In Bed with the Ice Queen (The Ice Queen #4)

13. Helena

13

HELENA

H elena stood in her hotel room, staring out the window at the twinkling lights of the resort next door. It was late, but her mind was racing with thoughts of Sloane. She could still see Sloane’s long, wavy brown hair flowing gently behind her as she walked away. She watched silently as Sloane walked down the street, suitcase rolling along the path. Helena’s chest tightened as she observed her walking into the entrance of the nearby neighboring resort.

“What is wrong with me?” she muttered to herself, sinking into the oversized armchair by the window. She replayed their earlier conversation in her mind, her voice still echoing from the way she had dismissed Sloane.

And then she watched Sloane go, her eyes glimmering with something Helena could not put into words. It was a mixture of sadness and strength. It had made Helena’s heart ache, but she had pushed it aside, convincing herself it was for the best.

“It’s always about business,” she whispered, shaking her head. “You can’t let feelings get in the way.” But deep down, she knew that it wasn’t just about business. There was something much deeper, something she was afraid to acknowledge.

Helena remembered the moments they shared. The intimacy they shared. The way their bodies inched closer together. Sloane’s tight body, full of energy, matched with Helena’s own perfectionism. But every time their connection threatened to deepen beyond the professional, Helena shut it down.

“Why can’t I just let someone in? Why is it so hard?” she sighed, her voice barely above a whisper. It was an endless cycle. One she didn’t know how to break. She thought about how she had built walls so high and thick they felt like steel. And it was lonely up there.

Just then, she stared at the reflection in the window. The way she calculated every move, every friendship, every relationship through the eyes of a strategist.

She considered reaching out to clear the air, but doubt washed over her.

What would she say? “Hey, Sloane, forget everything I just said. I don’t want to lose you.” Helena couldn’t justify that kind of vulnerability; after all, what if Sloane didn’t feel the same way?

Helena’s phone buzzed on the table, breaking the silence. She glanced at it, her heart skipping when she saw Sloane’s name at the top of the screen. “No, don’t,” she whispered, shaking her head. But the urge to grab the phone was overwhelming.

“Just one message. Just one,” she said, fingers hovering over the screen.

But she hesitated. What if…? The thought of Sloane’s hurt expression lingered in her mind, and the weight of regret pressed down on her shoulders.

“Maybe I messed up too much,” Helena finally admitted silently to herself as she put the phone back down. “Maybe if I had let us connect, this wouldn’t feel so empty.”

She walked over to the window, peering out again. The resort seemed so close, yet so far. In her heart, she knew what she wanted—someone to escape with, not just to fight against in the corporate world but to share the emotions of her hectic life—but fear kept her lonely and isolated.

Helena picked up a pillow and hugged it tightly, her emotions swirling. As the city hummed outside, she knew she had to make a choice. It felt like she had to make it right now, and the pressure was suffocating.

Without thinking too much, she grabbed her phone and dialed her sister's number.

“Hey, Helena!” her sister, Rachel, answered cheerfully. “What’s up?”

Helena hesitated for a moment. She almost said “nothing,” but that felt wrong. “Um, Rachel...I’m having a rough time.”

“Rough time? You? Seriously?” Rachel sounded shocked. “What’s going on?”

Helena leaned against the bedpost, feeling her heart race. “I’m in Hawaii for a business trip, but it got complicated. I ended up sharing a room with the opposing team’s lawyer, and we kinda...got intimate.”

There was a silence on the other end. Helena could almost hear Rachel’s brain working. “Wait, what? This is huge! You have to explain everything.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Helena admitted, sitting back down on the bed and running her fingers through her hair. “I usually don’t let myself get emotional like this. But I’m feeling so much pressure after Dad said he might have Kaleb take over the company.”

Rachel let out a loud laugh. “That’s ridiculous! Dad is just trying to push Kaleb because he thinks it’s tough love. He believes in that nonsense.”

Helena felt a little lighter with Rachel’s laughter. “But Kaleb just had a baby. His wife is angry all the time, and I’ve never seen him so anxious. I hate thinking of him like that.”

“Yeah, well, I mean, having a baby is a big deal. And he’s a genius, but he’s also human, Helena. He’s going to feel the pressure too.” Rachel paused. “But you know what? It sounds like you’re comparing your life to theirs again.”

“I know, I know.” Helena sighed. “I shouldn’t do that. I should just focus on what I need to do.” She looked out the window and watched the waves crashing against the shore. “I’ve spent so long just holding money as my only goal. I should check on Kaleb more.”

“You should,” Rachel agreed. “And speaking of checking in, what about this lawyer girl?

Helena rolled her eyes. “How did you know she was a woman?”

“Oh, Helena! Are you kidding? I know you. Whatever else you might say or not say, it’s always been women for you.”

Helena screwed her face up, unable to admit that her sister was right.

“Are you really worried about this being a conflict of interest?”

“I am, but if anything, the opposing team might actually like that she’s with me. It could help both sides negotiate better.”

Rachel snickered through the phone. “Exactly! They’ll think you’re team players, and no one will likely even find out unless it progresses. And let’s be real, you’ve clearly done an amazing job negotiating. It’ll all work out just fine.”

“Thanks, Rachel,” Helena said softly, feeling encouraged. “I just feel so scared sometimes. I’m so used to control. And, well, I’ve never really had a girlfriend. I never thought I’d be able to be that for someone.”

“Hey,” Rachel said, her tone turning serious but warm. “ You can do this. Don’t wait to tell her how you feel. Never go to bed angry. You have to communicate how you feel. Don’t let yourself push her away. Because, you do that, you know. Push women away. And about the coming out thing- it really won’t be the big deal you think it will, you know.”

“Right.” Helena nodded, even though Rachel couldn’t see her. “That makes sense. I really appreciate your advice.”

“Always,” Rachel replied, sounding happy. “Just remember to check on Kaleb too. He doesn’t want to inherit Dad’s problems; he’s fine with just being on a will. You’re not alone in this, Helena. You’ve got this.”

“Thanks, Rachel. Love you,” Helena said, smiling for the first time that evening.

“Love you too. Call me soon, okay?” Rachel said before hanging up.

Helena set her phone down and took a deep breath. She felt a little bit better. She had the ocean's calmness outside her window and her sister’s words in her heart, and now, the next step was to figure out what came next for her and Sloane.

She took a deep breath and made a decision. She needed to talk to Sloane, to clear the air, to admit how much she cared. The tension surrounding the merger with Thompson Industries hung over her head. Both women had high stakes in this deal, and their friendship made things more complicated in her mind.

The business merger was heating up now, and Helena knew that mistakes could cost them everything. Still, beneath all the suit-and-tie discussions was a messy connection between them. They formed a bond that only seemed to entangle them more and more with every passing day.

Without thinking too much, Helena grabbed her jacket and left the hotel. As she walked toward the neighboring resort's café, she felt like she was on auto-pilot. Her heart raced not just from nerves but also from the feelings she had kept buried. “Just go talk to her,” she whispered under her breath, trying to calm herself.

With her heart racing, she stood up and straightened her dress. The walk to the neighboring resort felt tough. It was still early in the evening, but the island around her seemed so quiet, as if everything had paused. As she walked, she tried to turn off her logical brain, pushing aside thoughts about business and deals. Right now, there was something much deeper at stake.

Why do you care so much? Helena asked herself. The answer came quickly. She cared because there was something real between her and Sloane, something pure despite the complications. The merger talks with Thompson Industries were flowing smoothly, and Helena felt confident about their position. Yet hiding her feelings was making it more complicated than it already would have been.

When Helena arrived at the café, she noticed it was empty, but she didn't mind. The quietness felt comforting. She pulled out her phone and hesitated for a moment before texting Sloane. “Can we talk? I’m at the café near your hotel.”

Helena sat at one of the tables, her thoughts swirling. She kept glancing at her phone, waiting for a reply, her fingers tapping nervously on the table. What if Sloane didn’t want to talk? What if she was done?

Minutes felt like hours, and she thought about the situation they were in. Her phone pinged, and she practically threw it in the air trying to glance if it was Sloane. She would be way too disappointed if it wasn’t, and it had her so shaky.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.” Sloane had texted.

Relief flooded her, and she had a small smile.She remembered the way Sloane had looked at her, warm and kind. But Helena had pushed her away, acting cold and bitchy. She couldn’t help but worry. What if tonight was the last time they would ever see each other in a personal context?

As the minutes went by, Helena’s heart raced faster. She pulled out her phone, checking the time again. "Come on, Sloane. Where are you?" She bit her lip, fighting back the rising tide of panic. She needed to talk to Sloane, to make things right. But how could she explain her feelings? They were all tangled up inside her, confusing and messy.

An image of Sloane's frown flashed in her mind, and the thought made her heart ache. She could feel tears biting at the edges of her eyes. Her palms grew sweaty against the cool table.

Just then, the bell above the café door jingled. Helena's head whipped around, every muscle in her body tensing. There stood Sloane, her tall frame silhouetted against the bright light from the hallway.