Chapter 20
Briar
RURIK MY ANGEL:
-I warned you, Briar. Now, I’m muting you.
This was the last text I got from him a couple of days ago.
Two fucking days ago!
I’m so tempted to visit him at his work at the bougie grocery store since I know he’s working today. Or, at least, he should be.
But I won’t do that because I don’t want to appear desperate for his attention even though I am.
I’m not just desperate. I’m starving for it.
I had a taste of Rurik, and now I’m greedy.
Did I stalk him on social media to get my Rurik fill? Yes. But not hearing from him for even a couple of hours was messing with my head.
It’s becoming quite problematic.
I scroll through the text messages I sent him.
ME:
-When you muted me, did you mean to silence me?
-Good morning, angel! Hope you’re doing well. I went to this painting class with Nat where you’re allowed to drink booze, and I immediately thought of you. I’d be interested in going with you if you are!
-Wanna go stargazing sometime? I’ve always wanted to play outdoors ;)
-Angeeeellll. Baaaabyyyy.
-It’s been a day, Rurik. I’m not ashamed to say I went to visit you at your work at the grocery store, but they said you were a no-show. What’s up?
-Okay, it’s been 12 hours. I’m worried. Where are you?
-It’s been 2 days. Please call me when you get this.
I called him after the last text, but it went straight to voicemail. I stopped texting him soon after the last text because I realized how pathetic I was being.
Rurik had set boundaries.
He said we weren’t friends or in a relationship, yet here I was, spamming his inbox like some crazy girlfriend. Am I crossing them already?
Fuck me, I am, aren’t I?
Why would he want you when you’re going to end up killing him? Just like you did with Amaura.
Oh, fuck. Not again.
It’s been a while, little demon in my head.
Leave him alone. You know he’s right. You’re a murderer.
I close my eyes, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. But that annoying demon voice in my head keeps talking, and I can’t shut it up.
You killed Amaura, and you’re on your way to kill him too.
Shut up.
He sees you for what you are — an awful person who uses a fake persona to hide.
The blackness I became too familiar with starts creeping into the corner of my vision, and I immediately bolt to the bathroom.
Control. I need to get back control.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, where is it, where did I last put it?!
Is he next on your murder list?
I found what I was looking for and suck in a deep breath, feeling the sharpness pierce my skin. The blackness slowly disappears as I watch the blood seep out of me again.
My phone buzzes, pulling me away from my thoughts and the sight of my blood.
Shit, it might be Rurik!
I shove what I was using back into the cabinet and stick my wrist under the sink — Wait… my wrist?
Fuck.
FUCK.
I didn’t even think. I didn’t mean to cut my wrist. I just… I needed release.
Fuck! The wrist is the most exposed spot, and Rurik will notice it.
My phone buzzes again, and I quickly dab the cut with tissue paper before answering it and putting it on the loudspeaker.
“Hello?” I sang, my hand shaky as I peel a bandaid to cover my wrist.
“Briar!” My best friend’s screams echo in the bathroom. Desperate and in tears.
I freeze, feeling my body locking up.
“Briar!”
I immediately grab the phone, “Nat? Nat! What’s wrong?”
Oh god… What if it’s Rurik? I don’t know what to do if something happened to him.
“It’s Oscar!” She cries out, “Oscar never came home last night. We checked the security footage from the gallery, and some assholes knocked him out in the parking lot and took him!”
Fuck.
Dread washes over me.
“We’ll find him, Nat. Don’t worry.” Then I dare ask, “Was… Was Rurik with him?”
“No,” Nat says, “No, he wasn’t. Rurik was supposed to work with him last night, but I don’t know what happened. Just… Briar, I need you.”
“Send me the coordinates, and I’ll meet you there,” I say, already gearing up.
*-*-*-*
As soon as I arrive at the spot, Nat throws herself at me. I can feel her tears pooling on my neck as I hold her. I look over her shoulder to see Mr. Rogers looking disheveled as he’s speaking to one of his men.
“What’s happening?” I ask once Nat pulls away from me. “Update me with what’s happening right now.”
Nat swallows hard before nodding. I can tell she’s trying to shift her emotions and treat this like our usual work, but I’m sure it’s hard when it involves someone she cares about.
As soon as she finishes explaining, the blackness I felt earlier turns to crimson red. All I can picture is blood. Not mine, not Nat’s, not even Oscar’s… But the assholes who kidnapped him.
Oscar is like a big brother to me; he’s part of my family. Someone is hurting a member of my family.
“Do we know what the motive is?” I ask Mr. Rogers, who came to us while Nat explained everything.
He shakes his head, looking solemn. “The audio in the footage wasn’t working. But Oscar was putting up a fight. Another CCTV caught the car while they drove past it, and we could read the license plate.” He nods at the man he spoke to. “One of my men is tracking it down now.”
“What’s the plan?” I ask, rubbing Nat’s back as she tries to keep her shit together.
“Do what you girls do best.” Mr. Rogers answers. “But you’ll have us as backup.”
Before we could say anything, the man tracking the car interrupts us.
“We got them. They’re in an empty parking lot behind an abandoned mall.”
As soon as we got the location information, we made a quick plan and bolted out of there. The plan is to drive over there, with Nat and me in one car and Mr. Rogers and his team in another. We assess the situation before saying the magic word when we need help, knowing we can hear and speak to each other in our earpieces.
Immediately after me and Nat pull into the dark parking lot, we step out of the car quietly. Seconds later, we are greeted with high beams aiming right at us.
“Dude,” I complain, lifting my hand to cover my eyes. “There is such a thing as too much lighting. Turn that off. I don’t want you guys to see my zits and blackheads.”
“We knew you two would come,” Asshole #1 says, walking in front of the lights.
Me and Nat glance at each other before looking back at him.
“Sir, if you wanted our attention or Nat’s attention, you could have just called,” I say, feeling for my gun behind my back.
“Lift your hand, or I will shoot him!” A random guy next to him says.
Shit, I didn’t even see him there. That fucking high beam is literally blinding me.
“You know, it’s rude to have your high beams on when there’s someone in front of you,” I snap before immediately taking my gun and shooting the lights off.
Nat already shot the random guy by the time I was done. As soon as our eyes adjusted to the darkness, I notice it was just Asshole #1.
“Huh,” I say out loud, hoping the team can hear me in their earpiece. “There’s only one of you?”
“Alright, let”s hurry this up. Where’s Oscar?” Nat asks.
“Your husband?” The man says as he walks behind the car and opens the trunk.
Grunts and groans are heard before he slams the trunk closed, revealing Oscar. He looks tired, bruised, and well-banged up. But his eyes spark back to life when he sees Nat and me.
“Oscar,” Nat whisper with relief.
“You’ll get him back if you do as I say.” The man says, pulling Oscar with him.
“Or,” I aim my gun at him. “I could just shoot you.”
“Do it, and I’ll press this button, and the car will explode, killing all of us.” He grins so smugly, holding up a device in his hand.
“What do you want?” Nat sighs, crossing her arms. She looks bored out of her mind, but I don’t miss the subtle shakiness of her hands.
I don”t blame her. If this was reversed and Rurik was put in a dangerous situation, the world wouldn”t even exist because of my wrath.
“An eye for an eye.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means your father, Drake Rogers, killed my brother. You might remember him. Josh De Luca?”
“You mean the one who kidnapped my mom when I was a kid?” Nat asks. “And killed my uncle?”
As Nat continues to distract him, I glance at Oscar, scanning him from head to toe to ensure he”s truly okay. He must have felt my gaze because he looks over at me. His eyes dart over to the guy holding him and then back to me, his brows rising quickly and then back down. I frown, unsure of what he”s trying to convey.
Yes, Oscar. Yes, I know the bad guy is with you. That’s why we’re here.
But he quickly shakes his head once. His eyes dart downward, back to the man and then back to me, with his brows quirking up again.
I stare at Oscar briefly while Nat is still egging the man on.
Oscar’s eyes slide to my gun, then taps the man’s hand that’s holding him by his collar. My eyes widen for a second before nodding with understanding.
I guess I’m not the only crazy one in this group.
He nods back before suddenly jabbing the man’s throat, forcing him to let go of Oscar. As the man recoils, I inhale deeply to steady my breathing, then swiftly aim and shoot at his hand. The man screams, dropping the device. Without hesitation, Oscar seizes the opportunity, snatching the device from the ground and wresting the gun from the man’s grip, pointing it back at him.
Everything becomes a blur when I signal Mr. Rogers and his team to come. The man keeps yelling and cursing at all of us. Turns out, Mr. Rogers did kill his brother, but that”s because the man threatened the love of his life and killed one of his closest friends. Whatever is in store for the man is up to Mr. Rogers now.
I tune out the man’s screams because I can’t tear my eyes away from Nat and Oscar.
Oscar embraces Nat tightly, her face tucked against his chest. He whispers something in her ear, brushing her hair with his fingers. I can tell Nat is crying because of the way her shoulders shake.
They pull away just to look at each other. None of them talk; they just stare at each other as if memorizing each other’s features.
They look like they care about each other.
They look like they’re in love.
Then it hits me.
I’ll never have the possibility of having whatever they have with Rurik.
I’ll never see Rurik look at me like Oscar does at Nat in public. As if he knows how fucking lucky he is to have a woman like her. As if he can’t live without her. As if they can’t live without each other.
Fuck.
Will I ever get that chance? To be looked at by someone like they would burn the world for me? That’s all I want. I just want to be someone’s chosen one.
Why does it hurt knowing I’ll never have Rurik that way? Do I want that with him? To hold his hand out in public, show everyone that he’s mine and that I’m his?
You’re already falling for him.
No, I’m not. I care about him, yeah, but I’m not in love with him.
Keep lying to yourself. It’s what you do best.
Oh, fuck off, darkness. Can’t stay away from me?
“Briar?”
I blink. My vision”s blackness clears when I see Nat and Oscar watching me. I force a grin and throw my arms around Oscar.
“I’m so happy you’re okay,” I say, “If you’re going to get kidnapped in the near future, do let us know. Especially your poor wife.”
Oscar rolls his eyes, a tired smile tugging his lips. “My bad. I’ll be sure to let you guys know in advance.”
He looks down at Nat, still clinging on to him. She stares up at him with bright eyes, her face beaming with relief and happiness.
I can’t look at them.
I tear my eyes away from the lovesick couple to see the man knocked out or dead on the ground, Mr. Rogers and his team talking amongst themselves.
“Briar?”
I look at Oscar, “Yeah?”
“Are you good?” He asks, “Shit, if I had known me getting kidnapped would silence you this long, I would have done it sooner.”
Nat slaps him on the chest, “Don’t say that shit.”
I grin at him, “Why, you miss my voice?”
Oscar just rolls his eyes before looking serious again. “Real talk. Are you okay? You keep looking around as if you’re looking for someone. Should we inform Drake about potential troubles?” He looks at Nat, “You should call your mom and aunt to ensure they’re okay. I know they’re still out in Spain, but still.”
“Dad already did,” Nat says. “Her and Aunt Jenn are fine.”
“Hey, I’m going to go.” I blurt out.
I suddenly feel like I don’t want to be here with them. I’m happy that we saved Oscar, and I do not doubt that Mr. Rogers and the team have everything under control.
Nat and Oscar look at me with concern, but I just need to go.
Like now.
“Uh… Okay,” Nat blinks, frowning. “Briar? Are you okay? You’re getting pale.”
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
“Yup!” I grin as I pull her to me. I kiss her cheek, and I say, “Go be with your man.”
Before she can say anything else, I whirl around and get into my car, driving off.
*-*-*-*
ME
-Oscar’s safely tucked away in his wife’s arms. Turns out it was just this random asshole for some petty revenge.
-Angel, where are you? Nat said you never showed up for your shift last night.
-Please call me.
-Is it me? Do you not want me to bother you anymore? I promise I won’t.
-I’ll stop.
-Just please let Oscar and Nat know you’re okay.
No texts from him yet.
I shouldn’t be this clingy this early on. We didn’t really do anything other than fuck with each other. Sure, we hung out before then. Well… By hanging out, I mean me stalking him and forcing my presence within his vicinity.
But still.
I’m going a little crazy here. Even more so than my usual craziness.
I can’t stop looking at his social media pages. He hasn’t posted anything, no stories about his most recent art project, no replies from his comment sections, nothing.
I called him again earlier when I came home. Again, it went straight to voicemail.
Fuck, either he’s laying it thick on him, ignoring me, or something’s wrong. The only reason why I’m not super freaking out right now is because Oscar told me he heard from Rurik’s mom an hour ago. He doesn’t tell me anything, only that Rurik is fine.
Fucking amazing.
Now, why won’t Rurik just reply? I’ll settle for another monosyllabic answer at this point. Should I text him again? Call him again?
No.
Why the fuck should I keep reaching out to him when it’s clear he doesn’t give a shit?
Sighing, I set my phone beside me on the couch and got up. I meant to walk over to the kitchen to make some late-night snacks, but I somehow ended up in my room. Now, I’m just staring at the painting Rurik made.
He calls it his slice of paradise.
Maybe that’s what I need—a place where the darkness can’t find me.
For a moment, I thought Rurik was becoming that. But if he keeps disappearing like this, the shit that’s happening in my head just comes back tenfold.
Like it’s threatening to do now.
What makes you think you have the right to be happy with him after what you did to Amaura?
I close my eyes, inhaling deeply to picture myself somewhere peaceful.
It’s not working.
Your fault.
Fuck.
She’s dead, and you’re alive.
I dig my nails into my palms, focusing on the stinging pain instead of that stupid voice in my head.
I exhale.
I’m fine.
I’m good.
I lie on the opposite side of my bed, my feet against the headboard and my head at the end. I inhale deeply, staring at Rurik’s paradise painting. One day, I would like to take him back there. But I want to check the place out first for myself. It may also become my safe space, besides just being near Rurik.
If he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, that’s fine. I’ll settle for his little slice of paradise.