Hope’s Highest Bidders

2. Ben

2

BEN

I pull at the collar of my shirt and then rotate my shoulders. Everything about tonight is uncomfortable. The dress pants, the buttoned-up shirt, the too-tight jacket that constricts every movement I try to make, and the mass of people that are milling around. I’ve been to this event every year for the last four years, and I’ve never seen a turnout like this one.

I make my way through the crowd, and my skin crawls because I can feel all eyes are on me. No doubt they are either wondering what the missing brother is doing here or they’re trying to figure out who the bearded mystery man is that obviously doesn’t fit in. I do my best to ignore it all and make my way to the bar. I’m sure that we have supplied the alcohol for tonight, and it’s tempting to order an Old Fashioned made with our Moonshine bourbon, but I plan on driving out of here tonight, and I know if I have one drink, my sister Elana will use that as an excuse to take my keys and try to keep me here. No thank you.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks me.

“Just a water, please.”

His eyebrows lift in surprise, but he nods as he puts the glass under the spout and fills it. “Thanks,” I tell him as I gulp it down. I hate having my back to the crowd, but this is the best way to keep conversation limited.

I look at my watch and am counting down the time until I get to leave. I promised my sister I’d come, but as soon as I make an appearance and talk to Elana, I will be leaving.

I hear my brother before I see him. “Well, well, well. He does come off the mountain. What’s up, little brother?”

I grit my jaw and turn in my seat. I may be his younger brother, but I’m at least four inches taller and have a good thirty pounds on him. I stand up, wanting to tower over him. “What’s up, ‘little’ brother?”

He laughs, causing me to do the same. I don’t resist when he reaches for me, and I wrap him up in a bear hug, lifting him off his feet.

When I set him on the ground, he’s straightening his hair and then his tie. “Thanks for coming, Ben. It’s all Elana’s been talking about.”

I nod and sit back down in the chair. “Sure. I don’t think I can stay long but… I’m here.” I blow out a breath and clench my hands together to stop myself from pulling at my collar or removing my jacket altogether.

Edward crosses his arms over his chest. “So you can’t stay long? Something pressing up on the mountain you just have to get back to?”

I almost look at my watch. On the way here, I was thinking about how long it would be before Edward gave me shit about not coming off the mountain. Unable to resist, I glance at the time. “I’ve been here exactly four minutes, Edward. I think that’s a record for you busting my balls.”

He laughs heartily. “Some things never change, brother.”

I roll my eyes and stick my thumb over my shoulder. “Can I get you a drink?”

He comes to sit next to me. “Nope. I am planning to stay sober—until after my speech, at least. That is, unless you’d like to do the talking this year. I don’t mind at all.”

I sit with my arms over my chest and my back ramrod straight. “No thanks. Not interested.”

Edward shrugs. I’m sure he felt he had to give it a shot, but at least it doesn’t appear he had his hopes up that I’d be filling in for him or anything. “Admit it, you love this kind of thing.”

I gesture around the room, but my brother doesn’t look anywhere but at me. The only indication he’s listening to me is the slight tilt of his head. He opens his mouth and closes it again.

It’s tempting to walk out of here, but there’s a part of me that feels guilty, as if I’ve deserted my brother and sister to handle everything while I hide out on the mountain. “Spit it out. Go ahead and get it off your chest. I can handle it.”

He leans back as if this is just a random conversation, but I know my big brother. He’s planned this conversation out and probably even practiced it in the mirror. I don’t rush him. I sit quietly and watch him, waiting for him to say what’s on his mind.

He rubs his hand across his clean-shaven jaw. “Look, I know we all have our strengths. We each serve the company in different ways.”

“Fuck, Eddie. I know I’m not pulling my weight.”

He slides to the edge of his seat. “Yes you are, man. That’s not what I’m saying, just hear me out. The truth is you hiding out on that mountain has turned into the best possible scenario for the business. The research you’ve done on stills and everything you do on the actual production is amazing. Would I rather have you down here helping me with the legal, accounting, public relations part of it? Hell, yeah! But I know you’re best suited where you’re at.”

I’m not understanding. “Oookay… so what’s the problem then?”

He puts one hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “If you were happy up on that mountain, doing your thing, it would be one thing. But you’re not. You’re up there stewing, letting the past eat you alive?—”

I interrupt him. “I’m not going to talk about this here.”

He releases me, and his shoulders slump. “Fine. All I’m saying is forget the guilt. Your contribution to the business hasn’t gone unnoticed, and you are exactly where we need you to be.”

He wants to say more, and I hold my breath waiting for it. When he doesn’t continue, I nod my head. “Got it, man. And I appreciate it. I love being up on the mountain. I really do. But yeah, there’s shit I need to work through. I’ll uh, do better.”

His eyes pop out of his head. I know that’s probably the last thing he expected me to say. I’ve never admitted that I have a problem, and maybe this is the very first step on this long journey of getting over my shit.

I stand up and stuff my hands into my jacket pockets. “All right, enough bullshit. You have a speech to give, and I need some air.”

I jerk my head toward one of the back entrances, and Edward nods his head. “If I don’t see you later, thanks for coming, and I’ll see you tomorrow at our weekly meeting to do a recap of tonight.”

I nod and almost get away before he stops me. “And Ben, just because you are on a video call, it is a business meeting.”

His nose is scrunched up, and he shakes his head. “Wear a damn shirt.”

I laugh. I probably shouldn’t because he’s right, but yeah, I laugh. “Sure thing, big brother. Shirt. Got it.”

I wave bye to him and make my way through the people laughing, drinking, and talking. When you’re by yourself 99 percent of the time, events like this are a little overwhelming. Just a quick breath of air, then I’ll find Elana, and then I'll get to head back up my mountain.