How May I Please You (The Darkest Kink #2) (The Darkest Kink Duet)

29. ~ Journey ~

twenty-nine

You didn”t come homelast night, Sir. Where are you? My heart can’t take your absence although I understand why you are upset. I’m sure I deserve for you to leave me standing in the garage screaming, begging you to come back so we can talk about this. I’ve earned the heartache, but it’s weighing on me so heavily I can barely stand up straight. Sir, I’m sorry. Please come back. Please fucking come back.

My morning routine feels like a slow crawl through a field of barbed wire. The things I usually do, the steps I normally take are lethargic as I try to get ready for work. I have no desire to put on makeup, nor the energy, so I don”t. I tie my hair up in a loose, carefree ponytail with untamed strands sticking out in different directions. The agony I feel pulls the skin on my face down, giving me bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep and depression. Your leaving did this to me. I’m not the same person without you. I am lifeless in your absence.

I don”t think I did a good job of explaining anything last night. I was too shocked to put my thoughts into any sort of order, and you were so persistent. Being faced with the idea of you leaving forced me to let it all out, and once it started there was no stopping it. I spilled it all, including the fact that I knew about Sierra the entire time. As much as I didn”t mean to say that, I’m glad I’m free of it. I have no more secrets from you now … but you”re gone. Honesty cost me everything. Or maybe I’m reading it wrong. Lying cost me everything.

The sun is out, but I feel like my morning drive is shrouded in pitch black. I barely notice the other vehicles on the road. My mind shifts to auto pilot the entire drive to the precinct, and I’m parking before I even know where I am. If I ran over ten people on the commute, I wouldn”t have known. All I can think about is you. I don”t even know where you are, but I’ve done as you told me. I haven”t called or texted, fighting the urge every minute. But you are my Dom and I”m your submissive. I’ve broken your rules enough, and breaking them now will do nothing to get me back on your good side. So I’ll wait for you to speak to me. I’ll wait for you to come back. You are coming back, right Sir?

I get out of the car with misery still making me fifty pounds heavier. Slow, dragging steps carry me inside where the hustle and bustle of the bullpen is still happening as if you haven”t left, as if I didn”t spend my night alone, blanketed by agony. The officers and detectives I’ve known for so long say my name in greeting, but it doesn”t even register. I keep my eyes on my desk until I reach it and plop down, all motivation stripped from my body.

“Jesus, Monroe, you look terrible. Rough night?”

I shake my head, already irked by Summers’ jovial mood and questions. I’m ready to tell him to leave me the fuck alone, but when I turn around, I’m surprised by a different person. Captain Saunders towers above me, his chubby, pockmarked face glaring down at me with curiosity in his eyes. Usually I would sit up straight and try to keep a positive relationship with the captain, but today I don”t care. Nothing will matter until you and I are speaking again.

I clear my throat but don”t bother to sit up. “Umm, yeah. Rough night, but I’m here.”

“I see. Maybe you should get yourself some coffee or something,” Saunders suggests, but I don”t budge. “You could”ve called in sick if you”re not feeling well. Then again, I would”ve been surprised if you did, considering the warrant. How come you didn”t tell me you were back on the Sierra Cross case?”

Ugh. This is exactly the kind of thing I don”t have patience for today. Even when Summers isn”t here, the topics he usually brings up are still hovering over my head like a fucking rain cloud.

I sigh hard and loud. “Captain … what? Warrant? Sierra Cross case? I have no idea what you”re talking about.”

Saunders’ eyebrows slowly knit together. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. Summers and I are not on the Sierra Cross case.”

“Then why did your partner spend the morning in front of a judge getting a search warrant?”

I frown. “A search warrant for what?”

“To dig in Evan Godric’s backyard?”

I instantly shoot up in my chair, eyes as big as flying saucers. “He did what?”

“Jeez, why are you acting so surprised by this?” Saunders asks. “Are you two not communicating or something? I got word that Summers had an appointment scheduled with Judge Palmer this morning, trying to get a search warrant for Evan Godric’s property. Palmer granted the warrant. Based on what evidence, I don”t know. But Summers must’ve had something convincing if he got the warrant from Palmer. He didn”t tell you?”

Panic ignites in my body like napalm, sending hot pinpricks flowing through my veins at a million degrees. I don”t even think to answer the captain. Instead, I jump out of my seat and run through the bullpen, colliding with two uniformed officers before I finally reach the door. I bolt around the corner and into the parking lot, fumbling for both my keys and my phone.

Once I’m in the car, I start it and slam on the gas, sending my vehicle tearing through the lot and onto the busy road. Morning traffic stops me almost immediately, and I try to use the extra time to bring up your name on the phone, but my fingers are too shaky to do it correctly.

Summers has a warrant to search your house. Is that where you spent the night last night? I assume it was, and if I’m right, I have to get in touch with you immediately. Otherwise, unless you’ve already left for work, you”re about to get a terrible wake up call.