Chapter 6
Rurik
I”m a guy who cherishes his solitude.
Ever since I was younger, I have been that child who craved to have a group of friends, but somehow, I always found myself on the sidelines, watching everyone else play together. I was always picked last when we were asked to choose partners. At school, I had my little corner in the quad, nicely tucked away, where I could enjoy my lunch alone. It’s not that people didn”t like me; I just never put myself out there.
To this day, I consider myself an introvert.
I don’t hate people… I just prefer my me time.
But I have quite a few friends with whom I’ve become close. Oscar and Natalie are two of them. I met them when I accidentally stumbled upon Oscar’s art gallery while returning home from a failed work interview. It worked out because Oscar was looking for help at the time. Then, once during lunch, he caught me doodling on my tablet.
Nearly a few years later, I had my first successful art showcase.
But that was also the day I developed the most painful migraine I’ve ever experienced. This migraine wasn”t merely a severe headache; it had taken the form of a woman named Briar Reyes.
Since that day, she has kept appearing everywhere I go.
There have been days when I could have sworn I saw her out of the corner of my eye, but when I looked again, she was nowhere to be found. I”ve been tempted to ask Oscar why she”s so fixated on getting to me. But I didn”t want to put him in an awkward position, considering his fiancée is best friends with that crazy woman.
I should warn my dad that she has me in her sights, just so his team can get rid of her for me. But I haven”t yet. I don”t know why. Probably because I know I can handle her myself.
Seriously, why me?
Why is she so interested in me?
No matter how much I try to push her away, she’s like a fucking boomerang who keeps coming right back to me.
I don’t know what to make of it. No one has ever paid attention to me that way.
But there she is, giving me that manic, crazed look with her caramel-colored eyes as she bombards Barbara with questions about who knows what.
“Your first date?” Briar asks slowly, with her brows raised as she glances at me.
Yes, crazy woman. I go on dates.
I’ve gone on plenty of dates.
Okay, one date.
Okay, this was the first date in years.
Once again, I”m only one to socialize much if it”s related to my work or art. So, how can I expect to meet a nice woman to ask out if I don”t try to socialize?
Then again, I put my artwork out there and somehow managed to attract a nightmare.
The nightmare grins at Barbara, “Aww, that’s so cute!”
Barbara loops her arm around mine, and I can”t help but notice how Briar”s eyes zero in on her hand as if it were a bug begging to be squashed.
Fuck.
“So, where are you from, Barb?” Briar asks sweetly, her face the image of inviting innocence.
“Proud New Yorker,” Barbara answers with a smug.
Briar grins along with her, “Wow, that”s so cool! Do you live around here?”
I stiffen. Why the fuck does she care?
”See that high-rise over there?” Barbara points to a building just visible above the trees in the distance.
“Oh yeah, I see it. Is that in the Manhattan Valley area?” Briar asks curiously, tilting her head to the side.
I blink in confusion. How could she have known which specific building Barbara was talking about when there are so many high rises in the area?
“Yes!” Barbara says, clapping her hands.
Let me melt into a puddle now.
“Oh, that’s a good area. Is it gated?”
“There’s 24/7 security, so it’s safe.”
“Ah, that’s good. Is your place called the Lotus Bloom by any chance?”
My eyes narrow as I glare at Briar. But the little shit isn’t paying attention to me, for once. The corner of her lips tip upward, and her eyes flash with recognition as Barbara nods enthusiastically.
“That’s the one!”
“Wow! But shopping must be a pain, though, right? I’ve always wondered how you bring all your shopping bags while living in such a tall building?”
Barbara waves her hand dismissively, “Oh, I don’t have to worry about that. I live on the third floor, and we have elevators.”
There”s that stupid grin again that never fails to raise my temper. “Thank goodness for elevators.”
“Right? I can’t imagine taking three flights of stairs every time I carry so many bags.”
Briar sighs heavily and shakes her head as if she understands Barbara’s bullshit. “I’m happy to hear you live in Lotus Bloom, the one in Manhattan Valley, and that you’re only on the 3rd floor.”
Jesus fucking hell.
I fight the urge to smack Barbara’s mouth shut when I see her bouncing to say more. Briar sounds like she”s making mental notes and storing them in that crazy head of hers for safekeeping.
“Have you been?” Barbara wouldn’t shut the hell up.
Briar slowly smirks, “Not yet. Who knows, maybe I’ll see you there soon.”
“That would be amazing! We should totally hang out when I see you!”
“Oh. Em. Gee, Barb! That’s such an awesome idea. We, like, totally should!” She then quickly glances at me. And winks.
For fucks sake.
Get the hell out of there. Leave, leave, leave.
“I’m not feeling well,” I blurt out, placing my palm on my chest. The sight of these two interacting will give me a heart attack.
Also, I fucking hate the perfume Barbara doused herself in. It’s giving me a headache. Possibly even worse than the breathing, walking, and talking migraine that is right in front of me.
“Oh, handsome,” Barbara gasps with worry. She places her hand on my back, and I want to bat it away. “Do you need me to take you home?”
“It’s no need,” I sigh, shaking my head. “I forgot I have to… pet my cat.”
Nice.
Wonderful save, asshole.
My creativity has no bounds.
“Um. Okay,” Barbara says slowly, looking confused as hell while I politely pull my arm away from her sweaty grip. “I’ll text you later, okay?”
I just nod.
“See you later, handsome,” Barbara waves as I turn around to walk the other way but freeze at the look on Briar’s face.
“Feel better, angel,” Briar purrs. The corner of her lips twitches when I glare at her.
I want to tell her to fuck off again, but Barbara is there, and I don’t want her to think I’m an asshole. I’m not. That’s not me. It’s Briar who’s bringing out that side of me.
Briar”s voice drips with mockery as she whispers, ”See you later, handsome,” as I roughly brush past her.
I could have sworn she was wearing that stupid grin of hers again—the little shit.
*-*-*-*
I wake up with a start, gasping for breath, my body dripping with cool sweat, and the feeling as if someone has just sucker punched my chest. Sitting up, I lean forward, cupping my neck with my hands, feeling my pulse racing faster than I want it to.
I had the weirdest dream that involved... Feathered wings? Blood? The sound of a feminine whisper against my ear? I couldn”t remember. The more awake I become, the faster the memory of what I had just dreamt slips away.
I glance at the clock on my bedside table and sigh. It”s 5:00 AM. I should get up to work out soon, but I’m not feeling it today.
I grab my phone and swipe it open, furrowing my brows at the text notifications from an unknown number. I open it and feel my heart stutter.
UNKNOWN NUMBER:
-Hello, you ;)
-It’s me! Briar, AKA your future wifey
-I got your number from our mutual friend, Oscar.
-And by got, I mean I stole it. The loser shouldn’t have left his phone out randomly while I’m present.
I scoff, quickly saving her number on my phone and changing her name. I do this not because I want to keep her number but because I will know not to answer it whenever her name pops up.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-So. Let’s talk about Barb.
-WTF, Rurik. Seriously?
-I know you only went out with her to fuck with me.
-But don’t do that shit again.
I tense at her texts. Who the bloody hell does she think she is? I furiously text her back.
ME:
-Don’t tell me what to do. Delete my number.
Seconds later, I get a text back and quickly swipe to open it.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Aww, good morning to you, too, angel!
-But seriously, though. If I ever catch you with anyone else, whether it was fake or even a pity date… I will fucking end them.
I leave her on ”Read”. She can’t tell me what to do, but I’m not naive enough to think that her threats are ever empty.
I let out a harsh breath as I glare down at her text. Seriously, who the hell does she think she is telling me I should end my relationship with someone?
Not that Barbara and I have a relationship.
We’ve only been on that one date if one can call it that. Out of all the messages I got in my dating app inbox, she was the one who said she was interested in waking up early to join me for a run. I thought, “Why not? What’s the worst that can happen?”
Briar happened.
And it’s annoying the shit out of me that I’m thinking about her first thing in the morning when I should be pushing myself to continue my morning routine and go for that jog.
I really hope Barbara doesn’t try to meet me there, though. I didn’t feel anything when we first met. I’m going to assume it’s because fucking Briar was there, ruining everything.
I feel my phone vibrate, and my heart skips over a beat. I swear if this is Briar again telling me to drop everything and — Oh. It’s Barbara.
BARBARA(TINDER):
-Hiii handsome! It was nice to meet you yesterday finally!
-Do you want me to continue joining you this morning on your run again?
-I would be happy to!
I’m going to assume the disappointment I felt flooding in my veins is not because the text isn’t from Briar but because Barbara was planning on running with me. Yeah, that’s the reason why I feel annoyed.
Not because of Briar.
I scoff out loud, exiting out of Barbara’s text and opening up Briar’s again. I re-read her messages and scowl.
“If I ever catch you with anyone else…” The nerve of this little shit.
I pause my thumb on the screen, unsure if I should leave her on ‘read’ or tell her to fuck off. But before I could decide, my phone vibrates again to see Barbara texted me again.
BARBARA (TINDER):
-Should I call you unless you’re still asleep in case you overslept? I remember you saying you don’t like to miss your morning runs!
-Then, I wondered if you wanted to grab breakfast somewhere. Maybe that donut shop I keep seeing on social media! Apparently, it’s supposed to be good…
I immediately stop reading her messages. I don’t have any interest in pursuing whatever this is anymore. I really should end it now while we’re still at the beginning stage—not because Briar told me to, but because I want to.
ME:
-Hey! No worries, I’m awake. You don’t have to join me for a run. You’re sweet and lovely, but I don’t think I’m ready for anything more. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.
There. I suck in a deep breath, seeing that Barbara quickly read the message. It’s a simple message, right? Nothing rude, yet straight to the point. Barbara seemed like the type of girl that would understand and —
BARBARA (TINDER):
-Seriously?? Wowww. Is it because of that girl we ran into?? Is she your girlfriend or something??? Plz, I’m better looking than her; she’s like a 5 when I’m a 10.
-But whatever, it’s your loss.
I blink. What the fuck? What does Briar have to do with this? What’s up with women comparing each other?
But I couldn’t help but feel the spark of annoyance when Barbara called herself better-looking. Why did she feel the need to insult her like that? Anyone with eyes can see that Briar is fucking beautiful.
Annoying and a crazy psycho, but beautiful.
Shit.
I shouldn’t be thinking of her like that.
Shaking my head, I get up and start my morning routine of coffee, showering, and then changing to go for my run. I know I won’t see Barbara today, but will Briar be there?
I hope not.
I hear my phone vibrating with a text notification and groan. What does Barbara want now? I put my workout clothes on before grabbing my phone and swiping it open. I suck in a breath at the text.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Hi ;) Did you end things with Wannabe Barbie?
ME:
-Who?
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Dollar Store Barbie.
ME:
-What the actual fuck, Briar.
CRAZY MIGRAINE
-Knock-off Barbie?
ME:
-Stop being rude and delete my number, Briar. I’m serious.
-And stay away from my love life.
CRAZY MIGRAINE
-Impossible to do when I am the love of your life ;)
I scowl.
Crazy, annoying little shit.
She sends me another text.
CRAZY MIGRAINE
-If you don’t end things with her now, Rurik, I will visit her and decorate her bougie ass walls with the beautiful color of dark red. And I won’t need to buy new paint because her body produces the exact color I need just fine.
I stare at her text. What the fuck is wrong with her? Is she actually a psychopath? Does she think this way? She’s joking. She must be.
There’s no way anyone would just text anyone like that and not worry about getting in trouble. I glare at her message again and sigh.
ME:
-Not that it’s any of your business, but I broke things off before things could continue.
-But I did it because I wanted to, not because of you.
There. I don’t know why I felt I had to let her know; it’s seriously none of her business. But hopefully, that’ll satisfy her enough that she’ll finally ignore me throughout the day.
Wishful thinking, I know.
I place my phone in my armband and put on my headphones before leaving my apartment. I know I will see Briar on my run; I always do. So I’m hoping that using these big headphones will give me an excuse to show that I can’t hear her and, therefore, easily ignore her when she comes.
*-*-*-*
She never showed up.
It”s not that I was looking for her. I was able to go through my entire run this morning because she wasn’t there to distract me. Still, I couldn’t help but feel distracted anyway because I kept looking behind my back, thinking she would pop out of nowhere or throw a rock at my head.
I can’t help but scowl at nothing as my mind starts raging. I’m in my second bedroom, which turned into my art studio, where I picked up a blank canvas and supplies. I don’t know what I will paint; I only need something to keep my hands and thoughts busy.
Only I can’t because of a fucking migraine that keeps making her way into my head.
With a frustrated sigh, I dip my brush into the paint and focus on the canvas before me. My strokes start methodically, making sure the colors blend in to create the texture I want. As minutes pass, I get a vague idea of how this would turn out. I”ve been doing landscapes and sketches lately, but what if I paint a portrait of Mum? Mother’s Day is coming; maybe Mum would appreciate it. I dip my brush into yellow and pause, frowning at the color.
It’s a good thing Briar isn’t here. She might use this color and ruin my painting again.
For fucks sake, why the hell did she feel the need to shove her way into my life? I was doing fine with my life and keeping things in order for the unavoidable future I’d have to face. I was fine being alone; I was fine having only a few close friends; I was fine being the nice, sweet senator”s stepson; I was fine just painting whatever the hell I wanted.
So why the hell am I thinking about the crazy woman?
I should be happy that I haven’t seen her today, right?
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I focus on the canvas and swipe my arm; splashes of color hit the canvas, reminding me of Briar’s yellow splatter again. Every time that woman continues to linger in my thoughts, the more I beat up my canvas with paint. Briar’s face swirls in my mind, mixing with the colors, creating a chaotic mess of things.
Fuck her.
Fuck that crazy woman.
Who the hell does she think she is?
How dare she threaten me! I can date whoever the hell I want. How dare she try to barge into my life, demanding things when I”ve made it clear countless times that I have no interest in her. How dare she make my heart stutter every time I think about her? My heart is fragile enough as it is. How dare she think she has any ownership over it? And how bloody dare she continue to invade my thoughts when I just want to forget everyone and everything.
How fucking dare she.
Redness slowly creeps into the corners of my vision, causing me to pause. I can feel my pulse quickening and my blood pressure rising, so I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
Calm down, asshole.
Breathe.
You’re good.
Once I have my emotions under control, I open my eyes and stare at what I”ve just created. It’s as if my mind has been splattered onto the canvas. Swirls of red, green, yellow, blue, and black clash and blend in unpredictable patterns, mirroring the chaos in my head.
I swallow hard.
This is probably the most chaotic, messy, and unique abstract painting I’ve ever created. I don’t think I’ve ever let loose and painted something like this before.
It’s because you were thinking of her.
I growl, my fingers tightening on the brush I’m still holding.
No. I did this because of me, not because of her. Me.
There is no her. There can’t be.
I hear my phone vibrate, and I immediately wipe my hands clean of paint and swipe my phone open. My thoughts finally mellow out when I see my mum”s invitation to have dinner with her at her favorite restaurant.
Sighing, I send her a quick text confirming I will see her before dropping my phone back on the coffee table and focusing back on my canvas. After staring at it for a few seconds, I can’t help the groan escaping me as I pick up my phone again and dial Oscar.
“Hey, man!” Oscar’s voice greets me. Feminine voices converse in the background, and I have to force myself not to ask if Briar is with them.
“Hey.” My voice sounds hoarse. I clear my throat and sigh as I reluctantly say, “I think I have another painting I want to include in my next showcase.”
*-*-*-*
“I haven’t seen you in so long, sweetheart. Tell me, what’s new with you?”
I swallow a bite of my muffin and grimace at my mum. “Nothing. I have another art showcase planned for the future, but there’s no set date yet.”
“That’s exciting!” My mum’s face brightens with excitement.
My mum and I have a very close relationship. She’s my best friend and the first person I go to whenever I need to rant and talk. My biological dad left us when I was still a toddler, and ever since then, it’s been just me and her against the world. Until her new husband, Philip Greene, who happens to be a senator here, came into our lives and forced us to move to the States. We’ve been living here for years now, and we’ve only been able to visit home twice since then.
If this second art showcase is as successful as the last one, I can buy her tickets so we can go home and see our family again. Not that I don’t consider Philip family; he’s been amazing and a great cook. That’s how my mum fell for him in the first place, which is funny.
“Yeah,” I smile back before shrugging. “It’s alright. Hopefully, this second time around, I’ll do well.”
“Don’t doubt yourself,” Mum pats my arm. “So, tell me. Who is she?”
I frown, “Huh?”
“You keep glancing at your phone and letting out these sighs every time there isn’t a text.” Her brows raise as a knowing smile quirks her lips. “Tell me, sweetheart. Who’s distracting my son?”
I chuckle, “No one, Mum.”
I didn’t even realize I was doing that. Who am I even waiting for? No one. I’m not thinking of anyone. Mum is just such a romantic.
She continues to stare at me, clearly not believing me. But then she shrugs and says lightly, “Okay, okay. I thought you mentioned someone you were chatting with online a few days ago. You can always tell me everything.”
Barbara isn’t someone worth talking about.
Briar...
Fuck. Stop thinking about her, idiot.
I clear my throat and smile, “Shall I get the waitress’s attention to take our order?”
She immediately nods, focusing on the menu, “Yes! I’m so hungry.”
I catch the waitress’s eye and nod, signaling we’re ready to order. As she approaches us, I lower my arm and smile at my mom. Glancing down at the menu, I wait my turn while my mom asks questions about a dish.
A prickling sensation heats up on the back of my neck as I listen to them. Frowning, I rub my neck, but the weird feeling intensifies. I glance up and turn around, my gaze skimming through the people around us.
That familiar lurch in my chest hits me again.
She wouldn’t be here... She”s not here...
“Rurik, sweetheart?”
I whirl around to look at my mum and the waitress watching me.
“It’s your turn,” My mum says, slightly concerned.
I blink. Shit.
“Uh, yeah, sorry,” I quickly choose a random dish from the menu and smile politely as I look up, “Chocolate chip pancakes, please. Thank you.”
As we gather our menus to hand them over to the waitress, I still can’t shake that annoying feeling of being watched.
My phone vibrates, and I immediately grab it. My eyes widen at the text message.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Why are you smiling at her like that?
What. The. Fuck. I look up and turn around, my eyes frantically looking around to locate her. I knew I was being watched, and I knew it was her!
“Rurik? You okay, sweetheart?” I can hear my mum’s voice asking with concern.
“Yup!” I say, clearing my throat as I continue looking.
Where the hell is she? My phone vibrates again, and I whirl around to look at it.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Did you forget that you’re mine?
-Keep smiling at her like that, and I’ll break her adorable face.
I let out a string of curses, and my mum nearly chokes on her water.
“What is wrong, Rurik?” she asks, dabbing herself and looking around. “Tell me this instant.”
“Sorry, Mum, just my boss asking me to come in for a shift this evening,” I lie through my teeth.
She believes it, and it makes me feel like a shitty son.
“Ignore it,” she scoffs. “You’re off today, and we’re busy keeping your mother company.”
I nod, deciding to ignore Briar’s texts. Seconds later, my phone vibrates again.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Are you ignoring me?
-You are!
-Angel, that’s rude.
-You’re hurting my feelings :(
-Just kidding, I don’t have any feelings.
-Except for you. Although, my feelings for you are probably inappropriate to mention in front of your mom.
-Ooh, are those chocolate chip pancakes?!
-The way you’re licking the chocolate from your lips is doing things to me, angel. Stop it.
-Or keep going if you’re imagining my taste instead.
I grit my teeth and text her back.
ME:
-Leave me the hell alone.
I turn off my phone entirely and shove it inside my pocket. If she continues to text me, that’s on her. I won’t read or reply to them any longer. Maybe then she’ll take a hint and leave me alone.
Clearing my throat, I pick up my silverware and begin shoving my face with pancakes, wiping my mouth instead of licking them this time.
“If you’re annoyed with work that much, maybe quit? You can ask for a full-time position at the gallery instead,” my mum says, still thinking work was bugging me.
I swallow hard and nod, “Yeah, mum. The grocery store is just draining.”
I mean, technically, I’m not lying. Customer service jobs are fucking tiring with the different sorts of people we encounter every day. But she doesn’t need to know that’s not what’s irritating me.
As I enjoy my time with my mum, I can”t shake the feeling of being watched again. This time, I have no doubt who it is.