17. Declan
17
DECLAN
Hours Before…
Her face changed one second after Winter said that bullshit, and I knew I’d lost her. She probably thought I’d been lying to her about my relationship with Winter, but I wasn’t. The only thing saved me from embarrassing all of us was my son and my parents.
Moving to Texas.
She could be mad at me all she wanted, but she was going to be doing that right from this town. My head automatically followed her until her and her friend were out of sight. I wasn’t mad that she’d said she was moving to Texas with her ex, because I knew that was a lie as soon as it left her pretty ass lips, however, I knew her, she’d go through the motions just to piss me off, and that’s what had my chest tightening. Elle dropped a big bomb at the table and left the tension building into my chest.
Dymon nudged my knee, and I looked at him. “You straight?” He mumbled low enough for me to hear him.
I nodded and followed his eyesight to me pressing the palm of my hand into the table, prompting me to curl my hand into a fist. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. My eyes darted to my mom who was looking at me with a worried a look on her face.
“Yo, D. Me and Quinci going to need your help tonight? You want to come—”
“Yes! I always want to stay at your house, Uncle Dymon.”
I only had two seconds to smile at my son before Winter’s head snapped toward me.
“I’m ready to go home.”
I stared at her, wishing that I could hide that I was pissed off at her. She challenged me back with her own stare. If I opened my mouth at her, she wouldn’t recognize me, and my parents would be very disappointed in me. I still couldn’t believe that she’d let that come out of her mouth. We’d hardly talked, since I been back in Citrus Grove, let alone about marriage and a pregnancy. We didn’t sleep in the same bed, and I’d been coming home from work as late as possible just so I could see her as less as possible. Pregnant. I looked at her stomach. In that tight ass dress and didn’t see any sign of a pregnancy.
“Son.”
“Yeah, Dad,” I answered, pulling my eyes away from her to him. “Take your woman home.”
I stood just as Greysen came back to the table, crying, and telling Diesel that she was ready to go home. I whipped my head toward Winter, squinting.
“Goodnight son.” I bent over and kissed the top of his head. “See you tomorrow. I love you.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
“Mother. Love you.” I kissed the top her head and squeezed my dad’s shoulder. “Dad.”
I walked ahead of Winter out of the building and toward the car just in time to see Elle’s truck speeding out of the parking lot. I popped the locks on the car and got in, and immediately latched onto the steering wheel trying to catch my breath. Winter was taking her time getting to the car because she knew I was pissed. I started the car when she opened the door and got in.
“Declan, you—”
“Please be quiet,” I muttered.
I backed out of the space and pulled out of the parking lot.
“I don’t—”
“Shut the fuck up!” I roared.
She gasped.
“I don’t want to hear shit from you! Not even you breathing!”
“Okay! Just drive!”
I pulled into the street and sped home. When I turned in the yard, I stared at the garage door as it went up, before getting out of the car and slamming the door so hard the window rattled. I walked in the house and straight to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.
“Declan, look, we have to talk.”
I grabbed onto the counter, annoyed that she was still trying to talk to me. I took a deep breath.
“You had me,” I said.
“What?”
“You had me. You’d won. Elle was done with me, but you had to fucking stick the knife in her and turn it.”
“If I won, I couldn’t tell tonight. You pulling her in corners, singing to her like you’re a fucking lovesick ass puppy. I’ve had to deal with you walking around here all week like you lost your best friend and then you to try and treat this bitch like she more than me, in my fucking face. How dare you? Sitting in my face talking about I won? Won what?"
I whipped my head toward her. “You been fucking with that girl all fucking evening, and when you saw that you weren’t getting to her, you had to come up with a lie. I’m never marrying you, and if you are pregnant, congratulations, but it ain’t mine.”
She tilted her head. “Not yours?”
“Not mine.”
“Not yours, Declan?”
“Not. Mine, Winter. You wish I was about to sit here and go back and forth with you all night.”
I walked out the other entrance to the kitchen and she scurried after me.
“You finally got some pussy from one raggedy ass bitch that made you feel good about yourself and now you feel like you can pop big shit at me, nigga? Are you serious? You must really feel like your daddy, right now, don’t you?”
I turned and looked at her.
“Yeaahh,” She taunted. “That’s what you needed to finally get the acceptance you been begging for from your daddy, huh? Yeah, you feel like the man now, don’t you?”
I knew what she was trying to do.
“No. Because I don’t want both of y’all. I just want her. Yeaahh. Hurt, don’t it? I didn’t ask for any of this. All of this is your fault. At this point, I don’t care who you tell what about me or my family. I’m done with you. I took your threat to heart—”
“Only because she dumped you first! You would have tried to keep fucking her!”
“Whatever it was! I was back here! Didn’t even fucking mention the eight hundred grand you stole from me! Yeaahh. I know all about that account, Sweetheart. Bought my parents a car, my fucking ass. After all that, I was going to try and give my family another try… and I did, and you still had to fuck with her.”
“You only mad because you know she’ll never fuck with you again after this. That’s why you really mad.”
I waved her off.
“Because regardless of what I said, you were going to keep fucking with her, as long as she believed that you were leaving me, but now that she know—”
“Winter! Do you hear yourself, right now! You were so busy trying to compete with Elle for no fucking reason, you forgot that we were there for Greysen! You had no right to announce that, especially since you lying, and then our son! You sat up there and lied to our son! You know how bad he wants a sibling. I will not be tasked with telling him the truth.”
Not waiting for a response, I continued in the bedroom, and into my closet. She came and stood in the doorway, watching me get undressed. Water filled her eyes, but I knew it was more out of rage than hurt, because everything she’d used that would normally make me mad was not sticking.
“It is my hope that you’ll apologize to Greysen for being so insensitive during her moment.”
“Excuse me! It was her friend who blurted out she was moving! I didn’t make her do that!”
“You still don’t get it. I’m not talking about Elle. I am talking about you. You made that announcement, not Elle. I don’t have any more conversation for you tonight, Winter.”
I pulled on my sweats and a t-shirt and walked by her out of the closet. I grabbed my phone and slipped it in my pocket.
“Where are you going?”
I ignored her and walked out of the room. I walked out the back door and walked across the yard to Diesel’s house. He hadn’t made it home yet, so I went on his back porch and sat on the swing to wait on him. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and stared at the fake texting app I’d desperately downloaded a few days ago, when I was about to lose my mind. I’d been trying to respect her wishes and stay away from her, but it was hard. A week without her and I felt so damn empty without her. Winter was right about that one thing. I was home, but at what cost? I was miserable as fuck. Instead of texting her, I laid on the swing.
Later That Night…
A bump against my foot woke me up. Diesel was leaning over the table setting a plate down, and a short glass of brown liquor. I blinked again, realizing that I was still on his back porch and was covered by a blanket.
“Get up nigga.”
I sat up stretching. “Damn, what time is it?”
“Late.”
“You covered me up?”
“Yeah. When I came home, you were laid out like you needed that sleep. I got you some food, and something to drink.”
“Thanks, bro.”
The food smelled just as good as it did at dinner. He pulled his baby monitors out of his pocket and set them on the table.
“Baby duty got you up?”
“Hell nah. That fucking wife of mine call herself sneaking out of my damn house.”
My eyes widened. “What? You got her location?”
He chuckled, before pulling his phone out of his pocket and setting it on the table.
“I can do you one better.”
He tapped the screen a couple times.
“I’m deep in love that man, Grey.”
I dropped my fork. “That’s Elle.”
I leaned in and stopped chewing so I could make sure that I wasn’t hearing things.
“I can hear it in your voice. I’ve never heard you sound like this before.”
“Ugh. So gross of me, right?” Elle said, laughing. “I need a relight.”
I looked at him.
“What is this? Where they at?”
“A lil’ some some I installed on Ms. Greysen’s phone when we were in New York.”
“She knows?”
He raised his eyebrow in response. “I don’t spy on her, however, when she calls herself sneaking out of my house, I feel like I am allowed to get in her business.”
“Oh, I guess I can see that.”
“What you mean you guess you can see that?”
“You don’t think she would cheat on you, do you?”
“You’re asking me if the reason I have this is because I’m insecure?”
“I mean…” I shrugged.
He sighed. “I’m not insecure. I do wonder if sometimes life will get too busy and I’m to bullheaded to see. You know how some years will be harder and busier than the others, like if and when that baby brother of ours want to open a new hotel or resort. Do I trust Greysen to talk to me? Sure. When she’s ready to explode. So, I feel that if I can intercept some misconceptions, I will do what I need to do, meaning if I have to listen for a couple of minutes once a quarter when she’s having girl time, I will do that. At my old age, I do realize I have a smart, fine ass… very young woman, who will, in a single heartbeat, give me my black card back if I ever fucked up.”
“Long fucking way to say yes, I’m insecure. Fuck out of here, Professor X.”
He chortled, throwing his hands up. “You got me. Hell yeah, I am, but nah, I really hadn’t used this shit in ages. I trust her, but I stay on my toes. You trying to roll up?”
“When am I not?”
He reached below the table and opened his box.
“That damn—” He stopped when Grey started talking.
“Okay, Elle, we high as fuck now, and we don’ talked about every damn thing, but that one thing.”
“Of course, she been in my shit,” Diesel said, shaking his head.
“Girl, what one thing?”
“You don’t think I want to know about the dick that’s been having my best friend act like she doesn’t know me?”
I laughed at how dramatically Elle sighed.
“Oh my God, Grey. What you want me to say? How all my holes belong to him? How he fucks me from wall to wall? How he’s the perfect sadist that turns me into whatever type of slut he needs me to be at the moment?”
“Whoaa, now,” Diesel teased.
I shook my head, smirking. Listening in on their conversation felt so invasive, but I couldn’t lie, it felt good knowing that she was really feeling me.
Greysen inhaled sharply. “Not my sweet, sweet, brother-in-law, Declan.”
“Your sweet, sweet, brother-in-law. Ain’t nothing sweet, sweet, about that man, and that’s just when he’s not on his knees for me.”
“Hold on, Bitch!”
Diesel cut his eyes to me, shaking his head, laughing. “I don’t even wanna know, freaky ass nigga.”
“Girl, don’t wake my nosy ass neighbors up. But that’s why I have to move. I’m so weak, and it’s only been a week without him. I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s ruining what little sanity I have left.”
“Stop saying you’re moving. You really think they’re getting married?”
“Who would be that diabolical to lie about something like that in front of everyone unprovoked? Like I did not get under her skin that damn bad by ignoring her.”
“Damn, yeah, you right.”
Diesel looked at me with his eyebrow raised.
“I’m not marrying that damn girl, nor is she pregnant. Well, I told her that if she was pregnant, it wasn’t mine.”
“Damn, I’m really sorry, bro. I mean, I never thought y’all would end up like this.”
“Yeah, it’s all good.”
I picked up my glass and drunk some of it down.
“You and fucking Declan Danger. How the hell am I supposed to will you my husband now?”
“What the hell that mean? Will like leaving him a will?”
Greysen laughed. “Yeah. I wouldn’t want him with any other woman.”
“Wait. You think I’m going to die old and decrepit like my dad think?”
“No, girl. I wouldn’t care if you were married. I would still leave him to you.”
They both laughed.
“No matter how many videos and letters with notary stamps you leave behind, no one is going to believe that my friend said I could have her husband should she die. What would I do with him?”
“Feed him and fuck him. Keep him alive.”
“That is so fucking funny, Greysen. You saying that now. Your spirit looks down and see your husband jumping up and down on me, you’ll use your one strike from God and smite us.”
“I’m serious.” There was a long pause. “Let’s open the secret vault.”
Elle gasped. “Ooh. Oh God. If I think you’re about to say…”
“What?”
“You say it. I don’t want to say what I’m thinking and then I be wrong, and then…”
“Okay, so you remember when Dymon got that big floaty playhouse in the middle of the ocean for Donovan’s birthday. You and Diesel were racing toward the little climb thing, and he knocked you off the thing into the water. When he picked you up by your lifejacket out of the water, I felt something.”
“Oh my God. Was it the swimsuit? I asked you if it was too much for the party and you said no.”
“No, whore. Something, something. Like… some…thing.”
“Oh. Ohh. Ohhh, Greysen, you naughty, naughty, girl. You didn’t?”
“It was quick and very, very confusing. Thought it was just a one-time hormonal type thing because I was pregnant, but then I dreamed about it, and I didn’t get… mad. I enjoyed it. So, I woke my husband up out of his sleep and asked him if I could choose the girl would he have sex with them in front of me. He said, ‘not tonight, Ms. Greysen’ and turned back over and went to sleep.”
Elle laughed so hard. “He doesn’t pay you no mind.”
I laughed. “I love when her cute little country accent come out.”
“Can I ask you? Before we close the vault. Would you have sex with my husband, if we both agreed to it? And if you weren’t with Declan.”
We looked at the phone, waiting for the answer as if they both could see us.
“I am not with Declan, however, I don’t know, because sometimes, people think they want things, and then realize that some things were better off being left as fantasies. Greysen I would never, ever want to ruin our friendship that way.”
“I understand. I just wouldn’t trust any other woman with him. That’s all.”
“Really? And you really think you wouldn’t feel anything, watching your husband have sex with me? I just feel like… if you don’t like it, and realize you’re not okay with it, it would be easier for it to be a random… not random like that, but… you know, rather it being me, and now you have to look at me every day, wondering, whatever you’d wonder.”
“See, that’s the thing, Elle. I wouldn’t have to wonder anything. If it happened, and I didn’t like it, I trust that you’d never, ever betray me. If it was a random, per say, and I didn’t like it, I would be wondering if my husband is sneaking off and calling her. Or her violating an NDA talking about it.”
“Wow. Now, when you put it like that? Tell me more. Like is this a one-time thing, or is this subscription based? Whenever you don’t feel like sucking him up, you call me? Or are we turning him out? You know I would love to flip that big—"
“Elle!” Greysen started laughing until she started coughing.
“What, is the vault not opened anymore?”
Greysen kept coughing and laughing.
“See, let me get you some water. And that’s why I told your man’s twin that I was going to make it my personal duty to get that dispensary shut down.”
“Go!”
I laughed so hard I almost choked like Greysen. “And she be wondering why I love her crazy ass. She don’t care what she let fly out of her mouth.”
“Bro, I hope you know that I would never do nothing like that.”
“I wouldn’t care.” I took a sip of my drink, ignoring him staring upside my head.
“You just talking.”
I shook my head. “I think it would be weird to watch my twin fuck my girl, but I wouldn’t care. I’m not joking.”
“Wait… wait, wait.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I’m scared to ask.”
“Don’t be. I’ve watched her before.”
“Yeah, but you said that she…” He scratched his head again. “I don’t know what to ask. So, are you not really serious about her or something? I still wouldn’t fuck her or anything, but I guess I want to know now."
“Diesel. I love Elle. I don’t mind watching her fuck other people. She’s done it for me before and I fell deeper in love with her. We switch roles from time to time, but I think she loves being submissive for me and dominant to other people. If I knew she’d say yes, I’d ask her to marry me tomorrow. Any more questions?”
His lips curved into a smirk. “Your freaky ass is alright with me.”
I heard the door close. “Here. Well, well, well. The church going people used to be like ‘now why is that Greysen hanging with that jezebel Della. Now, they don’t even know Mrs. Grey D wants to see her husband slut her best friend out.”
“He wouldn’t have to slut you out Elle. You’re not a toy. It’s just that… honestly, over the years, he’s made me feel so safe, and beautiful, and confident, so much so that I want to experience so many different things with him, and that was one of them. Seeing him do a scene with another woman. I want to know what he was like with other women.”
“That wack job before you? What if he does something and make me crazy like that?”
“Bitch!”
“Kidding, but I feel that though. It’s something about Declan that just makes me want to do whatever he says, but I have to be strong. For one small, like, one third of a second, I was contemplating if I could be in a poly relationship with him… and her, but she doesn’t deserve him.”
Greysen gasped.
“And like one fourth of a second if I could be his mistress.”
“Della Mae Thomas.”
“Grey, I know. I’m a stupid bitch. I’m down so bad, so so so bad. I see how women fall in love with men they ain’t supposed to. That… man can go from kissing me on my neck, telling me how pretty I am, and how good I was for him, to him bending me over his knees, and spanking me… just as I am getting out of the shower, telling me how pathetic I am because I couldn’t take it. Yeah, close your mouth. Sweet, sweet my ass.”
“Oh my god, you shuddered. It’s that bad!”
“It’s worse, actually. And that’s why I have to move. I have to get away from him. I am one more ‘Ella, please. Can we talk?’ away from being on my knees.”
“Stop saying you are going to move. I’m not going to let you do that. When have you ever ran from a nigga, please, Elle.”
When she scoffed, I laughed.
“So, let’s do this, in five years… we revisit this, only if Declan and I are…whatever. I would watch you suffocate him with all that ass. Yeah, look at your face again, not so sweet anymore.”
“Hmm… and how do we approach them? Do we use their money to rent out half a resort, get them drunk, and—”
“Grey, I am going to stop you before you say something crazy because on what planet would you and I get them drunk before we get pissy drunk, if you and I are also drinking.”
“You’re right. I was getting too excited.”
A short pause went by.
“Wait. Don’t cry, Elle. We’re just having fun.”
“I’m trying not to. This was like one of the reasons why it was hard to tell you. All the plans, I knew we’d make with them, and then... ugh, yeah.”
“Did you leave the table because you didn’t want to cry?”
“Yeah, and I had to… throw up.”
“Oh! Let me see your phone.”
“Why? Declan is blocked.”
“No, I want to see something else.”
“See what?”
“Why are you giving me the third degree about your phone when I’ve helped you with a hair bump in between your—”
“Greysen, I am not pregnant, and if I am…”
When the phone cut off, I grabbed it and started tapping on it.
“What happened? Go back to it,” I urged him.
He shook his head. “I can’t. That was it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Dymon created the software, and put the restrictions in it, so I wouldn’t become obsessed with this. I get thirty more minutes in a few months.”
I stared at him.
“If you want to override the software that bad, then call your baby brother. What do you want to know?”
“What do you mean? She could be pregnant, and I want to know.”
I called Dymon on my phone and put it on speaker.
“Yeah,” He answered, sleepily.
“This is going to sound crazy but there is a software you created for Diesel for his wife’s phone and we—”
“Ain’t no we,” Diesel cut me off.
It sounded like he shifted in the bed.
“Wait, where y’all at without me?”
“Where they about to stay without you. Lay back down.” Quinci said in the background, making us laugh.
“The password, bro.”
“To what, oh? Why you need that?”
“Because I do.”
“That’s not good enough for me. Diesel said I’m not to give him more time, no matter how much he begged. So, goodnight, and yeah, Mom wants to see us in the morning, sunrise.”
I looked at the time. “Sunrise? That’s in a few hours.”
“I forgot to send a text when she told me. My bad. See y’all later,” he said, and hung up the phone.
I sighed. “Fuck, I hate that smart bastard.”
Diesel chuckled. “Look, you can’t be mad about this, because you not supposed to know about this. Understand?”
I nodded.
“Declan.”
“Yeah, I understand, damn.”
My nephew’s cries came through the monitor.
“Look, I got to go get him. Try to get some rest and I’m going to try and forget that I learned way too much about you tonight. Night, Bro.”
I laughed. “Night, Bro.”
Getting some sleep would be slim to none after listening to that conversation.
A Few Hours Later…
Me and my siblings were looking around at each other while our mom stood at the banister, staring out at the scenery. Just like she wanted, we were all sitting on the balcony just as the sun started to rise. There wasn’t any tension in the air, but the silence spoke volumes.
“One beauty of this town is that every morning, the sunrise is beautiful. I sit out here and listen to the birds singing and inhale the strong smells of the citrus scents. It’s when I’m at my calmest,” she finally spoke.
We looked around at each other before looking back at her just as she’d turned around and walked to her seat. We all pulled up around the same time, so we asked each other what it could be about, but no one knew. My dad walked out on the balcony and handed her a mug of tea and sat next to Metri.
“I suppose after my next sip of tea, one of my children will be ready to tell me what the hell is going on around here.”
We all looked around at each other and then back at her as she pulled the mug away from her lips and set it on the table next to her.
“What are you talking about, Mom?” Metri asked.
“I would like to know why I was so rudely informed about my child, that was ripped out of me, causing me to have to get multiple stitches, that took blood, sweat, and tears to raise is being called a hooligan.”
“Mom.” I called her.
“Do I look like I raised a hooligan to you?”
She looked at me. “And this behavior coming from you, Declan. I really couldn’t believe it.”
“Told y’all, if your mama was here—”
“And you hush, Duncan, because our last child is barely over thirty and I still can’t leave them alone with you, without something going on.”
“Why are you snapping at me? I wasn’t there.”
I saw Dymon in the corner of my eye doing some stupid move with his shoulders making Denim and Diesel laugh, prompting our parents to look at him.
He raised his hands. “I’m just happy it’s not me this time. The smiting of the prodigal son is well overdue.”
I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.
“Hey!” My parents snapped at the same time. “Look at you, still acting like a hooligan,” My mom continued.
“And a mom cosign. This really might be the day that the Lord has made.”
“Dymon, you’re excused,” Mom said.
“Sorry, Mom.”
She stared at Dymon for a moment before she looked back at me. “Declan, what were you thinking, choking that young man like that.”
“He was being disrespectful, and I was tired of listening to it. That’s it.”
I’d been here for years and still couldn’t believe how fast word spread through this town. Kemba told me that he talked to him, and he wasn’t saying nothing about trying to sue me, but I wouldn’t be surprised, nor would I care if he changed his mind.
“So, you respond to disrespect by choking a man until he was nearly lifeless.”
I didn’t respond.
“And then none of you thought to tell me about this and let me be ambushed last night. Do you know how embarrassed I was? Walking up on a group of ladies discussing my child as if he was an animal. If it hadn’t been Greysen’s night, I would have gotten beside myself.”
“I don’t know what happened.”
“Yes, you do. Exactly what happened last night, with whatever you and Elle have going on, is the reason you choked him.”
I looked at my dad.
“Don’t look at him. He didn’t tell me. I am your mother. I know these things. I would like to speak to Declan alone, please. But don’t y’all go anywhere, I’m not done with you all.”
I watched my brothers and my sisters, and my dad file in the house and close the door. When my mom looked at me, I looked out at the trees, not wanting to see the look of disappointment on her face.
“Declan. What happened?”
My knees automatically started shaking and my chest started to tighten.
“Declan, it’s okay.”
I shook my head, trying to shake the tears away. She got out of her seat and came and sat next to me. When my tears dropped from my eyes, she wiped them away.
“Winter wanted different things, Mom, with other people and encouraged me to do the same. It’s not that I went seeking Elle. We just talked and realized that we had a lot of things in common and it just went from there. You have to believe that I would have never done Winter dirty like this.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“Somehow, Elle opened me up to a world I never thought I’d get to experience, and I realized that I will probably never get that from Winter, and…” I shook my head.
“And what?”
“And I think… no, I know that I am done with Winter.”
“Okay.” She said, with a nod.
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say.”
“What are you looking for me to say? Do you want me to disagree with you? Or tell you to fight for your relationship?”
“No. I just thought that you would have more to say.”
“No, son. I trust that you can make the best decisions for yourself, and as your mom and your biggest supporter, I will stand by you.”
“Thank you, Mom. I really appreciate that. I never saw a life without Winter, and I never wanted this, but—”
“Hey, don’t talk yourself into second-guessing your decision. The only question I have is have you talked to Winter… and Donovan. After the call I got last night, I think there needs to be one with a firm resolution when it’s all said and done.”
“What you mean?”
“She called me, sobbing, about how she messed up you guys’ relationship, telling me everything, even the most embarrassing parts. She wanted me to talk to you, believing that I could change your mind, but it seems that your mind is made up.”
“It is.”
“Then you owe her a less a heated conversation, so that everything is said in a calm, but firm manner.”
“You right. Every time we’ve talked about it, it’s gotten heated, and we end up yelling at each other. Is that how you found out about Elle?”
She looked taken aback, before she smiled.
“Oh, honey. Do you think I missed those looks you were giving her at our family dinners? Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t get dumb in my old age. I thought that maybe something inappropriate may have happened, but the way you were singing and looking at her, I knew it was much more than that.”
“I’m in love with her, Mama.”
She smiled. “You know, I was wondering why you’d been so different lately, and I have her to thank for this… new you.”
I smiled and nodded. “Even if Elle never forgives me, I’ve been completely transformed. But if she does, would you think Elle ruined our family dynamic?”
“Is that the reason you stopped speaking to your father for a few days? He told you that. I’ve been putting everything together since Winter and I spoke last night.”
I shrugged. “Something like that.”
“Well, I won’t think that she ruined our family dynamic. Things happen. I just want you to be sure and I want you to be happy. That’s my main priority. You and my grandson, however, I do think you owe her a real conversation, and your son. You guys have a lot to discuss. Is she staying here? Taking Donovan back to New York?”
“She’s never taking my son to New York.”
She blew a sigh of relief. “Thank God. I was worried for a moment. Are you okay though, son? This is a big change for you.”
“You don’t think I can handle it?”
“Yes, I know you can handle it. I’m just checking in with you, because you know you normally come and talk to me about things. I’m not used to be on the outside when it comes to you.”
“I know. I didn’t know if you would scold me or liken me to my dad. You were the last person I wanted to disappoint.”
“Oh, son. The only way you’d disappoint me is you living a life that you’re not happy in. It doesn’t matter how long it takes to find happiness, as long as you find it. I know you’re probably going to hate to hear this, but you are more like your dad than you think you are.”
I shook my head, smirking, because Elle said the same thing, and didn’t mean it to be derogatory as Winter did when she said it.
“I know that you witnessed a lot of things going on between your father and I, but when I go to sleep, I thank God I met Duncan because he gave me five of the greatest gifts, I could have ever asked for. Would I change that? No. Do I wish you guys had a different father, absolutely not. Deep down, your father is a great man, with many, many faults, as with any person, but don’t live your life trying not to be like him, you may miss out on a lot. Do you understand?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Good. Now, follow me in here, so I can finish laying all of you all out,” she said, and stood up. “Talking about I raised a hooligan. I wanted to show that woman a hooligan.”
“Show out then, Mama,” I said, laughing.
I stood and followed her in the house, happy I had her approval, but wondering what my son would think, because his approval mattered just as much as my mom’s did.