If Tomorrow Never Comes

Chapter Twelve Elliott

Chapter Twelve

Elliott

Yuka: ??Bitch you’re famous!??

Elliott grinned at her phone, glancing up to make sure no customers waited before she replied.

Elliott: ??That might be an exaggeration??

Yuka: ??Twenty-three new followers since yesterday!??

Elliott had finally tweaked her business website to perfection, so she’d created an Instagram page for her services, too. Carly had shared it to her Stories, and because she hadn’t been lying when she said she knew everyone in this town, traffic to Elliott’s page had been immediate.

She’d even gotten three DMs from Carly’s friends requesting more information, including one who ran a sizeable party-planning business as @ChantalPlans. If her follower count was any indication, she’d be a significant client for Elliott to land.

Elliott: ?? I’m Famous ??

Yuka: ??Well, Nebraska famous??

Elliott: ??I’ll take it??

Elliott: ??Maybe we should send Carly that fruit basket??

Yuka: ?? Yes . Please let me write the note??

Yuka: ??You saved my life, and I said thank you??

??Now I have followers, so here’s some fruit, too??

God, she missed her friend. Yuka’s recent weekend visit wasn’t long enough.

Elliott: ??That’s?? . . . ??something??

Yuka: ??You’re right, I’ll keep workshopping??

Elliott grinned and tucked her phone back into her bright-green apron. She took a long sip of the coffee she’d poured for herself, savoring the warm, rich flavor. She’d originally picked Starbucks because it seemed like fun and had solid benefits, but the free coffee ended up being the perk she appreciated the most. With sleep being as elusive as the meaning of human existence these last few weeks, she’d latched on to caffeine as if it were her lifeblood.

Which, come to think of it, probably didn’t help matters ... but at this point, it was a vicious cycle she didn’t know how to stop.

Last night a headache came on around ten. A constant headache was one of her first symptoms when she was originally diagnosed, so despite knowing they were common and it was probably nothing, they never failed to send her into a spiral of fear. She’d taken medicine and the pain faded quickly, but the same hadn’t been true for her nerves. Thank God her mom had been up and sat on the phone with her until almost one in the morning—the only reason she hadn’t dropped everything and driven back to Lincoln for the night.

Hence, coffee.

The front door opened and Stephen strolled in, tucking his hands into his skinny jeans and flashing a wide smile as he approached the counter.

Elliott gave an awkward wave because, well, she was awkward. He’d stopped by several times since their introduction, and she’d like to say she was getting better at handling the attention and mild flirting, but honestly, it was hard to know. One of her coworkers, Suzie, mooned over him anytime she was on shift and he came in, and the smooth, sexy way she spoke to him made Elliott feel wholly inadequate.

“Hi,” she said, because she couldn’t pull off What’s up, handsome? like Suzie.

“Hey. What time do you get off?”

She checked the clock on the register. “Ten minutes.”

“What are you doing tonight?”

Nothing except working on some design stuff ... How sad was that on a Friday night? She considered what else she could say, not because she wanted to lie and say she had plans, but she just felt exposed as he stood there watching her, waiting. She’d expected him to ask her out eventually, based on the way he’d stood in that exact spot flirting with her on multiple occasions, much to Suzie’s dismay.

Elliott didn’t object to the idea of going out with him; it just made her nervous. She didn’t have a lot of experience with the dating world.

Finally, she settled on the truth. “No plans.”

“I’m about to meet some friends for dinner down the street. Wanna come?”

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a date. Or Stephen was more perceptive than she gave him credit for and was trying to keep the pressure low. “Sure. Do you mean, like, right when I get off?”

“If that’s okay? I’ll just hang around till you’re done, and you can follow me, if you want.”

She looked down at her jeans and black V-neck. Not far off from what she’d have chosen anyway, but ... “I smell like coffee.”

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing?”

She didn’t mind in the least. “If you’re good with it, I’m in. Where are we going?”

“It’s some horribly pretentious raw-food restaurant,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Carly picked it. But don’t worry—the hummus appetizer and drinks are worth it, and there’s always a taco truck parked right outside. You won’t regret coming.”

Carly picked it?

Would Jamie be there?

“I like drinks. And tacos.”

Stephen grinned at her. “I like you already.”

“Hard not to.” Had she just made a joke? A flirty one? “I just need a few more minutes to finish up and clock out.”

He ran a hand through his dark hair, his eyes happy. “Take your time.”

She tried to ignore the nerves fluttering around as she finished up her shift duties. While she’d been committed to moving and living on her own, it hadn’t stopped her from bemoaning to Yuka how awkward she could be and how difficult it would be to make new friends.

Yuka had replied with standard-issue brutal honesty. “I won’t argue the awkward part, but one, I love that about you, and two, the only way to get better at meeting people is to do it.” She’d be so proud when Elliott texted her later and told her what she’d done tonight.

A few minutes later, Elliott hung up her apron and walked with Stephen to the parking lot. The restaurant was only a few minutes down the road, and they parked along the street and went inside together.

Pretentious or not, the place was packed. Stephen stood tall and looked around, jerking his chin up in acknowledgment when he found who he was looking for. “Over there.”

Elliott followed as he wove through the room to a group of high-top tables in the back. Tara With No Filter was there, and several other people Elliott didn’t recognize. Carly waved, and beside her stood Jamie.

He straightened as soon as he laid eyes on Elliott, holding her gaze for a second. Then Carly said something to him, and he leaned down to listen.

A shriek sounded from behind her. “Elliott!”

She turned and found herself immediately enveloped in a hug. She grinned wide as she returned the gesture. “Tiffany! What are you doing here?”

Tiffany pulled back and elbowed Stephen. “Carly invited me. I told you we had a lot of the same friends, remember? I didn’t know you’d be here!”

“I didn’t, either, but I’m so happy to see you.”

Stephen dropped a friendly arm across Elliott’s shoulders. “I grabbed this one from work. Didn’t even let her take a breather, but figured she could use some fun after making Frappuccinos for high schoolers all day long. How do you two know each other?”

Tiffany waited, allowing Elliott to decide how much detail to give.

“She was my transplant nurse. Took care of me for months and was the only person I knew when I moved here.”

“No way? That’s cool.”

“Small world, huh?” Tiffany added.

Elliott smiled, ignoring Jamie’s large form taking up space in her peripheral vision.

Stephen gestured to the table. “Should we sit?”

“Sure.”

Once again, Carly and Jamie ended up right across from them. A server approached the table, and Carly took the lead, ordering several plates of raw-food assortments.

“Oh, but make sure there’s no cucumber anywhere. My boyfriend’s allergic.”

A memory triggered in Elliott’s brain. Cool night air against her skin, Jamie’s warm body beside her. I hate cucumbers so much I tell people I’m allergic just so one never gets anywhere near me.

Did he remember telling her that? She took a breath and chanced a glance at him. His gaze was on her face, handing her a silent reply.

What else did Elliott know about him that his girlfriend didn’t?

That was a question she had no business asking, even herself, so she forced herself to concentrate on the conversations going on around her. Stephen’s friends (Carly’s friends? Tiffany’s friends? Whatever.) were entertaining and interesting, swinging easily from topics like sports to pop culture and back to current events.

People periodically snuck away for prolonged periods, returning only for someone else to leave. Tiffany had just drained her second margarita and scurried off somewhere when Elliott leaned close to Stephen to ask what the deal was. In that moment she felt a rush of heat across her skin and darted her eyes across the table.

Jamie’s eyes dropped as he stood and walked away.

“Where do people keep going?” she asked.

“Shh,” Stephen said conspiratorially. “It’s almost our turn.”

“For what?”

“You’ll see.”

A few minutes later, Stephen nudged her shoulder and nodded toward the front of the restaurant. With a frown, she headed that way. As soon as they were near the door, he put a gentle hand on her arm.

“It’s our turn for tacos,” Stephen said slyly. “Carly gives us a hard time for not giving her food a chance, so we try to be sneaky about it.”

Elliott laughed and followed him outside. “You’re not as smooth as you think you are.”

Sure enough, a bright-orange taco truck was parked a block away. Stephen turned to face her, walking backward as he spoke. “She’s probably pretending not to notice. Either way, she hasn’t said anything the last two times we’ve been here, and everyone gets what they want.”

That was totally something Yuka would do. “Works for me.”

They approached the small crowd of people lined up at the window. Jamie was there, taking his credit card back from the woman at the window and stepping aside. He hadn’t looked up yet, tucking his card into his wallet. When he did, his gaze found Elliott and Stephen right away. He seemed to consider what to do, then approached them.

“Not a fan of carrot sticks and celery?” Elliott asked. She hoped it sounded casual.

One corner of his mouth tipped up. “Not as a meal.”

“You gotta tell your girlfriend to stop picking this place, man,” Stephen said.

Jamie shrugged. “We all take turns. Plus, I think we single-handedly keep this taco truck in business.”

“Fair point.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t come tonight,” Jamie said mildly.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Stephen returned, then grinned at Elliott. “But I saw this one’s car at Starbucks on my way home and thought a change of plans was in order.”

Elliott’s cheeks warmed, and she looked between the two men. “I’m glad you brought me. Mostly because I love tacos.”

Stephen laughed and they took a step forward as the line moved. Jamie stayed where he was.

“I’d better wait over there. See you guys in there.” He turned and walked to wait near the pick-up window.

“He’s in a weird mood,” Stephen muttered, then shrugged. “Anyway, I’m really glad you came.”

“Me too. Thanks for the invite.”

His blue eyes met hers. “Could I have your number? Maybe we can hang out sometime. Just you and me.”

She had the urge to glance at Jamie. Had he heard that?

It doesn’t matter, does it? He isn’t available.

Jamie wasn’t available and she was. Stephen was nice and seemed interested in her. What did she have to lose?

“Sure. I’d like that.”

The rest of the night was the best evening Elliott had spent since moving here, until it wasn’t.

After dinner, the group had migrated to the patio and continued ordering drinks. Conversation was lively and Elliott finally relaxed, settling in and getting to know everyone better.

Things were in full swing when Tiffany, who was a hilarious and loud drunk, sidled up to Elliott and placed both hands on her shoulders. She’d done the same ten minutes ago, declaring Elliott a striking image of Jennifer Lawrence and how had she not noticed that before, then flitted off to talk to someone else.

“Elliott.”

Her face was so serious and wide-eyed as she balanced herself, Elliott couldn’t help but laugh. “Tiffany.”

Tiffany let out a long, beleaguered sigh. “I have to know. Did you ever find that guy?”

Oh, shit.

“Guy?” Carly materialized beside them. “What guy?”

Shit, shit, shit . “No. Um, that’s ... No. It wasn’t a big deal.” Okay, deflect better .

“What guy?” Carly demanded, louder. A few of the others stopped talking.

Tiffany’s eyes watered. “Oh my gosh. So when Elliott was in the hospital, she kept talking about this guy. They met the night before her transplant, and it was like love at first sight. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. But then she was in the hospital for months, and she didn’t have his number.”

Carly’s jaw dropped open. “No!”

Elliott shook her head, trying to make eye contact with Tiffany in the hope that she’d shut up, but by now everyone was listening, and in her inebriated state Tiffany was oblivious to Elliott’s discomfort. She dropped one hand from Elliott’s shoulder and dramatically placed it over her heart as she addressed the group. “It was the most romantic thing ever. She said his name while she slept. I finally asked her about it one day, and I swear, Elliott, I’ve never forgotten the look on your face when you told me about him. Especially the way he kissed you that night.”

Elliott wrapped her arms around her roiling stomach. She refused to look at Jamie, sitting at a table nearby. His silence was the loudest of all.

“I would give my left kidney to have someone look that way when they said my name. What was it, again? Something with a J ...”

Words. Now .

Her brain screamed profanities, but follow-through wasn’t a thing Elliott could muster, apparently. Her legs were rooted to where she stood, heart racing. She forced a swallow, and for a second, thought she might choke.

“Jeremy! It was Jeremy.” Tiffany finally met Elliott’s gaze, triumphant for a beat before taking in and misreading Elliott’s expression. Her face fell. “You really never found him again? Did you look for him?”

“I—”

Carly grabbed her hand. “Maybe we could help you find him.”

Elliott blinked, a prickling sensation building beneath her eyelids.

“Yeah, I bet between all of us we could track this guy down,” Tara chimed in. “I know a Jeremy.”

“Me too,” Stephen said easily, apparently unbothered at the thought of helping a woman he just asked out find her long-lost love. “Did he work in construction?”

She wouldn’t answer that.

“What did your guy look like?”

Her head spun so badly she wasn’t even sure who’d asked that last one. Pressing her lips together, she inhaled deeply through her nose, praying she’d stay upright. The sky swirled around her just as a familiar ringtone sounded from her purse.

“I—” She stepped back, away from everyone staring at her. Everyone except Jamie, probably, whom she refused to look at. With a shaking hand she held up the vibrating phone. “Sorry, I need to, um—”

Turning on her heel, she rushed into the restaurant and pressed the phone to her ear. “Yuka. Thank God.”

“What? What’s happening?” Her best friend’s worried voice was the best sound she’d ever heard. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just ... Give me just a second, and I’ll call you back, okay?”

Elliott hung up and slipped out the front door, texting the number Stephen had texted to her a short time ago.

Elliott: ??I’m not feeling well, I’m heading home.??

Once she’d made it to her car and had driven two blocks away from the restaurant, she pulled into a vacant parking lot and called Yuka back. She put the call on speaker and set her phone on the console.

“What the hell?”

“Sorry. I was out with Stephen and—”

“ Excuse me, ” Yuka yelled.

Shaken, Elliott rushed to get past that. “He stopped by Starbucks right before I got off and invited me to hang out, but there were a ton of people there. That’s not the important part.”

“Undecided, but okay. Continue.”

“Remember how Tiffany knows Carly? She’d mentioned they run in the same circles sometimes. Well, Tiffany was there tonight, got drunk, and told everyone about Jamie. In front of Jamie.”

“Oh. Oh, shit. No. That’s not good.” Yuka paused. “But wait, didn’t you give her a fake name back then?”

“Yeah, thank God. No one other than him knew who she was talking about. But the fact that he heard all that ... Yuka, she went on and on about how in love I was with this guy. I’m mortified.”

“What did he do?”

“I have no idea. I couldn’t look at him. They’d just asked me to describe the guy when you called.” She dropped her forehead to the steering wheel. “This is a fucking disaster.”

“It’s not great,” Yuka agreed. “But let’s look at this objectively. You were both there that night; you know how good it was. The conversation, the connection, the erotic kiss—”

“We agreed to strike ‘erotic’!”

“We most certainly did not. Anyway, all I’m saying is it shouldn’t come as a surprise to him that you were still thinking about it in the days right after. Especially with what you were going through, you know? I’d be shocked as hell if he hadn’t felt the same way.”

“We’ll never know because I’ll never ask him. Because he has a girlfriend. Who, as it turns out, saved my life. Which is why this is all so disastrous to come out now, and in front of them, no less.”

“Well. Yeah. That part is pretty awful.”

“What if someone figures it out and tells Carly?”

“How would they? Jamie’s the only one who knows, right?”

“Hell if I know. That group seems more Carly’s than his ... He sort of sticks near her and doesn’t talk to the others too much. So I doubt he’s close enough with any of them to have told them what happened. But I could be wrong, and it’s possible someone knows and will put it together.”

“But you said Jamie and Carly weren’t together back then, right? Why would it be so bad?”

“Because we’ve been lying to her by pretending we’ve never met this entire time!”

“Right.” Another pause. “So tell her. Come clean.”

“I can’t. Not now. It’s too late, and I’m not sure it’s my place to do that without Jamie on board. I just ... I don’t want to hurt Carly.”

“Yeah, okay.” Yuka hummed thoughtfully. “We also don’t want to make her mad after she promoted the hell out of your business.”

Elliott stilled for a beat. She hadn’t even thought about that. If Carly suddenly had a reason to hate Elliott, she had the capacity to make a lot of other people hate her, too. Like @ChantalPlans, and every person Chantal could introduce Elliott to.

She wished she could say she didn’t care about that part and that the only thing that mattered was being a good friend to the woman who’d given so selflessly to a stranger, but she couldn’t ignore the fact the career she wanted was just within reach. “This is just ...” She crossed her arms over her head and groaned. “I’m a terrible person.”

“Don’t talk like that. You’ve been put in a difficult position, and you’re handling it as well as you can. There’s no perfect way to maneuver these things, okay? You did nothing wrong, except maybe not coming clean about meeting Jamie before, but even that’s sticky at this point. You’ve got Carly’s best interests at heart, and that’s what matters.”

She closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted. “It doesn’t feel like enough.”

“What you need is to go home, pour yourself a glass of wine, and binge some Love Is Blind . Okay? Give yourself a little time to shut off.”

“When have I ever been able to shut anything off?”

“I was hoping it was something new we could try. You know, with the fresh start and all.”

Elliott snorted. “Some fresh start. You know, I really thought I could do this—be friends with Carly and her friends, including Jamie. Work with his sister, too. But now I just ... I don’t know. Maybe I should give up on this idea of being in Omaha and doing life on my own. Why did I even think it was a good idea? You’re in Lincoln. My family’s in Lincoln. I’m comfortable there, and I can do this job there. Maybe this is too hard.”

“The selfish part of me wants to agree and bring you back home, and I understand why, in this moment, you’re second-guessing this decision. But if we remove the situation with Jamie, you’re doing everything you ever wanted. You’re living on your own, working, building your platform. Making connections and teaching others to grow their businesses. You’re pursuing the job you want and having pretty damn good success right off the bat. You’re meeting new people and stepping out of the comfort zone you were sentenced to for so long. I’m so damned proud of you, and I’d hate to see you give up so soon at the first bump in the road.”

“We’re calling this ‘a bump in the road’?”

“A big bump, okay? The kind that spills your coffee and makes you yell shit so loud the person two cars over hears you. But you keep driving to your destination, right?”

“What if it blew a tire? Bent an axle?”

“Do axles bend? Is that a thing?”

“Hell if I know.”

“Well, you call AAA to help you. Or you change the tire yourself because you’re an independent woman.”

“Like I know how to do that! Does my car even have a spare tire?”

“How far are we taking this analogy?”

“You started it.”

“Look, all I’m saying is you’re doing something incredible that you’ve been thinking about for a long time. You want this, even if it’s hard to see it through the crap that happened tonight. Don’t let this thing with Jamie hold you back from your dreams. No man is worth that, okay? He’s not worth it.”

Elliott didn’t know what to say to that.

“Right?” Yuka pressed.

Elliott frowned, and finally replied, “Right.”

But as she restarted the car and made her way back to the apartment, she questioned if she really believed it.