Chapter 14
14
T wo days later, I stood in Rome’s Galleria Borghese in front of the sculpture I’d told Kevin King about, my every move echoing through the empty gallery. I didn’t bother questioning how he’d gotten us private access, without so much as a security guard present, because I knew the answer was money.
Bernini’s works of marble were stunning in the soft evening light that let the shadows heighten the drama of each piece. They highlighted the harsh determination on Hades’s face as he claimed Persephone as his prize and cast an even more desperate feel to the tears that ran from her cheeks. It was beautiful and frightening and maddening all at once.
Much like Reaper…
No. I absolutely refused to waste another thought on that devious bastard. He’d manipulated my feelings; he’d been plotting to humiliate me the entire time. My father may not have given me much of a say in matters, and Kevin was using me for his own political aims, but they’d both always been forthright about it. If an alliance with King would strengthen Daddy’s position and potentially protect all of us from Reaper, then I’d do whatever it took to make it happen. He’d said my debt was discharged, but if he continued trying to blackmail me, I’d have to figure it out.
Kevin’s arms slid around my waist from behind, and I let him pull me gently against his body. I was so unused to affection that it felt strange to let someone hold me whenever they wanted, but it wasn’t unpleasant. I was nervous but tried not to let him feel how stiff I was.
“All this art, and it’s you I can’t take my eyes off,” he murmured against my neck.
I squirmed uncomfortably at the praise, and he smiled like my shyness pleased him. He was acting besotted, but he was interested in me for political reasons, not personal ones. Or that was what I’d thought, but now I couldn’t tell. My judgment had been so off with Reaper that I was still reeling.
Kevin pulled his arms back and turned me by the shoulders to face him. “I was planning to wait until the end of the week for this, but my mind is already made up, and this feels like the moment.” He lowered himself onto one knee and presented me with a diamond ring so massive, I could only stare at it in shock. “Marry me.”
If you go on this date, that ’ s it. The rest of your life is decided.
I imagined Reaper’s sneer if he could see Kevin so predictably down on one knee. Then I wiped him from my mind again and defiantly said, “Yes.”
Kevin slid the massive rock onto my finger and stood to kiss me, sealing a perfectly romantic moment that still felt somehow forced.
“I overlooked you when I thought you were too timid, but then you showed me a spark of that Bryson ruthlessness, and it triggered my hunter’s instincts.” He backed me into the base of the sculpture, and I waited for someone to come and tell us we couldn’t make out against the priceless work of art, but the silence mocked me for thinking the rules applied to Kevin King. “You’re exactly the partner I need, Juliet.”
It was a word I’d dreamed of far more than wife . Partner . A word I hadn’t quite dared to hope for.
I wanted a man who saw me as his equal, who valued my opinions and not just my ability to decorate his arm. Kevin hadn’t wanted me when he thought I was just a pretty object. He’d only taken an interest once I showed some initiative. He was assertive, and I was learning that he’d make most of the decisions when we were out together, but he’d brought me to this gallery purely because I’d mentioned it. Even if the chemistry wasn’t there between us, that could come with time.
He twisted the engagement ring back and forth on my finger. “You’re already wearing my ring. You belong to me. Are you really going to make me wait until the wedding to be with you?”
I looked down to hide my startled expression. Daddy would expect me to deny Kevin to be sure he couldn’t go back on his word. It would be far smarter to make him wait, but maybe this was the best way to move forward and wipe what had happened with Reaper from my mind. I wouldn’t still be thinking about him if I were fantasizing about Kevin.
I pulled his head down for another kiss, and against his mouth, I said, “Make me yours, Mr. King.”
I felt his smile. Then I let out a tiny squeal when he lifted me so I was perched on the edge of the statue base. He pressed his lips to mine as he tugged my panties off and unzipped his pants.
The minutes that followed were…fine.
My shoulder was grinding against the Cerberus part of the sculpture awkwardly, and I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about the fact that I was touching something Bernini had touched while I was losing my virginity.
Kevin’s fingers dug into the flesh of my thigh, and I flicked my eyes up to where Hades’s hand did the same to Persephone, wondering for the thousandth time how Bernini could’ve made something carved of stone so lifelike.
There was a foreign stretching pressure but no real pain. It was exhilarating to feel Kevin slide into me and know I’d finally shed the brand of being a virgin. I felt a measure of satisfaction when he climaxed quickly because I’d managed to please him my first time.
Afterward, he helped me down, and I was unsteady on my feet, numb with overwhelm at what had just happened. Everything had a surreal quality as he led me to a bathroom. He didn’t seem to notice I was completely out of it, which was good. I didn’t want him to think I was anything but happy. Before he released my hand, he softly kissed my knuckles just above my engagement ring. “Don’t be long, Mrs. King.”
I went into the bathroom, and after I’d finished cleaning up, I stared at myself in the mirror. Besides being a little disheveled, I still looked exactly the same. My pink lipstick was smudged, so I went through the motions of wiping it and taming the curls Kevin had swept out of place with his hands in my hair.
As the adrenaline settled, a hollow feeling slowly sunk into the pit of my stomach.
That’s it?
After all the years of anticipation, it was…fine.
Demand your own pleasure first, princess.
I’d been engaged for less than an hour, and I was thinking of another man, remembering what he’d done with his mouth.
What he’d done with his mouth when he’d been about to ruin my life by deliberately letting Kevin and my father catch us.
Pleasure and shame had always been tangled for me because I’d been told sex was only for marriage, and now they were inextricably linked. Maybe it was better if my marriage was purely about Kevin’s pleasure. My own had only brought me trouble so far. As long as my fiancé was happy, it didn’t really matter.
I found him waiting for me outside the bathroom door, and we made our way slowly out of the gallery.
I wanted…something. A hug? Some kind of reassurance. Maybe just to be held while I made sense of it all.
But I couldn’t bring myself to ask him for it as he ushered me towards our waiting driver. Surely the other women he’d slept with didn’t need to be cuddled like an emotional child after sex.
His head of security, a muscular white guy named Eric who wore his clothes just a little too tight, opened the door to the SUV for us. He looked me over and smirked, like he knew exactly what we’d just done.
I tried to think about something concrete. “You mentioned staying all week,” I said carefully, stopping to clear my throat because I sounded so shaky. “Do you think we could cut that short by a few days? I need to be back for a work thing by Tuesday.”
He beamed at me like I’d made a hilarious joke. “You don’t need to stress about working anymore, babe.”
My heart pounded faster. “It’s really not a stress. I love my job.”
His smile fell. “I’m not interested in competing for my wife’s time.”
The hollow feeling in my stomach dropped into free fall. “You want me to quit my job?”
He tilted his head, looking annoyed now. “Is that a problem?”
I was in dangerous waters, and I needed to get out fast. I was a fool for not anticipating this, given that none of the women in my family had ever maintained their careers after marriage. I pasted a smile onto my face and shrugged. “Of course not. Whatever you think is best.”
Eric continued facing out the window like he’d done for the whole drive, but he met my eyes in the rearview mirror and smirked again. He was weirdly unnerving.
The driver took us back to the monstrosity of a villa where we were staying on the outskirts of Rome, and I sat in silence as Kevin took care of some work calls along the way. He was a busy man, so I couldn’t be mad at him for using the time productively. It just felt like I was an afterthought now that our business was concluded.
When we got to the house, I sat out on one of the patios while Kevin went inside to finish his calls. It was fully dark by then, but I didn’t bother turning a light on. The darkness felt soothing, like I was just part of it and no one could see me if I just sat still.
I sipped a glass of wine, trying to stop my mind from spiraling. I was marrying Kevin King. There was no backing out now, and my only option was to make the best of it.
I had sex with Kevin King.
I’m not a virgin anymore. What if he changes his mind before the wedding?
The wine wasn’t working. Going in search of a stronger drink would mean leaving the comforting safety of the darkness, where I didn’t have to worry about whether I was wearing the correct facial expression.
Kevin had left his cigar box on the table, but cigars made me feel sick. Out on the driveway, I could just make out the glow of a cigarette and the outline of our driver standing against the car, smoking.
When in Rome…
I walked over to him, desperately craving that steadying hit of nicotine. I wanted it so badly, I was ready to beg.
In broken Italian, I managed to explain what I needed, and the kind gentleman delightedly handed me a cigarette from his pack and held up the lighter for me to light it. I was so grateful, I could’ve wept at his feet, but I gave him a nod of thanks and wandered back over to the patio.
It was the first time I’d smoked since the boathouse. Had it only been a few days since then? Maybe I felt so vulnerable because I was strung out from the emotional roller coaster I’d been on for days.
I set my cigarette on the ashtray to take a quick picture of my engagement ring and send it to my father. He immediately texted me back.
Daddy
Proud of you.
I wasn’t ready to unpack finally hearing those words from him now.
I took another drag of the cigarette and sent the picture to the group chat with my sisters.
Jacque
OMG you’re getting MARRRIED!!!
Sophia
Show off.
Sophia
Seriously, tho. Congrats. Quite the catch.
I was still typing a response back when someone smacked my hand so violently that the cigarette and my phone went flying onto the gravel. I lurched from the chair, reaching for a gun I wasn’t carrying because Kevin had said it wasn’t necessary with his security.
But it was only Kevin himself standing there with a sneer on his face.
He aggressively pointed a finger at me. “Don’t you ever let me catch you smoking again.”
I shrunk in on myself, ashamed I’d upset him so quickly. Smoking was a stupid thing to do, and I knew better.
“I’m so sorry. I won’t ever do it again.” I hoped he could hear the sincerity in my voice.
He picked up his cigars and stormed off without another word. Movement at the patio door caught my eye, and I turned to find Eric standing there staring at me again. From the way he smiled, I had the feeling he’d been the one to tell Kevin I was smoking. He disappeared back into the house.
I sat back down and shivered for what could’ve been hours but was probably only minutes. I was so alone and so raw. I couldn’t talk to my sisters. They’d only worry, and there was nothing they could do to help.
If Kevin didn’t want someone timid, why did he make me feel scared to be anything but timid with him?
I thought back to my angry phone call with Reaper, how no matter what he’d said, it had only made me madder. In a twisted way, he made me feel safe to be angry or defiant. I wanted to feel like that version of myself and not this new version who was even more terrified than usual to put a toe out of line.
In a moment of frustrated angst, I unlocked my phone and sent a text to Reaper.
Not a virgin anymore.
As soon as I’d sent it, I wanted to smack myself. Why would I willingly give him that information?
What did it even matter when he already had enough to ruin me multiple times over?
Reaper
Are you okay?
I swiped a hand over my face as the darkness spun a little. I couldn’t handle kindness from him, not when I knew he always had an ulterior motive and not when there was nothing he could do to help even if we struck a bargain. I didn’t need him to be gentle. I needed him to fight with me, to remind me that I was stronger than this.
Why would you ask that?
Reaper
Because you’re texting me about it?
Shit.
Maybe I wanted to gloat.
He sent back a short video of him winking, then panning to where a blindfolded man’s lips were wrapped around Reaper’s cock.
It was jarring and shocking and irrationally erotic…as all things about him were. I’d once looked up the term pansexual online after I heard someone say it at a party, and it only truly made sense once I’d met Reaper. He defied labels and boxes, and I was pretty sure he also confused the labels and boxes most people thought they belonged in.
wtf??
Reaper
Sorry, I thought we were gloating about being with other people. Did I do it wrong?
I turned the light on my phone and took a short video winking, then panning to my engagement ring.
Ellipses appeared, then disappeared.
They appeared again, then disappeared.
I held my breath when he started to type a third time.
Reaper
Delete this conversation and my number. Wouldn’t want your fiancé to find out about our arrangement.
What arrangement?
Having Kevin King’s wife wrapped around my finger is the stuff of wet dreams.
He’d said my debt was discharged, but he must’ve been planning to use the leverage he had over me to his advantage.
Reaper
I’ll be in touch.