Chapter 20 – Lorianna
Luke’s warm hand clasps around mine as we stroll down the street together. Crisp fall wind blows through the street, and I clutch my jacket closer, shivering, but he pulls me closer into his warmth. After dropping me off at my aunts’ last night and helping me fall asleep, I once again woke up to his absence and another shattered heart.
To lose Alex, and then my faith in Luke, again in one night… it would be too much.
But this time, when I went downstairs, I found him waiting for me at the kitchen table, talking and laughing with my aunts like they were old-time friends. Luke’s always been a charmer, but this time, when he asked if we could talk, I knew we really needed to.
Now, here we are, downtown Thousand Oaks, the cloudy autumn sky overtaking us from above. There’s a calmness to the atmosphere of the city, nothing like the busy environment of downtown LA. Despite the vampire attack last night, I don’t feel unsafe or ill at ease.
I don’t believe for a second that Alex sent those vampires after me, or spawn, or whatever they are, but it doesn’t matter if he did, does it? According to Luke, Alex is an Ancient vampire. He’s old, older than I thought, and far more powerful. If that’s true, that could be the real reason he’s so hesitant to turn on Aurelius. And if he’s as close to his lord as that implies, maybe I never should have trusted him at all.
Clearly, Luke wasn’t the only one with lists and lists of lies.
My heart pangs with longing for Alex, but he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want me. That whatever state I’m in right now, confused, unsure, broken, isn’t good enough for him. Maybe he’s right—there’s no way for him and me to be together. Until last night, I was divided between both of my options—I love Alex and Luke for vastly different reasons.
I can’t keep breaking for a man who’s shown me over and over again that he doesn’t want me back, at least not the way that I want him. Luke wants me. Luke can be with me day and night, protecting me. Keeping me safe. And now that Ivan is gone, we might really have a chance to be together without all the barriers that got in our way before.
For the first time in a while, I think everything might just be okay. Alex has given me clarity that no one else has.
My nose twitches when at a warm, crisp smell. “Mmm, what’s that? Smells delicious.
“What do you say we go get some?” He points up ahead to the small shop that looks like a bakery. “I’d love some breakfast.”
We walk together into the small shop and stand together in contented silence, listening to the murmur of other voices and the soft music playing over the speakers. I rest my head on Luke’s shoulder, and he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into him. He fits me into the curves of his muscles where I belong.
Once it’s our turn, Luke rattles off an order. “Two breakfast rolls, please.”
After a few moments, he pays for our order and the cashier hands us two wax sleeves with warm, flaky pastries inside. I bite into it with delight, licking my lips at the delicious cinnamon and creamy taste as I chew the dough.
“Good choice,” I comment, grinning.
Luke and I chat for a while about the inconsequential as we stroll down the street. For the first time in a while, it feels like we’re just a couple, not a witch and a vampire hunter both outside of our depth. However, the shadow of past events can’t be avoided forever.
“So, are you ever planning on getting a new phone?” Luke asks.
“A new phone?” My eyebrows pinch together. “How did you know I need a new one?”
“Oh, uh. I assumed since you weren’t texting me back at all since we reconnected that you must have lost yours or it was broken that night at your house.”
I smile sheepishly. “Sorry. Yeah, I lost it, I guess. I left it somewhere after everything broke down at home. I’ve been thinking about getting another, but maybe not yet. My aunts think I should stay disconnected for a while longer.”
“That’s not a bad idea, considering…” He pauses, then his concerned gaze settles on me. “Do you want to talk about—”
“Besides,” I interrupt loudly, leaning in close enough to kiss the side of Luke’s neck, “I miss texting you at night.”
Luke’s eyes flash, and I swear the temperature of my body rises several degrees. “I miss that too. And you’d be able to call me if something like last night—”
“I need you to teach me how to protect myself from vampires,” I blurt. “So I can—in case that happens again—”
Luke’s hands clamp on my shoulders. “Hey, no big deal. Of course I’ll teach you whatever you want. You should be able to protect yourself, that’s important.”
My panic isn’t entirely fake, but it’s manufactured. I don’t want to talk about Alex, or Ancient vampires, or Alex, and especially not Alex. He’s this big red question mark in my head, and whatever happened yesterday needs to stay as a yesterday topic until I have more time to think when Luke isn’t nearby.
But if Alex didn’t send those vampires after me, who did? Aurelius, someone else, or was it just bad luck? I was lucky this time. If Luke hadn’t been nearby, I’m confident Alex would have saved me. If neither of them were around, though, I would be a puddle of blood on those mausoleum stairs.
My magic is great and all, but I still don’t really understand it, and it’s unreliable at best because I don’t know how to harness it. Looking at the skills I already have, though, I’m fast and strong from years of training with dance. If Luke can teach me a couple of moves, I’m sure I can become competent in a few of those martial arts moves he used to take down those vampires without breaking a sweat.
“We can start with basic self-defense and the basics about vampire defense and weaknesses,” Luke suggests. “When do you want to start?”
I look up at him, hopeful. “Now?”
Luke jams the key into the lock of his apartment and opens the door. “Home sweet home,” he says, walking inside and dumping his keys in a tray.
I follow him in and close the door behind me. It’s a medium-sized open concept apartment where the kitchen and living area are melded into one large space. On the other side of the room, there’s a small balcony with sheer curtains letting in a little bit of light. A blue couch and wooden coffee table sit in front of a large TV mounted on the wall, then there’s a hallway leading to what I presume will be the bedroom and bathroom.
The apartment is rather plain and sparsely decorated; there’s not much of a lived-in feel or much of Luke’s personality at all.
“This is your home?” I murmur, looking around and taking it all in.
“Technically, no. It’s where I’m staying right now.” He pauses, frowning. “I don’t have a home, Lori.”
Guilt seethes inside me, and I feel like shit for phrasing it that way. “I mean—”
“It’s okay, I know what you meant. Technically,” he sighs, “the Academy owns this apartment and everywhere else I’ve lived. They have safe houses and rooms like this across the country for hunters to use for missions or emergencies. I’ve been granted a room here for a little while until they decide what I’m going to do next.”
“You’re not going back to school?”
“I want to, but—I don’t know yet.” There’s another one of those distant looks in his eyes, and my heart squeezes. “We can talk about that later. More importantly…”
He turns around to face me. The dark gray Henley hugs his muscular arms and torso, hanging loosely over his black cargo pants. He never wore those when we were together before I learned about vampires, and it makes me think they’re a part of his usual vampire hunter attire, not whatever getup he was using at school to fit in better.
Slowly, Luke crosses the living room and places his hands on my shoulders. He’s tall enough that I have to tilt my head up to look him straight in the eyes when we’re this close.
“Lori,” he murmurs. “I haven’t had a home since I was a child, but you’re the closest I’ve come to finding that feeling since. When I’m with you, home isn’t a place. I don’t care where I am or where I go, so long as I’m with you. My heart belongs to you.”
My mind is stuck in a loop, hearing those words repeating in my head.
“I…” I swallow, but my throat is dry. “You make me feel so safe, Luke, when we’re steady. I know I can rely on you for anything, literally anything, and you saving my life last night out of nowhere is proof of that. But I still have so many questions about you, about your life, about… everything. Like, where did you go yesterday? Who was that guy you were with?”
“Kurt is… one of my colleagues. And a friend. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a better introduction, but I sent him off to report those vampire spawns and the sighting of Arcien—I mean, Alex.” Luke’s fingers dig into my shoulders, and he hangs his head somewhat. “Kurt is in town because… The reason I disappeared yesterday is because we had Ivan’s funeral.”
I feel like an idiot hit by a ten-ton bag of bricks and turned into an even bigger idiot. I’m numb right now. I don’t know what to say to him. He said it was important hunter business, and why didn’t I believe him?
“It’s tradition that all hunters are honored when they die, even if it’s just a small funeral. But Ivan is—the reason it was such a big deal—wait… I never told you who Ivan is, did I? The reason I put up with so much of his bullshit?”
“I thought that was because he was your adoptive dad and your boss.”
“Yes, but, it’s more than that. Ivan wasn’t just a hunter, he was one of the most renowned hunters of his generation, if not THE most renowned. He had hundreds of vampire kills under his belt, not just spawns like we fought last night. Real vampires, and dozens of Ancients, too. He was legendary in our community of hunters, and a force to be reckoned with. The world is in a dangerous state without him breathing. I… I’m not gonna lie, Lori, the fact that he’s gone is fucking with my head.”
I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his chest. “I’m sorry, Luke. I keep acting like I’m the only one who’s having a hard time and forgetting that you lost someone important to you too. Do you want to talk more about him?”
Luke nods absently, curling his arms around my neck. “I’m not nearly as powerful of a hunter as he was, but I hope one day I will be. Last night, when Alex put that knife to my throat… I was terrified that my last breath would be taken right in front of you, and I’d die not knowing that you were safe. I’ve always been driven to be an amazing hunter, but nothing has kept me going like you have. To keep you safe, I’ll do anything. Ivan would kill me for saying that.”
I laugh softly. “I’m sure that’s only half a joke, but really… Luke, I think I’m starting to understand you better. You never pushed me away or kept me at a distance because you didn’t care, it’s a survival mechanism, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I’m… I’m surprised you understand that. We’re supposed to suppress everything, become killing machines. Keep people out. Emotions. Anything that can endanger the hunt or our allies in battle. Hurt others before they hurt you.”
“If you don’t care about someone, the vampires can’t use them as leverage against you, right?” I say sadly. “Like my dad.”
“It’s strange. I’ve always felt like I have more emotions than most other hunters; that’s part of what makes me different and efficient at what I do. I’m not just a killer, I understand humans better. I melded what I was good at into my hunter skillset, and I think it pissed off Ivan that I could do things he couldn’t, but he let it slide because he saw the benefit to our missions. Until it didn’t work anymore. Until…”
“Until me?”
He kisses the top of my head.
Luke has been through so much, but learning more about his dynamic with Ivan makes everything about Luke make more sense. His natural defiance, but the way he reluctantly follows authority anyway. The strained relationship he had with Ivan, but also the way he seemed to look up to Ivan as a larger-than-life figure. Because that’s exactly what he was to Luke.
We’ve had our ups and downs, but Luke has always been here for me when it mattered most. When I was stressed because of my dad’s condition in the hospital, after I was attacked at the club, after my dad died… and after last night. I can’t deny how deeply he cares for me, how much he loves me, even if sometimes the way he shows it is flawed.
These past few days, even if he disappeared on me again, he’s been more honest with me than ever before. For the first time, it truly feels like his emotional barriers have been stripped bare, and I can see the entire depth of him.
And seeing him, I can love him all the more for it.
“I love you, Luke. And I… if you want to, I’m willing to try this again.”
His hazel eyes shine with hope. “This?”
“Us.”
Luke’s lips tremble as they lift into a hesitant smile, like he’s not ready to believe that I really mean it. So I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a deep kiss, showing him just how much I do.
The kiss starts gentle, his lips exploring mine like they’ve never been touched before. But as our passion and longing for each other intensifies, so does the kiss, his tongue tangling with mine in a delicious knot of pleasure. His hands drift slowly down my back as if he can feel my skin through the fabric of my shirt, sending jolts of delight through me.
I feel alive, electrified by each flit of his tongue across my lips. My hands seek more contact, snaking beneath his shift. His skin is soft, despite the hard muscle hidden underneath that I know so well but eagerly trace the smooth, chiseled lines up his body.
I look up into Luke’s gorgeous eyes and see all the love and care reflected back at me. With every touch, he lights me up, setting my soul on fire.
He scoops me into his arms and carries me to the couch, where he gently lays me down without breaking our kiss. The warmth of his embrace makes me feel as though I’m floating on a cloud, while sparks of pleasure course through my veins like wildfire. My heart races with anticipation as he presses against me, then suddenly it feels like we have left the world behind and it is just us two in the universe.
In this moment, there is no fear or doubt in my heart. No yesterdays or tomorrows, only now.
I push up against every point of contact, letting desire burn through me. I moan when he sucks on my neck, kissing up to my ear. “I love you, Lori.”
He sucks on my ear, releasing the lobe with a wet sucking sound that makes me gasp and writhe. Firm, sensual hands work down my stomach, peeling away my shirt in search of bare skin. As soon as he has a grip on the hem he’s throwing it away, eagerly stripping off his shirt, too. I devour the sight of his muscular abs, which I never get tired of touching and feeling the way they move beneath my fingers.
This time, my hand lingers around the angry red scratches along his side. I trace the marks gently, but he still winces at my touch. He doesn’t pull away, but I do. “Sorry, I… These are new, aren’t they?”
“From last night,” he confirms, taking my hands in his and kissing the pads of my fingers. “It’s not as bad as it looks. Don’t think the cuts are deep enough to scar.”
A wave of emotion swells inside me, and my face feels hot as my eyes threaten to start raining. “I-I’m sorry, you got hurt because of me—”
“Shh, it doesn’t matter. I’d take so much worse if it meant keeping you safe. This is nothing, I promise.”
His words are so fierce and sure that he sucks the sadness and regret right out of me, and I nod slowly, accepting his answer. I can see in his eyes that he’d give up the world for me, and that’s more than I could ever ask for.
“It was really sexy… watching you fight,” I whisper.
Luke smirks, and his hands slide over my ribs and breasts, taking in every heaving inch of me beneath his touch. “You think so?”
“If I hadn’t been so scared, and Kurt wasn’t there, I might have told you to strip me bare right there.”
“Fuck, Lori… you paint such a fucking pretty picture.” Laying down heavier against me, the bulge between his legs presses into my thigh, and I moan as he grinds against me. I can’t stop myself from lifting up to push into him, chasing the friction of his hardness between the apex of my thighs. “I’ll remember that next time I get into a fight with you near.”
He plunges his tongue into my mouth for a deep kiss that leaves me dizzy. He kisses down my throat into the hollow and past my collarbone, and I tremble beneath him with pure fucking wanting. He notices my shaking and stops for a moment to stare into my eyes. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Every inch of you. I could worship you every day for the rest of my life.”
“Luke, please. Please keep going,” I pant.
He palms my breasts through the cage of my bra, and I trace the lines of his muscular body, memorizing the map of him as I go. Every scar has a story, every part of him is a work of art. I can’t get enough of him, his body, everything he is to me.
“Oh, Luke,” I whine and curve into his touch, desperate for more friction against my already stiff nipples.
Every sound I make eggs him on, and he finally unhooks my bra to press his bare hands into my breasts. My vision darkens at the moment of pure lust and sensation as he grinds his palms into me, feeling every inch of me before capturing one nipple in his mouth. He slides down my stomach to the hem of my leggings, sliding those fingers beneath the stretchy fabric. I gasp at the sudden stimulation everywhere at once, his fingers pinching a nipple, his tongue swirling sweet ministrations around another.
I can hardly remember my own mission—to feel him, to touch him. All of him.
He seeks deeper into my pants, and I shiver as my fingers crest my mound in search of my clit. I gasp and curl into him when he strikes home, my hands stalling out when they find rock solid package between his legs. I grope him with one hand through his pants while I work the button and zipper, finally getting him undone. This time, Luke doesn’t try to stop me, and I’m relieved—he helps slide his cargo pants down and off his legs, leaving him in a pair of black briefs.
“See what you do to me, Lori?” he rumbles, nudging me into a sitting position in the corner of the couch. Our lips lock in frantic puff of air and movement, and his tongue traces the seam of my lips while he bucks his hips into my hand, giving me a good, long feel of his hard length.
His fingers swirl around my clit, making my eyes roll back and any clever thoughts shoot back into the recesses of my brain. All I can feel is the burn of his touch, the frantic race of my heart. Finally, I get brave enough to reach inside his underwear, and I chew on my lip when my fingers wrap around the thick, velvety length of him.
My mouth waters when I get him out of his pants. Luke and I have been dating on and off for almost two months now, but this is the first time I get to see him, and feel him, in all his glory. His thickness is dark and pulsing in my hand, the tip drizzling with want equal to the surge of wetness slick between my legs after Luke’s careful efforts.
Full, penetrative sex right now isn’t my goal, but it’s hard to look at him and not wonder how I’m going to fit that inside me one day. God, would that feel more amazing than his fingers, bringing me to new heights of pleasure, or would it be a painful stretch?
Luke rocks his hips back and forth, guiding my hand along his shaft. I swallow hard and twist my fingers around him, exploring the contours of his skin. His breath catches as I grapple with his girth, and I reluctantly break away from the kiss to look up at him. His eyes are heavy lidded, his lips parted as he groans out my name.
“Does that feel good?” I whisper.
He nods. “Amazing, Lori, your hands feel so good.”
I start an up-down motion with my hand, faster and harder when Luke smashes our mouths together in a passionate kiss. The remaining fabric between us falls on the floor with a whisper, and soon we’re both completely naked, but with Luke, it feels just right.