Hot Set (Art of Love #2)

12. Alex

Chapter twelve

Alex

“ W ell, if you really want to figure out this sexuality thing, there’s only one place to go,” Seth drawled.

I looked up from packing away my make-up and glanced around to be sure no one was paying attention. Just because I wasn’t ashamed of this didn’t mean I wanted everyone to know about it. Heck, I wasn’t even sure what it was. Being gay? Being bi?

“A pride parade?” I asked.

“Well, no ,” Seth replied. “I mean, I guess you could go there, but I was thinking more like a gay bar. You know—where you might actually pick someone up.”

“But I already know who I—um—would want to pick up,” I said.

I closed my case and headed toward the door. Seth followed me, a sly expression on his face. “Sure,” he said, “But I just think you might feel more comfortable if you really have the gay experience.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s no singular gay experience.”

“Obviously, there isn’t,” Seth said, “But it’s a different environment when you’re surrounded by people who have that shared sexuality with you. Trust me on that. You can put away all your make-up, hop on my motorcycle, and we’ll be gone. I know a great place. They know me by name there.”

“Is that good or bad?” I asked.

Maybe Seth’s idea wasn’t so bad, though. Maybe I really wasn’t gay. Maybe I’d just had some…burst of feeling or something. Or maybe it was the opposite. Maybe I really was gay, and I only liked Brandon because he was so attractive. It might be nice to be around some people who’d already figured it all out.

“You know what? I’ll go.”

“Great! I promise not to break the speed limit while you’re with me,” Seth replied cheerily.

That was quite an accomplishment for him. I’d seen Seth drive into the set lot like a bat with all the forces of Hell pursuing him, but as long-suffering Bioncia had informed me, there was no point in trying to rein in Seth’s inner need for speed.

My make-up locked safely in my car, I climbed behind Seth on his motorcycle and took the offered spare helmet. True to his word, Seth kept to the speed limit, and he didn’t try any tricks, proving he was capable of being a perfectly respectable driver and didn’t try anything funny. Finally, Seth pulled his bike to a stop before a bar. It looked vaguely like a Hollywood medieval tavern would, complete with a swinging wooden sign, declaring the place to be Seville .

“This must be new,” I said.

“It is,” Seth replied. “It’s only been here a couple of months.”

“And yet you’ve got a reputation here already?”

Seth winked. “Don’t judge me,” he said. “It’s not my fault that I have a way with—well— everyone .”

Seth sauntered in like he owned the place. I smiled behind him. It felt a bit like I was caught in a rip current, being pulled along by Seth’s sheer attempts to charm.

Seth headed right for the bar. I followed and edged onto a seat beside him. I’d been to plenty of bars before, but I’d never been to a gay bar. Not even with my friends (I guess because they weren’t gay, ya think?). I wondered vaguely if I belonged here. I couldn’t help but feel a sharp impulse that I really didn’t .

“Want a beer?” Seth asked. “I’ll pay.”

“That’s okay,” I replied. “I can buy my own. Brandon does pay me pretty well.”

Seth shrugged.

“Hey, Seth! And—Alex, right?”

I turned around, surprised to see Mark. There was a man with him with dark blue hair and shockingly green eyes.

“That’s new!” Seth exclaimed, pointing at the man’s blue hair.

“And you are just as dramatic as I remember,” the man said.

“Oh, Alex, this is Logan. I told you about him,” Mark said, “The evil cat man.”

“Hey!” Logan exclaimed. “My cats are angels.”

“One of your angels barfed on my sketchbook,” Mark deadpanned.

“So, I’ll buy you a new one,” Logan said. “Just rip the cover off.”

Mark shook his head, his face somewhere between fond and frustrated. “I didn’t realize you two—” Mark said, pointing between Seth and Logan, “—knew each other.”

“Oh, we used to bang a lot,” Seth said shamelessly.

“What a shock,” Mark said sarcastically.

“That was undergrad, though,” Logan replied. “We were in a production of Hamlet .”

I ordered a beer and sat behind them, hoping someone would bring me back into the conversation, although that seemed unlikely at this point. Seth had already sauntered down memory lane, engaged in a competition over whether he or Logan had the dirtiest blackmail. It would be rude to interrupt them.

I edged past Mark and slipped from my seat. He glanced at me, somewhat surprised.

“I’m just walking around a bit,” I said. “Scoping out the restroom. You know. I’ve never really been to a place like this before. I’ll be back for my beer.”

“You’d better hurry if you don’t want Seth to finish it off first,” Logan said. ”He comes up empty and grabs whatever is unattended.”

Mark shook his head. Seth grinned.

At least they were having fun, and this place wasn’t too bad. It was enormous. I drifted into another room, with a live band. There had to be at least one more room somewhere. I could hear pool balls clicking together. I paused before the band, watching as they launched into some serious rock. I nodded along with the beat and covertly glanced around. Somehow, I’d imagined a gay bar being a vastly different world, but it really wasn’t. Obviously, there were people blatantly making out with members of the same sex, but somehow, I’d expected something more.

I made it to the restroom, looking like any other restroom, and headed back, searching for the guys.

This whole thing was bizarre. I was bizarre. Everyone here looked so comfortable with who and what they were. And me? I was still working it out. Maybe I shouldn’t have drifted away from the others. Maybe I should’ve stayed and taken over the conversation. I could’ve asked if Seth, Mark, or Logan ever felt this way. Like they were found and lost all at the same time.

“Do you come here a lot?”

It took me a second to realize someone was talking to me. I turned and found a man with long, stick-straight blond hair and blue eyes. He was absurdly tall and broad-shouldered. If I took a step closer, I’d have to crane my neck just to meet his eyes.

“Hi,” I said. “No. First time. My friend met up with his ex, so I thought I’d leave them to reminisce.”

The man whistled between his teeth. “Connor,” he said.

“Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you. How about I buy you a drink?”

Buy me a drink? I heard the words, understood them, then instead of a reasonable response, I just stared at Connor like he’d lost his mind. I already had a drink back at the table with the guys, assuming Seth hadn’t already drunk it. But the question seemed deeper and more profound somehow. Was there any harm in Connor buying me a drink? Not really. And he was handsome. I could see myself talking to Connor a little more. It wasn’t as if I was actually in a relationship with anyone.

But even the thought of letting this man buy me a drink felt like a betrayal of Brandon. It was as if I’d set my sights on Brandon, and now, no one or nothing would be good enough. It was as if I owed Brandon some loyalty he hadn’t even realized I’d given him.

“Sorry,” I replied, shaking my head. “I have someone I’m interested in.”

Another whistle, followed by a nod. “Lucky man.”

“I’m the lucky one,” I replied.

Assuming Brandon and I could even have a relationship.

“I should get back to my friends,” I said, hoping to leave before things got out of control.

Connor shrugged and smiled benignly. No harm, no foul; it seemed. He walked away and disappeared into the crowd. For a few seconds, I lingered and watched the way he’d gone. Then, I returned to the other room, taking my time. As my eyes scanned the bar for Seth, Mark, or even Logan, thoughts whirled around my head.

Forget whatever label that described me; for now, anyway. I definitely liked Brandon. That much was clear to me. And an even bolder thought followed; I’d liked having sex with Brandon, too, and wouldn’t mind having it again.

Definitely wouldn’t mind.

If I showed up at the set tomorrow and he wanted to have sex, I’d probably jump at the chance. I’d jump at the chance to do a lot of things with Brandon; I’m not that particular.

But I had also applied for a job—not just any job, but my dream job —with the FBI . If they hired me, I would have to move to Washington D.C., so any thoughts about having a serious relationship with anyone right now would have to be put on hold. I could have my dream job or Brandon, assuming that he felt the same way about me, but not both.

GAWD!! So grossly unfair.

Seth waved at me, and I walked over. “Having fun?” he asked.

“I’m still confused,” I said distantly.

Seth wrinkled his nose. “Really?” he asked, sounding disappointed.

I nodded. “The thing is,” I said, “I’m fairly sure I really like Brandon now.”

The downside was I was no closer to a relationship with him or even knowing what to do if I was in a relationship . In the end, I was going to lose something, and I didn’t know which one was going to hurt more.