Ice Contact (Milwaukee Steel Riders #1)

40. Olivia

40

olivia

“ W e still haven’t talked about it yet,” I groan to Maggie over FaceTime. “We haven’t talked about the amazing plan we were going to come up with to keep dating while keeping my anthem job. Avoiding it is best, Mags, I cannot possibly talk to him about this while he’s concussed .”

She glares at me like I’m about to be sent to my room. “Olivia! You need to talk to him. You have to work this out.”

“I know,” I mumble, flopping my head back on the couch in defeat. “But…if we talk then it becomes…real. And real means something bad is going to happen.”

“Okay, that doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. You love him, don’t you?” she asks, her voice guarded. “And he loves you?”

“More than anything.” My trembling heart flutters thinking about just how crazy in love I am with this man.

“Then what is the problem here? I know you two haven’t been together long, but you’ve overcome a douchey ex-boyfriend, getting fired, and a car accident. If you can deal with all that, you can surely work through this. If I didn’t know better, it sounds like you’re talking about a conversation with Cayden, who would have berated you, instead of Hayes, who does nothing but support you. He thinks you walk on water, Liv.”

“Mags…why do you have to drop a truth bomb like that?” I whine, punching a throw pillow and pouting like a toddler. “I just want you to tell me to bottle up my feelings, eat an entire pint of ice cream, and sit on the couch and cry.”

“I’m dropping this truth on you because I think you actually found a guy you can talk to about your truths.”

Damn her. Why does she have to be right? When you’ve been living in the dark cave of fear for so long it’s hard to walk into the light, allowing yourself to be out in the open where you’re all exposed. While I may love being physically naked around Hayes, my emotions are still shy, bruised, and slow to heal from my past.

I wish I had the confidence in relationships that I have singing. When I’m on stage I know exactly what I’m doing. There is no fear. No hesitation. Nothing but the deep seeded feeling of belonging. In relationships, I’m a scared baby bird trying to get the courage to flap my wings and leave the nest.

“I guess you’re right,” I groan, spinning on my heel. “I’m headed over to pick him up, but just so you know I so hate you for being logical.”

“Hate you too, Liv!! Be fearless and logical!” she exclaims with a wave before I end the call.

Maybe I should be fearless and logical. Grunting, I jam my phone into my pocket. Damn best friends and their advice.

Pulling up at the practice facility, Hayes is waiting outside like a little kid being picked up from school, his face splitting into a giant grin once he spots my car. He’s so freaking adorable . He hops in the car, leaning over to give me a kiss before buckling in.

Okay, Olivia you can do this.

Putting the car in drive, I head toward the parking lot exit. Just talk to him about this…later…after dinner. Yeah. Perfect. After dinner.

“How was your workout? Still feeling okay?” I ask as we drive back home.

“Workout was great! Just the tiniest smidge of a headache, but nothing like the first day after the accident. I just did light weights and some cardio. And before you say anything, no I did not overdo it,” he promises with a smile I can hear in his voice.

“Good. Don’t make me call Mama Kristi and report you for overdoing it.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” he snarls with horror.

“Oh, I would dare. Now that I have her number, we are besties. And she said to let her know if you were doing too much, too fast. She swore she would be on the next flight here to, how did she put it, ‘smack you upside the head.’ I, for one, would pay big money to see that,” I muse with a laugh.

“Oh my God, what have I done to my life?” Hayes says, dropping his face in his hands, equally annoyed as he is smitten.

I open my mouth to tease him more when my phone rings and comes through the speakerphone in the car. It’s my landlord.

Shit. I haven’t decided what to do about that yet either.

“You can answer that if you want,” Hayes says.

A knot twists in my stomach as I try my best to focus on the traffic ahead of us. “Oh, no, it’s fine. It’s just my landlord; I can call him back.”

“Your landlord? Is everything okay with your house?” His worry fills the car. “You can totally answer, Liv.”

He just called me Liv . My heart is literally melting like an ice cream cone inside my chest. I love it when he calls me Olivia, but the fact that he’s calling me Liv as if he’s known me forever makes my pulse race in a whole new way like it found a rhythm it’s never beaten to before. Focus Liv. Your phone is still ringing and Hayes probably thinks your place is on fire.

“My house is fine,” I say as I swallow back a huge lump in my throat. “My…my lease is up, and he wants to know if I am renewing. I have to let him know soon.”

“How soon?” Hayes asks, his voice quiet and inquisitive.

“Next week.”

“I see.”

We are both silent as the call goes to voicemail. I hate that I’m driving and can’t see his facial expression. My heart pounds, my chest aching from the tension. I’m sure he’s freaking out. Spots dance across my vision. Oh shit…now I’m freaking out . I don’t know if I can grip the steering wheel any tighter with the sweat coating my palms. Breathe, Olivia, calm your tits and breathe. Just tell him you’re renewing your lease, then it will all be fine.

“Olivia,” Hayes says with a serious tone. “Can you pull the car over?”

“What?” I gasp, “…sure. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital? Is the concussion bad again? Oh God, Hayes, do we need to call 911?”

“Olivia,” he says again very calmly, “I’m fine. Just pull the car over up there in the parking lot.” My shaky hand flips the turn signal, my stomach churning. What is happening?

My gut twisting and my hands shaky, I pull over into a nearby grocery store, putting the car in park. I turn in my seat to face Hayes who has a serious, contemplative look on his face.

“Hayes, listen, I am just going to-”

“No.” He stops me mid-sentence, holding his hand up between us. “I know what is about to come out of your mouth, and the answer is one-hundred percent no.”

Oh God, he doesn’t want me to move in with him. It’s okay. I can handle this. It’s only been a few weeks. It’s irrational to think we’d be moving in together so soon. Who knows what a year will bring. Or shit…maybe he’s decided he can’t do this anymore. I am such a fucking idiot.

“Before you get too deep into your spiral, which I know you are already doing-” damn, this guy can read me like a book, “-the answer is no. You are not going to renew your lease.”

“What?” I breathe, shocked and confused.

“I said, you are not going to renew your lease. Unless you want to, of course. But…I’d much rather you move in with me.”

“You…you want me to move in with you?”

“Olivia, I cannot breathe without you near me. You make me feel alive. You make me laugh. You bring so much joy into my life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I happen to have a cool, but travel-heavy job. I want to share every moment with you. I want to have all of our things under the same roof, so you don’t have to go grab stuff all the time.”

My vision blurs, tears welling up, fears melting away. “You do?”

“I do,” he says.

Oh my God he just said ‘I do’ and that has me feeling a whole other set of feelings.

Hayes reaches forward to the touch screen and hits the ‘missed calls’ button. He hovers his finger over the last number, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. “Move in with me, siren? We can call him back right now and tell him your decision.”

I start to ask him if he’s sure, but I know I don’t have to ask. This man loves me. I love him. And there is only one answer to this question.

“I would love to move in with you. These last few weeks, and especially the last few days, made me realize I don’t want to be without you either.”

He places his hand on my cheek and leans in to kiss me. He’s so gentle at first, our lips teasing one another, then our passion heats up. If it weren’t for the console between us, this probably would become a very voyeuristic incident. Hayes pulls back and takes my hand, giving my palm a gentle kiss as well.

“But, Hayes, what about-”

“Shhhhh,” he says, interrupting me again. “No buts. I actually have another question for you.”

“You do?” I say, my eyes wide, biting my lower lip.

“Olivia Marie Brooks, would you make me the happiest man alive and…go on a date with me tomorrow night?”

I laugh at his fake proposal, a smidge sad it wasn’t real, but also relieved we aren’t getting engaged in a parking lot. “Of course, Hayes Michael Larson, I will go on a date with you. Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise. But I think, hope, you’ll like it,” he says, grinning from ear to ear with his smoldering eyes staring me down. “Now, let’s get back to the task at hand.” Hayes gestures to the number on the touchscreen, and with a deep breath, and a lot of courage, I push it.

“Hello, Mr. Lochmueller? This is Olivia Brooks. I’m just calling to let you know I won’t be renewing my lease.”