Chapter 16
Chapter
Sixteen
“Male lobsters have two penises,” Kara said, giggling when Dan waggled his brows.
“The better to love their ladies with.”
“Except they get things done in about eight seconds,” Bertha said.
“That’s no way to keep the ladies happy,” Dan said. “Although, if I had two?—”
“Do not finish that thought in front of my grandmother and uncle.”
Buster released a genuine laugh that pleased Dan no end. “Typical guy.”
“You know it,” Kara said.
“She loves the one I do have. Just thought I’d mention that.”
“You need to quit before you get grounded, Torrington.”
Buster opened the door to a compartment, and a foul smell hit Dan the likes of which he’d never experienced—and never wanted to again. “What in the actual hell is that?”
“Bait,” Buster said, his lips twisting into his version of a grin.
“Oh my God.” It was all he could do not to heave over the side as Buster brought a fetid-smelling bait bag to his mother so she could put it in the trap.
Dan looked back at Kara, who was laughing her ass off. “You could’ve warned me!”
“And missed you turning green? No way.”
It took a Herculean effort not to embarrass himself by tossing his cookies as the smell mixed with the motion of the ocean turned his stomach and threatened to bring the delicious egg sandwich Bertha had made for him right back up. He focused on the sight of eightysomething Bertha hauling a heavy lobster trap like it was weightless as Buster prepared to return it to the water.
“Stand back,” Bertha said. “This is the dangerous part.”
As the trap was sent back to the deep, Dan saw why it was hazardous as the whole thing happened in a whir of movement.
“The most injuries and deaths happen with setting traps,” Bertha said. “We lose someone every couple of years.”
“That’s how Ellery’s husband, Pete, lost a finger. Got it stuck in the rigging at the worst possible time.”
Dan winced as he imagined such a gruesome injury.
“He’s doing much better these days,” Bertha said. “Saw him just a few days ago on the water.”
“Ellery said he’s doing great.”
“It took him some time to figure out how to work without the index finger on his dominant hand, but he’s got it now,” Bertha said.
“I’m so relieved for them. She was afraid for a time that he wouldn’t be able to go back to work at all.”
“You should have the girls and their families over for dinner while you’re home,” Bertha said as she returned to the helm to move on to the next trap. “We can do a lobster bake in the yard.”
“Oh, that’d be fun. I want them to meet Dan in person. I found out they’re kind of annoyed with me for staying away so long.”
“Seriously?” Bertha asked, eyes wide.
“That was my question, too,” Dan said.
Bertha frowned. “They were there. They know exactly why you stayed gone. I can’t believe they’d hold that against you. I sure as hell don’t.”
“Well, maybe you should, because they’re right that I let two people who did me dirty keep me away from all the other people I love.”
“That’s not what happened,” Bertha said fiercely. “You ventured into the world, found yourself a whole new life and went out of your way to keep in close touch with all of us here. You don’t owe anyone anything, Kara, so don’t let them lay a guilt trip on you.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Dan said.
“While I appreciate both of you,” Kara said, “I’m going to come home more often to see my loved ones here. And I want all of you to visit us, too.”
“Good luck getting her to leave Maine,” Buster said.
“I left Maine to meet them in Boston,” Bertha said.
“Once in fifteen years.”
She made a face at her son, and he made the same face back at her.
Dan laughed as the boat heaved while it steamed along the coast. As long as they kept that bait bin closed, he was thoroughly enjoying this.
At lunchtime, Bertha produced a cooler full of sandwiches, fruit, chips, drinks and cookies.
Bertha’s tuna salad brought back a thousand memories of the best days of Kara’s young life. She’d gone fishing with Bertha and Buster as often as she could, often doing homework while they fished.
“When did you make this amazing lunch?” Dan asked as he ate standing up. He was beginning to get his sea legs, but since the bait bin was still a problem, he ate tentatively.
“I was up at four thirty, like every other day. I was hoping to convince you two to come along, so I made extra.”
The pace of their day was relentless. Even between stops, Buster never stopped working while Bertha navigated the tricky coastline, pointing out rocks that would tear the bottom out of the boat if you didn’t know they were there.
Bertha told Dan that the steady stream of VHF chatter from others out fishing was indicative of a good day on the water. “The radio tends to go quiet on the not-so-good days.”
“I’m in awe of you two and how hard you work. Being a lawyer is easy compared to this.”
Bertha let out a bark of laughter. “Any job is easy compared to this, but we all have our lanes.”
“Do you ever think about retiring?”
Bertha glanced at Kara, who filled him in. “That’s a swear word in her world.”
“I’d be bored senseless,” Bertha said. “I hope I go to my final reward sitting right here at the helm of the boat that was custom-built just for me with one of the few heads you’ll find on a lobster boat. A girl has her needs.”
“They don’t have bathrooms on them?” Dan asked.
“Nah,” Kara said. “Guys can use their one penis to go off the side. Women often use a bucket.”
“That’s what I did on my father’s boat,” Bertha said. “I hated that, so when I commissioned this boat, I insisted on a head.”
Dan’s phone rang with a call from a TV station. “Dan Torrington.”
“This is Kate Bannister from WLBZ, the NBC affiliate in Bangor.”
“What can I do for you, Ms. Bannister?”
“We’re doing a story about the Ballard sons being arrested for murder and wondered if you’d be willing to provide an on-camera interview to go with our story.”
“I’m currently on a lobster boat. When were you looking to do it?”
“By four at the latest, to make our six o’clock newscast.”
“Hang on a second.” He put the phone aside. “What time will we be back in?”
“You tell me when you need to be, and we’ll make it happen.”
“Three thirty?”
“Done.”
Into the phone, he said, “I can talk at four if you send me a link to connect.” He gave her his email address.
“Talk to you then. Thank you.”
“No problem.”
“Is my baby gonna be on TV?” Kara asked.
“Yep. Does that make you hot?”
“No.”
“She’s ruthless,” Dan said to Bertha.
“She has to be around you.”
“I’m glad you see what I deal with, B.”
“I see it.”
“I hope you also see how blissfully happy I make her, and with just one penis, no less.”
Bertha cackled with laughter.
“Please don’t laugh at him. You’ll just encourage him.”
“I’m funny as well as sexy.”
“And not at all full of yourself,” Bertha said with an affectionate smile.
It meant everything to Kara that Bertha liked Dan so much that she teased him the way she would one of her own kids or grandkids.
“Not one bit.”
Buster opened the bait bin, and Dan’s expression shifted immediately from pleased with himself to a shade of green that would make the Grinch envious.
“Uh-oh,” Kara said as Dan rushed to the side of the boat to barf.
She glanced at Bertha, who was trying hard to contain her laughter.
“At least he’s puking instead of me,” Kara said as she took another bite of her sandwich. She felt a thousand times better since she’d been rehydrated at the hospital.
“Poor guy,” Bertha said. “That smell isn’t for the faint of heart.”
“No, it isn’t, but it’s funny how it has no impact on me.”
“You’re smell blind to it like we are. People from away can’t handle it.”
“Away?” Dan asked when he returned, looking pale but no longer green. “Is that where I’m from?”
“Anyone who isn’t from the Downeast coast is from away,” Kara said.
“Even if they’re from another part of Maine?”
“Especially then,” Bertha said with a laugh.
Work was so busy that Renata had had no time to fret about the disturbing new vibe with Myles since she’d agreed to attend the wedding with him. Judging by the dopey grins he directed her way every chance he got, that’d been a huge mistake. When she’d arrived that morning, a coffee fixed the way she liked it with oat milk and froth had been waiting for her, along with the lemon Danish she’d once described as her kryptonite.
Damn him.
She made the Danish last all morning, taking little bites as she fulfilled orders, fielded calls from customers and suppliers and printed postage labels.
If she kept super busy, maybe she’d think about something other than having to find a dress for the wedding or how she needed a haircut and style to look her best. Not that she cared about looking her best for him, but there’d be other people she knew at the wedding. The least she could do for them was get a manicure, for crying out loud.
But what if he thought she’d gone to all that trouble for him?
A searing pain sliced through her finger as she suffered yet another paper cut from the stiff parchment used for the company brochures. She hated those things.
“Son of a bitch!”
She was bleeding all over the place.
Myles rushed out of his office to check on her. “What’s wrong?”
“Those goddamned brochures you like so much got me again. I’m going to make a workers’ comp claim.”
He led her to the sink in the bathroom and held her finger under the cold water.
She stood there like a stooge for a full minute before she realized he was holding her hand and standing very close to her. “That’s okay.” Withdrawing her hand, she added, “I’m fine.”
“Do you need the ER?”
“Har-har. That’s the third time this week I’ve been lacerated by those stupid brochures. I want to throw them all away.”
He retrieved a first aid kit from one of the cabinets over the work area where she processed shipments and wrapped a bandage around her index finger. “We’ll use different paper when we reprint them. We can’t have you getting injured on the job.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Do you need to go home?”
“Stop passive-aggressively making fun of me while also being nice.”
He sputtered with laughter. “What the hell does that mean?”
In a singsong voice, she said, “‘Do you need the ER? Do you need to go home?’”
“Those were very serious questions.”
“Right.”
“Paper cuts can be deadly if sepsis sets in.”
She glared at him and went back to her desk. “Bite me.”
“When and where?”
“Shut up, Myles, and go back to work.”
“Yes, dear.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Sorry, dear.”
Renata was more annoyed than ever as she took another bite of the delicious pastry and then cleaned up the bloody mess on her desk. As she got back to what she’d been doing before the lacerating event, she was furious with him and herself most of all. She never should’ve agreed to that wedding. It had given him hope for something that wasn’t going to happen between them no matter how much he wanted it to.
There was still time to back out, she thought.
Coward.
What? My own brain is not allowed to call me names!
What’re you afraid of? A good time with a nice guy who treats you well?
Who also happens to be my boss and a source of daily irritation.
He’s a nice guy who’s always been good to you.
That doesn’t mean I want to date him!
With all those other prospects you’ve got knocking down the door.
SHUT UP. I don’t want prospects. I like being alone.
Do you, though? What were you thinking the other night after you saw Kara glowing with happiness and pregnancy? That maybe you’ve missed out on something.
I did not think that!
Now you’re going to lie to yourself? What’s the point of that?
I hate you.
No, you don’t.
I really do.
“Renata!”
She nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Myles’s louder-than-usual voice. “What?”
“The phone’s ringing. Do you want me to get it?”
“No, sorry. I’ve got it.”
“Jeez, where were you checked out to?”
“Nowhere.” She picked up the desk extension and helped the customer place an online order. Their older clients struggled with the technology, so she had regulars who called in their orders. When she ended the call, Myles was still there.
“Are you sure you’re okay? I didn’t mean to make fun of your injury.”
“Yes, you did, but I’m fine. And PS, I’d make fun of you if you freaked out over a paper cut.”
“That’s good to know.”
“What goes around comes around.”
He flashed a warm grin that she would’ve found sexy on anyone else. “I look forward to you doing your worst.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Enjoy me being a bitch to you.”
“Your bitchiness has become my favorite part of the day.”
“What level of masochist does that make you?”
“Highest level, baby. Highest level.”
With that astonishing statement, he turned and went back to his office, whistling as he went.
Renata stood there for a full minute, staring at his office door, before she snapped out of it with one thought front and center in her mind: She had to find a way out of going to that wedding with him.