Chapter 11
Chapter
Eleven
The next day, Kara met Renata and their friends Ellery and Jessie for lunch in town. Since it was another bright, sunny autumn day, they took advantage of the opportunity to eat outside.
“I need a lobster roll,” Kara said. “I’ve yet to have one that’s as good as the ones here.”
“Is lobster safe during pregnancy?” Jessie asked. Her curly brown hair was piled into a messy bun, and her enviably long lashes were fully mascaraed, as always. Jessie said she felt naked without her mascara.
“Yes, thankfully. It’s actually good for me and the baby.”
“I ate it when I was pregnant,” Ellery said. “It’s hard to avoid around here. I heard someone say it’s like chicken is in other places,” Ellery added with a laugh as she tucked a strand of shoulder-length blonde hair behind her ear. Her infectious laughter had been one of the best things about Kara’s childhood.
“That’s funny and true,” Renata said. “Look at how many people we know who make a living off of lobster.”
Ellery raised her hand. “Half of our income.”
Renata raised her hand. “All of mine.”
“Representing my grandmother, uncle and brother.” Kara raised both hands to register her vote. “I need a foot, too.”
“Don’t attempt that while you’re seven months pregnant,” Renata said.
“Yeah, good call. I’d end up in the ER.”
“You’re a very cute prego,” Ellery said.
“I feel like a beached whale.”
“Nah, you’re slaying it, as always,” Jessie said. “You’re unfairly adorable.”
“I forgot how good you guys are for my ego,” Kara said.
“We’re always here,” Ellery said. “That’s never changed.”
“I know, and I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long. I hope you guys know it had nothing to do with you.”
“You did the right thing for you, but we’ve missed you,” Ellery said.
Despite her friend saying the right things, Kara picked up an undertone of… something. “I’ve missed you, too. I wanted to be here for you after Pete’s accident.” Her husband, a lobsterman, lost a finger on the job a few years ago. “Before now, that was the closest I’ve gotten to saying to hell with it and coming home.”
“I felt your support from afar. Feels like a long time ago now that he’s gotten used to it. The hardest part afterward was that he sort of lost his nerve for the job for a while.”
“It must’ve been hard for him to go back to it after such a terrible injury.”
“It was, but it’s all he knows, so what choice did he have?”
The waitress came to take their order. Kara and Renata ordered lobster rolls, while the other two got salads.
“How’re things at the inn?”
Ellery shrugged. “We’re still open, so that’s something, I guess.”
She’d struggled for years to make her bed-and-breakfast business profitable.
“I had to hire a part-time person to handle the breakfast and checkout so I could get the kids to school.”
“How’re the kids?”
“They’re getting so big. Annabelle is obsessed with cheerleading, and Keaton is all about soccer. They keep us busy.”
“Keaton scored two goals last weekend,” Jessie said.
“That’s amazing! Dan and I want to come see him play while we’re home.”
“How long will you be here?” Ellery asked.
“I’m not sure yet. It depends on what happens in the next week or so.”
“The whole situation is so shocking,” Jessie said. “No one knows what to think.”
“I sure as hell hope they know Kirby had nothing to do with whatever happened to that woman,” Renata said.
“A friend of mine was at the bar they were at Friday night,” Jessie said. “They saw Keith dancing with her and said he had his hands all over her. The cops talked to her and took her statement.”
“Dancing isn’t the same as murder,” Renata said.
“I never said it was,” Jessie retorted in a sharp tone that took Kara by surprise. “I’m sorry. I know he’s your cousin and brother, and you guys don’t want to think he’s capable of something like this.”
“He’s an asshole, not a murderer,” Renata said.
Kara had never experienced such an uncomfortable moment with her three closest childhood friends, who’d also been close to one another.
“How’s my cousin?” Ellery asked Renata.
“He’s fine.”
“Heard a rumor that you’re his plus-one to Nate’s wedding.”
“It’s just as a favor so people won’t drive him crazy asking why he’s not dating anyone.”
“So you want them to think he’s dating you?”
“No! Not at all. We’re just friends or whatever.”
“Right,” Ellery said skeptically. “Does he know that?”
“Yes, I told him it’s just a favor. Nothing else.”
“Poor Myles,” Ellery said. “He’s crazy about Renata, and everyone knows it but her.”
“He is not crazy about me,” Renata said, sounding panicked. “That’s ridiculous.”
“No, it isn’t,” Ellery said. “He’s a nice guy, and for some reason, he’s decided you’re the one he wants.”
“‘For some reason’? What the fuck does that mean?”
Ellery shrugged. “Take it however you want.”
Renata glared at Ellery. For a second, Kara worried her cousin might reach across the table to smack their friend.
“Kara? Is that you?”
Kara looked up to see her brother Kolby in his post office uniform, mailbag slung across his chest. She got up to hug him.
“I thought that was you. Spotted you from across the street. How’s it going, ladies?”
“Good,” Renata said with a forced smile that Kara noticed but Kolby wouldn’t. “Nice to see you, cousin.”
“You, too. Been too long.” He looked at Kara. “How long are you here?”
“Depends on what happens with the brothers.”
Kolby grimaced. “It’s all anyone wants to talk about. I wish I could do my route in disguise, so I don’t have to deal with all the questions.”
“Sorry you’re caught in the crossfire.”
He shrugged. “Nothing new there, right?”
“Yeah, for sure.”
“You did the right thing getting out of here. I hope you don’t have to stay for long.”
“Despite the circumstances, it’s good to see people like you and the girls. I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you, too, sis. You look cute as a prego.”
“Right. I look like a water buffalo.”
“It’s not quite that bad. Yet.”
Kara gave him a friendly punch to the arm. “Watch it, mister.”
“Let’s get together while you’re here. I’d like to meet Dan.”
“We’ll do it. Somewhere far from here where no one knows us.”
“Perfect. Call me.”
“I will.”
He surprised her with a kiss on the cheek. “Really have missed you.”
Kara hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him until now. “Same, Kolbs.” She returned to her seat and took a sip of her ice water.
“Must be weird not to see your brother for years,” Jessie said.
“It is. I’ve missed him and some of the others.” Eager to change that subject and the one they’d been on before Kolby spotted them, Kara said, “How’s Doug doing?” Jessie’s longtime boyfriend had struggled with opioid addiction.
“He’s great. Three years sober, and it seems to be sticking this time.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. You must be so happy.”
“I am,” she said. After a long silence, she said, “Did you find out what you’re having?”
“No, we decided to let it be a surprise.”
“You’d deny us our right to the cheesy gender-reveal party?” Ellery asked, smiling.
“God yes. I’m trying to picture Dan at a gender-reveal party. He’d be mocking the entire thing the way I did the engagement party Judith insisted on throwing us.” Kara shuddered. “That day turned into a disaster, so we’re all set with parties like that.”
“Was that the day the disgruntled lawyer guy slashed Dan’s hand with the knife?” Renata asked.
“Yes, that’s the one. Ironically, that man just died in the hurricane. He decided to ride it out on a boat with another guy. They were both killed.”
“That’s really sad,” Ellery said.
“It was. He has a young daughter, so it’s been rough on her and their family.”
The waitress arrived with their food as well as ketchup and vinegar for their french fries.
“I was surprised when you said you guys were going to stay on Gansett.” Jessie poked at her salad as if she wasn’t that interested in eating. “I figured Dan would want to be back in LA.”
“He’d tired of LA long before we met. He loves Gansett as much as I do.”
“What goes on there?” Ellery asked.
“Nothing and everything. We have the most amazing group of friends, most of whom are related to each other in some way. There’s one family of siblings and cousins, the McCarthys. Their family owns a marina, a hotel and a couple of event venues. Their son Grant is Dan’s best friend, which is how he ended up on Gansett.”
“Is it dead in the winter?” Renata asked.
“Yeah, it’s slow, but we stay busy. There’s always something going on. Birthday parties and celebrations of some sort or another.” Kara took a bite of delicious lobster while noticing the others were barely touching their lunches. She wanted to ask them what was wrong but was afraid of what they might say. Finally, the tension got the best of her.
“What’s going on, you guys?” Kara asked. “Why are you all so tense?”
“You’ve been gone a long time,” Jessie said without looking away from Ellery, who glared right back at her. “Things change.”
“What’s changed?”
“ Everything , Kara,” Jessie said. “Wake up. You don’t get to come home after years away and act like nothing happened here while you were gone.”
Stung by the sharp comment, Kara said, “I’m not acting like anything.”
“You’ve found a whole new life that doesn’t include us,” Ellery said gently. “That kind of hurts.”
“That’s not true! You guys know why I left. You’re the ones who told me to go!”
“It never occurred to us that you’d never come back,” Jessie said.
Kara sat back against her chair, her heart aching with the realization that her actions had hurt her closest friends at home. “I… I’m sorry. I just… I couldn’t come back here. I just couldn’t.”
“There’s a lot more here than Kelly and Matt,” Ellery said.
“I know that.”
“You guys,” Renata said, “lighten up. She did what was needed to get through a tough situation.”
“That was ages ago,” Jessie said. “She’s happily married now to a rock-star lawyer and has been for years. It’s just a little hurtful that we haven’t seen you in all this time.”
Kara was too stunned to speak. She’d gone out of her way to stay in close touch with all three of them, texting, calling and FaceTiming regularly. In fact, she’d done most of the heavy lifting in their relationships while she was away. If she didn’t reach out, she didn’t hear much from Jessie or Ellery. She’d chalked it up to everyone being busy. It had never occurred to her that they resented her for being gone so long.
They picked at their lunches and coexisted in awkward silence until the waitress returned with their check, which Renata grabbed.
“I’ve got this,” she said.
“Thank you,” the others said.
Kara stood. “It was really nice to see you guys. I’m sorry if I hurt you by staying away. Take care.” She walked away with her head held high even as her heart ached with sadness but not regret. There’d never be regrets for doing what it took to survive the betrayal of her sister and boyfriend, not to mention her parents, who threw the pair a big fancy wedding, as if Kara’s feelings didn’t matter in the least.
Only when she was in Buster’s truck did she allow the tears to spill down her cheeks.
Renata knocked on the passenger door window. “Open up.”
Kara didn’t want to, but she leaned over anyway to flip the manual lock on the old truck.
Renata got in and shut the door. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be.”
“They shouldn’t have made you feel guilty for surviving the ultimate betrayal and finding a new life for yourself.”
Kara looked over at her cousin. “Do you feel the same way they do? That I let you down by leaving and never coming back?”
“Not really. I mean, it’s not like you left because of me or them. You haven’t seen much of Bertha either. It’s not just us.”
“I didn’t have much chance to prepare myself for this trip home, to think about how things would’ve changed while I was away.”
“Be honest, you rarely think about this place. Why would you? You’ve got a whole new life with a great guy who worships the ground you walk on. What good will looking backward do you at this point?”
“It pains me to think the three of you ever thought you weren’t still important to me, especially you.”
“I’ve always known where I stood with you, but I’ve missed you like hell since you left.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“There’s so much bullshit in this place for both of us. I mean, if our fathers saw us sitting here together, they’d be pissed. How fucked up is that? You’d think two brothers would be thrilled to see their daughters as best friends, but not our fathers.”
“We’ve never let that get in our way.”
“No, we haven’t, but it’s no surprise to me that you checked out of here and never looked back. I’d do the same thing if I could.”
“Why can’t you?”
Renata leaned her head back against the seat. “Because I’m not brave like you are. I couldn’t just pick up and move somewhere I’ve never been the way you did.”
Kara laughed. “I was freaking out about every aspect of that move, but as scary as it was to leave everything familiar, staying wasn’t an option. I couldn’t bear to live anywhere near them, to risk running into them every time I went somewhere. It was worse for me to stay than to go, and not for nothing, already having a job made everything possible.”
“I understand everything you did and why you did it. Don’t let Jessie and Ellery have you second-guessing anything. They’re just butt-hurt that you got to leave here, and they never did.”
“I didn’t think they wanted to. What’s up with Jessie and Doug? She didn’t seem too thrilled that he’s doing well.”
“She is thrilled about that, believe me, but I wonder sometimes if she wants out of the relationship and is afraid she’ll set back his recovery if she makes a move.”
“Whoa. Really? I can’t imagine one of them without the other.”
“I know. They’ve been together for fourteen years. Since senior year of high school.”
“Why does she want out?”
“I mean I could be reading it all wrong, but the addiction years took a heavy toll on both of them, but it was super hard on her to remember why she loved him so much when he was basically destroying everything they’d worked so hard to have. They have two mortgages on their house that they’ll be lucky to ever pay off, and he’s different after the long struggle.”
“How so?”
“He’s very focused on helping other people kick their addictions and less focused on her and their life together. She says he has far more time for his addict friends than he does for her.”
“Has she said anything to him?”
“They’ve been in therapy for years. If you ask me, she was done with him five years ago but hasn’t had the heart to end it. Imagine what it’d be like for her if he relapsed after she breaks up with him.”
“That’s an awful burden for her to carry.”
“It is, and we’ve suggested having the therapist there for the discussion, and she’s considered that but can’t seem to bring herself to make it happen.”
“How do you even begin a conversation like that?”
“I don’t know, but it’s not getting easier as more time goes by.”
“Would it be a total surprise to him?”
“I think so. I saw him about a month ago, and he didn’t say anything to me about her being unhappy. I think he would if he sensed it, because he has before.”
“Which means she’s gotten really good at hiding it.”
“Yeah, exactly, or he’s so tuned out he’s not seeing the forest for the trees right in front of him.”
“It’s made more complicated by the fact that they bought her parents’ house when her parents retired to Florida. She can’t afford to buy him out, so they’d have to sell it if they break up, and she’s done a ton of work to it.”
“Wow, I had no idea she was dealing with all that.”
“I think despite everything, she still loves him like she always did, so who knows? Maybe they’ll work it out.”
“I hope whatever happens makes her happy, and I’m sorry I wasn’t here for her during a rough time.”
Renata looked over at her. “I know you’ve made a solid attempt to stay in touch, but they’re right when they say a lot of real life went on since you left, and things are different now.”
“Of course I expected that.”
“But you didn’t think it would be weird with us.”
“No, I didn’t,” Kara said, sighing. “I feel like I’ve let you all down or something without meaning to.”
“Don’t take that on. It’s possible there’s a hint of jealousy running through it. Not only did you find a whole new life for yourself, but you also landed yourself a hotshot husband.”
“I don’t think of him that way.”
“Well, the rest of the world does. His career has been the stuff of legend. Everyone knows who he is.”
“I’m incredibly proud of all his accomplishments, but to me, he’s just Dan, the love of my life.”
“Which is wonderful. I greatly enjoyed picturing Kelly’s reaction to hearing you were with him and going to marry him.”
Kara snorted out a laugh. “You vindictive bitch.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy that just as much.”
“Maybe just a little.”
“Liar.”
“You gotta hear what went down between him and Matt in court yesterday.”
“Do tell.”
They laughed like fools after Kara told her the story.
Kara looked over at her beloved cousin. “I’m really sorry if my absence made you or the girls think I don’t care about you all as much as I always have.”
“We know that. People change. They grow up and move on. It happens. You shouldn’t ever apologize or feel bad for doing what was best for you. Jessie and Ellery probably feel a bit stuck. To them, you’ve been off on a grand adventure, while everything stayed the same for them. Of course, that has nothing at all to do with you.”
“It sure felt like it did back at the restaurant.”
“Nah, you’re just a symptom of a larger problem for them.”
“Isn’t Ellery happy with Pete and the kids?”
“His injury has been a lot. It took a long time for him to get back up to speed, and they took a huge financial hit while he was out of work. They’re still digging out of that hole, and the inn is a constant source of strain for them. I’ve suggested she sell it, but it was her grandmother’s home, so there’s a lot of emotion attached to that decision.”
“I hate that everything is so hard for them.”
“I do, too, but they’ve got to figure it out. Try not to be hurt by what they said. You’re not the source of their unhappiness.”
“Thank you for coming after me and providing that perspective.”
“No problem.”
“So you’re really going to that wedding with Myles?”
“Don’t remind me.”