Hook, Line and Single

Chapter 23

23

‘Oh, thank God. You made it!’ Before I even have a chance to put down my drink, Sam has sprinted over to my sun lounger and enveloped me in a massive hug. ‘I’ve been so worried,’ she murmurs into my hair, holding me so tightly it’s actually a bit of a struggle to breathe.

‘Relax,’ I tell her with a smile. ‘We’re absolutely fine.’

‘I’ve been such a terrible friend,’ she continues, ignoring me. ‘I dragged you onto this cruise, then abandoned you before leaving you to fend for yourself in a foreign country. I’m so, so sorry, Ruby. How can I make it up to you?’

I gently detach myself so I can look her in the eyes. She does look genuinely contrite and, for a moment, I’m tempted to milk the situation a little, but I can’t do that to her.

‘I wasn’t left to fend for myself,’ I tell her gently. ‘Cameron was there. And, although I wouldn’t have chosen things to turn out the way they did, we have had quite an adventure.’

‘Of course he was.’ Sam turns to Cameron, looking at him as if he’s some kind of comic book hero. ‘Thank you so much for looking after Ruby, Cameron.’

Cameron smiles. ‘We looked after each other,’ he says diplomatically.

‘That isn’t strictly true,’ I correct him. ‘It was Cameron who got the chief of police on side in Barcelona, and he’s taken care of all the arrangements since, some of which were more surprising than others.’ I smile at him and he grins back. He knows exactly what I’m talking about, and I’m enjoying the connection between us.

‘Hey, guys, great to see you back!’ The American accent is familiar, and I look up to see Brad and Gail coming over from the bar. ‘You gave us all quite the fright. Barry will be particularly pleased to see you. I don’t think he’s ever lost a couple before, and he hasn’t really known what to do with himself.’

‘Barry’s going to have to wait in line,’ Sam tells him. ‘Cameron, is it OK if I borrow Ruby for a while?’

‘Umm, I don’t think you need my permission, Sam. It’s up to Ruby.’

I’m torn. On one hand, I’d quite like to stay here with Cameron, who’s frankly been a much better friend to me on this cruise than Sam has. I’m sure Brad and Gail are going to want a blow-by-blow account as well, and part of me feels it would be a lot easier if we stuck together during this phase, so we can limit the number of times we have to tell the story. On the other hand, I can tell I’m not going to get any peace until I’ve given Sam what she wants.

‘Will you be OK?’ I ask Cameron.

‘I’ll be fine,’ he says with a laugh. ‘Go.’

Sam doesn’t need telling twice and practically drags me to my cabin, closing the door firmly behind us.

‘Start from the beginning and don’t leave out a single detail,’ she commands.

She listens open mouthed as I tell her about my phone being stolen and Cameron using his police ID to jump the queue at the police station.

‘Don’t you think that’s a little suss?’ she asks when I explain how Alejandro got my phone back. ‘I mean, if this guy is in the habit of stealing from tourists, he should be in jail, shouldn’t he? Sounds like this Alejandro guy is in cahoots.’

‘I don’t think so,’ I tell her. ‘What’s in it for him, for starters? He seemed genuinely concerned for the welfare of the boy and his mother. Anyway, he couldn’t do enough for us, even insisting we stayed the night with him and his family.’

Sam looks horrified. ‘I’m sorry. You’ve only known this guy for five minutes and you stayed the night with him? He could have been a kidnapper!’

‘Again, unlikely. One, he was the chief of police?—’

‘That could have been a fake. I’m still not ruling out him being in cahoots with the phone thieves.’

‘Hard to pull off, given that we literally met him in his office, in the police station, and all the other people there seemed to know who he was. And two, before you interrupted, what would he gain by kidnapping us? We’re hardly ransom material.’

‘Hmm. OK, maybe he’s legit. I still think it’s risky though. Didn’t your mother ever warn you about going off with strangers?’

‘Referring you back to the part where he’s the chief of police. Anyway, we met his wife and children, had a lovely meal and then stayed in their spare room. She took us to the airport the next morning. They were all really nice, actually. You wouldn’t get hospitality like that in England. It was quite shaming in a way.’

‘Whoa, back up.’

I sigh. ‘What now? Are you going to suggest that Gabriela, his wife, was also some kind of master criminal? I know, maybe she was smuggling drugs in her baby’s nappy. Or she was going to use us as drug mules, before she realised that we didn’t have any luggage to conceal the gear in. Or, just possibly, she was also a nice person who took pity on a couple of strangers like her husband did.’

Sam flaps her hand dismissively. ‘No, I’m sure she was lovely. I’m more interested in the spare room.’

‘Why? It was perfectly ordinary.’

‘And you both slept in there? I take it he was on a couch, or the floor or something.’

‘No. We shared the bed. We are grown-ups.’

‘You shared a bed. With Cameron,’ she repeats slowly.

‘Nothing happened.’ I’ve decided not to tell her about erection-gate.

‘Mm-hm. It’s still a big thing. When was the last time you shared a bed with a guy?’

‘Move on, Sam. There’s nothing to see here.’

‘Fine. So you platonically shared a bed with Cameron and then this lovely lady, who isn’t a criminal and definitely didn’t want to use the two of you as drugs mules, drove you to the airport. Then what?’

‘Then we flew to Nice and got a taxi to Cannes, just in time to see the ship leaving without us for the second time.’

‘Didn’t you get my message?’

‘Yes, but we were already on our way, so it made sense to continue to the port and see if anything could be done.’

‘And did you pick up any random strangers to spend the night with?’

‘We did meet some people, but we stayed in a hotel.’

‘Separate rooms or same room?’

‘You’re getting a bit one-tracked here, Sam. Same room, if you must know. It was cheaper.’

‘And the people you met?’

I bite my lip. Do I tell her about the nudist beach or not? At the time, I was certain I was going to tell her, because it’s the last thing she’d have thought me capable of and I wanted to see her face. Now, with her trying to tease out a sexualised interpretation of my every move, I’m not so sure. And we haven’t even got to the aftersun lotion story yet, which I would actually appreciate her view on. After hesitating for a moment, I decide to take the plunge and fill her in. To my delight, the expression on her face makes it completely worth it.

‘No!’ she exclaims when I’ve told her all about meeting Philippe and Claudine, and my skinny dip in the sea.

‘What are you doing?’ I ask as she begins rummaging through the pillows on the bed.

‘I’m looking for my friend Ruby. It’s clear that you’re some kind of impostor.’

‘Knock it off,’ I say, laughing.

‘Seriously, though. Skinny dipping? Prancing round in the nude with people you’ve only just met?’

‘I can assure you there wasn’t any prancing. We had a swim, we sat and chatted, and we got horribly sunburned.’ I pull down my top a little to show her.

‘Ouch.’

‘Yeah.’ I steel myself and prepare to tell her the bit of the story that I know is going to send her off the deep end. ‘And this is where things got a bit weird. I’d value your opinion, actually.’

I can see her mentally shifting gear into serious mode. ‘OK. I’m listening,’ she says.

‘So, like I said, we got burned.’

‘Yes, I can see that.’

‘When we got back to the hotel, we doused ourselves with aftersun lotion.’

‘Sensible. I’d have done the same.’

‘I offered to do Cameron’s back, so he lay face down on the bed and I started rubbing the ointment into him. I, umm…’

‘Yes?’

‘I liked it. Rubbing the ointment.’

She narrows her eyes. ‘Did you like it, or did you like it?’

‘I liked it. And then, when he started rubbing the ointment into me… Dear God.’

‘You liked that too.’

‘It was all I could do not to raise my hips off the bed and offer myself to him.’

‘So why didn’t you?’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘You were obviously feeling it, and I’m going to hazard a guess and say he was too. Why not go with the flow?’

‘You have no idea how tempting that idea was in the moment, but I had just enough presence of mind to realise that it would have complicated everything massively.’

‘Not necessarily. As long as you were both clear that it was a one-night stand, no harm would have been done.’

‘I can see that, but I’m not a one-night stand person, Sam, and I’m pretty sure Cameron isn’t either.’

‘He’s a man, and there’s one thing all men have in common. When they get an erection, all the blood from their brain is redirected to their penis. They completely lose the power of rational thought.’

‘All the more reason not to get carried away. Thinking of which, how’s Robin?’

‘He’s OK. Stop trying to change the subject. What are you going to do about this thing between you and Cameron?’

‘I’m not sure I’d call it a thing, and I’m certainly not going to do anything about it. He’s a friend, no more.’

‘Do you fancy him?’

‘He’s good looking.’

‘That’s not what I asked. I’ve fancied men who looked like the inside of a bin in my time. The two things don’t necessarily correlate.’

‘Fine. I fancy him, but I’m still not going to do anything about it.’

She studies me for what feels like an age, and I can feel the heat spreading across my chest and up my neck as she gazes at me.

‘OK,’ she says eventually. ‘I don’t get it, but it’s your choice.’

‘That’s it? No shining a light in my face and acting like the Spanish Inquisition?’

‘I know you, remember? I’ve pushed as far as I can and I can see you’re shutting down.’

I sigh with relief. ‘Tell me about Robin.’ Although I wanted her opinion, she hasn’t said the things I wanted to hear, so distracting her will hopefully get me off the hook.

‘What do you want to know? We’re in a good place. He’s invited me to stay for the weekend at the end of the month.’

Now it’s my turn to let my jaw drop. ‘So you’re taking it into the real world? What about him being a vicar?’

‘It’s not ideal, but I get why he didn’t tell me to begin with. If I’d known he was a vicar from the outset, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near him, and I’d have missed out on getting to know what a wonderful, funny and kind person he is. The vicar thing is just something we have to work around.’

‘What about the whole “no sex before marriage” gig? How are you going to cope with that?’

She smiles. ‘Without going into too much detail, it turns out there’s quite a lot you can do without actually having sex. It’s surprisingly fulfilling. I don’t think either of us feels short changed at the moment.’ She lowers her voice. ‘Truth be told, I’ve had more orgasms with Robin in the last couple of days than I’ve had with anyone before.’

‘Is that allowed?’

‘It’s probably not strictly in the spirit of the law, but no penetration is taking place. Well, not with a penis, anyway.’

‘What if you get carried away?’

‘Robin’s very matter-of-fact about that. His view is that he’d prefer us not to have actual sex before we get married, but he’s also honest about the fact that he’s a man and not a virgin. He had girlfriends before he felt the call to ordination, so this isn’t his first rodeo. We’ve agreed to take joint responsibility to try not to let it happen, but not to beat ourselves up if it does.’

‘Wait. You’re talking about marriage already?’

She laughs. ‘Only as a construct. Don’t worry, I haven’t hurled myself off the deep end just yet. Anyway, the good news for you is that I’ve blown him out for tomorrow so I can spend the day with you, just the two of us, like we were supposed to before I turned into a selfish cow.’

‘You’re not a selfish cow. You just fall hard when you fall.’

She smiles. ‘Thank you, but I think this holiday has shown me that I kind of am. However, I’m resolved to do better, so where shall we go? What does it say in your little book of plans?’

I smile at her, but the truth is that I’m conflicted. I was expecting to spend the day with Cameron tomorrow, but I’m not sure how to tell her that without sounding ungrateful. Turning down Robin would have been a big thing for her.

‘What?’ she asks, frowning.

‘Sorry?’

‘Something’s off. Are you still mad at me?’

‘Not at all. It’s just…’

Her face clears. ‘You want to spend the day with Cameron, the guy you’re secretly desperate to hump but are determined to be just friends with.’

‘Do you mind?’

She laughs. ‘Not at all. Can I make one request though?’

‘Of course.’ At the moment, I’d happily give her anything for being so understanding.

‘Can Robin and I tag along?’

‘Hmm. Can I interrogate him about his intentions towards my best friend?’

‘If you must.’

I grin. ‘Then you’d be most welcome.’