5. Zander
5
ZANDER
MrNiceGuy : you want to get out of your head for a while?
Sinbin : yeah
My thumbs hovered over my phone’s keyboard. Did he want a repeat?
I’d been thinking about Sinbin and our call nonstop for the past week, and it was like my libido came out of hibernation and was trying to make up for lost time.
I’d spent years repressing my urges and learning how to ignore my attraction to men, and not just because I was trying to keep my sexuality a secret.
I might be a bossy fucker online or over the phone, but in reality, I was a blundering mess. My confidence didn’t extend to in-person encounters, and the stress of meeting new people and trying to pick up made my sex drive go into hiding like a scared turtle. It was easier to just stick to online stuff and my hand, but our call had awakened something in me.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how responsive he’d been, how trusting. His soft pleasure sounds, the way he started out shy and had found his confidence the longer the call went on. How honest he’d been when he’d told me about his fantasy and how he seemed to revel in getting me off when the call was supposed to be about him.
He'd given in to the moment—and to me.
I’d gotten off to memories of our call every night when I was in bed and more than once in the shower. I wasn’t a monk, no matter what Ivy said, but jerking off multiple times a day wasn’t normal for me.
I wasn’t about to admit this to him, but I’d logged in to the app every night since our call. Not to look at profiles or to find another person to chat with, but to check if he had messaged me.
I didn’t get notifications for the app because I was hardly ever on here, and I really didn’t want to explain to the guys at work why my phone was chiming every time someone sent me a dick pic, which was often. Even with him having no repeats in his bio, I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss a message if he changed his mind.
But it wasn’t just Sinbin my libido was fixated on.
I’d also spent the last week desperately trying to get over my attraction to Luka. We worked together, and he was straight. He had no idea I was into men, and I intended to keep it that way.
He didn’t need me creeping on him, and he’d probably report me to Nate and Dev if he knew what was going through my head.
But it wasn’t just his looks or his body that distracted me. Luka had been off all week. He could be a bit clumsy, but constantly dropping things and tripping over everything wasn’t normal. He’d also been quieter than usual. His quick smiles and witty comments were still there, but they were muted, and he spent most of his shifts pretending to focus on his work while his mind was obviously somewhere else.
He'd also been late a few times and had come rushing in all flustered and on the defense, like he was waiting for someone to yell at him when it was obvious he was struggling and wasn’t late because he was being irresponsible. Something was wrong, but I had no idea what I could do.
We might spend more than forty hours a week in the same shop, but we weren’t really friends. We were friendly, and he was friends with the other guys, so I didn’t feel right prying into his personal life when we barely knew anything about each other.
Which was weird because I’d only talked to Sinbin once before tonight, and I not only told him he could talk to me about his personal problems, but I meant it. I felt comfortable with him, even though we’d never seen each other’s faces and had no idea what the other actually sounded like without the distortion filters.
And his inexperience was hot. I loved that I was the first, and only as far as I knew, person he’d ever done that with. Even his jealousy turned me on, and I really liked how he’d been honest and hadn’t tried to hide it, even if it confused him.
If Sinbin wanted a distraction, then I wanted to be the one distracting him.
MrNiceGuy : do you want me to help you with that?
Sinbin : yes
Sinbin : can we switch to voice?
I smiled. I’d been about to ask him that. I liked that he’d taken the initiative.
Instead of answering, I pressed the call option.
“Hey,” his shy voice came over the line.
“Hi.”
He let out a breathless chuckle. “I have no idea what to do again.”
“Just be yourself and everything will be fine.”
“You say that, but that’s the type of advice that usually gets me in trouble.”
I laughed softly. “I don’t mind trouble.”
His answering laugh was laced with nerves. “That’s good because I’m a mess.”
“I don’t mind messy, either.”
He made a sound that could have meant anything.
“What are you in the mood for?” I asked. Might as well get the ball rolling, so to speak.
“Um…”
I tried a different tactic. “Do you want it to be like last time? Or do you want to try something different?”
“Maybe different?”
“Have you ever used safe words?”
“No. But safe words over the phone?”
“It’s just a precaution,” I assured him. “Sometimes it’s easier to use safe words than it is to say no or tell someone that you’re uncomfortable.”
“That makes sense,” he said slowly. “So do I pick a random world like Rumpelstiltskin to blurt out?”
I huffed out a laugh. “You can. Or we can use the stoplight method.”
“Is that like red zone, green light?”
“I’m not sure what that is.”
“It’s this thing we did at my old job during a seminar on boundaries. We were told to create a space around us that was our red zone and to say ‘red light’ to anyone who got too close and breached our zone. Then we were supposed to say ‘green light’ when they were far enough back.”
“Something tells me that didn’t have the effect your bosses thought it would.” I grinned. “If we did that at my workplace, everyone would spend the next week getting right up in everyone’s business and making a sport out of seeing how far they could make someone back off to get to the green zone. And yelling ‘red light’ any time someone asked them to do something.”
“That’s pretty much what happened at my job.” He laughed. “We had to sit through another seminar on professional behavior in the workplace. You can imagine how well that one went over.”
I laughed. “I’m so glad my work doesn’t do that sort of thing.”
“My new job doesn’t, thank fuck. Although I do miss the donuts.”
“Donuts?”
“The seminars were the only time management would bring in donuts for us. I guess they thought that filling us with carbs and sugar would placate us enough we wouldn’t complain about not getting paid to be lectured by a corporate video.”
“You didn’t get paid? That sounds illegal.”
“Probably was.” I could practically hear him shrug. “We didn’t get overtime or anything either. Didn’t matter if we had to stay three hours after closing, we were only paid from when the doors opened to when they were locked. They scheduled us to start a half hour before the place opened, but we weren’t allowed to clock in until five minutes before or clock out any later than ten minutes after, even if we stayed late.”
“That’s wage theft, which is definitely illegal.”
“Yup. One of the many reasons I don’t work there anymore. But enough about my shitty job. My dick is hard, and I want to do something about it.”
I laughed. “How about we finish setting our safe words, and then we can get started?”
“Yeah. Okay. We were talking about stoplights?”
“The stoplight method,” I said, picking up the thread of our conversation. “That’s when you use the colors of the stoplight to get your message across. Green means everything is fine and you want to continue. Yellow means you need a break or to pause things, or you’re not sure about something. Red means an immediate stop. I’ll still listen if you say no or stop or anything like that, but this will give you another way to communicate if you need it.”
“That sounds simple enough.”
“Do you want to use the stoplight method?”
“Yes.” He paused. “My dick is really hard right now, just an FYI.”
Chuckling, I rubbed my hand over my cock. I’d been hard since I’d opened his gallery. “You’re not the only one.”
“Can I ask something before we start?”
“Sure. You can ask whatever you want whenever you want.”
“What do you look like? I’m just curious because picturing a headless guy while I’m trying to jerk off reminds me of a horror movie I saw ages ago.”
“A horror movie?”
“Yeah. It was about these zombie creatures that could take off parts of their bodies like their hands or heads and use them to…do stuff to people.”
“Was this a horror movie or porn?”
“Horror porn masquerading as a movie.” He paused. “You don’t have to tell me. I know that’s pushing the no details thing.”
“It’s fine.” Giving him a general description of myself wouldn’t reveal my identity. And this was a tit-for-tat question. I was curious about what he looked like too. “I’m nothing special. Brown hair and brown eyes. Just a regular guy.”
“How tall are you?”
“Six-one.”
“Are those pictures on your profile recent?”
“Most are, but I still look like the older ones.”
“Are you really twenty-nine?”
“Yes.” I waited to see if he had any other questions. “What about you?”
“Same. Just a regular guy. Blond hair, blue eyes, and I’m five-eleven, so of course I tell everyone I’m also six-one.”
A laugh bubbled out of my chest. “Then I’d better start telling people I’m six-three.”
“It’s dude math.” I could hear his grin. “From my experience, I always go by a factor of two when it comes to whatever measurements men tell me.”
“A factor of two?”
“Yup. If they say they’re six foot, they’re five-ten. If they claim they’ve slept with twenty people, I’m assuming ten. And if they say they’re eight inches, they’re definitely six.”
I laughed. “I had no idea I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.”
It didn’t escape me that I’d laughed more with Sinbin tonight than I had all week. I tried not to read into that.
“But back to what we were doing. I’m twenty-six, and most of my pics are recent. The only one that isn’t is my beach pic. I looked like that a few years ago, but not so much anymore.” A pause. “Does that bother you?”
“No. I prefer the look in your recent photos, so that’s actually good news for me.”
“You do?” he asked, some of his confidence slipping as a hint of shyness crept into his voice.
“Yes.”
“My dick is telling me to shut up so he can finally get some attention.”
Another laugh escaped me. “Are you ready to start?”
“So ready.”
“Remember to use your safe words if you need to,” I reminded him gently.
“I will.”
“Where are you?”
“My living room. On my couch.”
“Do you want to stay there, or would you be more comfortable in your bed?”
A pause. “My bed.”
Standing, I got up off my couch and headed toward my bedroom as the muffled sounds of rustling came over the phone.
“I’m on my bed.”
“Are you laying down?”
More shuffling. “I am now.” A pause. “Are you in your room?”
“I am now.” I stopped next to my bed. “Just one second while I get comfortable.”
“Okay.”
Tossing my phone down, I grabbed a hair tie off my bedside table and quickly gathered my hair into a low bun. When it was back, I moved my pillows so I could sit against my headboard and settled on my bed.
“Are you still with me?” I asked when I picked up the phone.
“Yes.”
“Good.” I pitched my voice so it was low and soft. “What are you wearing?”
This time he didn’t laugh. “Sweats, a tee, and a hoodie.”
“Take off your hoodie.”
The line went quiet as he did as I said.
“It’s off.”
“Are you still hard?”
“Yeah.”
“Close your eyes for me.”
“Okay.”
“Now I want you to take three deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four, hold it for a count of three, then out your mouth for a count of six. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
I waited, counting the seconds in my head, as he obeyed.
“How do you feel?” I asked when he was done.
“Good.” He let out a little sigh. “Really good.”
“That’s good,” I added a little purr to my voice. “You like being good for me, don’t you?”
He made a soft sound, not quite a whimper, but almost a moan. “Yes.”
I’d already picked up that he liked praise, but how far could I push it?
“Good boy,” I said, testing his limits.
His happy-sounding snuffle was answer enough. He was into this.
Settling back on my pillows, I pressed the heel of my hand against my cock to try and calm down. I was rock hard and aching, and we hadn’t even started.
“Now keep your eyes closed and focus on my voice. Only on my voice. Can you do that?”
“Yes,” he said dreamily.
“I want you to picture me standing next to you. I’m looking down at you. I want you. Do you want me?”
“So much,” he said on a sigh.
“Put your hand on your cock. Over your clothes,” I added. “Pretend it’s my hand. Do you want me to touch you?”
“Yes.”
“Stroke yourself, but only ten times.”
“Ten?”
“Yes. Count them out for me.”
“One, two, three…”
I listened as he counted out the ten strokes. It might seem like a strange request, but it was a way to test his willingness to obey my commands.
“Did that feel good?” I asked when he was done.
“Yeah. I want more.”
“I gently pull your sweats down. What do you do?”
“I lift my hips so you can get them off.”
“Are you wearing underwear?”
“Yes.”
“I take those off too. Do you like that?”
“Yes.”
“How about you do that for me now? Take them both off.”
More rustling came over the line, then stopped.
“They’re off.”
“Would you like to take your shirt off for me?”
“Yeah.” The line went quiet, and then the scrape of material over the microphone came over the line as he picked the phone back up. “It’s off.”
“Are you naked?”
“Mostly.” He huffed out a soft laugh. “I still have my socks on.”
“How about you take those off too.”
“Good call.”
I waited until he came back on the line.
“They’re off.”
“Now lay back down and close your eyes for me.”
“Done.”
“Good boy.”
He let out a shuddery sigh.
“Are you naked?” I asked again.
“Yes.”
“Do you like that? Being on display for me?”
“I…yes.”
“I’m getting on the bed with you. I don’t touch you because I want to look at you first. I want to look at every inch of your beautiful body and see what’s mine before I take it.”
He drew in a sharp breath.
“And you’re going to be a good boy and let me, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am. I will be,” he said, his voice taking on an eager tone under his dreaminess.
I closed my eyes for a few beats to center myself. He was so responsive, so hot like this. I needed to get control so I could keep my focus on him.
“I put one hand on your stomach. I’m laying beside you, looking down at you. I’m running my hand down your body to your cock. Do you want me to touch you?”
“Yes, please touch me,” he begged.
“I’m wrapping my hand around your cock. You’re so hard for me, so wet. I grip you, but I don’t stroke. Do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because you haven’t asked yet. If you want me to stroke you, then you need to ask nicely.”
“Please. Please stroke my dick,” he begged, his voice breathless and desperate.
“You still haven’t asked yet.”
“Will you stroke me? Please?”
“Good boy. I’m stroking you nice and slow. Can you feel it? My hand around your cock?”
“Yes,” he said, his voice full of awe. “I can feel it.”
“Stroke yourself for me. Do it exactly the way I would.”
“Okay.” A pause. “I’m stroking.”
“Good boy.”
A soft sigh.
“Does it feel good?” I asked.
“So good.”
“Do you want more?”
“Please.”
“Do you like having your balls played with?”
“Yes, so much.”
“Use your other hand to tease your balls. Do it how you think I would.”
His moan was low and broken and sent a rush of desire sweeping through me.
“I’m on top of you now. Do you like feeling my weight on you?”
“I love it.”
“You spread your legs for me, and I press our cocks together.”
He gasped, then moaned again.
“I tell you to take both of us in hand. Do you do it?”
“Yes! I’m doing it.”
“Good boy. Keep working your dick, but no coming. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I won’t.” He let out another soft moan that made my already rock-hard cock throb with need.
“I’m looking down at you while you get us off. I want to kiss you. Do you want that?”
“Yes. I want to kiss you so bad.”
“I’m leaning down. I’m kissing you, teasing you with my tongue.”
“God, Nice. I wish you were really here.”
“Me too, Sinbin.” I closed my eyes again. Hearing him use my handle was a bit jarring. I’d gotten so into things I’d forgotten we didn’t even know each other’s names. “I keep kissing you, but I want more. Do you?”
“So much more.”
“What do you want?”
“Anything. Everything.”
“Do you want me to blow you?”
“Yes.”
“What about rim you?”
A pause. “Yes?”
“You don’t sound sure. It’s okay if you don’t enjoy it?—”
“It’s not that,” he said, his voice hesitant. “I’ve just never…”
“Never had it done to you?”
“Or done it to anyone else.”
“Is that something you’ve wanted?”
“Yes, but…”
“But?” I prompted when he fell silent.
“It’s nothing.”
“You can tell me.”
“I’m worried it would be gross for you,” he mumbled.
“Trust me when I say it won’t be,” I said with all the confidence I didn’t feel.
The truth was I’d never rimmed anyone, or had it done to me. I’d wanted to, but that was a level of intimacy I couldn’t share with a stranger.
Sinbin didn’t need to know that, especially not during a JOI.
“Does that help put your mind at ease?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Would you want me to rim you? Lick your hole and maybe fuck you with my tongue?”
His strangled cry was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard.
“Yeah, you do.” I pressed the heel of my hand against my cock again to distract myself from how close I was. “Do you want me to fuck you?”
“Yes. I want it so bad.”
“I’m kissing my way down your body. I’m taking my time and teasing your neck, your stomach, your hips, and your thighs. What do you do?”
“I spread my legs for you. Beg you to keep going.”
“I like that. I’m kissing your thighs and running my tongue over your balls. You’re so hard you’re leaking for me. I’m going to taste you, but first I want to tease you.”
“Please,” he moaned.
“I’m licking your shaft nice and slow. You taste so good. I’m running my tongue around your cockhead. Do you want me to take you in my mouth?”
“Yes, so bad.”
“I’m doing that. I’m moving down your dick, sucking nice and hard but moving slow. Are you still stroking?”
“No. I had to stop. Got too close.”
“Good boy.”
“Why is that so hot?” he mumbled.
I knew that was a rhetorical question, so I didn’t bother answering. “I’m sucking you and stroking you with my hand. I love feeling you in my mouth, but I want more. Do you?”
“Yes!”
“I move off you and tell you to spread your legs. What do you do?”
“I spread them.”
“Good boy. Do it for real, right now.”
“Done.”
“Suck on your finger, get it nice and wet.”
His moan was low and muffled.
“When it’s good and wet, I want you to touch your hole. Pretend it’s my tongue. Touch yourself exactly how I tell you, how I would do if I was there with you right now.”
“God, Nice. This is so fucking hot.” He huffed out a bewildered-sounding laugh. “I’m so close.”
“That’s good,” I said, dropping my voice a bit to help soothe him. “You’re doing so good.”
“Yeah?” he asked, a dreamy quality to his voice.
“Yes. You’re perfect. Everything about you is perfect.”
Another sound escaped him, a cross between a sigh and a gasp.
“Now circle your hole. Be gentle because I want to tease you. Are you doing that for me?”
“Yes.”
“Good boy.”
“Fuck,” he mumbled.
“Now press a little harder, not too hard, just enough to feel it.”
His gasp told me he’d obeyed.
“Rub your finger over it. Get yourself nice and wet because I want to fuck you with my tongue. Do you want that?”
“God, yes. Need it.”
“Push your finger inside, only a little bit. Does it feel good? Do you like having my tongue in you?”
“I need to jerk,” he whimpered.
“Will you come if you do?”
“Probably.”
“Not yet.”
He huffed out a disgruntled sound. “I wanna come.”
“I know, but first I need to get my dick in you. I need to fuck you, then maybe you can come.”
“Nice,” he whined.
“I’m still fucking you with my tongue. I’ve lubed up my fingers. I’m pressing one against your hole, and I start to push in. Do you want me to fuck you with it?”
“Yes,” he said on a groan.
“I’m working it inside you. You’re so hot under me, writhing and begging me to fuck you.”
“Yes. Fuck me. Please fuck me.”
“I’m using two fingers now. I’m opening you up so I can give you three. Are you ready for them?”
“So ready.”
“I’ve got three fingers in you. You’re riding my hand. My cock is so hard. I want to fuck you so bad. Do you want that?”
“Yes. Now. Please fuck me now.”
“I’m between your legs, pushing against your hole. I’m sliding inside you.”
“Please let me come,” he begged.
“You will.” My voice was raspy and rough, like I’d tried to swallow gravel. “When I let you.”
His whine was loud and desperate.
“Are you right-handed?”
“Yes.”
“Stroke yourself with your left hand while I slide my dick in you. Make yourself feel good, but no coming.”
“God, Nice.” His harsh breaths came over the line, loud and perfect. “I’m so close.”
“I know.” I made sure to keep my voice low and gentle. “You’re doing good, Sinbin.”
“I need you,” he whispered.
“You have me,” I said softly. “I’m inside you. You feel so good around me, look so beautiful under me.”
I closed my eyes and let myself picture it, imagining how it would feel to be on Sinbin, in him. I still couldn’t give him a face, but that didn’t matter. I could make do with knowing what his body looked like and hearing him come apart for me.
“I’m kissing you and moving inside you. I’m going slow. Do you know why?”
“Why?” he asked breathlessly.
“Because I want to watch every second of your pleasure. I want to see how good I make you feel.”
“You make me feel so good,” he mumbled. “Better than anyone ever has.”
I could tell by the faraway quality of his voice that he was deep into it. Everything he was saying was just a stream of consciousness; I couldn’t read into it but fuck if I didn’t love hearing that.
“You wrap your arms and legs around me. Are you kissing me back?”
“Yes.”
“Are you still stroking?”
“Barely,” he huffed out a strained laugh. “I’m so close.”
“Are you still playing with your hole?”
“No. Had to stop. Felt too good.”
“Do you want to touch it now?” I knew I was playing with fire. He was already so close to the edge, but I wanted to see how far I could push him.
“I’ll come.”
“Let go of your dick.”
He let out a disgruntled harrumph .
“Now spit into your right hand.” I wished I’d had the forethought to get him to have lube handy, but spit would work for what I was planning.
He must have pulled the phone away because the next thing I heard was his soft “I did it.”
“Rub your hole. Get yourself nice and slick.”
“Nice,” he groaned.
“How do you like to be fucked?” I asked to distract him. “What’s your favorite position?” I tried again when he didn’t answer.
“I’m not sure.” His voice was hesitant. “I’ve only ever done it a few ways.”
“Which ways?”
“From behind. Standing or doggy.”
That was it?
“I don’t get to bottom often,” he said, sounding more alert than he had a minute ago.
“Do you like the idea of being on top?” I asked. “Riding my cock so I can look up at you?”
“Yeah. I like that,” he said on a sigh, slipping back into his happy place.
“What about with me on top? Laying on you so I can feel and see all of you?”
“I want that so bad,” he moaned. “Please let me come.”
“Not yet,” I soothed. “Soon. You’re doing so good. You just need to hold off a little longer.”
“Are you stroking?” he asked.
I slid my hand under my sweats and gave myself a long, slow stroke. “I am.”
“I wish I was there, or you were here. I wanna feel you so bad, want your cock so bad,” he babbled.
I’d planned to edge him. To bring him right to the brink of pleasure before making him stop, only to start the cycle until he couldn’t take it anymore, but I was too close.
I’d only given myself a single stroke, and I could feel my orgasm creeping up on me, building like a storm and ready to hit when I least expected it.
“I’m moving faster,” I said, my voice harsh with lust and the effort of not rushing this next part so we could both find release. “I’m fucking you for real now, pounding into your perfect ass. Do you like that? Do you like to be fucked hard?”
“Yes. I love it. I need it.”
“Do you want to come?”
“Please,” he begged.
“Touch your hole.”
He gasped.
“Are you touching it?” I barely recognized my voice with how rough and raspy it was.
“Yes,” he moaned.
“Push your finger inside. Not far. Just enough to get to your spot.”
“Oh fuck,” he breathed.
“Rub your spot for me. Pretend it’s my cock while I fuck you,” I paused. This went beyond jerking off, and he was so far gone I wasn’t sure he’d be able to use his safe words or say no if he wasn’t into it. “Only if you want to.”
“I want to.” Another loud gasp. “Fuck, Nice. I can’t,” he panted. “I need to come.”
“Do it,” I commanded, finally giving in and jerking with him. “Stroke that perfect dick for me while I fuck you exactly how you need.”
“Oh god,” he groaned. “I can’t. I’m too close.” A hint of panic crept into his voice.
“It’s okay,” I soothed, slowing my hand to make sure I had enough control to get him through this. “Just relax for me.”
His breathing picked up, harsh and loud in my ear.
I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like he was stuck in his head. His body wanted to let go, but something was stopping him from giving in to his orgasm.
“You’re doing good.” I let go of my dick so I didn’t come. “Focus on my voice and only my voice. Can you do that?”
“Yeah,” he said on another sharp gasp.
“Good boy.”
His breathing slowed the slightest bit.
“I’m kissing you, pressing you into the bed with my weight,” I kept my tone even and low. “I’m stroking you as I fuck you. You feel so good, look so beautiful under me. I need to come.”
“Want to feel it,” he mumbled.
Hurriedly, I shoved my sweats down so my cock sprang free. “I’m so hard for you, Sinbin.”
He moaned. “You are?”
“Yes. So hard.” I gave myself a slow stroke. “I’m so close, but I can’t come until you do. Do you want to come with me?”
“Yes,” he sighed, sounding relaxed again.
“What do you want me to do to you? What will make you come?”
“Kiss me,” he said, that dreamy quality back in his voice as he finally let go of whatever was holding him back. “Want to feel all of you.”
“I’m kissing you. Holding you and moving exactly how you need.” I groaned, letting him hear how close I was. “Tell me what you’re doing right now.”
“I’m jerking off and fingering myself.” He rumbled out a low moan. “It feels so good, but it’s not enough.”
“You wish my dick was inside you?” I rasped.
“Yes.”
“Next time I’m going to make you use a dildo.” I paused as my words registered. Next time .
I hadn’t even come yet, and I was already thinking about next time? This was dangerous.
Sinbin’s gasp assured me I hadn’t freaked him out by mentioning another repeat.
“Have you fuck yourself with it while pretending it’s my cock. Maybe I’ll make you use it until you come hands-free.”
His garbled cry was loud and unrestrained.
“Have you ever come without touching yourself?”
“No.” He made a high-pitched sound.
“I bet I could make you come hands-free,” I rasped. “Maybe I’ll hold you down and fuck you nice and slow. Go for hours until you’re out of your mind with need and come all over yourself.”
“Oh god!”
I squeezed my eyes closed and bit my lip so hard I tasted blood, desperately trying to stave off my orgasm.
“Or maybe I’ll bend you over and fuck you hard and fast. Take you whenever, wherever I want.”
His cry was different. He was almost there.
I had no idea how I could tell after one JOI, but I could feel that he was close and just needed a little more.
“You’d look so hot like that,” I rasped. “All spread out and begging for my cock. Can you picture it? Me on top of you and fucking you so hard you’re about to come without touching yourself?”
His cry was loud and full of relief, then a string of profanities as he finally came.
That was too much, and I came in a burst of pleasure, crying out and stroking myself through it as I shot all over my shirt and even my neck.
I lay against my pillows, my hand on my spent cock and my chest heaving as my mind spun. That was the hottest thing I’d ever experienced, and it had been with a guy I’d never met or seen in real life.
A soft whimper knocked me back into reality.
Shaking off my stupor, I focused on Sinbin.
“Are you with me?” I asked softly.
He made a snuffling sound, seemingly unable to speak yet.
“Just relax and enjoy the pleasure,” I said. Hopefully he was coherent enough to hear me. “Sink into it and let it wash over you. You’re safe. I’m here, and I’ve got you.”
“You do?” he mumbled dreamily.
“Yes. I’m right here with you. Can you get under your covers for me?”
“My head feels funny.”
“I know, and it’s normal. It’ll pass soon, I promise. Can you get under your blankets for me?” I asked again. Getting warm and covering his nudity should help him gently ease out of the daze he’d fallen into.
“I think so.” Rustling came over the phone, then some grumbling as he presumably slid under the blankets. “Did it,” he reported, sounding a bit more alert than he had a moment ago.
“Good boy. Now keep your eyes closed and imagine I’m in bed with you. I’m holding you close. I’m kissing your cheek, your neck, even your hair. Now I’m putting my lips next to your ear so I can tell you how amazing you are. You made me so hot, and I came so hard. You were perfect.”
He mumbled something I couldn’t make out, and I kept talking. Telling him how much I’d enjoyed that and how good he’d been as he slowly shook off the fog of pleasure.
When his breathing was back to normal, he cleared his throat. “Jesus,” he mumbled.
I huffed out a laugh, unable to help it.
After a moment, he laughed too.
“I have no idea what’s funny,” he said, still laughing.
“Nothing’s funny,” I assured him. “I think my brain short-circuited for a second there.”
“Pretty sure my whole body is glitching out right now,” he said, his voice back to normal. “That was…intense.”
“It was. How do you feel?”
“Weird. Out of it. Embarrassed.”
“Why are you embarrassed?”
“I…I don’t know.” Something in his voice was off.
“You don’t know, or you don’t want to say?” I asked gently.
“I don’t want to say,” he mumbled.
“Don’t be embarrassed. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
He huffed out a laugh. “Pretty sure I do.”
“You don’t,” I insisted. “Do you still feel out of it?”
There was no point trying to talk to him about this while he was still shaking off the subspace.
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I had no idea it could be like that.”
“Me either,” I said honestly.
“That was good for you?” he asked, sounding shy all of a sudden.
“Amazing. I loved every second of it.”
“I thought you’d hang up,” he said, still not fully with it.
“Not until I know you’re okay. It’s my job to take care of you. Not just during our calls, but after too.”
“You’re a nice guy.” He snickered. “Mr. Nice Guy.”
“This is called aftercare.” Hopefully he was alert enough to understand what I was saying. “It’s hard to do over the phone, but it’s an important part of what we just did.”
“It is?”
“Yes. Coming out of subspace can be disorienting, and it’s my responsibility to make sure you don’t experience a crash.”
“A crash?” I couldn’t be sure, but he sounded like he was mostly with me.
“Adrenaline,” I said. “The floaty feeling is what happens when you let go. But as you come out of it, your body releases adrenaline. That’s why you might be cold or shaky or feel a sense of impending doom. It’s natural, and it’ll pass, but it can really mess you up if you try to deal with it alone.” I paused, jealousy curling in my gut. I didn’t want to say this next part, but it was important. I needed to put whatever the fuck was going on with me aside to make sure he stayed safe in the future. “If you talk to someone else on here, make sure?—”
“That’s not gonna happen,” he said on a laugh. “Talking to someone else after that would be the same as going to a fast-food restaurant after a steak dinner.”
I laughed and tried not to think too hard about what he was saying. He was still dealing with the effects of subspace. Nothing he said could be taken as a fact right now.
“That would be a huge disappointment,” I agreed. “But in case you do, make sure it’s with someone who knows what they’re doing. If they don’t bring up limits or triggers or safe words, then they probably have no idea that kind of power exchange isn’t just about orgasms and getting your bossy on.”
“Okay. I’ll be careful.” A pause. “That was really hot.”
“It was.”
“I’m glad you were online tonight.”
“Me too. How do you feel now?”
“Better. Almost normal. I’m going to have to change my sheets because of the mess, but it was totally worth it.”
“I’m glad.” I tugged the hair tie free and tossed it on the mattress as my hair fell around my shoulders.
“I really needed that,” he said, his voice shy again.
“Me too.” I paused. I wanted to keep talking to him, but instead I said, “I should go clean up.”
“Yeah, I need to do that too.”
“Goodnight.”
“Night.” He ended the call, and the line went dead.
I put my phone down and stared at the mess on my shirt.
As amazing as that had been, and as much as I wanted to talk to Sinbin again, I couldn’t. I was getting attached, and that was dangerous.
I liked him, and not just the sex stuff. He was funny and a bit sassy, but still sweet and somehow innocent. He was someone I could be friends with, which was why I needed to end things now.
I eyed the block button and chewed on my lip. Blocking him would be the smart thing to do.
With a disgruntled sigh, I exited out of Kinksters and tossed my phone aside. I needed to clean up and get some sleep. I could deal with this tomorrow.