Chapter 33
CHAPTER
THIRTY-THREE
PHOENIX
I paced the hospital room. It was a plain, very basic room. Just one bed, though. Which was good. We didn’t have to worry about filtering our conversations because she was sharing a room with another patient.
The bed took up most of the room, but there was a big window and a recliner chair. I’d sat in it for a while, but when I called Sam’s mom to walk her through everything that had happened, I’d gotten up to pace.
Ten steps to one end of the room. Five down the length. Ten to the head of Sam’s bed. And then I started over again.
“This sounds like quite a trip,” Ana said when I finished telling her about what had happened. “The tests all sound like she’ll be okay. Has she had fluids?”
“Yes. We’ve given her two bags so far, but she’s still asleep.”
“Has she eaten?” Ana asked. Her voice was calm, but I knew she had to be worried.
I was still worried, and I’d talked to a team of doctors who swore to me she’d be okay.
“Not since dinner.” I glanced at my watch. The sun had risen on our way to the hospital, but we didn’t have to wait in the ER. The pack doc had privileges at the hospital and got her admitted quickly. “She’s been mostly out of it. She slept through the CT, but the concussion is mild, or else we’d be stuck here for at least a few days. She can go home whenever she wants, which will be when she wakes up. One of the last things she said to me before she fell asleep was that she wanted to go home.”
“She always wants to go home. She needs to feel safe, and this is her safe place.”
“I get that.” What else was I forgetting to tell Ana? “Doc said she’ll need to go screen-free for a bit while her brain heals, but…”
“She’s been through worse, Phoenix. She’s tough. She’ll be okay.” Ana was trying to comfort me, and I appreciated it, but I wasn’t sure I could be comforted. Not until Sam was awake and she could tell me herself how she was feeling.
“I just…” I paused my pacing to stand over Samantha. “She scared me.”
“I get that. I do. I’ve been there so many times.”
My eyes burned, and I cleared my throat, trying to shove the feelings away. “But, um…I have someone on standby at a place with really good migas for her. I have a coffee ready to go in a cold cup. I was kind of a jerk about it. I made one of the guys here FaceTime me while he made it then bring it to me.”
Ana laughed softly.
I started pacing again. “And she’s had enough fluids that I’m not going to hesitate to give it to her.” I wasn’t going to fight with Ana about that. She could be unhappy with me, but if Sam wanted her coffee, I was giving her the coffee.
“Already taking her side, huh?” There was a smile in her voice.
“Yeah.” I leaned against the wall by the window and closed my eyes. “I’ve never been so scared in my life. That monster had her and…” I swallowed. “I don’t know how she’s okay, Ana. She hit the pavement hard, and then her head hit the wall in the attic, she bounced when she hit the floor…it was bad. Her whole side and back are seriously bruised, and I was worried there was some internal bleeding or that her back was broken, but everything came back clear. Just bruised.”
“Not going to lie, Nix. That sounds really bad. Where was Eli?”
“He…it’s complicated. But he didn’t show until the fight was over.”
Ana made a frustrated sound. “She’s okay, though. Right? There isn’t something you’re forgetting to tell me?” Her voice was a little more high-pitched than normal, finally showing her nerves. “You sound pretty upset for someone who keeps saying everything is okay.”
Somehow hearing the worry in Ana’s voice made feel like I wasn’t totally unhinged for freaking out. “It’s just me. I can’t settle down. The pack doc and the team here all agree that she’s mostly fine. Just beat up. Her ankle is sprained but not broken. He gave us a brace for it, and the doc said it should be fully healed in a week or two.”
Ana grunted. “She’s not going to like that.”
“Nope. She’s got some bruises around her neck from where the monster strangled her, but those will fade. When she was awake, she said her throat was sore, but the docs said that was normal for strangulation victims.” I swallowed down the waves of fear and anger and helplessness that made me want to throw up. “She has some cuts on her face, so I had them call in a plastic surgeon to look at it. He gave us some special creams, but said it shouldn’t scar. She looks bad, though.” I rubbed my forehead, trying to stop the headache that was building there from the stress of seeing her hurt. “But they said she’s fine.” I knew I’d said it over and over again, but mostly I was saying it so I could believe it. “She can go home when she wakes up, and unless she changes her mind, that’s what we’ll do.”
She gave a little mmm-hmm. “And how are you, Nix? Have you eaten?”
Was she kidding? “No. Every time I think about it, I want to throw up.” I was still shaking. I knew it’d stop sometime, but it felt like I’d been having a panic attack since we got here, and they started talking about scans and brain damage and concern over why she wasn’t able to stay awake.
But everything had come back okay, and still, I couldn’t settle.
If they’d said she couldn’t travel, I was going to ask Dastien to send a plane for Ana. I just…I’d never had to advocate for someone in a hospital setting before. I didn’t know if I was making the right calls. The pack doc was great, but was he the best? I had no clue.
But she could travel. Thank God. Once she was rested, we’d go straight home.
“Nix. You have to calm down. You have to breathe. Like this.” She took an audible breath and let it out slowly. She did it again and again, and I breathed with her, even though I felt like I was suffocating the first couple times.
“That sounds a little better. Can I give you some advice?”
“Yeah. Anything.” She’d been doing this for a lot longer than I had, and I trusted her. Probably even more than I trusted my own mother. I looked at Sam in the bed.
Her chest moved steadily up and down as she breathed. She was fine. Sleeping soundly.
“Get in bed with her.”
“Ana,” I whisper-shouted at the phone. What the shit was this? “I’m not taking advantage?—”
“ Woooow , Nix. You must be really far gone if you think I meant that .”
I squeezed my eyes closed. Oh my fucking god. I was an idiot, and beyond embarrassed. “Sorry. My brain isn’t working and?—”
“Nix. Hear my words. You have to calm down. You have to regulate your own nervous system, or you won’t be able to help her. The thing that I found worked for me was physically feeling that she was okay. I would get into the hospital bed with her, and wrap my body around hers. Feeling her warmth, her breathing, her being alive, helped me calm down. She used to think I did that for her comfort, but it was always for mine. I needed it way more than she did. So, get in the hospital bed next to her and close your eyes. Feel her warmth. Feel her breathing. I bet you twenty bucks it’ll help calm you down.”
“What if she wakes up when I get in the bed?” Sam needed to rest. She was healing while her body slept.
“Then, give her the coffee you just ranted about. She’ll call you her savior and be even more in love with you than she already is.”
Hearing her mom say that calmed me down a lot. We hadn’t said those words to each other. It was too soon, and yet, it wasn’t. It really wasn’t.
I laughed because this was just too much. I was getting ahead of myself again. “Okay.”
“You’re doing a great job.”
All the air rushed from my lungs and my eyes burned. “You think so?” My voice was way too hight. I cleared my throat. “Truly? You’re not just saying that?”
“I know so. I know you love my daughter and are doing the very best for her. Calling in the plastic surgeon to consult about her face was a good call. Demanding a full scan to check for internal bleeding was also great.” She paused. “You’re doing great. You just need to calm down now.”
Right. She said that like it was easy. I pressed a fist to my heart, willing it to slow down as I took measured breaths. My heart didn’t even race like this when I was in the middle of a championship game.
“Get in bed with her. Try to rest. You’ve been up for over twenty-four hours now, and that’s not helping your anxiety.”
I’d never had trouble with anxiety before, but apparently, seeing Sam getting beaten up by a monster was enough to set me off. That was my limit.
“I’ll call Frank and let him know she’s okay.”
Oh. Right. I hadn’t even thought about Frank. “Appreciate it.”
“Call me when she wakes up.”
“Will do. Talk soon. Bye.”
“Bye,” Ana said.
I hung up and took the two steps to the hospital bed. Sam was sleeping deeply, and I was really glad for that.
Maybe Ana had a point. It was worth a shot.
I’d showered while Tessa watched over Sam. They’d brought me some of the sweats that they always seemed to have stashed everywhere. Now, I knew why. Werewolves often ended up naked and needed clothes quickly.
But at least I was clean. Which made me feel a little better about climbing into bed with her.
Tessa and Dastien had gone to get food, shower, settle some stuff with the Wayfarers, and most importantly, grab our bags from the house. They’d be back any minute now, and when they got here, we’d wait for Sam to wake up, then fly home. All I had to do was wait, and Ana might be right. Waiting in her bed—and getting some rest, too—might help.
I toed off my shoes and slid onto the bed next to her, laying on my side so I could watch her sleep. I wanted to hold her hand, but I was scared it would wake her up. Instead, I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of her breathing. It was so soft I had to really concentrate to hear it.
I could still see the supernatural realm, but while I’d waited for her to get out of her scans, I’d figured out that if I focused hard enough, I could make it go away. It’d been essential here because Sam wasn’t kidding, there was too much spiritual noise in the hospital. It was oppressive. But it’d also been helpful.
I’d gone through the hospital and looked into empty rooms until I found the only one that wasn’t full of spiritual awfulness. The pack doc made sure that one was her room, and I was grateful.
Her friends in the pack were actually really amazing. I hadn’t been around such a genuinely good group of people before. Even Max had grown on me.
Max was the one waiting to order food for Sam as soon as she woke up. He was thankful Sam saved him from losing more pack members. I felt bad for him, but I think he was getting over the realization that Sam wasn’t free anymore.
Max and his Wayfarers were planning to stay in Charleston to make sure everything was truly okay before heading to their home base in Colorado. He wanted to do something nice for her before she left, and food was an easy way to do that. A thank you and an apology was what he called it, but I didn’t think Sam needed either of those. She wasn’t someone to hold a grudge or require a thank you for something she considered her calling.
After a few minutes of lying next to Sam, I realized Ana was right. My heart didn’t feel like it was pumping so fast it was going to explode anymore. The tumbling knot in my stomach was slowing and settling. The feeling that I was going to lose her was fading.
I focused on that feeling, and then loosened my vision, letting the spiritual realm fill it again, so that I could stare at the bond between us.
Anchor. That was what he called me. An anchor so her soul never got lost. But Eli had implied more in the attic. She’d asked him to heal her, but he refused. But then he’d asked if we’d found out everything our bond could do, which made me think that the two were connected.
I’d seen the werewolf mates talk to each other through their bonds, but I wondered if maybe I could send strength through ours. Or healing. Or something that could help her.
Wait. I remembered something.
When she was closing the portal in the yellow house, I touched her and wanted to give her some strength, and it seemed to work. I thought I was imagining it or just wanted it to be true, but what if it was? What if I’d done that?
Could I do it again?
There wasn’t any harm in trying.
I closed my eyes and thought about the bond. I pictured it in my mind, and then I pictured a white light flowing from my side to her. I pictured her brain healing, the bruises fading, the road rash on her face disappearing, the swelling of her ankle going down, and every other little injury the doctors had cataloged going away.
It was instinctive, and I grew warmer as I focused on that bond.
There was a gasp, and my eyes opened.
Sam stared at me with wide eyes. “Phoenix…”
Whoa. Did that really just work? “Hi, Sam.”
“What did you just do?” she whispered.
I studied her face and saw that it was healed. No scrapes. No bruising.
Holy shit. Eli was right. He gave me the key to help her. To truly be the one to help her do what only she could do. This was the biggest gift I could imagine, and I was beyond grateful.
And suddenly I was starving. For food, for her, for the life we’d build together.
I brushed a kiss on her forehead. “My job. I did my job.” I leaned forward, and I kissed her.
But it wasn’t just a kiss.
It was everything. I poured the strength into it, and when her mouth opened in a gasp, I deepened the kiss until both of us were gasping and pulling at each other and?—
Someone knocked on the door, and I realized I was hovering over her on my forearms. “Yep. That’s it. I can’t keep it in anymore. I love you.” I pressed my forehead to hers. “And I’m sorry, but we’re just going to have to get married now.”
Sam gasped, and her eyes widened, but before she could say anything, the door swung open, slamming into the wall.
“ What did you just say?!” Tessa yelled.
Sam and I both started laughing. I was pretty sure Sam thought I was joking, but I wasn’t.
I definitely wasn’t.
But if she needed time to get used to the idea, that was okay. I could wait.
I moved back to my spot beside her, and Dastien caught my gaze.
He gave me a nod, and I knew what he meant.
The same thing had happened to him when he kissed Tessa. His wolf had chosen for him, and that was it. He would’ve married her the second he met her. He’d told me that much earlier.
I didn’t have a wolf to blame or a bite to give, but I was just as serious.
This was forever.
This wasn’t our last battle against evil. God had given me this power—given it to me so that I could guard and protect Samantha—and I would to take my role very, very seriously.
I didn’t know when the next battle would come or what tomorrow would bring. It wasn’t going to be easy. I knew that much. And we had hurdles to face—like my mother—who was going to have to get over it. Because Sam was it for me.
She was everything.
Whatever life brought us, from here on out, we’d face it together.