23. Blake
The cold pressing against my cheeks barely registers. I went numb hours ago when Bran revealed the worst of his relationship with Celeste.
All I can think is I had a niece I never knew about, never saw, never held.
Laura.
“Did you choose her name?” My voice is hoarse, rough from all the tears I’ve shed.
“Yes.”
“What did that cost you?”
“A sixty-thousand-dollar engagement ring.”
Bran’s words are flat, lifeless, and I can relate. It’s how I feel right now. Gutted. I’m sure once the shock wears off, I’ll be full of anger and resentment, frustration and disappointment, and most of all sorrow.
I can only image how Bran felt when he learned the girl he adored, thought was his, wasn’t only gone, she’d never been his to begin with.
“You put yourself through so much only to find out she wasn’t yours.”
“She was. Maybe not by blood, but the second I agreed to pay Celeste to have the baby, to marry me, Laura was mine in every way that matters.”
“You said that before. I didn’t put it together then.”
“I had her last name changed. After her death. I had them add Watts. Laura Jean Lattimer Watts.”
“Oh, Bran.” This man. So sure he’s the villain in this whole drama when he’s really the hero. “You have depths you don’t give yourself credit for.”
“It felt like the right thing to do. I haven’t told anyone else. You and I are the only living people who know the truth.”
“Do you want it to stay that way?” I want to tell my brothers, my parents, but it’s not my decision to make.
“Yes. But should it? Don’t your brothers, your parents, have a right to know?”
“I don’t know what the right thing to do is. And I’m struggling to get past the fact I have a niece and I never got to meet her. Hold her.”
“I was going to introduce her to the family after the divorce.”
“We would have loved getting to see you again. Loved meeting her.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the other day. When I explained about Celeste. But talking about Laura…”
I lean to the side and rest my head on his shoulder. “I get it. Why you kept this last skeleton until now.”
“If I tell them…I don’t think I can do it on my own, without you there. I want you there.”
The thought of telling my brothers cramps my stomach, churns until I think I might be sick. They were so vocal about Bran’s supposed betrayal I can’t imagine either of them will take the news about Laura well.
“If you decide to tell them, I think you need to tell Mom and Dad first. They’ll know how to handle the twins.”
“I don’t want to cloud the excitement surrounding the Rogues with this.”
“It won’t. For a start, this news is not for public consumption, and I’m not sure my parents will even agree with telling Corbin and Landon.”
“I’ll defer to them on this. If we tell anyone at all.”
“I think you need to tell them, the twins. But it’s up to you. It’s just, I think this secret is part of the reason you’re still living up here, hiding away, refusing to face another hard situation no one has a hope of winning.”
“You’re right. No one in this situation comes out on top.”
“Okay. So you tell my parents and get their advice on telling the twins.”
“I have to be honest, part of me wants to keep quiet, not mention Laura, not even think about Celeste, but I know that’s to protect myself. To keep her mine a little longer.”
“Keeping it all bottled up doesn’t help you, Bran. It just festers and turns more poisonous. I think your instinct to come out here, in the sunshine, the fresh air, to tell me you weren’t Laura’s biological father was spot on. She deserves to be in the light. And people, her people, need to know about her. I get why you want to keep her for yourself, but she deserves to be shared.”
“I should never have cut you all off. If I hadn’t, Celeste might have told me sooner, Laura might not be gone.”
“There’s no point playing what if. So many things could have been different. If Celeste had gone to either of my brothers, they would have stepped up. I don’t understand why she didn’t.”
“I don’t think she wanted to. She didn’t want the baby. I spent months making sure she ate right, took her vitamins, got enough sleep. I had to search the house regularly for alcohol, dump it down the drain when I found it. I think she thought I’d just give her money.”
“You did.”
“But it came with conditions. She had to have the baby. Marry me so I had some control over the situation. I went to every doctor’s appointment I could, something else she bitched about all the time.”
“She picked the wrong guy for a quick fix.”
“She picked the wrong guys to sleep with too. Corbin or Landon, whoever she chose to tell, would have pushed for the same as me. To be honest, I didn’t believe Laura could be theirs at first but when I thought about it, when I looked at the million and one pictures I took of her in those short weeks, she has the twins’ eyes. Your eyes.”
“She does?” I want to ask to see, except I don’t think I’m ready for that. Maybe in a few hours—tomorrow.
“I’ll show you when we go back to the house.”
“I understand why you hate Celeste.”
“I don’t hate her. I despise her. The trauma she inflicted, on me, on her daughter, it was cruel, and I will never forgive her. I’m glad she’s dead. If she wasn’t, I don’t know if I could stop myself from strangling the life out of her. I’d gladly do the time for it.”
“I’d come visit you. Then again, with what I know now, I’d probably be in my own cell.”
“I don’t want to ask, but I have to. Are we okay? Does this ruin what we’ve started here?”
“What? No!” I tip my head back to look at him. “Of course not. Why would you even think that?”
“I’ve lied to you so many times.”
“Have you? From where I stand, it looks more like keeping information from me. That’s not lying. Not in my book. And you did it to protect Laura, to protect me, from Celeste, yourself from more pain. I see that. I didn’t at first, I do now.”
“I don’t intend to keep you in the dark ever again. Or lie. I know we haven’t really talked about us as a couple but you have to know, that’s what I want. I’m prepared to wait as long as you need to.”
“You don’t think we’ve waited long enough?”
“Yes. But I don’t want to rush things, fuck anything up, and we have unfinished business to deal with, then the Rogues to get off the ground.”
“Oh, we do, do we?”
“Yes, we do. I told you I’d sign. I meant it.”
“Then you should probably get yourself a new agent.”
“Know any good ones?”
“Actually, yes, Walker’s agent, Drake. He’s a shark at negotiating but also fair. He won’t bullshit you and he’ll go to bat for you to get a better deal.”
“The one you’re offering isn’t good?”
“Oh, it’s good. On par with what you had before.”
“I’d play for free.”
“You don’t need to do that, and you shouldn’t. Your talent and the hard work you put into honing your skills is worth something.”
“I guess.”
“There’s no guessing. Just because you do something you love doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get paid for it.”
“I’m not sure I love it like I used to.”
“Why the hell not? There was nothing wrong with your game before…”
“No, but it’s the game that led me down the path I ended up on.” His gaze meets mine, his eyes a maelstrom of swirling emotions. “If I hadn’t been so single focused on getting signed to an NHL team, I would have gotten on my knees and begged you to marry me. I never would have met Celeste. Never would have married a woman I didn’t like, never mind love.”
“And you wouldn’t have had Laura.”
“Sometimes I wonder if those five and half weeks with her were worth it.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that. You loved her. Love her. She knew that, I know it because I know you love me.”
“I do. I never stopped. Could never stop and I’m scared shitless if I come out of hiding, if I join the Rogues, my past is going to come roaring back and ruin everything all over again.”
“You survived it once, you can survive it again.”
“Did I though?” He waves a hand at the trees behind us. “I’ve been hiding in the woods for two years, refusing to answer the phone or talk to anyone I didn’t have to.”
“But you didn’t want to.”
“What?”
“You didn’t want to leave here. Now you do.”
“And?”
“Wanting to come out of hiding makes all the difference. If you didn’t want to, you wouldn’t put in the effort you have with me the last few days, you wouldn’t be talking about playing for the Rogues, going to Mom and Dad’s. You’d be telling me to leave and pushing me down the driveway.”
“I’ll never push you away again.”
“Well, here’s the deal, Branton Lattimer. I don’t want to live hidden away in the woods. I want to live every minute of every day and make the Rogues a success. So if you want to be with me, if you’re serious about us as a couple, you have to leave your safe place and find a new one. One that lets you live.”
“That’s you.”
“What?”
“You. You’re my safe place. I barely got through the day before you turned up in my living room. Now I’m bounding out of bed each morning ready to hang out, go for a hike, explore Parry Sound. Whatever you want to do, I want to do. Without you, none of that enthusiasm exists. You’re my reason for living.”