Homecoming (Downeast #1)

Chapter 19

Chapter

Nineteen

Holy shit. Renata hadn’t expected that. “I don’t dislike you.”

“Oh. You don’t?”

“Of course I don’t.”

“Huh, well, I thought you did.”

Now she felt like a total asshole for making him think that. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

He groaned. “If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that one.”

“People say that to you?”

“ Women say that to me. Along with, ‘You’re a really nice guy, but you’re not the nice guy for me.’ Inevitably, they end up with some douchebag who treats them like shit, and they lap up every bit of the unending drama for some reason I can’t fathom.” He gestured to the TV where the Housewives were engaged in yet another bitter dispute. “Why do people want to live that way?”

“I… uh… I don’t know, but I’m sorry you’ve been treated like that.”

“It’s fine. I’d rather be dismissed for being a nice guy than loved for being an asshole, you know?”

She nodded, intrigued by the insight and… Oh crap, was she attracted to him? No way. That wasn’t possible. Was it?

“I know what our problem is.”

She took a sip of the shake, trying to buy herself a minute to formulate a reply. “I wasn’t aware we had a problem.”

“We do have one.”

Why did her stomach suddenly feel weird? It was probably the lactose. What else could it be? “Are you going to fill me in on what that is?”

“I want to know why you’re so different toward me since my dad retired and I took over. Before he left, I thought we were friends and maybe on the way to being more than that, but now you treat me like I’m radioactive or something.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do, Renata. We’re not friends like we used to be.”

“When we’d sneak off for a liquid lunch when we were supposed to be doing deliveries?”

“Among other things. I thought we had something going, or the start of something anyway, but now… I miss my friend.”

“We’re still friends.”

“No, we’re not. Tell me something…”

“What?”

“Am I different since I took over for my dad? Am I an asshole boss or something?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Then why do you treat me so differently now?”

“Because you’re my boss now.”

“So what? We can still do liquid lunches and doughnut Fridays and happy hour and all the other stuff we used to do.”

“No, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

Renata sipped the delicious shake while trying to decide how much she wanted to share with him. “Do you know why my parents got divorced?”

“No, I don’t.”

“My dad was a partner at Ballard Boat Works before he and my uncle had their big falling-out. I’m sure you know about that. Everyone does.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard about it.”

“Well, my mom… She was my dad’s executive assistant at the company. That’s how they met. They dated in secret for years before they shocked everyone by getting married. In fact, that’s where the trouble with my uncle began. He had an issue with his brother dating one of the assistants and keeping it a secret for years. He thought it made them look bad to the other employees. Needless to say, my dad didn’t appreciate my uncle’s input, but he took it to heart. My mother felt that when the brothers had their falling-out, he secretly blamed her for being the root cause. She said nothing was ever the same between her and my dad after that. They limped along for another ten years before he left when I was in high school.”

“That must’ve been really tough for you.”

“By then, I was relieved. It wasn’t easy to live with them and all their dysfunction, but my mom… She was heartbroken over it all. She felt wronged. She still does, which is why they can’t even be in the same room. She might claw his eyes out.”

“And she ties all that heartache back to marrying her boss, right?”

“Something like that.”

“I see.”

“What do you see?”

“Why you feel like we can’t be friends like we used to be or date or anything like that. You’re afraid you’ll end up in a similar situation to your mom.”

“I’m not afraid of any such thing! I’m nothing like her.”

“Then you’re okay with us dating?”

“I never said that.”

“I’d better go. Got an early breakfast tomorrow with the Lobstermen’s Association.”

He was the treasurer of the organization and rarely missed a meeting.

“Oh, um, sure.” Renata felt oddly deflated by the sudden end to a conversation that’d gone places she hadn’t expected. “Thank you again for the shake and for coming by to check on me.”

“No problem. We take on-the-job injuries very seriously at Williams Lobsters & More.”

Renata laughed. “This barely counts as an injury.”

“It counts. I appreciate everything you do to make things run so smoothly. I hope you know how essential you are to the company—and to me.”

“I, uh… That’s nice to hear. Thanks.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t already know that.”

“I knew, but it’s still nice to hear.”

“I’ll have to tell you more often, then.” He got up, zipped the jacket he’d never removed and headed for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Renata walked him to the door, tightening the belt of her robe as she went. She felt upside down and inside out. “Myles…”

He turned. “Yes, Renata?”

“You shouldn’t let anyone make you feel shitty for being a nice guy.”

“Well, it’s not like I let them. It just kind of happens. Nice guys finish last, right?”

“Not always.” All at once, it was urgent to her that he know there was nothing wrong with being nice. “Sometimes they come out on top.” The words were no sooner out of her mouth than the double meaning registered.

The slight lift of his lips indicated that hadn’t gotten by him.

“That’d be nice. Someday maybe. Sleep well and call me if you need anything. Any time.”

Renata only nodded because he’d rendered her speechless with the way he looked at her as he said those words.

She watched him walk to his truck as every cell in her body seemed fully tuned in to… something.

Him.

She was tuned in to him, and judging by the tingling in some important places, she was definitely attracted to him.

To Myles .

Her boss .

Shit.

Kara had settled into bed to read while Dan finished working.

Her phone buzzed with a text from Renata. PROBLEM. I think I might be attracted to Myles—MY BOSS—and I’m freaking the F out over here.

Kara called her. “What happened?”

Renata told her about the visit from Myles.

“Has he come over before?”

“Never! I didn’t even think he knew where I lived.”

“Well, he’d have that info through work, no?”

“I guess so, but it’s definitely unprecedented for him to come by here unannounced.”

“And all because of a paper cut. That’s so cute, Ren.”

“It was one hell of a paper cut. I lost a lot of blood.”

“And he brought you a mocha shake.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean… What an asshole.”

“Shut up! You’re supposed to be telling me all the reasons why this is a terrible idea. When do women ever benefit from dating their bosses or anyone at work?”

“This isn’t exactly a corporate monolith you’re talking about. It’s a small family business, and no one would think anything of you dating him.”

“Right. Everyone would be talking about it, which would freak me out.”

“One thing I learned after everything that happened to me was the opinions of other people are none of my business.”

“Huh, well, that’s rather profound.”

“It’s true, and once you start to live by that principle, life becomes a lot simpler. You strive to make yourself and your loved ones happy and don’t worry about the ones who were never going to be your people anyway.”

“When did you get so wise?”

“After life kicked me in the teeth and forced me to wise up. People will talk. That’s their problem, not yours. The big question is, do you like him?”

“I don’t want to like him.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Renata’s moan made Kara laugh.

“This reminds me of when I first realized Dan was seriously interested in me. I did everything I could to pretend it wasn’t happening.”

“And look at where that got you—married and knocked up.”

“Don’t forget blissfully happy.”

“Why did you try to fend him off?”

“I told you how overwhelming he was to me at first, right? Because I wasn’t in a good headspace to even consider being with someone else after everything here. But there he was, insistent and funny and handsome and incorrigible.”

Dan came to the bedroom door. “Are you talking about me, love?”

“Go away. I’m talking to my cousin.”

Rather than go, he came in and stretched out next to her on the bed. “Please, carry on. We were just getting to the good stuff.”

Renata laughed. “He is funny, I’ll give him that.”

“The worst thing you can do is tell him that.”

“What’d she say? That I’m a sexy devil or funny as hell or?—”

Kara used her favorite tactic to shut him up and pinched his lips closed.

“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full over there.”

“What’re you going to do about Myles?”

“I don’t know, but what you said helped, about other people and their opinions. Sometimes I dream about getting out of here and going somewhere where I could be totally anonymous. I could do whatever I wanted, and no one would care.”

“You can do that here, Ren. You just have to decide you don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of you. Give it a try. It’s very liberating.”

Dan waggled his brows and fanned his face. “Hot as F. ”

“On that note,” Renata said, laughing, “I’m going to bed. I’ve got the usual sugar headache from the shake, but it was so worth it.”

“That’s been your favorite thing for as long as I can remember. I think it’s so sweet that Myles brought you one.”

“It was sweet.”

“Be nice to him. If you’re not feeling it, let him down easy.”

“That’s the problem. I might be feeling it, and I have no idea what to do about that.”

“Ever since you and Chris broke up, I’ve been hoping you might find someone who appreciates what a special, wonderful person you are. It sounds to me as if Myles might be that person.”

“I’m not sure I can bear to go down that road again with anyone. The last time was so brutal.”

“Yes, it was, but to hold Myles or anyone else accountable for what someone else did is super unfair to him and to yourself. Not everyone is a Chris or a Matt. Sometimes there’s a Dan or a Myles in the mix who show you a different way.”

Dan put his hand on top of hers and gave it a squeeze.

“You’re right. Of course you are, but isn’t it just easier to be alone than to risk all that bullshit happening again?”

Kara looked at Dan as she said, “It’s easier, but it’s not better. When it’s the right person, it’s well worth the risk.”

“Thanks for listening. I appreciate you.”

“Love you, kid.”

“Love you, too.”

Kara put her phone back on the charger.

“Let’s keep talking about all the ways you’re ridiculously happy after taking a chance on a handsome rogue who drove you to drink with his sexy wit and handsome face.”

“Do you ever get tired of listening to the sound of your own voice?”

He thought about that for a second. “Nope.”

Kara laughed. “Windbag.”

“You love me.”

“For some strange reason, I do.”

“Thank goodness for that.” He leaned in to kiss her. “I heard from Walter, who heard from a friend of a friend that the Islander is writing a big story about your family.”

Kara grimaced.

“I wasn’t sure if I should tell you that before bedtime, but I figured you’d want to know.”

“Yeah, I do want to know. Did you tell my dad?”

“He already knew. They called him for a comment, but he chose not to participate.”

“When is it going to be published?”

“Online in the morning and in this week’s paper.”

“I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised. It’s big news around here that two of the Ballard Boat Works sons are being held on murder charges. Anything our family does is big news due to how many people the company employs.”

“I’d like to see the company if we get the chance. I’m curious as to what it looks like.”

“We can go by there.”

“I’d also like to see the house where you were raised, meet your other siblings and check out Acadia.”

“All of which is doable.” Kara gnawed on her bottom lip. “Do you think the Kelly and Matt saga will be part of this story?”

“Could be, but I really hope not.”

“I keep telling myself I did nothing wrong, but it feels so sordid to have that come up again when it happened years ago.”

“I heard you say something to Renata about other people’s opinions…” He held out his arm to bring her closer. “Get over here. I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“Closer.”

Kara snuggled up to him, resting her head on his chest and listening to the strong, steady beat of his heart, which always brought her comfort. That heart beat only for her, and knowing that, believing in it, had changed everything for her. “I meant what I said to Renata. It was worth all the risk. You know that, right?”

“Despite your forked tongue and jabs at my overinflated ego, I do know that.”

Kara snorted with laughter. “Those are just my attempts to keep you somewhat humble.”

“No one can humble me like you do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I like to think about those early days on Gansett when you were driving me mad, showing up every day in those ridiculous loafers, paying me for rides in the launch just so you could hang out with me.”

“That was one of my better strategies. You were madder than a wet hen over me wanting to just ride around on the boat with no destination in mind.”

“Because that’s not how it works. I’m supposed to take you somewhere.”

“You took me somewhere, all right. Remember that day Kelly and Matt showed up on the island, and you took me all the way to paradise right there in the middle of the Great Salt Pond?”

“Shush. The walls are thin. Bertha will hear you.”

He rocked with silent laughter.

“That was the day I fell in love with you, when you came running to warn me that they were there and intended to ambush me.”

“I couldn’t let that happen.”

“You know what the best part of that day was?”

“It wasn’t sex on the boat?”

“That was the second-best part.”

“Huh. That’s kind of insulting.”

“Hush up and listen. The best part was having time to prepare myself to tell her off.”

“And you did so— epically , I might add.”

“I would’ve frozen up if I hadn’t had that time to figure out how to handle her. You bought me time, and that made all the difference. Any time I’m forced to think about her or Matt or what they did, I think about that day and instantly feel better about it all. You made that possible for me.”

“Don’t forget I also gave you the opportunity for her to realize—every day of her life—that you married a far superior lawyer to the schmo she ended up with.”

Kara giggled. “That, too. I can’t believe there was a time that I thought my life was over because Matt Gallagher decided he loved Kelly and not me.”

“My lucky day.”

“It was mine, too. I didn’t see that at the time, but I sure as hell see it now.”

“Same thing with the day I caught my fiancée doing it with the best man right before the wedding that didn’t happen. It’s so funny how I thought I was going to spend my whole life with her, and now she never crosses my mind.”

“Because you’re too busy thinking about me and baby Dylan.”

“That’s right. You two are my whole heart and soul.” He rested his hand on her belly. “I can’t wait for him to get here.”

“I can’t either. Two more months.”

“I hope we’re out of here long before then. I want you home where you belong before the baby comes.”

“I hope so, too.”

“I’m doing everything I can to make that happen.”

“I know, and I appreciate it. We all do.”

“Anything for you, my love. Anything at all.”