33. Cami
Cami
“ W here’s Whit? Is she here yet?”
I don’t know who Beck is talking to but I guess it’s the guy who tried to stop me from getting in to Nat’s office until he recognized me.
“They’re pulling into the underground dock area now.”
“Is there media outside the arena?” Nat asks, her GM hat firmly in place.
“No, but Ray thought it was better to be safe than sorry. They have Chase Hawkins’s sisters as well.”
“Good. I’ll let him know I have them here.”
“He was heading to pick up Candace after a run.” Beck’s voice rumbles in his chest beneath my ear.
“I know. I’ll message him the change of plans.”
It’s hard to reconcile my friend in a maternal role, but that’s what Nat is to Chase’s sisters. Or maybe it’s more of a big sister role. Kind of like my relationship with Whitney.
“You need to tell her.” I tip my head back to look up at Beck, I can’t bring myself to let him go yet. “She needs to hear it from you.”
“I will. But I want you with me.”
“I think it might be better if it’s just you two first. I’ll be there for her after. You too. You know that, but this is about the two of you before it’s about the three of us.”
I hate sending him off to do this on his own, hate not being about to offer Whitney my support while she hears this news but I don’t think it’s my place, even if I’m entrenched in their lives now.
They were a family first. And what she’s about to learn doesn’t involve me.
“Okay. If you think that’s best.” Beck’s gaze goes over my head. “Is there a room I can use to speak to Whit privately?”
“Sure, how about the owner’s suite, Cami can wait out?—”
The door bursts open, Whitney barreling in, tears streaming down her face, and I know it has to be almost a replay of my own entry.
“Whit.” “Whitney.”
Beck and I speak and move as one, both of us heading for the teenager crying her eyes out.
She’s a blubbering mess when Beck pulls her into him, her words inaudible as she sobs around them.
It takes a few minutes for her to calm down and during that time Nat does what Nat does best and directs everyone else out of the room. When the door closes quietly behind them, I glance up at Beck and indicate my intention to leave with a tip of my head.
The shake of his has me frowning and staying in place.
“Whitbee, baby, I need you to listen to me. I need to tell you something?—”
“I know,” Whitney wails. “It was me! I told her and she told them !”
Beck’s confused gaze meets mine but I’m no help. I haven’t a clue what she’s talking about.
“Told who what, baby?” Beck asks.
“The counselor. At school. She’s not supposed to tell anyone what we talk about.”
I feel Beck go rigid. And if my mind is putting together the pieces correctly, then father and daughter have now both been betrayed by the same authoritative position.
“Whitney, what did you tell the counselor?” The coldness in Beck’s voice sends a shiver down my spine.
“Who you really are. Who I think my mom was.” The sobs overtake her again and my gaze locks with Beck’s.
“I thought it was you,” he murmurs over the top of Whitney’s head. “When Natalie first asked me about Catrina, I instantly blamed you.”
His words send a shaft of pain through my chest so sharp I take a step back.
“It was knee-jerk. I know, in my head, my heart, you’d never do that.”
I hear his words, the sincerity in them, but it isn’t enough to snuff out the hurt they inflict. “You thought I’d told the media. That I’d revealed your secret to the world…”
“No. Not really. I was panicking, not thinking.”
I hold up a hand. The calmness that comes over me is numbing.
“I’ll leave you two alone. Talk to Whitney, get everything straightened out with her. You have an hour at the most to make a decision on what to do about the segment that’s going live tonight. If you want to get in front of it, you need to do it sooner than later.”
I don’t know how I walk out without breaking down. Don’t know where I’m going or what I’ll do, I just know I need to get away from Beckett.
Oakley, Natalie, and Blake meet me in the hallway and one look at my face telegraphs my need for privacy. Oakley, the best of best friends, grabs my arm and pulls me toward her office.
Once enclosed in the quiet room with the three people who know more about me than anyone else, I let my emotions free.
It was already an emotional afternoon, the call from Dad, the hunt and barter to get the segment on Beckett and Whitney trashed, the fear for Whitney, now Beckett’s confession .
I’ve been a tearful mess for the last hour at least and with the ache in my chest, the hollow feeling in my belly, I doubt the tears will stop any time soon.
“What do you need other than tissues?” Nat asks.
“N-n-nothing.”
All I just need is to let it out.
Let go of the hurt the man I love inflicted with a few words, with his first instinctual reaction to a situation he had every right to react to.
I have to believe instinct and habit collided. That his words are true and he doesn’t believe I’d ever reveal information about him or Whitney to the media. To anyone.
“He was panicking. He knew it wasn’t you,” Oakley explains. “He’s just used to going it alone with Whitney, you’re one of the first people in his life to protect her the way he does. He doesn’t expect it.”
Oakley’s insight offers some relief. I know she’s right and once I get over the hurt, get the emotions of today behind me, I’ll be able to look at it more clearly.
Until then I’m going to have a good cry—something I’ve rarely done—and purge all the pain.
“I know.” I sniff back a sob. “I just need.”
“To cry.” Blake wraps her arm around me. “You cry until you can’t anymore and we’ll be right here with you.”
“Th-thanks.”
I don’t know how long I sit with my best friends to either side of me when Nat pushes a bunch of tissues into my hand. “I need to go out there. I have to check on things and get others in place. Let the rest of the entire org know we’re on a media blackout.”
“Okay.”
“Do you have a plan to deal with this?”
Glancing up, I look at her.
She smiles. “I know you. You were running scenarios in your head from the moment you found out what was happening.”
Nodding, I use the tissues to wipe my face. “Give me a minute. But basically I think we should do what we did when Whitney outed herself. Share their story first.”
“As much as necessary for the vultures to leave them alone.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll get the owner’s suite set up for it. Can you get it aired?”
“Dad’s on his way. He’s got every station he owns on alert. I think he’s planning to blast it as far as he can the second it’s recorded.”
“Smart.”
“I was going to ask but he beat me to it when he offered.” Blowing my nose to clear the clog from my voice, I watch Nat tap away at her phone with a frown on her face.
“I need to get out there. One of the guards says someone in the media is trying to get in?—”
“Oh!” I bounce to my feet. “It might be Deb. I called her.”
Laughing, Nat says, “It’s not Deb. I’m pretty sure it’s your dad.”
“They won’t let him in?”
“I told them to lock the place down.” She grins. “This is the reason I worked so hard to convince Ray to work exclusively with the Rogues.”
“I need to clean up.” I glance at Oakley. “Can I use the?—”
“Don’t even ask, woman. You own the team, the executive restroom is for all of us to use whenever we need.” She looks at my clothes. “I might have something for you to wear. You can’t interview them in that.”
“I wasn’t planning?—”
“I want you to do it.”
Beck’s voice has me spinning to face the door. “Beckett?—”
“If we’re going on camera, Whit and I want you across from us.”
“But—”
“No buts. We want you with us. We’re okay with telling the world our story if you’re beside us. ”
“Beck.” My gaze moves to the young woman behind him, and I can’t keep my emotions from my voice or my eyes. “Whitney.”
In a second she’s across the room in my arms, and the tears I thought had stopped return for another round.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Shh…it’s okay,” I soothe her while my watery gaze locks on her father.
“I didn’t mean?—”
“I know, Whitney. And it’s okay. You should have been able to talk to the school counselor without worry.”
The scoff-laugh she emits put a smile on my face. “Yeah, except my history proves they can’t be trusted.”
“Don’t label all of them by the actions of a few.” Beck tips his chin in acknowledgment of my subtle dig of his initial reaction to me months ago.
“I found a folder in Dad’s desk. It had everything about what Dad went through. The court documents don’t have his name on it, but it wasn’t hard to put it all together and work out who he was, who I am.”
“And you needed a sounding board to process it.”
“Yes.”
“I understand why you did what you did but I’m going to tell you something I want you to remember in the future. My mom is a lawyer, you hire her for a dime and you can tell her anything you want and she’ll never repeat it to anyone. She’s a vault.”
“But—”
Pulling back, I bring my hands up to frame her face. “No. Listen to me. She’s your person. No matter when, no matter what, she’s who you go to.”
“She’s right, Whitney.”
We turn to find Mom and Dad have joined us.
Turning to Beckett, Mom asks, “You give her an allowance?”
“Yes.”
“Can she get an advance on next months?”
“Ah… ”
Holding out her hand, Mom demands, “Give me a dime.”
“I don’t have?—”
“I do.” Whitney pulls free of my hold and rummages in her pocket. “Here. It’s all I’ve got.”
Mom accepts the dollar bill and offers her hand to Whitney. “Consider me on retainer as your legal counsel.”
“I’ve my own lawyer?”
“Shake her hand, young lady, because you’re going to need someone to direct all the inquiries that are bound to head your way after today,” Dad says.
His words have my gaze darting to Beck. “You should have someone too.”
“Dana, you up for another client?”
“Speaking of that.” Nat steps forward. “I’ve got something I want to talk to you about, Dana.”
"Uh-oh, looks like my wife is about to work for the Rogues.”
Oakley slips her arm through Dad’s. “We do like to keep it in the family.”
“I hate to break this love-fest up but we’ve got things to do.” Blake grabs my hand. “First, we need to get everyone cleaned up so we don’t look like we’ve been dragged across the ice and forced to talk about how Bex and Whitney are a miracle born from a deplorable situation.”
“I wouldn’t call it deplorable,” Beck objects.
“Maybe not but what it was doesn’t matter. What matters is where the two of you are now.”
Blake’s words are true and give me an idea.
“What if we talk more about the steps you took in order to give yourself and Whitney the best life? We can talk about Mama Dot and her hand in getting you through those first years, the joy of making the NHL at nineteen and knowing you were reaching the goals you set to give your daughter the life she deserves.”
“Gloss over Catrina’s part?” Beck asks.
“Yes. We can add small details. Enough for those interested in more to be able to find it.”
“They can look it up themselves.”
“Exactly.”
“Can we do some kind of disclaimer that we won’t be answering any other questions after this interview?”
“I think so, but you’ll get them regardless.”
“I figured.” Beck takes a deep breath. “Okay, let’s get this done so we can go home.”
The hand he holds out proves the same as everything else about Beck, impossible for me to resist.
Using my hand to pull me in, he wraps his arms around me and presses his face into the side of my hair where he murmurs, “And by home, I mean our home. I know this isn’t the right place or time, but I realized something when you left us in Natalie’s office. Something I need you to know. I love you.”
“Beck.”
“I don’t know when it happened, it feels like it’s always been there, but watching you walk away and not knowing if you’d come back is something I never want to see again.”
“I was coming back.”
“I couldn’t be sure of that. I want to be sure of that. I know this is quick and possibly reckless, but I want to marry you. I want to come home to you and Whit and any other kids we have.”
Jerking back I lock my gaze on his. “You want more kids?”
“Yeah, I loved having Whit. And my biggest regret is not having more, giving her siblings.”
“You… I…” Blinking rapidly, I try to stop the tears from falling. Again. “I don’t know what to say.”
He grins. “Say yes.”
“Yes?”
He arches an eyebrow.
“Yes to all of it. Marriage. Coming home to us. Babies.” The last word comes out a squeak. Oh shit. Closing my eyes I try to remember the last time…
Holy shit!
“Ah, Beck, can we go somewhere else to talk for a second? ”
He eyes me before grabbing my hand and tugging me toward the door. “Give us a minute.”
With no explanation to those around us, we leave and head down the hall to Nat’s office. Once inside, Beck closes and locks the door behind us.
Turning me to face him, he grabs both my hands and locks his eyes with mine. “Tell me.”
“I think I might be pregnant.”
“You”—he shakes his head. “Come again?”
“I’m not a crier and I’ve done nothing but cry today and now that I’m thinking about it and you mentioned babies and the last few weeks, I’ve noticed certain pants don’t fit but I can’t be sure.”
“Cam. Take a breath.” Bringing our joined hands to his chest, he lowers his forehead to mine. “If you are, I’ll be thrilled. If you aren’t and you want to be, we’ll try to make it happen.”
“I don’t know what I want. I’ve honestly never thought about kids until just now.”
“Okay. And how do you feel about it now you are thinking about it?”
“Excited?”
“Is that a question?”
“I…” Taking a deep breath I try to pull my thoughts together. “It would be a little piece of you and me.”
“He or she would.”
“Would you really be okay doing it again?”
“I love Whit, loved it when she was little too. I miss those days and I’m not old, I won’t be working after this contract so?—”
“What?”
With a smile he explains. “When I signed the deal to play for the Rogues, I knew it would be my last years in the NHL. I’m retiring when my contract is up.”
“Does Nat know that?” I whisper.
“No. Why are we whispering?” he asks in an equally quiet voice .
“In case she’s listening.” I look around. “She’s probably got cameras in here too.”
A burst of laughter shakes Beck’s chest. “You know I’ve never laughed with a woman the way I do you.”
“Whitney is a woman,” I point out.
“Whit’s my kid, laughing with her is a given. But you…” He shakes his head. “You give me something I’ve never had before.”
“What?”
“A life.”
“You’ve always had a life, Beck. You’ve had a successful career and raised a daughter.”
“Yeah, I had a life, but with you, Whit and I are finally living it.”