37. Olivia
37
olivia
I t’s been a week since the gala, and things with Hayes have been nothing short of amazing. He’s always sending me texts during the day, and he always gets back to mine as soon as he can when he’s busy. Even when we are thousands of miles apart, I feel closer to him than I did being with someone who never left my zip code. Not to mention the fun we’ve had with the app-controlled toy during his road trip earlier this week.
Here in my house, I’m doing some laundry and sorting through the mail I haven’t checked in a couple days. It’s mostly junk that is destined to hit the recycle bin, a couple of bills, and a letter about my upcoming lease renewal. I bite my lip. I need to let my landlord know soon if I’ll be staying or leaving.
I love this place. I love the cool breeze coming off the lake. I love having historic charm while still having modern updates. I love having a music room. Why would I even hesitate to renew my lease?
Hayes. Hayes is why. The tall, handsome man who defended my honor, takes care of me, and lets me be myself.
I wish my lease was a little longer so I would have more time to decide. Surely, Hayes will not want me to move in with him this soon. Tapping the letter against my palm, I glance around my rental house. I would be out of my mind to think that, right? But it was so nice to be in his bed when he came home. Maybe I’ll just ask my landlord if I can get an extension instead of renewing.
I can’t tell Hayes. I want to move in with him because he wants me to, not because of a timeline set by my landlord. Calm your tits, Olivia. He said he loves you, not that he wants to move in with you.
My phone rings. Who is calling me? Hayes is still at practice. I look down to see a familiar name on the screen, my brows lifting in surprise.
“Hi David,” I say, confusion coloring my voice.
“Hey Olivia. Listen, I was calling to apologize.” He sighs, sounding embarrassed. “Zack Reeves talked to me and said you had nothing to do with him signing those pucks. You weren’t even there. And you aren’t together with that guy anymore. So…if you’d still like to be the Riders anthem singer, we’d love to have you back.”
I grin from ear to ear like an idiot. Zack talked to David? I’m sure Hayes had something to do with this and I can’t wait to give him a hard time about it later. “Oh, wow. That’s…that’s great, David; thank you!”
“It would be on a probationary period for the rest of the season, but as long as there are no more incidents, you should be fine.”
My breath catches in my throat. “Incidents?” I croak.
“Just the usual rules, Olivia. No fraternizing with the players or any other inappropriate behavior. Represent the Riders franchise with pride and decorum.”
“Right. Got it. No fraternizing with the players.” Shit, shit, shit. Fraternizing is the understatement of the year for what Hayes and I have been doing.
“I already lined up some singers for the next few games, but as long as we’re on the same page, I’ll email you the details with the next open slot. I’ll have your credentials and tickets at security as usual. Can’t wait to have you back! The Riders need their weapon.”
“Um, yeah. Thanks so much, David; I…I can’t wait to be back either,” I say with a shaky voice, my fingers fidgeting with my sleeve.
And there it is.
The mother-fucking hammer.
Shit.
“He said what ?” Maggie screeches over the phone.
“He said no fraternizing with players. Which, in case you need a recap, I am currently dating, and super in love with, a very hot Rider. What the fuck am I going to do?”
“You have to tell Hayes,” she says authoritatively. “He can pull some strings, right?”
“Mags, I cannot ask him to talk to the team he just signed with to make an exception for his girlfriend of less than a month. I don’t think people will understand I’m not just some puck bunny, flavor of the month for the new guy on the team.”
“Olivia Marie Brooks. You are not a puck bunny! Do not say that about yourself. This is different. What you guys have is special, and people will see that. I mean, I see it, and I’m jealous as hell! Sure, people are going to talk. But you’re dating a professional athlete. People are going to talk no matter what you do.”
“I guess you have a point. I just…I can’t ask Hayes to do that. It’s just…not me.”
“Liv. Tell Hayes. You go on and on about how he lets you be yourself, that you feel safe with him. Tell him what’s going on; let him help you decide what to do. Or, even better, decide together. He seems like such a great, level-headed guy, and he is so crazy in love with you. You two will figure it out.”
I shake my head. Dammit. “Mags, I really hate it when you’re right.”
“So, you hate me a lot then, huh?” she teases. “Trust me, Olivia. This guy would burn down a building for you. Just talk to him. And… I better be your plus one at the games since your boyfriend is, you know, playing .”
“Of course, Maggie. Let me deal with this crisis first, then I’ll see what I can do about tickets.”
“You’re the best, Liv!” she says as I roll my eyes.
She is right. If this will ever work, I have to tell him what’s going on. I have to be honest. Hayes isn’t Cayden; he isn’t going to bolt because I’m being vulnerable and sharing a fear. Fuck, I groan, dropping my face into my hands, I hate this.
Hayes calls as he’s leaving the Riders’ practice facility to let me know he’s running a couple of errands and will be at my place around five for dinner. I force a smile and nod, even though he can’t see me, telling him that’s great, drive safe, and I’ll make something for us to eat.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “You sound like something’s got you worried.”
Shit. This man can read me like a book, even over the phone.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I lie. I’m kind of not okay.
“Olivia. Don’t lie to me. I haven’t known you long, but I can already tell when something’s up.”
I sigh, pacing back and forth in my living room. Here goes nothing.
“Okay…so, I got a call from David Green today. He said Zack talked to him and explained everything. They…they are giving me my anthem job back.”
Hayes gasps, and I can hear his smile through the phone. “Olivia, that’s great! I’m so happy for you! Wait…why is this bad news?” he asks, both excited and confused.
“Well, because I would be back in an official capacity with the Riders, I would no longer be able to fraternize with the players. Which would mean-”
“Which would mean no fraternizing with me,” he says, finishing my sentence.
My heart drops into my stomach, and I wonder if his is doing the same. There’s a long silence, not even the sound of the road is breaking it. I want him to say something. But he doesn’t. I bite my lip, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall.
“Are you still there?” I finally ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah, I’m here. Just…thinking…I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t ask you to give this up for me.”
“I know. I…I don’t know what to do either. I love you. Like, love you, love you,” I pause for a moment, tears burning my eyes. “Listen, I will tell David I’m not coming back. I can still sing at Walt’s. I can still sing other places and keep writing songs. What I can’t do is let you go.”
“No, I can’t let you do that,” he says with a sigh. “Listen to me, okay? We’re going to figure this out. I feel horrible you’re in this position; you shouldn’t have to choose. I’m going to go run my errands super-fast, and I’ll be there as soon as I can. We’ll come up with a plan. Together. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say, choking back tears.
“Do you want me to come over now? I can get this stuff done later,” he asks.
“No, no. I’ll be fine for a couple of hours. I need to get dinner started anyway.”
“Okay. I’ll pick up some ice cream. I think better with high quality vanilla ice cream,” he says, and for some reason, that makes me smile through the disappointment of this situation. “I’ll be there in a couple of hours, then we’ll come up with the best plan in the history of plans. I love you, Olivia.”
“I love you too.”
And I do. I really do love this man.
As I take the chicken out of the oven, I realize it’s almost six o’clock and a knot forms in my stomach. Hayes still isn’t here. He said he’d be here at five after stopping to get ice cream. Maybe that took longer than he expected ? I don’t actually know what his other errands were. I bite my lip, rubbing my palms down my thighs. Maybe he got caught up at one of those. Glancing at the clock, my chest tightens. Surely that’s it. It’s not because he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He said he loved me, right? Maybe I imagined that. The pause he had was really long. Did he just say what he said after that to placate me? Oh God, I’m fucking spiraling here. I should call Maggie ; she can always talk me down from a spiral.
As I pick up the phone, there is a knock on the door. Finally. My muscles relax, my body able to take its first deep breath in minutes. Thank God he’s here . I open the door with a smile, which quickly fades into shock and annoyance. Standing at my door with a bouquet of flowers is not Hayes.
“Cayden, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Hi Olivia. Can I come in?”
What in the actual the fuck is he doing here?
“No. You cannot come in. This is not a good time,” I say sternly.
“I just wanted to come here and tell you I miss you. Things didn’t work out with Shay, and I wanted to apologize for leaving you at the game and for breaking up with you and for the shitty things I said at the gala. Honestly, I haven’t been happy since we broke up and I realized I don’t want to lose you.”
“What the hell, Cayden? You barely wanted to spend time with me, you got me fired from my anthem job, and now you say you miss me? You called me clingy in front of my boyfriend and a lot of my co-workers. And now that you don’t have access to my hockey tickets, you suddenly miss me? This is too much. I can’t handle this right now.” The fucking audacity of this guy.
“Please Olivia, just let me come inside,” he says again, almost pushing his way through the door.
“NO,” I snap, pulling the door shut fully stepping out onto the porch. “You are not coming in here. I told you, this is not a good time. And there will never be a good time.”
“What, is Hayes Larson here?” he grunts a little too pissy for my taste. I can tell he’s getting angry, and I’ve finally reached a point where I. Don’t. Fucking. Care.
“No, Cayden , there is no one else here, but I am expecting company soon. And, not that it’s any of your business, it is Hayes Larson, my boyfriend . Someone who treats me with respect and wants to spend time with me. Someone who realizes my talent is mine and appreciates me as much as I appreciate him.”
I hear my phone going off on my kitchen table and realize it’s probably Hayes calling to tell me he’s running late. Thank God. “You need to go. My boyfriend is on his way and, in case you’ve forgotten, he will not be happy if he arrives and you are standing on my porch. So, I suggest you get the fuck out of here. Right now. Because if he does show up while you’re here, I’ll be bailing him out of jail for the beating he will give you. And he will beat the shit out of you. I will not hold him back a second time.”
His face turns a dark shade of red as his nostrils flare. “I can take anyone in a fight. You’re such a slut, Olivia. You found the first guy who paid any attention to you after we broke up and jumped straight into bed with him. Does he know how impossible you are to please? You know he will realize you’re a clingy bitch sooner rather than later. Probably a good thing I was cheating on you, you fucking whore. You couldn’t get my dick hard if you tried!” he yells as he throws the flowers in the grass and storms off to his car.
“Hope you know whoever you date next is going to realize you’re a lazy fucking douche with a micro-penis!” I shout as he gets in his car and drives away.
Good fucking riddance.
I take a deep breath, my hands still shaking from that interaction as I rage walk back inside, slamming the door to my house, to that asshole, and to that phase of my life. I cannot wait for Hayes to get here. I need the world’s biggest hug and to tell him how I was a badass woman and stood up to Cayden.
My phone keeps ringing, immediately starting again once it times out. I start to answer my phone, but it’s not Hayes. It says “Maybe: Milwaukee Memorial Hospital.” That’s odd.
My hands shake as I swipe to answer, a sudden panic weighing on my chest. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Olivia Brooks?”
“Yes, this is she.”
“Hi, Ms. Brooks, my name is Mary, and I’m calling from the Trauma Team at Milwaukee Memorial. I’m calling because Hayes Larson was involved in an accident, and you’re listed in his phone as the emergency contact.”
The room starts to spin, and my knees can’t hold up my weight as I collapse on the floor trying not to drop my phone.
“W-w-what? Hayes was in an accident?” I mumble, choking back tears and fighting to stay calm. “Is he…is he okay?”
“They are running some tests now, ma’am, but it would be a good idea for you to come down as soon as possible.”
“Okay; I’ll be right there,” I say, hanging up the phone.
I can’t breathe. I can’t see straight. I certainly can’t drive. I need to know if Hayes is okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. I don’t need to sing; I don’t need anything but him.
I quickly dial Maggie’s number, thankful she picks up on the first ring. “Mags…can you come pick me up?”