If I Were You

Chapter 57 Flynn

Face pressed into the pillow, dribble in a little puddle, I jerk awake, totally confused as to where I am, curled up in a shivering ball, feet cold and poking out from under a towel that has half slipped off.

From my spot I can make out the still surface of a curved swimming pool, and then I remember where I fell asleep and why I’m not tucked up in bed with Amy. My body feels instantly heavier as I recall the events of the night before, the angry words exchanged. Hurt, she’d jumped to assume the worst about me, as she so often does. This is not a work call she claims is a sports website or scrolling TikTok viral videos: this is real.

The dawn makes me blink in surprise. Through the glass roof overhead is a hazy, pale blue sky, the sun already forming stripes on the surface of the water, spilling through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. As I crane my neck up, body screeching in protest, pink streaks the horizon, a layer of mist settling over the hotel lawn and lake beyond.

I slowly sit up, my long hair dangling down, reminding me all over again that I’m trapped inside Amy’s body. Will I wake one morning and find us miraculously switched back? Thinking of Amy forces me awake.

I readjust her dress. Will she let me in to talk? If not, I’ll have to wait in the corridor for her to leave our room – she can’t stay in there all day; it’s Laura’s wedding and she can’t miss that.

That thought brings a fresh wave of panic when I think of the timetable ahead. Amy was going to play a central part in the day, but if the last thirty-six hours has taught us anything, it’s that we absolutely cannot go ahead like this. I can’t do it; there is no way I won’t mess things up for her and Laura and I don’t want to be the cause of more angst.

‘Oh,’ the male voice reverberates around the cavernous room, making me start.

‘What the …’ Hand to my chest, I look around and see Jay standing on the other side of the pool in swimming trunks, goggles in hand, one of the hotel towels around his neck.

‘Oh … hey,’ I say, trying to act casual.

‘Hey,’ Jay says, frowning and moving around the edge of the pool. ‘Thought I’d sneak an early swim,’ he says, ‘before the big day begins.’

‘Good idea,’ I say brightly, standing up.

Jay chucks his towel down and frowns as he takes in my appearance, yesterday’s crumpled outfit and the lounger with the towel draped over it like a duvet.

‘Did you … sleep here?’

I smooth my hair down, feeling the tangled knots as I do. ‘Um … no, of course not, I just …’ I lower my head, ‘Um … yeah, yeah, I did.’

Jay lowers himself onto the edge of the sun lounger, ‘Argument with Flynn? Bit of an arsehole move by him to lock you out.’

‘Oh, he didn’t,’ I say quickly. ‘I chose to sleep here.’

‘OK,’ Jay says, snapping on a pair of goggles. Then he sighs, removes them again, ‘What’s up, Amy?’

‘How do you mean?’ I try to keep my tone neutral. Where to begin? I wish I could tell Jay what’s up.

‘With you, this weekend? What’s your problem? You’ve been weird the whole time. I mean, you’re always drama but this has been next level.’

‘I haven’t been, well, OK, I haven’t been completely myself.’

‘Laura’s pretty pissed off with you,’ he warns.

My stomach drops. I know how miserable that news will make Amy.

‘She thinks you’re being selfish, not putting her first on this one special weekend.’

‘Amy’s not selfish. I mean,’ I say, fiddling with my dress, ‘I’m not being selfish, I just have a few things going on …’

Jay frowns, glancing over his shoulder like he’s worried someone else’s in the room. ‘It’s not anything to do with me and Laura, is it?’

I frown. ‘Why would it be to do with you guys?’

‘Well,’ Jay says, not quite meeting my eye, ‘I was worried you thought maybe I wasn’t good enough for her. You’ve never been a massive fan of mine, have you?’

‘That’s not true,’ I say, thinking back to the way Amy talks about Jay. She likes him, doesn’t she? Sometimes she might roll her eyes a bit. But she’s always had a hang-up about anyone she deems posh. She thinks I am, despite the fact all the money is Patrick’s. I don’t want any of it.

‘I assume it’s because of that night. But I told you that was a mistake!’

This shuts me up. What night?

‘Well, I love her, Amy, despite what you might think of me … and, look, whatever is going on with you, I need you to pull yourself together, OK, for Laura?’

I nod, staring at him. Now I see it, him in his swimming trunks. He’s pretty well built, a good-looking guy. What would Amy have not shared? What night?

I’ve never seen Jay in a competitive light. New confusion seizes me, my head swimming in the too-warm air that is already steaming up the bottom of the windows.

‘Amy?’ Jay says, waving a hand in front of my face.

‘Need to get dressed and get on,’ I mumble, scooping up my heels.

‘Are you OK?’ Jay asks.

‘Just need to get back,’ I say, knowing I need to talk to Amy and straighten out whatever the hell all this is.

It seems swapping bodies might be the least of my problems.