CHAPTER 33DENISE
CHAPTER 33
DENISE
I could have killed him. Gutted him. Wrapped my hands around his neck and watched him fight to breathe. My only other logical option was to go off to the bathroom and come over and over until I went deaf, dumb, and blind. But I wasn’t a quitter, so I was going to do everything I could to try and keep it cool. Keep it cool and eat a fucking sandwich as if my blood wasn’t searing through my veins.
As we worked through our food, the vibrator was blissfully still. He’d kept me revved the fuck up for almost an hour before he came to my office to continue teaching me in person.
I watched as his throat bobbed while he swallowed, and I licked my lips at the idea of putting my hands around his neck as he fucked me. That moment in the kitchen was on replay in my brain. The way his strokes became a hurried rhythm when I’d grabbed his tie and pulled him to me as he’d fucked the stuffing out of me on his marble counters. The memory was echoing in my brain and now I couldn’t stop thinking about the way his lips, teeth, and tongue had worked in unison to brand me.
When I knew I’d be soaking my panties all day, I decided to wear a dark sage skirt, with an off-the-shoulder thick sweater and some chunky black Versace heels. My hair was pulled artfully at the top of my head and paired with long earrings that I only felt comfortable wearing when my hair was up. His own matching mark was barely visible over the edge of his shirt collar. The three-piece suit was lavender, and the color contrast between us was my favorite yet.
Much to my chagrin, I still wanted to climb over the table and take him back down my throat until I had him at my mercy. This man was an expert at throwing me off kilter. I found myself chewing harder than necessary and took a breath to find something to channel my sexual frustration.
When I finally got the upper hand, he’d beg me . Smiling into my water, I crossed one of my thighs under the other. We’d only gone down to the café in the lobby. Since it was barely twenty past twelve, the entire place was packed. It was a miracle that there was a space at the window for us to sit together.
It was hard to believe that I, the woman with all the thorough plans, was flying through life blind. As much as I thrived on the routine, I was finding something different with him. We were officially living together, and it felt like my life had been razed and something new had already broken free from the rubble.
He typed for a few seconds before putting away his phone.
“That intern—”
“Bree.”
“Bree. She’s smart as shit. I like her,” he said, leaning closeand crowding me.
His cologne invaded my senses and I unconsciously moved against the seat to stir the vibrator, needing some friction to go with that hungry need to come that had been flowing through me a few minutes before.
“I’m going to pair her with Jacinda,” I said, breathing his scent deep and savoring the way the musky amber cloud floated around me.
“You’re rematching her?” he leaned closer and I almost forgot to breathe. His sleeve brushed my hyper-sensitive skin, and I took in a shuddering breath.
I tried to focus on the conversation and not the way lust was turning me into a woman that wanted to be feasted on, damn the audience. I took a beat, trying to slow down my hormones.
“She needs more.” Pausing, I cleared my throat, “Matching her with someone she can relate to will help her dream big.”
Realization lit his face. We weren’t in our offices, and I couldn’t say the thing that I really wanted to say: Bree needed to see that black people could survive and thrive in this environment. She couldn’t learn that with a mentor who wasn’t talking about these subjects openly.
“Match her with you,” he was so close to me that I could feel the warmth of his breath caressing my ear. I did a double take, and he gave me a displeased look. “What?” he asked.
“I’m not a mentor,” I stuttered.
“Only because you haven’t applied. Not because you don’t have the skillset.”
Once his words penetrated the sex-fueled fog in my head, I turned to face him and saw that he was being serious.
“I’m not even exp—”
“Now I know you ain’t going to tell me that your experience isn’t good enough,” he said, taking a sip of water.
“It’s more than that,” I replied, affronted.
“Alright, tell me,” he said. I sat there for a second and tried to think of all the reasons I’d be a terrible mentor. “It’s okay. I’ll give you some time to overthink it and make excuses,” he said, laughing and licking a dollop of mustard from his thumb.
I went to elbow him again and he caught me around my waist, pinning my elbow between us as he pulled me and my seat flush against him.
“Hugh,” I said as low as I could, feeling the flutters in my stomach rioting and trying to break free from my body.
“You have me.” He looked into me, through me. “Even when you’re trying to drive me crazy.” His tone was husky, and the whisper of his breath against my cheek made my skin break into goosebumps. “You know that.”
The words I’d been trying to put to the back of my mind were right there on my tongue. I needed to say them; to tell him how I felt. As irrational as this all felt, I couldn’t deny that that was the reality that I was existing in. How could I admit that he made me want to challenge myself? Was I just supposed to tell him that he’d become my calm, safe place in this sea of chaos?
I couldn’t say the words. Instead, I did something that I’d been wanting to do for hours. I leaned up and slowly brushed my lips against his.
He gasped, and so did I.
Every time I kissed him it felt like something new. Like a piece was falling slowly into place and fitting right into my soul. And this time, it felt like I’d been hit with a current of electricity and it hovered between us as a reminder of the shift that we’d just committed to in front of hundreds of people.
I pulled back and stared up at him, my mouth hanging open. We hadn’t even talked about this. The squishy part of being together and working… I shouldn’t have. The rumor mill was already ablaze and now—Oh shit, what did I do?
His fingers traced the hickey he’d left. I’m not sure what he saw on my face: the panic, the realization, the fear. Instead of saying anything, he smiled and dipped his face back to mine, giving me a firm and sweet kiss that left my lips tingling and my heart beating wild.
“They know I belong to you, now, too,” he whispered, pulling at his collar to better expose the mark I’d left on his skin this morning.