Chapter 30
Marshall
“Earth to Marshall,” Wyatt said a few weeks later while we were in the conference room of the Last Hope headquarters. “Did you hear what I said?”
“Sorry,” I muttered as I looked up from the file I was supposed to be studying. “I guess I lost my focus.”
In reality, I’d just been staring at the words on paper.
I’d been completely worthless since the day I’d said goodbye to my woman and my child.
Emma and I spoke on the phone twice a day.
Once in the morning, and again in the evening after Wren went to bed.
I talked to Wren every day after school.
It wasn’t enough.
There wasn’t a single moment of the day when I didn’t want to actually be there with them in person.
Every day was pure hell for me right now.
“Your focus has been nonexistent since the moment you got back from Michigan,” Wyatt said drily. “Don’t you think it’s time for you to admit that you’re not functioning well without Emma?”
“Do you think I don’t know that?” I growled as I slammed my fist on the table. “What am I supposed to do about that?”
Wyatt lifted a brow. “You could start by admitting that you love her and that you want to be in the same place with her.”
“I do love her,” I grumbled. “I probably always have.”
I’d almost told her that when I was in Michigan when we were sharing a lounger by the pool a few days before I’d left.
She’d kissed me before I could get those words out of my mouth.
Later, my rational mind had prevailed.
What if she didn’t feel the same way?
We hadn’t really been together for long.
What if those weren’t words that she wanted to hear yet?
I’d convinced myself that she needed more time, and that I’d have to patient.
“I think it would help if you just told her,” Wyatt observed.
“And then what?” I said gruffly.
He shrugged. “And then you figure it out. You’re an intelligent guy.
If you want to be with Emma and Wren, you find a way to make it happen.
It’s not like you can’t live in Cherry Cove if you want to.
There are five other guys who can run the actual missions for Last Hope.
You can do all of the planning and research remotely. ”
“You guys would do that?” I asked hesitantly.
“You know we would,” Wyatt answered. “We’re all here for the operations anyway. We’re all perfectly capable of running the rescues. You’ve given up your entire life for Last Hope, Marshall. I think it’s time for you to do what makes you happy.”
“It used to be my priority,” I admitted. “But my priorities have changed.”
He nodded. “I get that. Shelby and my unborn child are my priorities. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about Last Hope, but I’d give it up for my wife and my child if necessary.”
Hell, I’d give up anything for Emma and Wren, too.
Last Hope had been my entire life until I’d realized that there were things in my life that were more important than the organization I’d poured myself into for years.
Our mission here meant a lot to me, but not as much as my woman and my child.
“What if Emma doesn’t want me to intrude on her life in Cherry Cove?” I asked Wyatt.
“I find that highly unlikely,” Wyatt replied. “Brock mentioned that Emma hasn’t been herself since you left. I think she’s missing you as much as you’re missing her. I guess you’re just going to have to ask her.”
He was right.
All of this was complete bullshit.
I loved Emma, and I was going to have to take that risk.
I’d copped out after my first attempt at telling her how I felt.
I’d made excuses, but in reality, I’d probably been afraid that she wasn’t going to be able to say those words back to me yet.
“Get out of your own head, Marshall,” Wyatt added.
“That rational brain of yours is going to ruin something you’ve wanted for a long time if you don’t.
Love isn’t always rational. It took me a long time to realize that.
I finally had no choice but to pull my head out of my ass, but you already know that. ”
I slowly nodded.
I’d seen every one of my partners go through their own personal hell before they’d found their own happiness.
I’d never understood why anyone would want to go through that for a woman.
But I understood it now.
Emma wasn’t just any woman.
She was my woman.
If I would have pulled my head out of my ass fourteen years ago, I would have realized that a long time ago.
“I need to go back to Michigan and talk to her about this in person,” I told Wyatt.
I wasn’t going to tell her that I loved her for the first time on the damn phone.
He grinned at me and looked at his watch. “No need. Emma will be landing here in two hours.”
I gaped at him. “How is that possible?”
“Shelby was worried about you. She said your brain was total shit and that you weren’t yourself.
She called Emma and asked her to come because you needed her.
Wren is staying with Brock for the next week.
You have a week to convince Emma that the two of you need to be together.
Don’t fuck it up, Marshall. You do need her. ”
It took a moment for that information to sink into my brain.
Emma was coming here?
In two hours?
“I’ll pick her up at the airport,” I sputtered, my heart thundering in my ears.
Wyatt shook his head. “No need for that, either. Shelby is taking a limo herself to get Emma. I think she wants a little time for some girl talk. She’ll drop her off at your place. I suggest you use the next few hours to find a ring so you can ask Emma to marry you. That is what you want, right?”
“It’s exactly what I want, but—”
“For once in your life stop thinking, Marshall,” Wyatt said firmly.
“Go with your gut and your heart. Go after what you want and screw everything else. For what it’s worth, I don’t think Emma is going to say no.
She literally dropped everything to get here to California because she thought you needed her.
Shelby made sure that she knew that you weren’t physically hurt. ”
“What did Shelby tell her?” I asked.
Wyatt shrugged. “I’m not exactly sure, but whatever she said got Emma on my jet.”
“I should probably be pissed off about this,” I grumbled.
“But you’re not because you want to see Emma,” Wyatt countered. “You have friends here who care about you, Marshall. You know how much Shelby cares. It bothered her to see you this unhappy. It unsettles all of us. Marry Emma for fuck’s sake and go back to being your normal asshole self again.”
I grinned at Wyatt. “I’ll never be quite the same guy.”
Hell, I hadn’t been the same guy since the moment I’d seen Emma again.
“I can live with that as long as your brain finds its way back into your head.”
I’d never really stopped to appreciate the people who were important in my life here in California.
Granted, I wasn’t a people person, and I’d never really hung out with my billionaire partners on a regular basis, but they were important in my life.
“I’m not good at thanking anyone for anything,” I said hesitantly.
Wyatt let out an exasperated breath. “We’re your friends, Marshall.
I’ve lost track of how many times you’ve helped all of us and actually saved our asses when we needed your help.
In my mind, whatever we can do for you is pathetically small in exchange for all of the things you’ve done for us for years. ”
“It’s a big deal to me,” I told him honestly.
My friends were helping me pull my head out of my ass and getting Emma to California so I could fix this situation.
That meant a lot to me.
“Then we’ll have a beer when this is over and you can thank us when we’re together. We’ll all tell you that thanks are never needed. Now get out of here. I think you have things you need to do.”
I got to my feet. “I think I should let Emma pick out her own ring.”
I was definitely asking her to marry me, but if by some miracle she did say yes, I wanted Emma to have something she loved on her finger.
Wyatt grimaced. “She’ll pick out something small and barely noticeable.”
I hadn’t thought about that.
Knowing Emma, she’d be worried about keeping the ring within some kind of budget because that was the way she’d always lived.
“She’s always lived on a budget because she was raising Wren by herself,” I pondered. “You’re right. I’ll stop by the jewelry store on the way home.”
I knew what Emma liked in antique jewelry, but she was getting a ring that was all hers and that had never been worn by anyone else this time.
“Call me when you get all of this resolved,” Wyatt called out as I headed toward the door.
“You’ll be the first one to know,” I called back.
The fact that Emma was on her way to California from Michigan hadn’t quite sunk in for me yet, but I needed to get my ass moving and get some things done.
I’d realized that I’d made a huge mistake by leaving Michigan in the first place without letting Emma know exactly how I felt.
I should have just taken my chances and said the words I’d wanted to say before I’d left the state.
What in the hell had I been thinking?
Emma had been a gift that had been given to me for the second time in my life, and I’d left again without telling her how I felt.
I knew exactly why I’d done it.
I hadn’t wanted to leave myself wide open to getting my heart broken if she didn’t feel the same way I did.
I’d made every excuse possible not to put myself in that position.
Fuck that!
I’d spent most of my life doing what I thought was rational, and that definitely hadn’t made me happy.
I was going to take my one shot at happiness and forget about the possible consequences.
It was something I should have done fourteen fucking years ago, and I was tired of living with regrets.