Chapter 5
Gossip gals – five elderly women who enjoy confusing the snot out of new residents of Winter Falls
Leia
Ienter Bake Me Happy with Isla where she announces to the man behind the counter, “I get a treat because I did good today.”
“What did you do?” he asks.
“I helped the little kids learn their ABCs.” Isla beams and my stomach warms with pride.
Any guilt about forcing her to attend activities at the community center all day during the summer vacation while I work disappears. She’s having fun and learning stuff. She’s okay. No. She’s more than okay. She’s thriving. Moving to Winter Falls was the right decision.
“What do you want for a treat, Isla?” the man asks and I gasp. How does he know her name? We’ve never been inside this bakery before.
He winks at me. “There is no such thing as privacy in Winter Falls, Leia Wilson, personal assistant to Brody Bragg.”
I knew small town living would be different. But this is crazy. Before I have a chance to figure out a response, he speaks again, “And I’m Bryan. This is my place.”
A man nearly as big as Fender enters the bakery from the kitchen. “No, it isn’t.”
Bryan rolls his eyes. “I allow him to think he’s the boss of me.”
“Because I am the boss of you.”
Bryan leans over the counter to whisper to me. “He thinks he’s the boss of me because he signs my paychecks.”
I giggle. “I think signing your paycheck is the definition of boss.”
“Who are you?” Isla asks the big guy.
He comes around the counter and kneels in front of her. “I’m Rowan. I have a daughter but she’s not as big as you. She’s a baby.”
“I’m not a baby. I’m eleven and a half.”
“And you’re here for a treat.”
She grins. “Mom said I can have a treat because I was good today.”
I place my hand on her shoulder. “She was very good today.”
The door opens behind us and someone shouts, “They’re in here!”
I glance around but besides Rowan and Bryan, there are no other customers in the bakery other than Isla and myself.
Rowan holds out his hand to Isla. “Do you want a tour of the kitchen where all the baking happens?”
Isla looks up at me with wide eyes. “Can I, Mom? Can I?”
“Trust me, girl,” Bryan says before I have a chance to answer. “You want your girl out of firing range.”
“Firing range? What’s happening?” And do I need to grab my daughter and bolt?
“Everything’s fine. Bryan’s a bit dramatic,” Rowan says before addressing my daughter again. “Come on, Isla. I’m baking some snickerdoodles. How do you feel about cinnamon?”
“Yummy!” she yells before following him to the kitchen.
“Leia Wilson!”
I startle at the sound of my name. Bryan slides a drink across the counter. “Sorry, I don’t have any alcohol. A caramel mocha latte will have to do.”
Why do I need alcohol? What is happening?
I take a fortifying sip of my drink before slowly facing the woman who called my name. Except it’s not one woman. It’s five elderly women.
I steel my spine. If I can take my final in business economics smelling of puke after being awake all night with Isla projectile vomiting, I can handle a bunch of old ladies. Side note – I aced that final.
“Hello.”
“I’ll do the introductions,” the woman in the front says. “I’m Sage. I’m the leader.”
The woman next to her rolls her eyes. “She always says she’s the leader. She’s not.”
Sage bristles. “I am, too.”
“Whatever.”
I’ve never heard a woman old enough to be my grandmother grumble whatever before. I bite my tongue to hide my amusement. No matter how crazy a person is, laughing in their face is wrong.
Sage clears her throat. “Anyway, this is Feather, Petal, Cayenne, and Clove. Together we’re the…”
“Gossip gals!” They announce together.
I feel as if I should clap. Should I clap?
“Nice to meet you. I’m—”
“Leia Wilson,” Sage cuts me off to answer.
Good thing Bryan prepared me for everyone in town knowing my name. Otherwise, I might have grabbed my daughter and ran for the hills.
“How can I help you?”
Cayenne grins. “It’s not what you can do for us, but what we can do for you.”
Is she paraphrasing JFK? “I think you have the quote wrong.”
Clove frowns at Cayenne. “I thought we agreed not to tell her.”
“You’re just grumpy because we’re at Bake Me Happy instead of your café,” Sage answers.
“Tell me what?” I ask before the two can begin to argue. Something tells me these women argue with each other a lot. And they enjoy it, too.
Petal sighs. “This is going to be my favorite project.”
“They’re all your favorite projects!” the other women say in unison.
“Are you a musical group?” I ask because they’ve responded in perfect unison twice now. It’s impressive.
Sage lifts her chin. “I did win the karaoke contest at Saffron’s funeral.”
I must be having some kind of hallucination due to sleep deprivation. I probably fell asleep on my desk. Any moment now I’m going to wake up with an ink stain on my cheek and post-its stuck to my forehead.
Wake up, Leia. Wake up!
Feather cackles. “She thinks she’s sleeping. Or maybe she thinks she’s in a coma. Remember the book we read where the heroine was in a coma. She fell in love with a man during a coma dream and when she woke up the man was sitting next to her bed but she didn’t know who he was. What was the title of it?”
Sage motions to her. “Feather chooses our books for sexy book club.”
“You should join us,” Feather says. “We meet once a month.”
“Sorry. I don’t have time to read. I have a full-time job and I’m a single mom.”
“You don’t have to read the book,” Clove says. “We have nibbles and wine and gossip.”
“And soon we’ll have a stripper,” Cayenne adds. “Assuming Fender agrees.”
“Fender is going to strip for you?”
The man may be a grump and a half but I wouldn’t mind getting a chance to study those muscles with no clothes covering them. Does he have tattoos? Or is his skin ink free? And how does his skin feel? Would it be soft to the touch? Or hard?
“Yes!” Bryan claps. “I want to come if Fender’s stripping.” He’s not the only one.
“Fender isn’t going to strip for the sexy book club!” Rowan hollers from the kitchen.
“Don’t crush my dreams,” Bryan hollers back. “If I can’t have you, I’ll settle for Fender.”
Rowan is an attractive man but he can’t hold a candle to Fender. Rowan’s a Hershey’s chocolate bar. Fender is a Belgian chocolate bonbon.
“It’s sexy book club,”Feather insists. “It’s not stripper night at the bookstore. Anyone who attends book club should read the book.”
“In which case, I’ll reiterate. I’m a single mom. I don’t have time to read.”
“Where is Isla anyway?” Clove glances around. “I haven’t met her yet.”
“None of us have met her,” Cayenne adds.
They want to meet my daughter? Meanwhile, I’m worried I’m having some type of fever dream. Can a fever dream cause lasting damage? Do I need an MRI scan?
“I’ve changed the diapers of almost all the inhabitants of Winter Falls. Your Isla will be no exception,” Sage declares.
Diaper changing days are over for my daughter. “Isla’s eleven.”
“Eleven and a half,” my daughter yells from the kitchen. She can hear from a room away when it’s to her benefit, but when it’s time to pick up her toys? She goes deaf.
“Your next child.”
Sage is crazy. Straight up crazy. Do not pass go, proceed directly to the looney bin.
“There will be no next child. I’m one and done.” Being done with men automatically means no more babies.
“I bet Fender would make cute babies,” Feather declares.
I’m not having a fever dream but they are if they think I’m going to have babies with my grumpaholic neighbor. “Fender?”
Bryan comes to stand next to me. “Let me break this down for you.” He motions toward the ladies. “The gossip gals are the town’s matchmakers.”
“Matchmakers?” Do matchmakers still exist? And why does a town of slightly over 1,000 people need matchmakers?
He bumps my hip. “Yes, matchmakers. And they have decided—”
“We don’t decide,” Cayenne interrupts to say. “Fate does.”
Bryan clears his throat. “Fate in the form of the gossip gals has decided you should be paired with Fender.”
“Um, no. Mr. Grumpy Pants and I are not now, nor will we ever be a couple.”
He sighs. “Resistance is futile.”
“Talk to my parents. I will resist no matter how much resistance is deemed futile.”
He chuckles. “This is going to be fun.”
“There will be no fun because there will be no matchmaking. I have no intention of being matched with any man, let alone grumpapottamus.”
Petal grins. “I have some candles to make.”
“Candles?” Why is she suddenly mentioning candles? Maybe this is a fever dream after all.
“Petal makes sexy candles,” Bryan explains.
Candles can be sexy? “Excuse me?”
“You know massage candles, wax play candles.”
No, I don’t know. My experience with sex is embarrassingly limited. There isn’t much time for fun and games between the sheets when you have a small child to care for who thinks ‘stay out’ is the name of a game and not an order from her mom.
Sage claps her hands. “I believe we’ve given Ms. Wilson enough to consider. Gossip gals, move out.”
She marches to the door and the rest of the women follow her.
“I don’t want to be matched,” I holler after her. She flicks her hand before exiting the bakery along with her friends.
“Please tell me I’m sleeping.”
Bryan laughs. “You’re not sleeping and this is the most fun I’ve had since Dylan chased Virginia.”
I know all about how Dylan humiliated Virginia in high school but forgot about it. When he met her again in Winter Falls, he fell hard for her.
But I’m not interested in a romance story of my own. And, judging by the nasty comments Fender has made about my parenting skills, he doesn’t want anything to do with me.
Good. I don’t want a man.
Maybe moving to Winter Falls wasn’t the right decision after all.