Chapter 30
chapter thirty
Emme
Today’s Learning Objective:
Students will take lessons from a badass.
I couldn’t remember why we’d decided it was a good idea to schedule Grace’s final dress fitting for the day after her pub crawl shower and make an afternoon of it with her side of the bridal party. I had to assume we didn’t do it to torture ourselves but as I groaned into my pillow and kicked my feet in the sheets until Ryan slapped my ass and told me to stop with the tantrums, I saw only demonic forces at work.
“I’ll go with you,” he said.
“No,” I groaned, still buried in the pillow. “You have a workout with your trainer this afternoon and I’m sorry but I can only be married to the number one QB in the League. If you start falling behind in your conditioning, I’m out.”
He slapped my ass again. It kind of helped dull out the lingering headache from mixing alcohols—such a rookie move—and crying my whole eyes out last night.
He smoothed his palm over my backside. His fingers slipped between my legs. “My conditioning is fine but I love the support.”
“You better keep it that way,” I said lightly.
“I can reschedule. I don’t want you going into this alone.”
“No, no, it’s going to be okay,” I said. “Grace is just going to have a lot of questions and I’m going to have to answer them.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“It’s a complicated thing. I wanted Grace to have the whole wonderful engagement season experience but giving her that has meant withholding a few tidbits.”
He gave my ass a rough squeeze. “You have to explain this to me because I’ve never known you to keep anything from Grace but now everything is about her moment . You didn’t have a moment before our wedding.”
“Because I wasn’t really engaged.”
His hand cracked hard against my ass. This one actually stung a bit. “You break my heart every time you say that.”
“No, I don’t,” I yelped, trying to kick him away.
He responded by banding an arm around my hips and holding me down. “It’s a wonder I’m still alive with all the times you’ve broken my heart.” He locked a hand around my ankles when I went on flailing. “Would you have wanted the whole moment thing? If it’d been different?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my hair out of my eyes. “Probably not, but being engaged can be a lot of fun if you do it right. It’s like Mardi Gras. Nonstop parties, someone’s always pouring champagne, and endless reasons to dress up and look cute. And people basically throw gifts at you the whole time.”
“You don’t want that?”
I shot him a lopsided grin over my shoulder. “All I’ve done for the past few months is go to parties with you, drink champagne, and dress up in very cute outfits. And I had a small panic attack over the gifts we received. I’ve had all the Mardi Gras I need. I’m good.”
His hand left my ankles to trail up between my legs. “You don’t want the traditional stuff? Like Grace?”
“Really, I’m good. But no one’s ever really celebrated Grace before,” I said. “Her family is extremely nice but they never had birthday parties or graduation parties or anything special for each kid. Their holidays were only about religious services. If one kid in the family had something great happen—winning a soccer tournament or honor roll or whatever—they had to wait until all the other kids had something great to acknowledge them all at once. Doesn’t make a lick of sense to me but it’s how they did it. And Ben and Grace are paying for this by themselves. He’s working a ton of overtime, she’s waxing vaginas left and right, all so they can have this dream celebration. And I didn’t want to ruin any of that.”
“Muggsy, how the hell could you ruin it by telling her that your ex is a sociopath?”
“Because when I tried to, she wanted to cancel her wedding.”
“That’s a trick play if I’ve ever seen one.” He slapped me again and I had to admit I didn’t mind it. His hand was large enough to connect with a wide area and when I spread my legs a tiny bit, the blows landed lower. “You can’t just pretend everything is okay and expect it to stay that way. You gotta speak up when things aren’t good.”
I went back to groaning into my pillow. He continued spanking me. I was probably beet red by now.
“You’re sure Clara won’t be there?” he asked.
“That would never happen,” I said with a rueful laugh. “Grace didn’t want a bachelorette party because she didn’t like the idea of us spending more money on her, but she did want to have a cute lunch date with her bridesmaids. There’s no way in hell Clara would be invited.”
“You’d be shocked at what really goes on in hell so give me a call if you need backup.”
“I think I’m going to be all right.” It felt weird to say that and believe it. It felt weird to wake up without the tang of bitterness on my tongue, the gnawing anger in my belly. If I reached for it, I could find the last shards but the rest was gone. It was like Ryan had plucked it out of me and given it all back to Teddy. It was like I was free. “Even if she made an appearance, it would be okay. It doesn’t feel like it matters in the same way it did before.”
Another rough slap though this one landed squarely between the thighs I’d been inching open. “That’s what I like to hear, wifey.”
I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Did Ines come home last night?”
He barked out a laugh. “Uh, no, she did not.” Grabbing his phone off the side table, he said, “But Jakobi texted me at three in the morning to tell me her phone died but all was well.”
I skimmed the messages. “So, she stayed with Jakobi?”
Ryan shrugged. “That’s what it sounds like.”
I dragged my lower lip between my teeth. “I can’t decide if I’m worried about her getting involved with someone so much older and more experienced or happy that she’s found someone who plans constellation cruises just because she likes seeing the stars.”
“Jakobi doesn’t fuck around. When he sees something he wants, he goes for it.”
“That’s not helping me balance the worry with the happiness.”
With a laugh, he said, “I’ve known Jakobi a long time and Ines is only the second or third woman I’ve ever seen him pursue. He doesn’t go all in for nothing. He likes her. He made some noise about marrying her the night we moved you two in here.”
I bolted up from the mattress. I remembered then that I wasn’t wearing any pajamas. “And you’re just telling me this now?”
His gaze dropped to my bare breasts. He stroked the back of his finger over my nipple until it perked up. “Do you not remember that night? I was a little preoccupied. Coming in my pants at thirty thousand feet does that to me.”
I watched as he went to his knees, his shaft long and thick between his legs. “That’s the last time you can use that excuse.”
“Until you make me come in my pants again,” he replied, shoving the blankets and sheets away.
I followed the stretch of his muscles and the way his ink twisted as he reached into the drawer. I still needed to figure out those tattoos. There had to be more to the story. But then he popped open a bottle of lube and drizzled it over his cock and between my legs. The cool liquid met my flesh and I gasped out, “Just promise you’ll tell me if he’s going to propose.”
Ryan pulled me beneath him and settled between my thighs. “I’ll do my best. Now, enough about them. Let me put you in a good mood.”
I grew up in a lot of different places. Chicago, Miami, Vegas, and then the New Hampshire seacoast—but there were also a bunch of other cities in between those spots. Indianapolis after my parents divorced. Jacksonville after the Feds seized Gary’s assets. Los Angeles before Mom ended up with Dell.
I kept parts of all those places with me, though I’d never kept friends. Even if I’d wanted to stay in touch, there’d been no time for that. All we could worry about was getting Mom situated with someone new.
While I knew deep in my bones that Grace was a friend for life, there was still a wobbly part of me that walked into the bridal boutique with a thread of worry tying itself into a knot in my belly. It didn’t make any sense, but it was there just the same.
Grace glanced up from a rack of gowns when the door jingled behind me. “Hey,” she said, a tentative note in her voice. “How are you?”
I joined her at the rack and pulled out a dress. It wasn’t my style—or anyone’s in this century—but I studied it carefully. “I shouldn’t mix beer and martinis, but otherwise all right. What about you? How late did you guys stay out?”
Her sigh was impatient. She wanted to get to the point. “Everyone left not long after you did.”
“Hello there.” At my side, I found a cheery-faced saleswoman dressed all in black. She had that in common with Grace. “I’m Mackenzie. What can I help you find today?”
“Oh, no, I don’t need anything. I’m here for my friend’s final fitting,” I said. “We’re just waiting for a few more people to join us.”
Mackenzie’s smile brightened. She dropped a glance to my ring. “I hope this isn’t supremely awkward, but I’m a huge fan of your fiancé’s and if there’s anything I can do?—”
“Wow,” Grace huffed. “Bold strategy.”
“—it would be my complete honor.” Mackenzie went on beaming. “If you want to try on some gowns after your friend’s fitting, I can start pulling a few. I’m obsessed with your style and I think we have looks that you’d love.”
“Thank you so much,” I said, hazarding a glance at Grace only to find she’d stalked off to the other side of the store. “But I’m here for my friend today.”
“If you change your mind,” Mackenzie said as I set out after Grace, “I’ll be here!”
I caught up to Grace near the flower girl dresses. “Sorry about that. I didn’t think anyone would recognize?—”
“Can you stop being sorry for a minute? I don’t need any more apologies. I need you to tell me what the hell happened last night and why I had to find out about it from Ryan.”
“Miss Kilmeade?” came another sunny voice. Everyone was so damn happy here. “We’re ready for you.”
“Fuck,” she grumbled under her breath. With another impatient sigh, she linked her elbow with mine. “Come on.”
“I should wait out here for everyone else,” I offered as we crossed to the boutique’s alterations department. This was a small place, a freestanding building in a strip mall that looked suspiciously like an old Pizza Hut or Papa Gino’s location.
“Audrey and Jamie can handle some unstructured time,” she snapped. “And Shay’s already texted me to say she’s going to be half an hour late. Some goats went loose or something farm-ish like that.”
We followed the seamstress to a large dressing room, but instead of changing out of her clothes and into the satin robe provided, Grace told her we’d need a few minutes.
She pulled the curtain shut and crossed her arms. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. “Why didn’t you tell me anything ?”
“Because every time I do, you threaten to throw your whole wedding out the window.”
“Because I don’t want to have a wedding if you get hurt in the process!”
I blew out a breath as I paced in front of the mirrors. “Do you even want to get married? You’ve put your wedding on the line so many times now that I’m half convinced you don’t want to get married and you’re hoping I’ll give you a way out.”
A stunned expression crossed her face and my breath caught, thinking I’d gone too far. But then her shoulders slumped and she dropped her gaze to the floor. She slid down the wall until her backside hit the carpet and she folded her arms over her knees.
That was when I realized I had gone too far—but it was exactly where I needed to be.
After a minute of heavy silence, she said, “Everything is changing so fast.” Her voice wavered and something in my chest cracked. “It’s really overwhelming and you know how I hate that feeling.”
I nodded. Grace didn’t get overwhelmed because she was obsessive about planning and preparing. She didn’t let things catch her off guard.
“I do want to marry Ben. I like him even if everything has been really fucking stressful for the past month. I want to keep him around. But I’m afraid I’m losing everything I love in the process.” She sucked in a breath as tears filled her eyes. She worked hard at blinking them away before she continued. “I left my job. I left the city. The apartment’s gone and now I live so far away that it’s basically Maine and no one wants to visit me.”
“We’ll visit you,” I said. “Just ask Audrey to create a dinner party schedule and I promise we’ll make the trek to Maine at least once a month.”
She leveled a gaze at me. “Will you though? Because it feels like I’ve lost you most of all.”
I swallowed against a lump in my throat. “You didn’t lose me.”
“Then why does it feel like you’re already gone?”
I dropped down to the floor across from her and folded my legs in front of me. “I’m not, but you needed me to be okay and I did what I had to do to make you believe I was.” When she gave an incredulous shake of her head, I added, “I knew this would be hard and I wasn’t going to make it any harder. You deserve to be happy—and I couldn’t let you cancel the wedding. Not for me. ”
“You should’ve told me.” She drew in another breath, fighting hard against those tears. “You should’ve told me everything that he did.”
I stared down at my hands as I said, “He’s Ben’s friend. I didn’t want to make you choose sides.” Especially since you kept threatening to call off the wedding.
A watery laugh cracked out of her. “Not anymore.”
I blinked at her, confused. “What?”
“We got kicked out of Beantown Pub last night,” she said with another laugh. “Because Ben lost it on Teddy after you left.” She ran a finger over her brow. “Ben yelled at him for at least five straight minutes until Teddy shoved him and then Ben punched him in the mouth. It all went to hell and they threw us out.” She gave me an uneven smile. “Bottom line, Ben broke his middle finger and Teddy won’t be coming to the wedding.”
“What? No! Not from punching Teddy?”
Her shoulders shook as she laughed. “No, he tripped outside of Beantown. Completely unrelated. Didn’t even split his knuckles from wailing on Teddy, but he breaks a whole finger walking down the sidewalk.” As she sobered, she said, “He feels terrible about everything that happened. He wants you to know he should’ve kicked Teddy’s ass a long time ago.”
“Tell him I appreciate that. And I’m sorry about his finger.”
“Don’t be. He’s having the time of his life showing it off.” She dropped her head back against the wall. “I should’ve drawn the line months ago and thrown Teddy out of the wedding. I shouldn’t have dumped any of that on you. A part of me thought that if you needed me, I’d just put it all on hold. We could go back to our old apartment and the way things used to be, and the wedding would wait. But I’m not sure we can even do that anymore.”
I nodded slowly. “Remember when we finished school and moved down here? And everything was new and magical, even though we had no money and no idea what we were doing? This is just like that—without worrying about having to move back in with our parents. Think of all the amazing things happening for us.”
She let out a long breath. “We’re getting married.”
Time to put it all out there. “You are,” I said with a shrug. “I got married last month.”
Her eyes rounded. “You fucking what?”
“We eloped. Seemed like the right time but I didn’t want to take anything away from you.” I shrugged when she flipped me off. “We’re thinking we’ll have a big wedding next year. Whenever Ines learns enough of the harp to play for us.”
She cocked her head to the side as she studied me. “Then this is for real, you and Ryan.”
I nodded. Didn’t even question it this time. “Yeah. It is.”
She scrambled to her knees and caught me in a tight embrace. “I hope he deserves you.”
“He does,” I said, bringing my arms around her. I was starting to believe that.
“Come on, y’all. We’ll find them. They’re back here somewhere,” came Jamie’s voice. “This one’s empty. That one’s empty. If they aren’t in the last one, it’s because they took it on the run which is a different issue. Hello? We’re coming in. Final warning.”
The curtain flung open, revealing Audrey, Jamie, and Shay. They stared down at us, locked in a haphazard hug on the floor.
Jamie dropped her hands to her hips. “I know one thing and it’s that there’s a boy to blame for this.”
“Always a boy to blame,” Grace said.
Shay tucked her rose-gold hair over her ear, saying, “I don’t know what I missed but I expect you’ll catch me up soon enough.”
With that, she dropped to her knees and scooped us both into a hug.
“Me too,” Audrey said, following her lead.
Eventually, Jamie gathered up her maxi dress and joined us on the floor. Glancing between me and Grace, she asked, “Are we still trying this dress on today? Don’t feel like you have to say yes. I’m just covering the exits.”
Grace laughed. “Yeah, we’re trying on this dress.” She smiled at me and gave my hand a squeeze. “When I’m done, Emme’s going to try a few too.”
“It’s your day,” I said.
She shook her head. “I’m tired of it being my day. I have to be happy and gracious all the time. It’s exhausting. I’m ready for it to be your turn so I can stop playing nice and go back to being a nightmare.”
A true, warm smile filled my face. And then Shay said, “Okay so I love you all but half of my ass is asleep and I don’t know where Gennie went.”
“Everyone up,” Grace said. “Find my flower girl.”
“One last thing,” I said as we climbed out of our pile on the floor. “And it would really help if you didn’t tell anyone until next weekend when the media release goes out but…Ryan and I eloped.”
Shay let out a shriek as Jamie jabbed a finger in my direction. “I knew it! I knew something was different!”
As they folded me into another hug, I heard the battle cry of, “ Auntie Gracie! Look at my badass dress!”
Gennie, Shay’s husband’s niece who lived with them on their farmland in Rhode Island, came barreling down the hall and bounded onto the round platform in front of the mirror. She shimmied her hips, watching as the black and white tulle swished. Officially, Grace’s colors were the hydrangea palette: blue, green, and cream. But for Gennie, a pirate at heart, she’d picked a dramatic dress.
“Stunning, my dear,” Grace said.
“You’re going to knock ’em dead,” Jamie said.
“I’m gonna be the best goddamn flower girl you’ve ever seen,” Gennie said.
“That’s right.” Shay glanced at me and, dropping her voice, she said, “Don’t you dare ask her to be your flower girl until a few weeks before the wedding. She wakes up every single day and asks if it’s time for the wedding yet. We’re going to have to hide the dress so she doesn’t wear it to clean out the chicken coops. I love you and I support you but I’m putting you on notice, Ahlborg.”
I laughed, holding her closer. “My lips are sealed.”
“Yeah,” Gennie said, mostly to herself. “I’m a badass fucking flower girl.”