Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
T ravis slammed his laptop shut. Everyone was talking about some new Sarah accusation. Clubs. Drinking. Drugs. Yes, it was all terrible. But it was a few players, not all the players, not him. And he felt guilty by association. What was wrong with Sarah anyway? Why the personal vendetta against one sport? There was no way he could not take it personally. They were friends. She obviously knew he’d read it. Every gossip column, every hit at the sport’s credibility hit him in the gut like she’d sucker punched him. They’d played together as kids! She was his sister’s best friend. He had almost taken her to prom. He pinched the top of his nose. Why did people pinch the bridge of their noses? It wasn’t helping. Then he stood, too much energy to walk off.
An attack on hockey was an attack on the whole sport and an attack on him. It brought down his own credibility.
A small voice inside tried to whisper something about it being the actual hockey players themselves that were doing drugs and frequenting bando parties, but he pushed it aside. He’d never been to any of those and doubted they were prevalent. Just because one guy did it, didn’t mean they all did. And even if so, they definitely didn’t need to be shouted about in the press, showing the worst possible angles and scenarios. He paced his room. A soft knock interrupted. “Travis?” His sister Tatum’s hesitant voice softened something inside that was ready for a fight.
“Come on in.” He fell back on his bed, arms behind his head.
She laid beside him on his other pillow like they used to do. “There are no cracks in your ceiling.”
“If you look closely next to the molding there might be one.”
He felt her smile next to him.
They used to follow the cracks in the ceiling as kids, they’d watch the lines from the dry wall tape and carve paths across from one corner to another.
She sighed. “Nothing is simple anymore.”
He waited for her to keep talking to give him some context, but she just lay in silence.
“So I’m clear, are we talking about Mom’s cancer? Your finals? new boyfriend? Nails? Hair? Or Sarah’s latest article.”
She laughed. “Well, when you put it like that, I guess all of it. Finals suck. I can’t believe I’m going back for a Masters. I feel like the oldest person in college. I need a mani-pedi like you would not believe. I don’t want to talk about Mom, but she’s tired.” She was quiet for a few seconds until he almost asked again. Then she said softly, “I think I came in here to talk about you and Sarah.”
“Me and Sarah?” Together ? That was something he would never admit to anyone.
“Yeah. I mean. Why have you never dated?”
His heart pounded through his rib cage so hard he was surprised it wasn’t shaking the bed.
He took so long to answer that Tatum rolled onto her side and put her head on her hand, staring at him.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. She’s your best friend.”
She plopped back down. “That’s what I was afraid of.”
It was his turn to roll to his side. “What do you mean by that?” He studied her face, but she was as much a puzzle to him as she ever was. “Tatum.”
She sighed. “Nothing. I just…” She shook her head.
“You what? Tate…you can’t bring up something like that and then just leave it. Did she…” He desperately wanted to know where this was coming from. Parts of him that he’d long ago suppressed were coming alive and it was all rushing about him like a shootout at a hockey game. What was Tatum up to? “Who’s asking here?”
She snorted. “Oh, not her.”
He bristled. Of course not her. She spent her days and nights trying to take down his reputation, by association. He sat up and then walked to the window. “She’s not interested, Tate.”
“I just think you both would be happier if you would finally date.”
“Finally.” He shrugged. “You act as if it’s been simmering underneath this whole time or something. You forget, she does everything she can to let us know she hates me.”
Her sigh dragged out much longer than necessary. “Not you exactly, just, the players with problems.”
“And by association…” He pointed a bit dramatically at his own chest. “I don’t know what you want me to do with that, if I’m like not supposed to take it personally or whatever but news flash, I’m taking it personally.”
“I know.” She bit her lip. “Don’t hate me. But what if she’s writing them because of you?”
Hurt hammered his chest, and he looked away. “Like she really does hate me?”
The pause that followed his question hurt. At last she responded. “No, like she really does love you and you don’t like her back.” Her words were almost a whisper but they struck him as though someone shouted into his face. Love him? Hope he hadn’t ever felt in her direction flared up like a hot fire. Before he could tamp it down, a wave of giddy fizzy ridiculousness showered through him down through the top of his head and before he could stop it, the corner of his mouth wiggled.
She shouted and pointed. “Aha! You like that! I knew it!”
His smile grew, and he threw a pillow at her. “Sister. Stop. This is nothing. This smile is in reaction to your ridiculous assumption, that is all. Because I’ll tell you what, there is no way on this green earth that Sarah Cooper even likes me let alone loves.” His voice shook. He wanted her so bad it was killing him. But facts were facts. She did not and was not ever going to like him back.
“I don’t know. I think that mouth wiggle meant something, and I’m gonna go with that.”
“Wait, what do you mean go with it? You are not going to Sarah with any stories of a mouth wiggle.”
She held her hands up. “Oh no. I’m not getting in between you two. I’ve stayed out this many years, no death wishes coming from me. I just mean. I have my own ways…”
He shook his head. “You do not have ways. You are the most obvious person of any of us and if you start snooping around, she’s gonna know it and think you’re as crazy as I do. And” He ran a hand through his hair. “It might come back to haunt me. We still have to go on the Europe trip remember?”
He had been counting the weeks until they would all be skiing and ice skating in Italy. The Dolomites had been on everyone’s bucket list since they were little and they were finally making it happen. “Don’t you want to just go goof around again as friends and have some fun? Why ruin it?”
She shook her head. “I don’t see it. You two need to figure out your stuff or this article writing vendetta and your moping around and sucky hockey are gonna continue forever.”
He stopped. “Woa woa woa. Sucky hockey?” He held out his hands. “I’ve been doing better than ever this whole season. Coach even mentioned other teams asking for a trade but coach wanted to keep me.”
“Hm. Well, he doesn’t know you like I do. Because what was that shootout, last game?”
He pressed his lips together. He’d missed. And that had been ridiculous, and he would never ever tell her this, but she was right. He’d been thinking about Sarah. He looked away. “That’s uncool, Tate. I’m on my way to being MVP. Back off.”
“Ok, ok. I’m sorry. You’re doing great. But that Shootout was just off and I thought if you would work things out with my best friend, everyone could be happy again?” Her eyes widened and she looked with such hope in his direction, he had to soften a bit. “Ok. I’ll see what I can do. Maybe we can, I don’t know, talk or something.”
“Take her on a date.”
“What, Tate, that’s not gonna happen.”
“Just letting you know I think you both need to…bad.”
He was done talking about this. The whole idea was too tempting, and his sister didn’t know what she was talking about. There was no way Sarah would welcome a date. And did he even welcome one? What would they talk about? How terrible her articles were for his career? But he nodded. “I’ll see. Pretty sure she’d say no.”
“Just ask. You can even tell her you want to plan Europe or something.”
This time he let himself smile. “Now, that I could do. Maybe.”
She leapt up from the bed. “Excellent. Mission accomplished here. Now I’m off to convince mom to slow down at work.”
His heart clenched. Sometimes he could forget about his mom’s cancer, but when he remembered again, it always came with a jolt. “Want me to come?”
She shook her head. “Nah. I’m gonna shamelessly tell her I need her help.”
He held out his arms for a hug. “You’re doing so much, worried about me, worried about mom, in the middle of your Masters. Hang in there.” He held her tight for as long as he could. She was the best sister, a bit misguided where Sarah was concerned, but a beautiful soul nonetheless and he loved her more the older they got. At least he didn’t have to worry about her dating some shlep. She’d sworn off men for a little while.
As soon as she closed his door he opened the window, a blast of cold air cooling his skin. That was a conversation he wouldn’t survive too many more times. He gulped big draughts of ice-cold air.
Sarah Cooper had been the literal love of his life since high school. He had always thought that by now, they’d be dating, knowing one day they’d be getting married.
But somehow instead of dating they were well on their way to being mortal enemies, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. Most of the time he pretended he didn’t care. Or he pretended like he was ticked off. But what he really was, was desperately in love.
He leaned as far out the window as he could. The icy blast was not strong enough to cool his head or calm his heart. But if almost a decade of time couldn’t chill his feelings for Sarah, a little cold air had no chance.