in to his family’s desire for him to come home. This was his time.

“So, uh, we saw Bex at breakfast the other morning after you left,” Jamie said. “How’s that going?”

Cam had texted Hayden as soon as he’d seen her—three simple letters: WTF . Hayden had responded that it had been a surprise, but they hadn’t talked about it in depth.

Hayden shrugged. “Fine, I guess. I’ve barely seen her.” He’d expected to run into Bex at the family dinner last night since she was staying in the house, but had learned that she’d gone back to Eugene first thing Sunday morning to finish moving out of her apartment. She’d been due back today to start at the brewery, but something had tripped her up and she wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.

Cam sat back and blinked. “No shit?” He looked over at Hayden. “I can’t believe you’re cool with that.”

“Kind of have to be, don’t I?” Hayden took a drink of beer, feeling a bit uncomfortable discussing this, but refusing to acknowledge the sensation. He wasn’t going to let Bex get under his skin. Not after he’d worked so hard to finally move past her. “It’s cool, really.”

Luke finished his beer and poured another. “You were hooked on her for a long time.”

“Hooked as in past tense,” Hayden pointed out. “Her being here is . . . weird, sure. But it doesn’t affect me. I’m only here a few weeks anyway.”

Cam exhaled, and Hayden could hear the disappointment in the vocalization. “Right.”

“I guess that means the winery plan is just a pipe dream.” Jamie also sounded disappointed.

Hayden couldn’t really blame them. The entire scenario was not only possible, but damn enticing. Could he consider it? He’d rushed into telling his family he was staying in France, but acknowledged—to himself—that it had been a knee-jerk reaction to their underhandedness in hiring Bex. If that hadn’t happened, he’d be seriously thinking about this plan.

But it had happened, and Bex was here. For good. Or at least for as long as she could stand it. He gave her a year. Two, tops. He could put up with her for that long, couldn’t he? Ribbon Ridge was a small town, but surely it was big enough for both of them.

Oh, he was being stupid. This wasn’t some Hallmark Channel movie that his mom and sisters liked to watch at Christmastime. Maybe he could think about the winery for a few days at least. He figured he could tell Antoine he was taking the job after the wedding next weekend—he knew Hayden wanted to think about it for at least a week. In the meantime, he’d see how things felt.

The winery idea could be postponed anyway. Luke was tied to his job in Napa for the short term at least, and Hayden wouldn’t be gone forever. Unless this job turned into something even more phenomenal. Could he turn his back on Ribbon Ridge?

He wanted to say no, but realized he’d somehow come to learn that nothing was certain. No matter how badly you wanted it to be.

Bex let herself into the back door of the Archer house on Tuesday night. Even though she’d done it hundreds of times, it still felt strange to be doing it now. Things were different. She was different.

But how? More guarded and more tentative, she realized. When she’d been younger, she’d jumped into life here in Ribbon Ridge, into the Archer family really, and she’d been in way over her head. They shared things she’d never dream of sharing with her parents. There was a closeness she just hadn’t understood, and it had made her uncomfortable. Oh, she supposed they’d tried to include her, but she hadn’t wanted it. She hadn’t wanted that level of intimacy. Did she want it now?

It didn’t matter. She wasn’t a part of this family just because she worked for them. And was staying in their house. Good grief, she needed to find a place of her own, stat.

She trudged toward the kitchen, exhausted after driving up from Eugene that morning and working all day in the brewery. She’d stopped here briefly to drop the last of her stuff off this morning, but she’d been anxious to get to work, especially since she’d missed yesterday due to a mix-up with the storage containers.

As she rounded the corner into the kitchen, she stopped short. Emily was dishing up ice cream next to the fridge. She looked up at Bex with a warm smile. “Hi there, are you just getting in?” She glanced at the clock, which said it was after nine.

“Yes, long day. I’m wiped out.”

“I bet. Are you hungry?”

Bex’s stomach growled, answering for her.

Emily laughed softly. “There’s some leftover pasta salad and a chicken breast if you’re interested.”

Bex would’ve settled for well-seasoned cardboard. “Sounds great. But, I’ll get it. You need to eat your ice cream before it melts.”

Emily put the container back in the freezer. “I suppose I do. You want some company?”

It was a casual, simple question, but complicated just the same. Bex could say no, that she was too tired and would eat in her room. That would establish some necessary distance between her and the Archers.

But was it necessary? She wasn’t in danger of anything. She was a houseguest, nothing more. Okay, and an employee. Though, not of this woman.

“Sure.” What would be the harm? Besides, Bex liked Emily. She just didn’t know what to do with this family’s . . . inclusiveness , for lack of a better word. Bex opened the fridge and found the chicken breast and salad. She considered whether to heat the chicken up and decided she’d rather just chop it and eat it with the pasta salad. Easy and fast.

Emily sat down on the other side of the counter at the bar. “There’s some fresh lemonade in there, too.”

Of course there was. “You are the only mother in the world who could have fresh lemonade on hand four days before your daughter is getting married.”

Emily chuckled. “It’s important for everyone to stay hydrated. It’s been so hot. I hope it cools off a little before Saturday. The wedding and reception are both outside.” She ate a bite of ice cream while Bex prepped her salad and asked, “How’s your mom? Is she still in Seattle?”

Emily had never met Bex’s mother, and Bex had shared the bare minimum. She hadn’t wanted to talk about her parents’ inattention and self-absorption. Looking back, she realized she’d been embarrassed. And she still was to a certain extent.

“Yes, still in Seattle and still shilling big pharma.” Bex’s mother lived in a high-rise condo with her eight-years-younger boyfriend. “I lived up there for about eighteen months before I moved to Eugene.”

Bex had taken a job at a brewpub in Seattle thinking she and her mother might have a better relationship as adults. She’d been wrong.

“And how’d that go?” Emily’s question wasn’t just polite. There was a genuine note of concern and interest. It had taken Bex a little while to figure that out because in her experience it was a mother’s job to instruct, expect, and ignore. And even then, the instructions and expectations were pretty minimal.

“It was fine.”

“I hope you don’t mind my saying this, but I’ve always wondered why your parents never visited you here, particularly after you and Hayden moved in together.”

It wasn’t a question, but Bex couldn’t ignore the statement. She could, however, deflect and rely on the same excuse she’d given for her parents her entire life. “They’re both really busy.”

Emily spooned another bite of ice cream. “That’s too bad. And how’s your dad?”

Bex finished making her salad and poured a glass of lemonade. “He’s good.”

Her relationship with him was far better, despite his general anxiety and being a workaholic who depended on alcohol and other medicinal supplements to help him “relax.” She’d gone to live with him after her parents had divorced when she was twelve. That her mother had given full custody to her father had been upsetting at first, but every time Bex had visited her mom in Seattle, she’d seen how much better off she was in Bend. Dad ignored her too—when they’d been married they’d both ignored her, so it made sense that they would continue—but he at least made sure she had food and clothes and whatever else she needed. “He’s still working at the ER.”

Emily’s eyes flickered with surprise. “Really? I would think he’d want to take it a bit easier at some point, maybe go into private practice.”

That would require him to establish lasting relationships with patients. Bex nearly laughed. He and his girlfriend didn’t even live together, and they’d been dating for nearly a decade.

Emily shook her head. “Sorry. I don’t mean to butt in. You’ve always been very private about your family.” She gave Bex a meek smile and went back to her ice cream.

Bex stood there for a moment, her hands full with the salad bowl and the glass of lemonade. She sensed Emily felt bad for her, and she’d always hated it when people pitied her—teachers, coaches, her friends’ parents. They’d seen how alone she was and either made “supportive” comments or outright tried to intervene by including Bex in their events. It wasn’t that Bex hadn’t appreciated their efforts. She just didn’t know how not to be alone. She liked being alone. Except for the first time she wondered if being alone had somehow, somewhere become feeling lonely instead.

She’d thought about retreating upstairs with her dinner but found herself circling the bar and sitting down next to Emily. “My family is pretty messed up.”

Emily turned on the stool and looked at her. “What do you mean by ‘messed up’?”

“Well, let’s see. My mom never took me school shopping, taught me to make my own dinners when I was seven, and attended exactly one parent-teacher conference.”

Emily stared at her, but her gaze was sympathetic. “I don’t know what to say. What about your dad?”

“He was marginally better. He made sure I had school supplies and clothes to wear, even if they weren’t the most stylish.” She laughed, which she could do now. “When I was eleven, I begged him to just drop me off at the mall for a few hours so I could buy my own clothes.”

“And he let you?” Emily looked horrified.

Bex smiled at her. “It’s okay. I grew up pretty fast. I had to. And I turned out okay.” She hoped she’d turned out okay.

Emily finished her ice cream and shook her head. “I had no idea.”

Bex looked down at her food and thought she maybe should’ve eaten upstairs after all. “Yeah, I didn’t like to talk about them much. I still don’t.”

In fact, the only person she’d ever told these things to had been Hayden. He’d actually met both of her parents, accompanying her on a few trips during their relationship. It had seemed necessary to prep him for their narcissism, since his family experience was completely different. His reaction, particularly upon meeting them in person, was much the same as Emily’s.

“You turned out just fine,” Emily said firmly. “But who knows if that’s a credit to them or to you. I would venture to say it’s the latter. I was always impressed with your independence. You reminded me a lot of Tori. Not that you’re just like her,” she clarified. “There are differences.”

Yeah, Bex lacked the nurturing instinct that Tori seemed to have. Bex could take perfectly good care of herself, but that was about it. Once, she’d been alone here at the house with Alex, and he’d needed help changing his oxygen tank. He’d walked her through it, but she’d felt awkward and nervous and had accidentally let a lot of oxygen out of the tank. In the end, he’d laughed, but she’d sensed his frustration along the way. Probably because it hadn’t been the first time she’d botched something to do with him. On another occasion, she’d taken him to a doctor appointment, and she’d caught his oxygen tube in the door, creating a hole. She supposed that made her seem more klutzy than anything, but in her mind, it reinforced the idea she’d cultivated since childhood—alone was easier, better.

Bex stuffed a bite of salad in her mouth before she decided to keep oversharing.

Emily exhaled. “I’m always surprised when offspring turn out so different from their parents, but I shouldn’t be. Kyle isn’t really like either one of us, and for a while there, we wondered if we’d lost him for good.”

Bex briefly compared herself with her parents and was surprised to find she wasn’t that different. She cringed. Maybe she’d never opened herself up to the Archers because she was too self-involved. She’d been incredibly focused on chasing her own dreams, but maybe deep down she hadn’t wanted to connect with these people.

Emily smiled at her and rested her elbow on the counter. “How was today at the brewhouse?”

Grateful for the change of topic, Bex swallowed the bite of salad she’d just taken. “Great. I spent the day getting organized so I can start brewing tomorrow.”

“You must be so excited. Like Hayden when he went to France. I was there with him last summer for a couple of months. After Alex, things were difficult.”

Bex had seen Emily at Alex’s funeral. She’d been pale and withdrawn, a shell of the vibrant woman Bex had known before and nothing like the woman who was sitting here now. “Was it good for you to get away?”

Emily nodded. “Spending that time with Hayden might have saved me, actually. Watching him immerse himself in his dream was very cathartic.”

Bex felt a mixture of emotions—happiness that it must have been a good respite for both of them and discomfort because here again was the family intimacy she wasn’t used to. This was when she’d typically change the subject or leave the room. But she found she didn’t want to. The awkwardness she was feeling didn’t have to be a bad thing. Maybe it was a challenge worth fighting.

She wanted to know how Hayden had been after Alex’s death. One of the primary reasons he’d told Bex he couldn’t leave Ribbon Ridge was Alex—he hadn’t wanted to leave the brother who was stuck here. The brother everyone else had abandoned. But then Alex had gone and abandoned Hayden, and that had to have been brutal. “I imagine it must’ve been very hard for Hayden.” Bex rushed to add, “For all of you,” lest Emily think she had a special interest in Hayden. She did , but she didn’t need to advertise that.

“It was difficult for everyone in different ways.” She frowned. “I just wish he wasn’t staying there. Everyone else has come home, and now he wants to stay away?” After a pause, Emily shifted on her stool, turning toward Bex. “I hope you won’t find me overly intrusive, and of course, you don’t need to answer, but can I ask why you left exactly? It seemed to happen so quickly, and Hayden wouldn’t say much.”

Bex’s insides twisted into tight, painful knots. She and Hayden had made a pact to not tell anyone about the baby, and for her part, she never had. Apparently Hayden had done the same. Still, that hadn’t been the only reason for their breakup. “We were just immature, and we wanted different things. I wanted to see what the world had to offer away from Ribbon Ridge, and Hayden didn’t want to leave.” She smiled. “I was young and silly.” And she’d thought ultimatums would net the right result. She’d been wrong.

Emily seemed to hesitate before saying, “I always wondered . . . That is, I wondered if we maybe drove you away. I imagine we’re a bit intense, especially for someone with your background.”

Her insightfulness carved a wedge into Bex’s heart, making her feel more vulnerable than she had in years. Maybe in forever. And she wasn’t sure she wanted that—not with these people anyway. They weren’t her family, and they never would be. “Like I said, I was young and silly. You all might’ve been a little scary, but with more maturity, I think I would’ve handled it better.” Crap, what the hell did that mean? She immediately wished she could take those confusing words back. She was making it sound like she’d handled it badly when she’d really done the only thing she’d known how to do—deal with her pain alone.

Emily seemed to brighten. “Does that mean you’d change things if you could go back? Maybe you and Hayden would still be together.”

Whoa, was she hoping they’d reconcile? Bex wouldn’t have thought that was possible, hadn’t even entertained the idea. But now that she was back and her feelings for him had apparently only gone dormant instead of disappearing entirely, maybe she could think about it. “I don’t know.” She did not want to get this kind woman’s hopes up, if she did in fact have hope, and it sounded as if she did. “It doesn’t really matter since I can’t go back. None of us can.”

“I know.” Emily stood up and took her bowl around the island to rinse it before putting it in the dishwasher. She looked over at Bex with a sad smile. “I’d always hoped you and he would find your way back together. You seemed so happy.”

They had been happy. Until Bex had messed everything up by wanting to get away from Ribbon Ridge with him. The need to be away from his family—to have him to herself—had felt so important. Now, in hindsight, it seemed immature and selfish. Bex’s chest felt hollow. She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing.

Emily wiped her hands on a dishtowel. “I will gladly settle for having you back here in our lives. I hope you know how much we all love you, Bex. You’ll always be an extended part of our family.”

Emotion scalded the back of Bex’s throat. She took a long drink of lemonade to ease the ache. “Thank you.” She didn’t deserve that at all, but she’d accept the sentiment anyway.

“I’m off to read for a bit,” Emily said. “Good night!”

Bex watched her go then finished her dinner and put her dishes away. She set the dishwasher to Run and made her way upstairs. As she touched the doorknob to her room, she heard a click down the hall and turned her head. Hayden appeared in the hallway, dressed in athletic shorts and an OSU T-shirt, his hair wet from the shower. It could’ve been eight years ago at his apartment in college, the first time she’d spent the night with him. He’d showered and put on one of his favorite college tees. Not the one he was wearing now, but the image was almost identical.

Except it wasn’t eight years ago. He was different now. The angles of his face were harder, the length of his hair shorter, the breadth of his shoulders wider. He exuded a magnetism and a confidence she’d never sensed in him before. It was unbelievably sexy and literally made her weak in the knees.

She wondered if she could slip into her room without him noticing her. Ha, right. He was looking straight at her. She couldn’t have moved if she wanted to.