Hot Shot (Hot as Puck Book 2)

28. Branton

It’s been two days since I purged my soul in Andrew Watts’ arms, then told two people I love deeply they had a grandchild they never knew about. Never met. Have no chance of meeting.

And I hurt more today than I did that night when I crawled into bed.

This is a different hurt though. This is from working my body until I’m on the verge of collapse then pushing it some more. I’m in pain inside and out and there’s a thin layer of satisfaction in it.

A new level of penance for all the mistakes I’ve made.

And a way to avoid thinking about what’s to come.

The twins arrive tonight.

Oakley arranged for her grandfather’s private jet to fly them here so no one outside the family knows they’re coming. After the Knights’ game against the Miami Steam, Corbin and Landon will head to the airport, board the plane, and arrive here somewhere around midnight.

Andrew suggested we see what shape they’re in before we sit them down and reveal what Celeste’s last words were. I’d be happy to wait until morning, but they only have one day before they need to head back to New York.

Part of me wants to get it over with the second they walk through the front door. The other part wants to get in the SUV Blake and I arrived in and drive away. Speed back to my hidey-hole as Blake calls it, and ignore everything and everyone.

I destroyed my friendship with Landon and Corbin when I married Celeste and cut Blake from my life. They saw it as a betrayal, and I know they’ll see this as another one. And maybe it is. I’ve kept this from them—from everyone—for almost three years.

But if I want to get my life back, pursue a relationship with Blake other than being a player on her team, I need to face them with the truth. Have to convince them what I did wasn’t with the intent to hurt anyone.

Convince them that I would have told them if I’d known Laura was theirs before the cruelty of her mother took her away.

Pain pinches my chest, and it has nothing to do with the hundred crunches I just completed.

It physically hurts to think of my sweet baby girl gone and I have to lie flat on my back to catch my breath—the pain of her loss takes the wind right out of me.

She might not have been mine biologically but I was there for her first breath. There for her last. And all the ones in between.

She was mine.

Sharing her with Blake, with Andrew and Larissa, and soon with Corbin and Landon is harder than I ever thought it would be and she’s not here for me to physically hand over. I’ve been hoarding her memory but what Blake said the other day is true. And subconsciously I think I’ve known that for a while. It’s why I chose to tell Blake outside.

Laura deserves to be in the light, deserves to be shared with people who will love her in spite of her being gone. Keeping her in the dark, in my head and my heart, isn’t fair to her or anyone else.

“Are you done killing yourself today?” Blake’s voice snaps my head around to find her leaning on the wall near the weights rack.

“Shit. Didn’t hear you come in.” Reaching for the towel on the mat beside me, I wipe the sweat from my face but I don’t get up. I haven’t the energy or desire to.

“I’ve been here since before the lunges.”

I cringe. “So a while then.”

“Yes.” She pushes off the wall and moves closer, sits on the mat next to the one I’m stretched out on. “The physical pain won’t take away your emotional pain.”

“I know. But it gives me a focus other the tragedy that is my life.”

“Having a child, no matter the circumstances, is never a tragedy.”

“No, but losing her is.” Tightening my stomach, I sit up and drag the towel down my face again. “For more than just me.”

“If Celeste had lived, do you think she would have told you? About not being Laura’s father?”

“Probably. To hurt me in some way. I have no doubt she would have continued to come around for money even if the divorce had gone through.”

“She sounds like a very unhappy woman.”

“Having Laura made her that way.”

“No. I think she was unhappy long before she got pregnant.”

“We’ll never know, and to be honest, I hate thinking about her, never mind talking about her. Change of subject. What did you tell Oakley to get the jet?”

“Nothing. Just asked to use it. Pa lets her use it whenever and he’s offered it to me before so…” She shrugs.

“Is the plan still to stay here through the rest of the week or are we going to head out on the jet with Corbin and Landon?”

“We’re staying. All I’ve seen so far is a man determined to exhaust himself.” Slapping my back before using my shoulder to push to her feet she adds, “Get a shower. Meet us in the kitchen. Mom has the ingredients for your mom’s stew. You’re cooking tonight.”

Tipping my head back, I look up at her. “I thought we were having lasagna.”

“Nope. If you need things to keep busy, keep you out of your head, I’ll find them for you. I don’t want you burning out before I’ve even gotten you on the ice.”

“Ah, so it has nothing to do with you wanting to take care of me.”

“It has everything to do with that but right now I’m your coach and I say enough. Hot shower using the massage jets. Then get your chef’s hat on.”

“Yes, boss.” I push up on legs that feel overworked. I knew I was pushing it but I may have pushed more than I thought. I’ll be feeling it later. “Where’s your dad?”

“In his office. Why?”

“Your mom in the kitchen?”

“No. I think she’s out in the garden. Something about enjoying the spring afternoon sun while it lasts. She’s predicting snow later in the week.”

“I didn’t tell them I had Laura’s birth certificate changed to add Watts. I want to do that before Landon and Corbin get here.”

“Now?”

“I guess. It’s been playing on my mind the last few days.”

“Tell them at dinner.”

“I’d like to do it now.”

“Before the shower I told you to take?” Stepping closer, she reaches for my hand and effortlessly weaves our fingers together. “What’s going on?”

“I…” Looking away I try to get my thoughts in order. “I need them to know I did the right thing.”

“Oh, Bran. You did the right thing the second you made up your mind to get married and have Laura.”

“I’m not sure about that, but in the end, after I knew the truth, I did the right thing.”

“Do we know the truth? Celeste lied about a lot of things. She could have lied about the twins. They were your closest friends, she had to know that. If she was going to name anyone to hurt you, they were the perfect choice.”

“I have Laura’s DNA.”

“What? Why?”

“I asked them to run hers and mine because I’d started to wonder, especially after she tried to hook up with Carl again.”

“And the results? When did you get those?”

“The day I turned up to the Knights game smashed out of my head.”

“Bran.” Her arms are around me so fast I don’t have time to react. I’m drenched in sweat and stink worse than a skunk but Blake doesn’t care. She wraps me up and holds me tight.

At first I don’t move. I’m incapable of doing anything except soak up her warmth, but the longer she holds on to me, the harder it is to stop myself from returning the embrace.

And my dick isn’t oblivious to the situation.

We’ve managed to keep things between us platonic for the most part. I’ve had more than one hard on since Blake arrived back in my life but this is the first time I’ve had one with her plastered against me.

I’m not going to lie, I’d give anything to move us out of the friends zone except I can’t afford to fuck this up and pushing her to the floor and fucking her now would definitely be fucking this up.

“I want?—”

“I know, Bran. I do too but we can’t, it’s not our time.”

How she reads me, the situation, with ease makes my affection for her grow. I’m in love with her. Have always been in love with her. I just never had the balls to go after what we could have.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing for making you look like a fool. And I was the biggest fool of them all.

I had Blake Watts.

Could have had her since I was twenty and I chose ambition—mine and hers—the NHL, her Olympic success, over making our connection solid.

And for what?

Another woman to come along and blow up all the plans we’d talked about.

“You will never understand how sorry I am about what happened,” I whisper into her hair.

“Stop beating yourself up over things we can’t change.” She leans back and locks eyes with me. “And I say ‘we’ because we both did things, let things happen, that we should have pushed through together on. We could have made it work long distance. I know we could have, and yet neither of us pushed for that when we should have.”

“No more. From now on we tackle everything together. I don’t think I can do it without you anyway.”

“Good thing you don’t have to.”

“I’d give anything to kiss you right now but if I do I don’t think I can stop at a kiss.”

“We’ll save it for later. After the twins have gone back to New York.”

Loosening my hold, I move back and she lets her arms slip away from me. “If we’re waiting…” I glance down at my tented shorts.

Blake’s laughter lights up the room, lights up my insides.

“It’s not that funny.”

“I’m not laughing because it’s funny. I’m laughing because I’m happy. Seeing you, being with you, makes me happier than I’ve been in years. And I wasn’t even unhappy.”

With a last smile she leaves me to think about what just transpired and to get my dick under control. I’m not about to walk through her parents’ house with a blatant erection. And the hand towel I have in my fist isn’t going to give much coverage and would look more obvious than my crotch tent.

Shaking my head I think about the things we have to navigate before I can kiss Blake the way I want to.

The thought of her brothers is the ice bath my libido needs for instant deflation.