Chapter Eight
Xiomara
I barely remembered the ride on the back of Ink’s bike. I only knew the wind on my face and the blur of buildings and cornfields as we sped across the highway. When he finally stopped, that numb state had almost completely dissipated and in its place was shame.
I thought I was done with that.
The rage.
The kind that morphed me into a different person entirely and made me black out and forget myself, like someone who’d shot back too much tequila. There were blank spaces for a while until memories rushed back in flashes.
Of my hands closing around a bat and striking heads. Of the pain of being struck, kicked, beaten, only to get back up again and give them what they deserved.
But this time, I’d gone too far.
I tried to see if guilt would settle, and I think that was what shamed me most of all. It didn’t exist. I didn’t give a fuck that I’d killed those men. They deserved it.
Was I a broken human because of it? Would Ink recoil from me now?
He didn’t. He took my hand and pulled me towards a two story home behind a stone wall with electric wire circling the top. I barely glanced at the place. Even as he took me inside.
Even as I heard a small gasp and Ink’s reply, “Go back to sleep, ma. She’s fine.”
And then I was being pushed to a seat.
I reacted, taking in a breath and looking around. I was obviously in Ink’s room. If the dark decor was of any indication.
He moved about with confidence and determination before he kneeled in front of me between my open legs.
Silently, he took my hands and swept a wet cloth over my split knuckles. I didn’t even wince at the sting.
“Fuck, Xiomara,” Ink rumbled. “What happened?”
It was spoken like an order. A command.
He wanted the truth, and he’d get it. One way or another.
I waited until he finished wiping the blood clean from one hand and started on the other before I spoke.
“They came in looking to leave you a message through me.”
His grip tightened on my hand at those words.
“So I defended myself.”
This earned me a chuckle, one I was surprised to hear come from his lips. “I can see that…”
“The bodies…I can’t go to jail. My mamá needs me. She needs money. She’s getting on in years.”
“You aren’t going to jail, Xiomara.”
I stared doubtfully at him. “Last time I checked, killing someone–let alone three someones–lands you in prison.”
“Loco is going to take care of it. They’re cleaning up the bodies as we speak, plus Los Diablos have the police in our pockets. No one is going to arrest you. You aren’t going to prison.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. You're safe.”
Tension eased from my shoulders. Good. Los Diablos would protect me. I believed in that. In him.
“Xiomara…” Ink lowered one of my hands and reached the rag up to swipe the blood from my face. Even in that he was tender and I winced when he went near my eye. “Why did you get fired from your last job?”
Another demand.
I wanted to look away but he commanded my attention until I became lost in him. “My manager felt me up behind the counter,” I confessed. “And then… I blacked out.” At his questioning look, I elaborated. “There’s a rage inside me, Ink. It turns me into a different person. Into someone who beats three grown men to death with a bat. I beat my manager up. He didn’t die, but I wished he had.”
I whispered my confession, wondering if I’d see disgust in Ink’s face. He dropped the rag and cupped my cheek. What I saw in his face wasn’t disgust.
It was reverence.
“I’m sorry my club dragged you into our shit. I promise, I’ll keep you safe from now on. No one will ever mark your skin again.” His hands caressed my body, electrifying every single nerve inside me. “Only I get to do that. With ink.”
My heart sped up. No one had promised me security before. I was independent enough to know I could care for myself, but also self-aware enough to know that I’d craved those words.
“And if you want to quit, I understand.”
My hands clamped against his wrists, tightening despite the ache it caused. “No,” I said. “Please. My family needs me to bring money in.”
“Okay.” His thumbs swiped across my cheeks. “I promise you, Los Diablos has your back. What you did tonight? We will remember this. You will be repaid in full.”
My eyes closed in relief as Ink pressed his forehead against mine.
He breathed deeply and I did the same. Like we were breathing one another in. Like we could taste the salt of each other’s souls, hear the rhythm of our hearts and somehow sync them together.
My heart calmed in his presence, content, and something low in my gut coiled at the proximity. Something new. His promises of protection and sincerity washed over me.
Something I never thought I’d crave until I had it before me. The air shifted. My skin felt electrified, and when I opened my eyes, it was to find him already staring at me.
“I want to kiss you,” he whispered.
The confession felt forbidden in the space between us, and the words startled me, if only because I never imagined him saying them, but they were exactly what I wanted. What I’d craved for the longest time. Perhaps I hadn’t even realized it until right then.
“Yes.”
He leaned close, his lips grazing mine a fraction. The scrape of his beard against my skin. A sigh left me and I leaned closer, waiting for that first touch… just for Ink to pull back.
“I can’t, though.”
I blinked in confusion.
What–
“You’re my employee.”
That statement pulled pain into me. I couldn’t shake it, but I knew he was right. No matter how disappointed a part of me was for that fact.
Maybe it was the moment, the adrenaline crashing from the day. All I knew was that this was a bad idea. He was my boss and we had no business starting something neither of us could finish.
I pulled away. “Can you take me home?”
If he was taken aback by my abrupt request, he didn’t say anything. He took my hand silently and we both stood up.
I couldn’t breathe clearly until he dropped me off at my own place. Even then, I said nothing as I went forward and closed the door behind me.
Thankfully, my mamá didn’t wake. Not even as I stripped and hopped in the shower.
I washed the day off and let my tears mingle with the water.
And let my sins roll from my back. Tomorrow would be a new day.