Chapter 13
Rurik
I slowly open my eyes, feeling the prickling heat from the sun shining down my face.
What the…?
I blink, staring at the window.
How and when did I go to bed? The last thing I remember was —
Fuck.
I sit up, letting the blanket fall to my lap. I frown and look around my bedroom, seeing nothing has been touched.
Did Briar carry me herself? Why did she leave?
Memories of last night come crashing in, and I can”t help but groan out of embarrassment. Fuck, did she leave because I fell asleep after I orgasmed? It was that good that I felt completely tired. I was so tired that my heart also stopped.
Literally.
Fuck, I need to visit my doctor for that monthly check-up.
I sigh, my mind going back to Briar. It was weird having her inside my place. No one ever comes in here. Not even Oscar or Mum. My apartment is my safe space; it”s a place where I can unwind and just be me.
So why the fuck didn”t I freak out when Briar walked inside? Why did seeing her rummaging through my kitchen like some nosey busybody feel so… right?
I don”t understand it.
I have a fucking murderer in my safe space!
Briar”s face appears in my thoughts. Fuck, she”s so beautiful. She”s so beautiful that when she kissed me, I didn”t stop her.
Maybe because you’ve been dying to do the same.
I scoff at the unwanted thought. But I still can”t believe what happened last night. I can’t believe we both let it go that far. I can still remember the feeling of her lips around my cock, and the way she sucked me dry.
My dick twitches at the memory, and I immediately glare down at it. “Stop that right now.”
My dick responds by hardening.
“You fucking traitor,” I snap at it, throwing the blanket off of me and getting out of bed. “That will never happen again.”
I spot my phone charging on the bedside table and grab it. I swipe it open and am immediately greeted with text messages from Briar.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Good morning! I hope you slept well xx
-You like the Xs I included? I noticed you British people love adding those. They mean kisses, right?
-Awwww, well here’s some more xxxxxxxxxxxxx
ME:
-I”m Scottish.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-??
-But Scotland is part of the United Kingdom. Aren’t you technically British?
ME:
-I consider myself Scottish, Briar.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-What’s the difference??
I glare at the text message, my thumb at the ready to educate the fuck out of this ignorant American woman on why I consider myself Scottish and not British — Fuck technicalities.
But I don’t do that.
I just take a deep breath to control my annoyance and reply.
ME:
-You’re a fucking brat.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-I’m your brat.
ME:
-You’re not my anything.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-But I want to be yours.
ME:
-I am not interested.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Really? That’s weird. Last night, you sure acted as if you were definitely interested.
-Which is perfect for you because as I previously stated, I want to be yours ;)
-I’ll keep fucking repeating it if I have to until it manifests.
ME:
-What the fuck are you on about, crazy?
-Also, you’re not my type.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Well, I want to be yours.
ME:
-Seriously, Briar, last night was a mistake. I never want us to do that again. Do you understand me?
-Delete my number.
I watch as my messages are sent, only for them to be marked as ”Read” immediately. The three loading dots appear, indicating she”s about to text something back.
I wasn’t lying to her when I said last night was a mistake. It was. I never meant for it to go that far, but I can’t let that happen again.
The three loading dots persist.
Ten seconds pass, and it is still loading.
Another 5 seconds tick by.
Jesus.
Is she writing a fucking novel?
I’m about to message her again and demand that she delete my number, but she finally responds.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-I want to be yours.
It took her that long to write the same thing? Is she fucking kidding me?
She’s fucking crazy. A psychopath. Insane.
I stare at the text message. It”s such a cute thing to say to someone if they were anything special to each other, but this? I don’t know if I want to cry out of frustration because of how annoying she is or grin because she knows how to stroke an ego. Does she really want me this bad?
No.
She’s crazy.
The intelligent thing to do would be to ignore her advances until she grows bored of me. Yeah, that’s it. I may be losing control of where my life is heading, but when it comes to this shit? I’m in control.
Sorry, Briar, but we’re not good for each other.
*-*-*-*
“So this is where you’ve been running.”
I slow down the treadmill so I’m power-walking instead of running. I turn my headphones off and glare at the person who interrupted me.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I hiss at Briar.
Without meaning to, my gaze flickers over her ensemble. Her dark curls are swept back in a carefree bun. She’s wearing a snug, dark gray sweatshirt, which reveals a glimpse of her belly button, paired with sleek black biker shorts.
How she can make gym clothes look sexy as fuck confuses me — and also pisses me off.
She blinks at me as she walks on the treadmill beside me. “I’m working out? Just like you?”
“But why here? There are plenty of other cardio machines. Go use them instead, and leave me the hell alone.”
Feeling on the brink of snapping, I quickly replace my headphones, drowning out Briar’s endless chatter with music as I up the treadmill”s speed and transition into a jog. Despite my health”s fragility, my doctor stresses the significance of physical activity. Thankfully, I found a balance with my jogging routine that seemed to be working well.
After completing five kilometers, I slam my finger down to reduce the treadmill”s speed. It had taken me about 30 minutes to reach that distance, and I”m genuinely surprised that Briar hadn”t interrupted me. I thought she had finally listened to me and left me alone in peace.
However, when I glance beside me, a groan escapes my lips as I spot her power walking on an incline. She turns her head, flashes me a grin, and winks.
Fucking brat.
Not wanting her to ruin my workout, I look straight ahead and continue power-walking to start cooling down. I glance at my watch and raise a brow.
Wow, it’s been 5 minutes, and she hasn’t tried to speak to me again. Okay, maybe she is here to work out and not fuck with me.
“Hey, angel?”
For fucks sake.
I ignore her, pretending to stare out the window ahead of us as I walk.
“I had a lot of fun last night.”
Still going to ignore her.
“I loved watching your face when you came undone. Swallowing your hot cum after I sucked you dry would have to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Jesus. Fuck.
I shoot her a fierce look. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
She raises her chin as if she didn’t just fucking talk like that in public.
I snap, “We didn’t do shit.” I glance around and feel a sense of relief that no one is near us.
Briar’s eyes narrow dangerously, “I seem to remember differently.”
“Well, I don’t remember anything.”
“That’s impossible,” She snorts, “Or, maybe you’re telling some truth. You did pass out immediately after you came while you fucked my mouth.”
“Shut your mouth, Briar.” I can feel my face heating up. “I don’t know what sick mind games you’re trying to play, but we did nothing. Okay? Nothing.”
She stops her treadmill and turns her whole body to face me. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
“You know, this whole push-and-pull game you’re playing is getting fucking old, Rurik.” She leans forward so only I can hear. “One of these days, you’re going to push me away for real, and it’ll be too late.”
“Good,” I retort back, feeling like a complete asshole already. But I can’t stop the awful word vomit from heaving out of me. “That’s exactly what I want! Kindly fuck off and leave me alone. You said you want to be mine? Well, guess what, that’ll never happen.”
Her body becomes rigid, and her eyes blaze with anger, offering me a glimpse of the storm raging within her.
Shut the fuck up, asshole. Stop talking!
But do I pay attention to the warnings my conscience voiced?
Hell no.
“You’re a disgusting murderer,” I add like a fucking idiot. “I can never want someone like you.”
Out of nowhere, my treadmill comes to an abrupt stop. I suck in a breath, nearly losing my balance from the unexpected halt.
What the fuck?
She had hit the emergency button on my treadmill! I whirl around, thinking she”s about to beat the shit out of me — and I probably would have let her — only to find that she”s already walking away, not even sparing a glance in my direction.
I blink, staring after her. Instead of a sense of satisfaction that she finally, finally left, I can”t shake that awful feeling that I may have fucked up big time.
*-*-*-*
It only takes me half a day before the sticky feeling of regret consumes me. For the first time, I”m the one texting her first.
ME:
-Hey. I just thought I should apologize for what I said this morning. I didn’t mean any of it, and I apologize if I offended you.
An hour later, she leaves me on ”Read”. I wait, hoping she will reply, but even those three loading dots never appear. I text her again.
ME:
-You’re not disgusting, Briar. I’m sorry I said that.
-I wasn’t in the right mental space this morning, and seeing you just drove me over the edge.
When I wake up the next day, I immediately reach for my phone to check for notifications. A heavy feeling settles on my chest as I notice she hasn”t replied. I should do what I keep asking her to do and leave her alone.
But I’m a fucking masochist, so I message her again.
ME:
-I’m sorry.
It’s been days since I sent the last text, and I’m losing my fucking mind. Why? Why am I feeling like this? I should be happy, right? I can finally focus on myself. Go back to painting and trying to remain as healthy as I can, fucking stay in my bubble of ignorance.
But I can’t.
“Hey.”
I blink, looking up at my friend.
Oscar smiles sadly as if he knows what”s messing with my mind.
It gets to the point that Oscar notices my behavior. I don’t want to tell him anything that happened between me and Briar, so I just lie and say I”m seeing someone and am disappointed that it didn’t work out.
“Are you still hung up on that girl you told me about? Barbara?” Oscar asks while we”re closing down the gallery.
When the place reopened, I jumped at the chance to help him. I missed working here and needed something to distract my spiraling mind.
“Yeah,” I lie, sighing. “Same girl.”
I almost forgot who Barbara is.
“Come to my place tonight,” Oscar says, hand on my shoulder. “Seriously, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone at home right now. Hang out with me and Natalie. I’m having a couple of guys over for drinks and hanging out, watching dumb videos, doing whatever.”
I force a thankful grin, “Just you and some guys?”
“You consider Natalie to be one of the guys, right?” Oscar asks, grinning back.
Is Briar going to be there? This is a bad idea. I should just go home.
“Sure,” I blurt out. “Yeah, that would be fun. Thank you.”
*-*-*-*
It was not fun.
The reason? Fucking Briar.
As I trail Oscar into his house after work, we are met with a spectacle straight from a college movie — a bustling party that reminds me of those infamous frat gatherings. The air reverberates with thumping music, discarded pizza boxes scattered about, and a sea of unfamiliar faces fills every nook and cranny of the space.
I turn to Oscar and mockingly say, “A few friends, right?”
Oscar’s eyes widen as he looks around his place. He focuses on a small puddle from a beer can that is knocked over. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, his jaw ticking. I swear I can hear his teeth grating.
“Oscar!”
We both turn around to see Natalie rushing to him with an apologetic look. At the sight of her, his features soften. He opens his arms, and I watch her throw herself in them.
“What the hell is this?” Oscar groans as he wraps his arms around her.
She looks up at him and grimaces. “I swear, I only invited Harry, Brandon, and Jake.”
“Then who the fuck are these people?” Oscar asks, waving his hand around.
“We went to the store to grab some snacks and ran into Mia. Brandon invited her. She invited Rem, who invited someone, who invited another, who invited—”
“Strangers,” Oscar interrupts with a glare. “You mean to tell me my place is filled with strangers? Natalie,” He sighs, closing his eyes. “This can go wrong so fast. We have…” He quickly glances in my direction before lowering his voice. “Stuff. We have stuff in places some drunk idiot can accidentally run into.”
I clear my throat, looking at the floor. I’m going to assume this stuff means criminal stuff. I look away, uncomfortable with the two bickering before me.
I slowly walk away from them to continue their little argument, searching for something I can eat that isn’t pizza on the floor. I spot an unopened box and a can of soda. I can leave now, but why? I only go to parties because there’s free food.
I find an empty chair in the corner of the living room and quickly sit on it. After a few bites of the pizza, I open the can and drink from it.
My eyes lift as I put the drink down and swallow, and at the same time, my eyes clash with gold-speckled caramel eyes.
I nearly choke on the soda.
The burning sensation causes me to cough until my breathing returns to normal.
What the fuck is she doing here?
Briar looks at me as if she”s also surprised to see me. After I straighten up from my seat, her eyes narrow into slits before turning her attention away from me.
Following her gaze, I”m slammed with the all-too-familiar surge of fury rising within me again. However, this time, it isn”t aimed at her.
But to this guy who has his arm around her.
Who the fuck is he, Briar?
Who. The. Fuck. Is. He.
I could take a page from the Crazy Briar book and walk up to them, pretending we were all best friends. But no, I don’t do that because I’m too fucking pissed.
Why is she grinning up at him like that? Also, why the hell does he have to have his stupid arm around her? He better back off of her. I”ve never wanted to punch someone”s face off before. But I guess there”s always a first time for everything.
Wait… Oh no, are they a thing?
Fuck.
A sickening feeling pulls something in my chest, and I feel like I”m seconds away from puking. Instead of looking away or leaving the party, I text her.
ME:
-You moved on fast.
Briar”s brows furrow as her phone illuminates with a notification. She glances down, reading the text, then abruptly pauses. Her head snaps up, and she shoots me a glare. Without bothering to reply, she shoves her phone into her back pocket and resumes her conversation with the big idiot.
What a brat.
Like the mature, super calm, and collected man that I am, I send her another text.
ME:
-Have I been replaced? Wow, you’re over me already?
Yes, I know. I had no right messaging her after the way I treated her days ago. I really hate how I seem clingy toward her.
I’m not. I don’t give a shit. I shouldn’t give a shit.
But I can’t help but feel pissed and used. She gave me my first ever blow job, swallowed my cum, and then when she finally got what she wanted from me, she was done? She decides to leave me alone finally?
Yeah, okay, it’s my fault she’s avoiding me.
But I did apologize! I can’t apologize to her in person if she’s going to keep avoiding me as if I carried some disease that’ll make her quarantine for years.
I watch Briar whisper something against his ear, and I nearly throw my empty soda can at the idiot’s head.
She rolls her eyes at whatever he”s saying and giggles. My eyes narrow at her, noticing that her body isn”t even facing him but at me.
She”s not even paying any attention to you, asshole.
The idiot has the nerve to lean his face closer to hers, and she teasingly slaps his chest. Giggling.
Okay, fuck this.
I didn’t even want to come here in the first place.
I get up from the chair, making sure not to look in her direction. I walk to the kitchen and find Oscar and Natalie whispering. As soon as they hear me coming, they stop. When they realize it”s me, they fully relax.
“Oh, good. It’s just you,” Natalie sighs before turning to Oscar. “How could we get rid of everyone else? Call Dad and have one of his men pretend to be a cop?”
Oscar raises a brow. “That’s not a bad idea. It’ll scare them, and it won”t hurt to have backup just in case.”
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I blurt out.
“Up the stairs and the last door on the left,” Oscar says distractedly, keeping his eyes on Natalie.
I thank him and follow his directions. I just want to leave this spontaneous party. A part of me feels like I should stay to help Oscar get rid of the riffraffs, but I don”t want to be anywhere near that irritating woman. Fucking walking migraine.
She seriously thinks she could barge into my life and — what the fuck!
The moment I step inside the bathroom, something slams into my back forcefully, propelling me forward. I stagger inside, barely managing to keep my balance, before swiftly turning around to ask the fucker what his problem is.
Only it isn’t a guy. A chill runs down my spine at the sight of her. Her features contort with unmistakable anger and frustration as she advances toward me with determined strides.
”Briar?” My reflexes kick in, and I instinctively raise my hands in front of me. “What’s wrong—”
“Shut the fuck up,” She snaps before seizing my lips with hers in a sudden, aggressive kiss.
I let out a sharp breath as my back slams against the wall. A groan releases my lips as she trails to my neck and nips on my Adam’s apple before focusing back on my lips.
“Briar—” I try to speak but can barely think what to say.
My head is too foggy with lust, excitement, and… Fuck.
I’m going crazy, aren’t I? I can’t possibly be missing this.
“I said…” She whispers harshly, though her touch is anything but harsh.
As her lips fervently claim mine, her hands explore every inch of me with deliberate slowness. From tracing my abs to caressing my shoulders, arms, and chest, it’s as if she wants to commit every detail of me to memory.
“Shut up, Rurik.” She then pauses, pulling back only slightly so our lips barely touch. “Unless you’re going to tell me that you miss me?”
I scoff, lying through my teeth. “No.”
She lifts a defiant brow, her expression twisting into a wicked smirk, the fury in her gaze melting into mischief.
“Oh?” She mockingly asks.
I open my mouth to lie some more, trying to gain back some control, when I feel her hand wrap around my hardening dick. To my absolute fucking horror, my eyes roll to the back of my skull, and an unrestrained groan escapes my lips.
Shit.
I open my eyes and glare down at her, only to be greeted by a shit-eating grin from this beautiful monster. Her hand continues to stroke me and fuck me… I jerk myself plenty of times, but when she touches me?
Holyfuckingshit, I need to think of something off-putting, or else I might embarrass myself and come right then and there.
Pineapple on pizza, people chewing with their mouths open, Barbara, literal shit…
I hear the sound of a zipper being pulled down, and before I can even clear my thoughts, my boxers are shoved down, and a soft hand grabs my dick.
Jesus Fucking…
“Lovely to see you again, Rurik’s magnificent dick.” Briar purrs, looking down between us as she roughly strokes me. “Aww, are you leaking for me? It’s okay, I missed you too.”
I make a deep guttural sound as she continues stroking my dick up and down, her lips back on my neck and sucking hard on my skin as if she’s trying to make her mark. As if she’s trying to claim me.
“You’re insane,” I breathe out, my hips thrusting in the same rhythm as her strokes. I have one hand on her throat and another tangled through her hair. “You’re a psychopath,” I pull her hair, earning a satisfied groan from her. “You’re fucking deranged,” My fingers around her neck tighten, and I feel her breath hitching against my skin. She grins and licks my jaw. “You’re a walking nightmare, Briar.”
She pulls her hand away from my dick and licks my Adam’s apple, smirking. “I’m starting to think giving compliments is your love language, angel.”
I grab onto her shoulders and whirl us around, my turn to shove her against the wall this time. She gasps in surprise, wincing at the impact of my shove.
Good.
Maybe it’s time she gets a taste of her own medicine.
Before I can even think of my actions, I pull her head toward me and crash my lips to hers. Owning her, bruising her mouth, biting every little skin my teeth can reach, channeling all of my frustration, anger — and yes, fuck, fucking cravings — into her.
It doesn’t help that she tastes so damn wonderful.
How is that possible?
She tastes like temptation, sweet berries and dark chocolate, and fucking destruction. She tastes like someone who can completely ruin, shatter, and unravel me.
And I can’t stop.
“I hate you, Briar,” I growl against her lips, my hands wrapping around her neck. I can feel her pulse beating against my thumb as I gently squeeze. I bite her bottom lip. “God, I hate you so much.”
I should just end it now. End this migraine. End her.
I hate that she’s making me feel this way, I hate that she’s been consuming my every waking thought, I hate that she’s been making me feel so violently angry, I hate that she’s bringing out this unknown part of me, I hate that she tastes so addictive, I hate that she’s fucking my life up when I had it carefully planned out, and I hate that she let that idiot wrap his arms around her.
My head is so hazy I don’t notice she has let go of me completely.
Then, quick as lightning, she maneuvers her hands between my arms, forcing them apart until I have no choice but to let go of her neck. Before I can react, she seizes me by the shoulders and shoves me backward until the back of my legs hits the toilet.
“Good,” She murmurs as she slams the toilet shut with the lid using her foot. She shoves me down on top of it, locks the door, turns around, and grins. “Because I’m this close to pushing you across that thin line.”
Any insults I have ready to launch at her face disappear into the ether when she drops to her knees before me.