Chapter 33 Flynn
We’re deposited outside a large wooden building with enormous glass windows. Wind chimes sound as we approach the steps to the porch where a blonde, bare-footed lady dressed in a plain black tunic is stood, palms joined together in greeting.
‘Welcome to Moreton Hall Spa. We cannot wait to host you for your Sensory Spa Experience.’ She bows and her long plait falls forward.
A spa. The last time I was in a spa Amy told me I was making her more stressed. I didn’t know I’d been tapping the armrests in an annoying way, but I like to do things, not sit around reading or resting back thinking.
We follow the bare-footed lady inside and I try to look like I’m as excited as the rest of the group; there’s a lot of gasping over the branded gold flip flops they are doling out. I’m given an enormous pile of plush towels, the robe as soft and thick as a cloud, and am herded along with the rest of the group. Laura looks delighted over her pile of towels, which is great; I must remember what Amy would want me to do, ensure Laura has a wonderful time.
‘Let’s get our spa on!’ I smile widely.
In the corner Trish seems to be spending about twice as long as everyone else on the form we all had to fill in. When I approach I wonder if I’m imagining things as she quickly folds it in two.
The changing room smells of vanilla, those glass pots with sticks poking out on every surface, and discreet speakers play pan pipes.
I loiter outside the female changing room for an age before Trish appears behind me. ‘Come on, darling. You alright?’
‘Am I!’ I say, swallowing down my panic as I follow her inside. ‘You betcha!’
Tanya is, of course, the first to be dressed in a bikini. She is pulling a bottle of prosecco from her bag like an evil magician. ‘What happens with the hens stays with the hens!’
This prompts a bit of high-pitched giggling from the group as the rest start removing clothing.
I’m frozen, staring up at the ceiling, the discreet spotlights, the top lockers, the fire alarm – as they all undress around me.
I step across to a cubicle in the corner and hold up the cozzie which appears to be a complicated lot of fabric and string. ‘Are you ready, Amy?’ Trish calls from outside.
‘Oh, yes I am, me and my breasts!’ I give a strange bark of laughter and close my eyes.
Cool it, Flynn, act normal.
I emerge self-consciously, alarmed to feel straps and fabric in every crevice of this body. I tug on the bottom part as I secure the towel around my neck like a cloak, earning myself a look from Laura. She has knotted her towel around her chest and I realise that’s how I’m meant to do it.
‘I’m so excited!’ she says.
‘Me too!’ I squeak, following her through the changing room. ‘Girl power!’
Come on, Flynn. It’s fine. You’re Amy. You can do this. It’s just a few women having a relaxing time together. Don’t be a drip.
I emerge into the outside space hunched over and awkward. No one glances my way as I stare around the space with its wood-fired hot tubs, outdoor showers and enormous tubs of herbs.
Everyone looks like they’re having fun: complimenting each other on their toenail colours and tattoos, and exploding into fits of laughter. If I wasn’t feeling so out of place I could see the appeal. No one calls anyone Fatty or slaps them on the arse with a towel or takes the piss out of their shit tattoo.
The air smells of lavender and chlorine as the blonde woman shows us the features of the garden.
‘You will finish here, at the fire pit, your bare feet lowered in a warm copper tub, where you can focus on your body and its renewed connection to the earth, and reflect as we wrap you in blankets and bring you our herbal tea, centring you in the moment.’
Six tree stumps surround what looks like a large satellite dish filled with coal. It glows orange, filling the air with the scent of charcoal. For a moment the smell reminds me of Bonfire Night and, embarrassingly, I feel a sudden sadness wash over me. October has been harder in the last few years. Stop it, Flynn, don’t go there. I can’t help glancing across at Tanya, who has tipped her head to the side like she’s about to ace the Outdoor Spa Experience Test.
It’s a shock to see her here, and not just because she’s practically naked. I had thought I’d never see her again and time seems to unravel and blur. It’s like a lifetime ago, and all my memories of us crowd in.
She looks up at me then and I flinch as she gives me a soft smile. I can’t return it. I turn in my gold flip flops and walk away.