Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
E sme
Families.
I’d missed mine so much the ache had never left. But being here with this family, this strangely addictive group of individuals did my heart some good.
“You should hear how they talk to each other at the resort,” Bella said. She was even livelier than normal, laughing at all the stupid jokes and antics of Hunter’s parents. They certainly weren’t being shy about embarrassing their three kids in front of the women who cared about them.
With them doing so, I felt a small part of the family.
“She’s the instigator,” Hunter mused as he gently jabbed me in the side. He’d tried to act playful, as if he didn’t have a care in the world, but I knew better. He was suffering and not just because of his father’s impending death. Something else was going on. Whatever it was had affected all three brothers.
“I am not. I’ll have you know I’ve been right about everything I’ve said.” I lifted the cup of coffee, enjoying the way the dessert was being consumed. While Dexter had only eaten a half of what the three boys had consumed, I’d been able to tell just how much he’d enjoyed dinner. But his good mood wasn’t only about the food. It was as if this was a moment of closure the man had needed.
I still hated they were in the situation.
“What were you so right about?” Jagger asked, the grin on his face highlighting his own enjoyment of the evening.
“Let’s see. Hunter is arrogant. He’s obnoxious. He’s sullen. He takes his employees for granted.” I gave the rugged man a salacious look.
“All true,” Shephard piped in.
“Hey,” Denise challenged. “He’s more than that.”
Mrs. Fox was laughing, but I noticed tears in her eyes. “He’s not only that,” I continued. “He has a huge heart and beneath all that thick armor surrounding him, he’s a little marshmallow fluff.” My voice was cutesy at the end and everyone laughed.
Hunter narrowed his eyes, dropping and shaking his head. “I will never live this down. Women.”
“No, you won’t, brother. But I happen to think she’s right.” Shephard was grinning harder than I’d seen him do before.
Since I’d sent Jenny home an hour before, I got up to take the dessert plates into the kitchen.
“I’ll help you,” Bella offered.
“No,” Hunter insisted. “I’ll help.”
Mr. Grouchy had returned, but I had a smile on my face. I was warm inside, even with the fears that never seemed to leave. He helped grab most of the plates, trailing behind me oh-so closely. He waited as I scraped the remains into the garbage disposal and slipped the china into the dishwasher before crowding my space.
“Do you have something you need to say to me?” I surprised him by swinging around and wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Yes, I do. I’m not a marshmallow.” As least there was a spark in his voice, a tone I’d been concerned I’d never hear again.
“I beg to differ. You’re all soft and gushy.”
“Those are fighting words, missy.” He lowered his head, issuing that cute but decisive growl I adored so much. “I’ll show you later just how bad I am.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
He grinned in his evil way just before he captured my mouth. I melted into him. How could I not? His arms were so strong, the way he held me more loving than ever. And the kiss… the kiss was explosive, heat roaring through my core to my extremities. As he pressed his tongue inside, every inch of my body tingled in anticipation of his bad side.
I had to admit I loved and craved that as well.
I think we both felt a presence, my face flushing when someone cleared their throat.
“I’m sorry for interrupting,” Dexter said. He’d insisted I call him that instead of Mr. Fox, which he’d told me was entirely too formal.
Hunter groaned openly and pulled away while I pressed my hand over my mouth. “Do you need me, Pops?”
“Actually, I wanted a couple minutes with Esme. Alone.”
I could easily tell Hunter was surprised at his father’s answer. “Well, then. If I’m not needed.” At least he winked at me before heading from the room.
Nerves attacked me immediately. I had no clue what to expect, but sick or not, Dexter Fox had a presence just like his three sons.
My grip on the counter was instant and I sensed the powerful man could tell I was nervous. His facial expression softened as he approached. When he took my hand, I was even more nervous than before.
“Do I frighten you?” he asked, amused by the question.
“No. Maybe. Okay, a little bit.”
He smiled. “I don’t want to do that, Esme. I wanted to tell you myself how much I appreciated dinner. The food was fabulous, the time and effort you put into your preparations making the evening very special.”
“I’m so glad you liked everything.”
“Esme. I loved it. Including the company and that includes you.”
Why did the man make me blush so hard?
“I’m so glad we met. You and Mrs. Fox are amazing people.”
“And so are you, my dear. Please don’t call me Mr. Fox. It truly makes me feel old.” His face took on a more serious look. “You make my son happy. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen him smile. You’re a very special person in his life.”
I nervously pushed hair behind my ear. “I don’t know about that, but being with him is… fabulous.”
“I’m glad to hear that. He can be a handful, but he was the dreamer. When he was a young boy, he was always excited about everything. It didn’t matter what it was. School. Sports. Movies. Astronomy. He used to chatter on explaining his day and whatever discovery he made. It drove his brothers crazy, but he was a light in our family even then. Sadly, his world darkened. The work he was asked to do changed him. I was very concerned for a long time. You’ve brought light into his world again. I wanted you to know how much his mother and I truly appreciate it.”
“I really care about him.”
He kissed my hand and it was the sweetest gesture I’d experienced in a long time. “I know that. Now, I need you to do something else for me.”
“Anything.”
“Don’t allow him to push you away. I suspect if he hasn’t tried, he will.”
“Why?”
“Because he believes he doesn’t deserve happiness. I can’t go into details, but something on one of his missions went wrong and he believed himself to blame. He wasn’t, but my son holds everything deep inside. I never believed he could forgive himself until I witnessed the way you two are together. I heard stories, but as they say, seeing is believing.”
“I’ll do my best. I’m not a fragile flower.”
We both laughed.
“That much I can easily tell about you. I need one more favor if you’re willing.”
“Of course,” I told him.
His face darkened. “Be there for him when I’m gone. He’ll need your support and your strength more than ever.”
I hadn’t wanted to become emotional, but it was impossible. I tried to blink away tears, yet several beads trickled down both sides of my face. “I will. I promise.”
“You’re a wonderful woman. Thank you for coming into my son’s life.”
While I wasn’t certain how to respond, I wrapped my arms around the man, both of us holding each other. The moment reminded me of just how important family truly was.
“What did Pops say to you?”
“You’ve asked me that same question five times,” I told Hunter as I took off my coat. We were home. How funny that I was beginning to think of his house as my home.
He grumbled behind me as he’d done a bazillion times before. “And you refused to answer so I asked again. I’ll continue asking until you tell me.”
“Nope. I will not betray a confidence.” I pulled off my shoes after placing my purse on the coffee table. I gave him a playful look and walked to the set of back doors. While I couldn’t see anything in the darkness, I couldn’t help teasing him.
As he came up behind me, I shuddered as usual. He swatted my behind before wrapping his arms around me. “There’s more where that one came from.”
“Oh, well.”
He pressed me to the heat of his body and I realized just how different everything felt. There were no words for what the night had meant to me and I hoped the lively conversation and closeness would help bring him comfort in the upcoming weeks.
“You made tonight special,” he told me. “Thank you. You also look stunning.”
I nestled against him and folded my arms over his. “All for you.”
“Not just for me. Well, the dress better be.” He kissed the top of my head and reached around me, flicking on the outside light. “Did you see I have a hot tub?”
“You do, huh?” As he pointed to the far side of the deck, I laughed. “Have you relaxed in it?”
“Not for a couple weeks. What do you say we spend some quality time dunking in the warmth?”
“The last time I checked there were still several inches of snow on the ground. I also noticed the big he-man who owns the place didn’t shovel off the deck.”
“You are bucking for a spanking.”
There was a fresh covering of snow that had fallen during dinner, the mere inch freshening up what had already fallen. “It’s freezing out there.”
“That’s the point of having a hot tub.” He backed away. “Come on. Be adventurous. I know you miss that aspect of your life.”
I shifted to face him quickly, planting one hand on my hip. “Are you kidding me? I think I’ve had enough for years to come after the escapades of late.” I wasn’t certain how he’d react and if I had to be honest with myself, I’d say I was fishing for new information.
He didn’t take the bait. “Entirely different. Don’t be a scaredy cat.”
“You’re calling me a scaredy cat? How dare you. Besides, I don’t have a swimsuit here.”
“No problem. We’ll go buck naked.”
“Over my dead body.”
“Let me put it to you this way, butterfly. If you don’t, I’ll rip off your clothes and carry you outside. Do you hear me?”
I gave him a harsh look, but my expression softened when he offered me his puppy dog eyes. The night had refreshed him, even if he was still hiding something. “I’d like to see you try.”
“Your wish is my command.” As soon as he advanced, I scurried away from his reach, racing toward the stairs.
“No fair. I at least need a robe.”
Hunter pointed his finger at me. “Fine, but if you’re longer than five minutes, your ass is mine. What am I saying? That fine ass of yours is already mine. Get upstairs.”
“Why, yes, sir.” I rushed up the stairs, instinctively stopping halfway up. As I looked down in his direction, a cold wave shifted into my head.
He had his head in his hands, his chest heaving. Whatever he was holding in was killing him.
As I headed toward the room we now shared, the way he was suffering was nearly breaking my heart. He needed to talk, but the question was would he? Or maybe the better one was did he trust me enough to keep his secrets?
Exactly four minutes, fifty-two seconds later I was downstairs in huge slipper boots I’d found in his closet and his robe instead of mine. Mine was sexy, but would never keep the frigid cold from icing my skin. He was nowhere in the house, but the moment I peeked my head out the door, I smiled from seeing him lounging in the hot tub already.
Without me.
How dare he?
I tried to sneak up on him, but the moment I slipped on the icy surface, my shriek caught his attention. I have no clue how the man jumped from the water so fast, leaping over the edge of the hot tub before I hit the surface, but he managed without falling on his butt. I was absolutely mesmerized by the look of concern on his face.
The way he was holding me was possessive, as if he was horrified he’d lose me. Or as if he never intended on allowing that to happen. Either way, I was swept off my feet and placed in his strong arms. My breath was foggy, which showed just how cold it was outside. He was completely naked and in his bare feet, dripping with water, but it seemed like the cold didn’t bother him in the least.
“What are you, Superman?”
“Just a guy who refuses to allow his gal to be hurt.”
“I like it when you say I’m your girl.”
He remained right where he was and I started to wonder whether his feet were frozen to the surface of the deck.
“Um, you should put me down and get back in the water before you catch your death from a cold.”
His laugh was tinged with a slight chastisement. “You do know that’s a myth. Right?”
“How about frostbite?”
“Well worth it.” If he growled one more time as me, I was going to melt into a puddle.
“Put me down, soldier.” For some reason, my reminder of who he’d once been broke the sweet trance we were both in. He eased me down, immediately slipping back into the tub. Sadly, he was no longer looking at me, merely moving to the other side to grab his drink.
A shiver tore through me as I removed the robe, trying and failing to toss it over the back of a chair. As it slipped to the snow, flakes immediately falling on top, all I could do was laugh and hope the sound would bring back his good mood.
I doubted that was possible. By the time I finally slipped into the water, he was leaning his head against the rim of the hot tub, staring up at the blackened sky. There wasn’t a single star to be seen. If this was any other experience, I’d say the moment was eerie. But with him everything reeked of passion, even when he was unhappy with me.
He’d poured me a glass of wine in what looked like a similar sippy-style cup to what I had at my house. It wasn’t meant as a slight, just his way of teasing me. I remained on one side of the tub while he remained on the other. The water was hot, bubbles floating all around us and the colorful array of lights spectacular.
Yet my heart wasn’t as light as I wanted it to be.
“A sippy cup?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Seemed appropriate.”
A full minute of awkwardness passed.
“So… Your father asked me to look after you, giving you comfort and sharing my life with you.” Why did my words sound so full of sadness?
He didn’t react or respond.
At least at first.
“Do you plan on doing that?” When he asked the question, I took that as my cue to swim a little closer to him. The hot tub was huge, easily capable of holding at least eight large adults. But we had it all to ourselves and I intended on making good use of it.
“Absolutely. As long as you keep me in the manner in which I deserve.” I took a sip of wine, remaining just outside his reach.
Or so I thought.
Hunter grabbed my arm, yanking me closer until I was forced to sit in his lap. How was his cock halfway hard in this heat?
“Oh, I will. That will include regular spankings as needed.” His voice was low and husky, much sexier than before. If he was trying to drive me crazy, it was working.
“Mmm… Only if I’m a bad girl and I’m always good.”
“Either you’re lying to yourself, or someone has been lying to you.”
“You’re terribly mean, but I’ll fix that.”
At least his laugh was genuine. “My father really likes you.”
“I like him. He’s not as grumpy as I’d imagined. Not like you anyway.”
“You are going to get it.”
“I hope so.” I leaned against him, enjoying the moment and the closeness, but I’d grown used to his tension, his constant worrying. I could tell his mind was churning through something. “Did your father say something that bothered you?”
The entire tone of his laugh changed. “Not that it bothered me. Well, maybe a little. Eye opening.” He stroked my arm with one hand, still holding the drink with the other.
“How so?”
“Let’s just say he’s a different man than any of his three sons believed.”
“Does that mean he deceived you?”
“Oh, yeah. But in doing so, he protected us. He’s a lot more of a man than I guess I gave him credit for.”
“How so?”
Hunter sighed. “We were certain he was involved in certain illegal activity prior to moving to Montana. It was all a fabrication, a made-up story for the world to believe. Hell, it was damn good since we bought it.”
“Why would he do that?”
“To hide who he was truly working for. A government agency comprised of God knows how many influential people throughout the world.”
I moved away purposely so I could shift and look into his eyes. “Wait a minute. Are we talking about the people you worked for?”
“Try all three sons. I still find it tough to believe since Shephard and Jagger were involved with entirely different organizations. Or so I believed. Come to find out, we were all still one big happy family assigned to eliminate threats at every level of society. My bet is that’s a very long list.”
I think I opened my mouth three times before finding anything appropriate to say. “Hired mercenaries for a branch of the government.”
“A secretive branch and I assure you that’s nothing new. What do you think the term ‘black ops’ means? You never hear about their duties and no one admits to being a part of that core, but they exist. They work in secrecy.”
“Isn’t that what you were considered?”
“Oh, hell no, butterfly.” He took a gulp of his drink and held the glass up for a few seconds, twisting and turning the crystal to catch the prisms of color. “We were much more dangerous and highly effective. Plus, our work wasn’t mandated or condoned by Congress or POTUS.”
“The president.”
“Correct. It would seem our father had a hand in recruiting all three of us. Imagine. We were told we couldn’t say a thing and we abided by that rule. That alienated us because it had to. I should hate that man.”
“But you don’t,” I told him. “He’s your father. He had a reason for doing what he did. Maybe more than one. What I know about that man is that he’s very proud of all three of you.”
Hunter finally looked into my eyes. “Yeah, well, he has a funny way of showing it.”
“That’s because of the same kind of reason you couldn’t tell me anything until now. You were bound by duty and honor.”
At least he offered me a slight smile. “Yeah, I was. But the things I was required to do were… horrific.”
“Because they were necessary. Why tell you now? Because of his condition?”
“I’m sure he felt obligated by our mother and perhaps to save his soul.”
“Mmm… I don’t think that’s it. There’s something else and that something is what is on your mind. I know I’m right.”
He stroked my hair, creating another wave of shivers. “Be careful, my sweet and beautiful butterfly. Digging into the muck will only drag you into quicksand. If not straight to hell.”
“I’d rather be in hell with you than heaven without. Don’t you see that?”
As he shifted his hand, tenderly brushing the tips of his fingers down my face, I pressed my hand against his chest.
“Please know I mean what I just said.”
“I know you do and that terrifies me, but no matter how many times I’ve tried to convince myself pushing you away is best, I won’t let you go, Esme. I don’t think I’d survive it. You captured a piece of my soul and you’re well on your way to taking every pitch-black inch of my heart.”
“You’re wrong again. Your heart is bright and beating normally.”
“I must make a choice. So do Shephard and Jagger. Fall back into the line of work at an executive level or live my life as a civilian.”
The moment he offered the answer, I was utterly terrified. “That would take you away from here.” From me.
“Yes. Don’t look so forlorn. I can’t and won’t go without you. Get that through your pretty little head.”
He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me between his legs. I touched his face the same way he was doing with mine, softly and with a tremendous amount of love. I’d never felt closer to anyone than I did right now.
The fear remained. No matter what he said or how many times he mentioned he couldn’t do without me, he felt such tremendous loyalty to the country he’d fought to protect and serve that the choice, while difficult on the surface, would be one he’d find easy to make.
If I was right, I’d lose him. I looked down, but he refused to allow it, lifting my chin with his index finger.
“I love you, little butterfly. I know it seems fast and maybe I’m not the right man for you, but that’s the way I feel. I would lie down and die to protect you. I would swim the ocean to find you. And if burning in the fires of hell means you have a happy life, I’ll do that too.”
“Just live for me, Hunter. Just learn to love again and enjoy every day.” And don’t leave. I couldn’t tell him that. I wouldn’t add more pressure. It was his decision to make.
“That I plan on doing. After I hunt down the person threatening us.”
“You know who that is?”
“I’ll know soon enough. And I promise you, I will come back alive.”