Ill Will (Aisle and Error #2)

Prologue

My parents went all out for this party.

All out might not even be enough to describe it. Maybe over-the-top would have been a better term.

There were balloons on every available surface. The cake ordered had its own zip code and was second in size only to the massive banner hanging on the wall behind the table.

I was pretty sure this thing was bigger than our graduation, which was only a year ago. All of my family had flown in for this, as well as most of our former high school classmates. They all wanted to see the Willard twins celebrate getting one year older.

Well, twin .

“Happy birthday, Calvin!” my parents called as he walked through the door.

Everyone else followed. I’d walked in a few minutes ago and had a few people stop to congratulate me, but it was obvious who all of this was for.

Calvin was the golden child, the one Mom and Dad poured all of their energy into. He thrived whenever all of their attention was focused on him, and I did okay fading into the background.

His straight As, endless girlfriends, and vibrant social life spoke for themselves. I was doing fine just getting on the honor roll. But having a social life? Impossible.

Earlier, I’d asked Mom if this party was for him or for us. She insisted that we were both being celebrated. She even showed me that my name was on the cake.

Under Calvin’s, of course.

But it was nice that I was even on it.

“And Amy!” Mom added, pointing over to me. Eyes turned, and I had to resist the urge to look away from Calvin’s near glare when his head swiveled with the rest.

The attention didn’t last, though, because Calvin insisted we cut the cake. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed to have been passed over so quickly.

I didn’t do well with attention, especially when it was taken from Calvin. Neither did he. My brother was as prone to jealous rages as he was at being perfect in all other aspects of his life.

Mom and Dad told me it was best that they focus on him to keep the peace.

I tried to be okay with it. And I would be.

I had my one friend, Ava, who I’d even invited here today. I met her on the first day of college, and I’d always kept my brother’s identity a secret, determined to have a friend of my own. I was pretty sure she liked me now and would stick by my side rather than run to Calvin’s as everyone else had.

The fact that she’d even come to the party without me having to mention Calvin’s name spoke volumes.

That had never happened before, but I desperately hoped it would continue.

She arrived right after my shout-out, eyes wide as she searched for me. I waved her over, ready to introduce her to everyone I knew.

“Hey,” she said quietly. “Happy birthday. I got you a card.”

“Thank you,” I said, opening it immediately. She’d signed it with a happy face and her name.

And had addressed it only to me.

I looked up at her, about to ask if she’d like to meet my little sister, who was heading over to us as we spoke.

But her eyes were on the crowd.

“I also got your brother one,” she said. “Where is he?”

A lump formed in my throat.

“You know I have a brother?”

“Everyone does. He’s famous, which means you are too. In a way.”

Now I had a sinking feeling in my stomach too.

Was his card nicer than mine? Would she linger longer when she gave it to him?

No. She was my friend. I met her first. She met me first. She wouldn’t do that to me.

“He’s in the center of the room. He got cake already.”

She nodded and went to search for him.

I tried not to feel bitter as I joined at the back of the line of people to get my slice, waiting for the majority to get theirs instead of rushing with the crowd.

“Did they really make you wait in line for your own birthday cake?” my younger sister, Emma, asked. She’d been an accidental third child. Both Mom and Dad were content to give all of their attention to Calvin, and sometimes me. When she came along, they were done with the parenting thing, giving her free rein to do what she wanted.

Emma wasn’t a bad kid, but she was a newly minted angsty teenager. I’d done a lot of the childcare for her even when I’d been far too young to. At first, she’d blamed me for that, refusing my help in any kind of way. Then that anger had shifted to Mom and Dad.

She blamed them for everything these days.

“I didn’t want to go up there anyway.” I shrugged. She rolled her eyes and cut the line, loudly proclaiming that she was getting the birthday girl a slice of her own cake. I blushed and pulled her aside, waving off the glares of the other people in line. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“And yet, I did. Here you go,” she said as I grabbed the plate and fork, taking a big bite. “Fair warning, it’s chocolate.”

I grimaced when the flavor hit my tongue. “Damn. I could have sworn I asked for half vanilla.”

“They probably forgot. Like they always do with you.”

“Or they handed you the wrong piece. It’s fine. I don’t hate chocolate that much.”

“You absolutely do.”

I took another bite to prove her wrong, keeping my face straight as I chewed.

“You’re too nice,” she said.

“And you’re too angry,” I replied. “I’m fine, Emma. All I wanna do is have a relaxed birthday party.”

“Where’s your friend?”

“She had a card for Calvin.”

“ Oh. And she hasn’t come back yet?”

“She will.”

An uncomfortable silence settled over us, and I put down my fork, unable to stomach any more chocolate.

“Can I at least have the rest of the cake?”

I wordlessly handed her the plate, eyes searching for water to cleanse my palate. She told me she was going back to her room to hide out from all the noise. I’d probably be following her soon.

After grabbing a glass of water, I gulped it down until the taste of chocolate was only barely there and took a deep breath. The kitchen was quiet in the way the rest of the house wasn’t, even though I could hear the party going on in the living room.

Sometimes, being home felt like being the photographer of an event. I was the outsider, always slightly weird and quiet, while Calvin charmed anyone he was around. I thought it would get better in the anonymity of college, but he chose the same school as me and ruled things there too. He went to every party and kept his grade point average up. Whenever people said hello to me, they would follow it up by asking how or where my twin was.

I wasn’t jealous. He deserved it. But it would be nice if someone noticed me for a change.

“There you are.” A voice broke the relative silence. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

I paused with the glass halfway up to my lips. That was a man’s voice. Not just any man’s, but one who definitely should not be here.

Levi Hensen was the one person Calvin could not charm. They’d met in high school when Calvin was on the wrestling team with him. Levi was the top performer, and Calvin had tried desperately to catch up. When it didn’t work, Calvin threw a hissy fit, demanding Levi take extra time to train him.

And Levi said no.

That was the start of the decline between the two of them. Things only grew colder ever since. I never talked to Levi since he was always in the popular crowd. I wasn’t even aware he knew my name, especially since he was busy conquering the college we all went to.

Calvin had always said he wanted to take Levi down a peg and even followed him to my college to do so. So far, Levi was as vicious as he was smart. He challenged Calvin in every way and then beat him at his own game.

“I think you have the wrong person,” I said. “I’m Amy, Calvin’s sister.”

“I know.”

“And most people don’t look for me.”

“That’s a shame.”

I stared at him, his words not computing. “Is this a joke or something?”

“The only joke here is your twin brother, but he’s not in the room right now, and I couldn’t care less about him.”

“How did you get invited to his party?”

“I thought the party was for the both of you.”

“It is, but he’s the star of the show and had control of the guest list.”

Levi leaned against the counter. “If you must know, he invited me to show off.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Not really, especially since it’s also your birthday and no one seems to be lining up to talk to you.”

“You don’t know me. I don’t want people lining up.”

“How about just one person?” he asked.

“And who might that be?”

“Me. Happy birthday, Amy Willard.”

His voice curled around my name, making my skin erupt in gooseflesh. “T-thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Can I ask how you’re spending your nineteenth birthday?”

“Mostly here. And then I’ll pick a book for my book club on Monday.”

“You have the one that meets at the library every week, right?”

“I do. How did you know?”

“I tried to book one of the study rooms once, but they were all taken at the time. Mostly by people doing homework, though the one you were in was very lively. Everyone seemed to be having fun.”

“You probably caught us when we were reading a really good book. We’ve been told to quiet down a few times. Sorry you couldn’t reserve the room, though.”

“It’s not a problem. It made me finally realize there was another, far better Willard at our school.”

“Just because I’m not annoying to you doesn’t make me better.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

His eyes were on me. Only me. It did unfair things to my brain.

I wasn’t one to get much attention, especially not from men. If I did, they all wanted to get through me to Calvin.

I hadn’t gotten a gift for my birthday, but maybe whatever god above had decided to swoop in and give me this instead.

“D-do you want something to drink?” I asked. “We have water, soda. Alcohol, for some reason ...”

“Just water, thanks.”

My face was on fire as I got him what he asked for. I watched as he took the glass and drank the whole thing in one go.

How had I never realized he was good-looking? He was practically Adonis, with a symmetrical, chiseled face and dimples to die for. His dark brown hair was longer than I remembered but was casually pushed back on his head. His blue-green eyes were striking against his dark lashes.

I gulped, hoping I didn’t blow this. The last thing I’d expected for today was to be living in my very own meet-cute.

“What book are you reading right now?” he asked.

“You want to know what kind of books I’m reading?”

“Of course I do. How many have you torn through by now, a hundred?”

According to Goodreads, I’d done that this year alone. “Yeah, something like that.”

He tilted his head, a corner of his mouth quirking. “So, you have to be reading something right now, right?”

“I am. It’s about a woman who’s a wallflower. She meets this ridiculously hot guy?—”

“Seems a little autobiographical, does it not?”

“What do you mean?”

He gestured between the two of us.

“Well, it could be. But the hot guy kinda breaks her heart after getting her pregnant, so I hope not.”

Levi laughed and shook his head. His cheeks turned red, and I realized this was the first time I’d seen him embarrassed. “I should have let you finish your sentence. Is that sort of thing normal in romance books?”

“Some of them. This one is about groveling.”

“And what’s that?”

“Where the guy messes up and has to make it up to her.” I couldn’t resist my smile. “It’s one of my favorite tropes.”

“Did you know that your face lights up when discussing books?”

A flush of heat spread from my cheeks to my toes. “I ... didn’t. I guess I don’t talk to many people about them.”

“What about your book club?”

“I let others talk about their books. And there aren’t any guys in there anyway.”

“What book is it?” he asked. “I’ll read it, even if only to prove that guys can like romance books.”

I had to take a shaky breath before I told him the name of it. He took out his phone and ordered it without a second thought.

“That was quite possibly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” I said.

He looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes. Definitely. Questions followed by conviction. Super attractive.”

“Hopefully, I’ll be half as hot as you are.”

My eyes moved to the mirror in the hallway that was just barely in my field of view. Mom checked her hair in it every morning. I did sometimes.

With my curly hair, which usually was frizzier than anything, I didn’t always look great. Tonight, I’d put more effort into my appearance for my birthday. Still, even with the makeup, I’d say I was more pretty than hot.

“Are you sure you have the right person?” I asked, eyes sliding back to Levi.

“Very sure.”

“I ... You ... Do you want to go to my room?”

My room was occupied. When I saw a flash of a bare ass, I slammed the door shut.

Technically, it wasn’t my room anymore since I went off to college. Mom was desperate for a guest space, and since Emma existed and Calvin needed a game room, we were out of space despite our massive house. The second I moved into the dorm, everything I’d left behind was put in a storage room so Mom could let guests sleep here.

Still, I used it whenever I was staying at home, and the plan was for me to sleep in the house tonight. Shouldn’t I have first dibs on bringing a guy there?

“Sorry,” I said. “Seems like someone got to it first.”

“There has to be somewhere else in this house that’s free,” he said. He gestured to the hallway. “One of these closed doors has to have somewhere private.”

“One of them is my little sister’s, and Calvin’s room is off-limits, but his game one?—”

“He has a gaming room too?”

“He asked for one a while ago. No one says no to him.”

A shadow crossed over Levi’s face and he grabbed my hand. “Sounds like that’s where we’ll find privacy. Lead the way.”

I opened the door to the room at the back of the house. A massive TV sat on the wall with a couch in front of it. As with everything, there were no decorations adorning the white walls. Calvin liked to say that he didn’t have time to decorate since he had such a full social life.

“I don’t know what kinds of games Calvin has or if he’d ever let us play.”

“Who cares about games? I want to get to know you.”

While I gaped like a fish, Levi led me to the couch. I didn’t think I’d ever sat on it since Dad got it two years ago.

I felt like a rebel tonight.

“Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, if you know about Calvin, you know a lot about me. I was born in Nashville, we went to the same schools?—”

“I don’t care about the stuff you share with him . I want to know you . Like how you got this scar.” His hand grazed the bottom of my lip where a barely perceptible sliver of white cut through my skin.

“I fell face-first down the playground stairs.”

I was pushed by Calvin, but Levi already hated him enough. No need to say that out loud.

“Those things are dangerous.”

“It’s okay. I learned how fun reading was while recovering.”

And I learned that it was the one thing my brother couldn’t care less about.

Levi smiled softly, moving his finger from my lip and using his palm to prop up his head as he looked at me.

“So what about you? Admittedly, I didn’t pay much attention to you.”

“Why not?”

“People who see Calvin first don’t really look twice at me.” I shrugged. “You have my attention now, though.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I’m a guy who sees through people’s shit. Calvin has a habit of throwing fits when things don’t go his way.”

“He was like that when he was a toddler too.”

“It must have been hard. As an only child, I can’t imagine sibling rivalry.”

“It’s not much of a rivalry when Calvin gets whatever he wants.”

“He doesn’t get everything he wants,” Levi said.

And it was true. When it came to the man in front of me, he was immune to whatever Calvin pulled over everyone else.

“Your hair is so curly.” Levi tucked a strand behind my ear. “I love it.”

“You should see me when I first wake up. It’s not that cute then.”

His eyebrow crept up to his hairline. “Are you offering?”

“I, uh ... I have no idea.” My entire body was on fire. “I didn’t mean to, but I wouldn’t say no.”

I wanted to kiss him, but I had no idea how to ask for that. Did I lean in? Did I wait for him to lean in? I was so out of the loop with socializing that it wasn’t funny.

Luckily for me, Levi took the lead. He wasted no time pressing his lips onto mine, silencing all of my thoughts.

Just like in my books, the world melted away. I wasn’t at my brother’s party, wishing someone would notice me. I had a guy whose only focus was on me.

I heard Levi suck in a sharp breath of air as his hands moved across my cheeks. His thumb caressed them, probably smearing the light dusting of makeup I had on. He leaned in, his body pressing closer to mine as his tongue brushed across my bottom lip. He smelled good. Every inch of him against my skin was nice.

This was electric. Perfection.

Nothing could ruin this moment.

“What the fuck ?”

I had spoken too soon.

Slowly, I moved away from Levi toward the figure in the door.

Calvin stood, arms crossed and brows pinched as he surveyed the two of us.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” I asked.

“What am I doing here? This is my room.”

“Technically, it’s your game room, and someone was in mine.”

And then I saw who he was with. Thick glasses. Wide eyes.

Ava.

He was holding her hand, obviously bringing her in here to do God knows what.

Damn it. She’d been charmed by him too.

But Calvin’s jaw hung open, and he didn’t stop to think twice about who he was with. He was more worried about who I was with. “You’re kissing Levi Hensen, and that’s what you say to me?”

“I ... Is there something else to say? You’re with my friend too.”

He rolled his eyes, clearly seeing me as a lost cause, and his gaze fell to Levi.

“And you . I invite you to show off my party, and you get revenge by kissing my sister?”

Levi’s smile was so different from the ones he had been giving me that it made me do a double take. “What, does it bother you?”

Calvin did look bothered as he glared and crossed his arms over his chest. “There is no limit to what you would do to piss me off.”

Levi only shrugged.

Whatever joy I felt dissipated into a cloud of smoke. He ... what ?

Suddenly, it all made sense. Levi and Calvin’s odd competition had reached a boiling point, and now I was involved.

I was collateral in their fight.

God, I was an idiot. How did I not see this coming? There was never a time when Calvin and I were in the same place and I was the one who got the attention.

Hurt bloomed in my chest and spread to every corner of me, started by Ava being with Calvin, and brought to the forefront of my mind by Levi’s words.

But I wouldn’t cry—not in front of everyone who had hurt me.

“I should have never invited you,” Calvin said. “You can’t handle seeing me do well.”

“And you —” Levi started, but I’d heard enough.

I stood. “Excuse me.”

Levi turned to me. “Wait?—”

I didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. I brushed past Calvin and headed outside, fishing my phone out of my pocket.

The only place I wanted to be was the one where someone would listen to me cry. I had one person in my life who fit the bill.

Gram.

Gram pulled up alongside me as I walked down the road, my arms crossed to keep myself warm in the cool spring air. Her gray hair was in a braid today, and she was so tall even when sitting that the top of her head brushed the roof of the tiny Toyota she drove.

“What are you doing a mile away from home?”

“I didn’t want anyone to find me,” I said. “I’m pretty sure some of the neighbors are scarred, though. They all saw me crying, and I am not a pretty crier.”

“Crying is no way to spend your nineteenth birthday,” she said. “What did Calvin do this time?”

“He didn’t do anything. Well, nothing more than what I’m used to.” I wiped my face. “Mom and Dad tried to make the party equal.”

She raised one brow.

“ Tried. It was a guy who did this.”

“A man, huh? Typical. I know how they are.” And she did. Gram had been through her fair share of heartbreak. Her first husband had left her the second she found out she was pregnant, and others seemed to disappoint her when things got real. It had started with her first love, a man who she never liked to speak of, and only got worse from there.

She always told me that romance was never like the books, but I held out hope.

I was wrong.

“You know that guy that Calvin hates?”

“There are many.”

“Everyone likes Calvin.”

“I’m sure that’s what he thinks,” she said. I would never know why Calvin didn’t have the same relationship with Gram that I did. We were all close when we were younger, but Gram had gotten this way once he pulled away from me and excelled at everything. “So what did this guy do?”

“He made a move on me to piss off Calvin.”

“He what ?” Her eyes narrowed and her brow pulled low. “I should go back there and?—”

“No,” I said quickly. “I don’t wanna be anywhere near the party. I just want to spend what’s left of my birthday trying to feel better. I didn’t even get a cake that I liked.”

“Did they get chocolate again?”

“Yes.” I sighed.

“All right, then. I know our next stop.”

She took me to the store where she let me pick out whatever cake I wanted. We drove back to her house in the historical part of Nashville where we got into comfy pajamas and lounged on the couch. I wanted to enjoy my cake, especially since Gram had found a vanilla one with cream cheese icing, but I picked at it sullenly.

“Should I go get Emma?” she asked. “She can hang out with us too.”

“No, she’s probably in her room on the phone with her friends.”

“What can I do to help?”

“I just feel so stupid,” I said. “How long do I have to feel this way?”

“You’re not dumb. He is for doing this to you. It took me a long time to learn that lesson.”

“From Mom’s dad?”

“No,” she said. “From Albert. My first love.”

Her eyes drifted to the nearby window, going vacant like they always did when she mentioned the past.

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

“We should,” she replied. “Because it would help you.”

“I don’t know if anything would help.”

“Amy, I need you to know you’re not alone in this.” She reached over to pat my hand. “Women, time and time again, have been hurt by those they love. Especially ones they trusted.”

“Like you have?”

“Unfortunately, yes. In many ways.”

“At least this wasn’t as big of a deal. It was just a kiss.”

“But it hit you where it hurts. I know you like to pretend Calvin doesn’t bother you, but it’s okay if he does.”

“Everyone loves him. I’m just ... different.”

“And that’s what I love about you,” she said. “You’re like me when I was your age. And I don’t want to see you lose your spark because of some man’s revenge tactic.”

“I won’t. I refuse to. I’ll be okay.”

“Good. Now eat your cake. We can watch whatever movie you want.”

“What about a romance?”

“You want to watch that after tonight?”

“Fiction is easier. Everyone gets a happy ending there. I know it’s not the same in real life.”

“It’s not.” She turned on the TV. “But it’s okay to pretend for a while.”

As she put on the movie, the hurt that settled over me lifted and I finally felt like myself again.

I was dozing off when Gram’s hand landed on my cheek.

“Do you want to stay here tonight or go home?” she asked as the clock struck midnight.

“I am home,” I said sleepily.

She gave me a soft smile and ruffled my hair. “I’ll make up the guest room bed, then.”

Stress always took a toll on me, more so than I wanted to admit. A few days later, when my next book club meeting came around, I couldn’t shake the pounding in my head and there was no way for me to lead the discussion.

But me being me, I tried to join anyway, but the library lights nearly made my head explode and I couldn’t focus on the book at all.

“Amy, it’s okay if you go home,” one of my fellow members said. I was in so much pain I didn’t even know who it was.

“I want to be here.”

“But you obviously have a migraine,” she said. “No one expects you to push through something this bad. It’s just book club.”

My heart lurched. I wanted to be here more than anything. I didn’t want to deal with the pain that popped into my life whenever it decided to wreck my plans.

“I’ll be back next week.”

“Of course,” she said. “And this time, I’ll lead.”

She sounded excited about it, and I wondered if she would be better at this than me and eventually try to take over the book club. Calvin would have.

“Okay,” I said, despite my disappointment. “I’ll see you next week.”

It took all of my energy to stand and make my way out the door. As it shut behind me, I heard her continue on as if I hadn’t even been there.

The drums in my head reminded me that I didn’t need to be focusing on what was happening now that I was gone. I needed to get home.

I walked numbly through the aisles of the library, face down to avoid the fluorescent lighting. I didn’t notice someone in front of me until I collided with them.

“I’m sorry,” they said immediately. “Wait, Amy?”

I rubbed my forehead. I couldn’t deal with anyone needing me at the moment, even with someone who had one hell of a nice voice.

“Yes, but you’ll have to leave a message.” I jerked a thumb behind me, hoping it was in the direction of the club. “I’m out for the day.”

I rushed past whoever it was before they could say anything. Nausea joined the party and I was glad I left when I did. The last thing I needed was to add public throwing up to the list of reasons why I was the lesser twin.

It was the next weekend before I could climb out of bed and get my life back together.

Becks had led the meeting last week, and she’d also sent me a get-well card with a lengthy note telling me about how her dad also had migraines and how he handled them. A few of the members had emailed me telling me to get better, and also that Becks had done an incredible job leading the meeting and that she could take over any time. I wanted to be jealous that she’d done so well in my absence, but she was so nice that I couldn’t. All I could do was plan the next meeting and hope that I wasn’t a disappointment in comparison.

When it came around, physically, I was feeling better. Mentally, not so much. I was a ball of nerves, wondering if people even wanted me to lead the group. That only grew when Becks found me at the beginning of the meeting.

“Hey! Feeling better?” she asked.

“Yes, thank you for the card.”

“I hope you can go to the doctor about it,” she said. “I knew when I saw you that it was serious.”

“And I heard you did a great job last week.”

“It was nothing. We all still missed you.”

I wasn’t sure if she was placating me or not.

Becks was a good person. I’d thought about trying to befriend her a few times, but Ava’s hand in Calvin’s was still fresh on my mind, and I didn’t know if I could bear getting close to someone else only for them to ultimately choose him in the end.

“Oh, and before I forget.” She pulled out a note. “Someone dropped this off for you.”

“A book club member?” I asked.

“No, someone else.”

“Did you get a name?”

She shook her head. “Sorry. I figured he was leaving something weird. I mean, a guy interested in a romance-only book club? Kinda creepy.”

I held my hand out and took the letter. “I’ll handle it, thank you, Becks.”

I made it to a table before I opened it.

Hi, Amy. I read the book you recommended me, and I really liked it. I’d love to talk more about it, among other things. I have an app we could use.

I squinted at the name at the bottom of the page. It was only one letter.

“V,” I said to myself. “Weird name.”

I thought back to what had happened with my migraine. I had run into someone, though I never looked them in the face. I remembered them talking to me, but nothing else. Had I recommended a book to them?

Becks might have had an issue with a guy joining a book club, but I didn’t. I was happy to talk about books with him, and I pulled up the app he recommended.

I sent him a friend request, which was accepted immediately. Once it was, I typed up a message.

Hi! I’d love to talk about the book. Quick question, though, what book was it? I’ve had a wild few weeks between a complete asshole ruining my birthday and then the subsequent emotional breakdown, so I barely remember anything.

Next week we read something in a similar vein. You should show up! Becks might have come across a little weird about a guy joining, but I won’t be!

V typed. Stopped. And then started again.

V

Hi, Amy. I might just keep this between you and me for now. It’s nice to be able to talk with you.