Chapter 25
Jason
That first day that Jason had seen a glimpse of Isabelle had royally wrecked him. It had made the foundation of his soul quake. He’d nearly dropped everything to close the distance between them and pull her into his arms.
The memory of that moment still hurt more than he was willing to admit. If the half-moon indents from his fingernails into his palms were any indication of his self-control, he didn’t know what was.
It had been a couple of weeks since that day.
He’d caught glimpses of Isabelle coming and going from her home, but she’d stopped coming around the kitchen where he worked.
She also appeared to prefer avoiding him when he was working with the other wranglers, not that it was difficult since she knew his schedule.
She was looking better, and that was the only thing that brought him a degree of peace.
Every single day without her was torture. He hadn’t managed to get back onto a regular sleeping schedule, and the handful of times he’d ventured out of his room to see if he’d catch her going for a run produced no results.
Either Isabelle wasn’t going for early morning runs anymore, or she’d changed that part of her schedule, too.
Jason dove into his work to forget the fact that Isabelle hadn’t sought him out. He tried to bury the disappointment of that fact. She needed space. He couldn’t be her crutch. Isabelle needed to heal, to find herself, to love herself before she could accept his love.
At least that was what he continued to tell himself whenever he got the idea in his head to go looking for her.
“You okay?”
Jason tensed at Mark’s question. While he couldn’t deny that his friend had been right to point out a specific course of action, there was still tension between them. It was more on Jason’s side, and he couldn’t bring himself to let it go.
His strained relationship with his friend and the ache of seeing Isabelle moving on were enough to put him in a dismal headspace.
“Fine,” he said as he set to work chopping onions for the meatloaf that evening.
“Sure about that?”
“Yes,” he gritted out. “I’m good.”
Mark went quiet as he remained at his station. Nikki glanced at the two of them a couple times, but she didn’t speak either.
The hollow feeling in his chest continued to grow.
It wasn’t like this was his first failed relationship.
He’d been through his fair share over the years.
But this was the first relationship that Jason had ended in hopes that the individual involved would be better off for it.
His heart couldn’t reconcile losing Isabelle.
“I don’t know if I can keep working here,” he finally voiced his thoughts.
Mark’s chopping stalled. Nikki seemed to turn to stone. The air in the kitchen went as cold as the Arctic. “Why not?” Mark asked.
Jason put down the knife he was holding and glanced up at Mark.
He wasn’t about to blame Mark for any of this.
It wasn’t his fault. Not really. And attempting to find someone to blame would only put more strain on their friendship.
Jason was done having regrets when it came to the people he cared about.
Eventually he’d move past these heavy feelings, and they’d get back to a good place.
“Jason,” Mark said.
He gripped the edge of the countertop. “There isn’t some big reason.”
“Bull-pucky,” Nikki said, turning to face them.
Jason froze. All he could do was stare at her.
She put her hands on her hips and shook her head with what could only be described as disappointment. “You’re leaving because you’re hurt.”
Of course he was hurt. But it was so much more than that. This loss was excruciating because witnessing Isabelle improve without him meant Mark was right.
Jason had been enabling her.
He’d prevented her from getting better simply by being himself.
That could only mean one thing.
Their relationship was toxic.
It made him sick to his stomach. He’d wanted so much to be the man she needed in her life.
“You’re leaving because you’re scared.” Nikki’s words snapped him out of his reverie. “You’re scared, and the only thing you can think of is to run.”
“No,” Jason argued, but his voice sounded weak even to him. “You saw how bad she was getting. And you can’t tell me you haven’t seen an improvement. My being here… it wasn’t…”
Nikki sighed. She tossed Mark a pointed look, but she didn’t argue. They agreed with him. Their silence was more than telling.
“Honestly, I love the work I do here with you. I came to work at the ranch because it was a nice change, but I gravitate more to what I’m good at. Cooking.”
She nodded pensively. “I would have to agree with you on that.” Nikki wiped her hands on her apron. “You’re very good at what you do. I can tell being a chef is more of a calling for you than riding horses and herding cattle.”
Jason gave her a wan smile. “Well, I’ve enjoyed learning a new trade. Honestly, it’s been fun doing both.” He reached for his knife and turned it over in his hands. “But maybe it would be best if I got a fresh start.” He didn’t look up at her when he added, “For both of us.”
Nikki glanced at Mark with curiosity, and Jason shook his head.
“I mean for Isabelle.” He nodded to Mark. “He’s got a fiancée here. I don’t think he’ll be leaving here anytime soon.”
Mark’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t correct Jason’s statement. Did he know Jason’s true motives? Likely. Thankfully he didn’t make this conversation harder than it already was.
The kitchen went eerily silent. The taste of his confession soured the air. But at least he’d said it. There was no taking it back.
“Do you think Mateo will meet with me?”
Nikki gave him a strange look.
“So I can give my two weeks’ notice.”
Understanding dawned on her face. “Of course.” Several emotions flitted across her features. “But you don’t have to—”
“I do,” Jason said, glancing at Mark. “It’s really for the best.”
The distance Jason felt from Mark continued to grow the longer the day wore on. Unspoken words weighed him down. Their friendship was on the rocks. His relationship with Isabelle would likely never rekindle.
Yes, moving on would be for the best.
Jason stood before Mateo, his hands clasped behind his back.
He’d been in this office only once before when he’d been interviewed for the position.
It felt like he’d come full circle in a way.
He’d known this job wasn’t going to be forever.
It had been a way for him to take a reprieve from the stressors of his previous job.
It felt strange standing here and wishing he could stay.
Mateo leaned back in his chair and rubbed his jaw. “I have to say, this is coming out of left field.”
Jason shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “You can drop all pretenses, sir. We both know that you saw this coming.” Even if everything worked out between him and Isabelle, Jason would have decided to find a different local job. Mateo had to know that.
The man before him tilted his head. “So, this is about my sister.”
Jason’s jaw tightened hard enough that he wouldn’t have been surprised if he did some damage to his teeth.
He couldn’t bring himself to confirm his boss’s suspicions.
He didn’t want to appear weak. Or worse, guilty.
Surely, Mateo had noticed the issues his younger sister had been dealing with.
It had been a surprise that he hadn’t sought Jason out to discuss it.
But then, he was married to Nikki, and she might have vouched for him.
Jason lifted his chin and straightened his shoulders. “I don’t think my reasons matter. What does matter is that I feel it’s the right time to move on. Consider this my two-week notice.”
Mateo pressed his lips together into a thin line. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
Jason nodded. “It is, sir.”
His boss blew out a breath and ran a hand threw his hair. “Well, I can’t say I’m thrilled about this situation, but I can understand it. Of course, I’ll give you the highest recommendation wherever you go.”
Jason’s heart stalled. That wasn’t expected. “Sir?”
Mateo chuckled. “Just because you dated my sister and it didn’t work out, doesn’t mean I hold it against you.
Your work ethic has always been above and beyond.
And when you were dating Isabelle, I could see that you made her happy.
That, combined with the fact that she insisted your breakup was necessary… ”
Jason fought to hide his surprise over what she had said.
“Anyway.” Mateo waved a dismissive hand. “Let’s just say, we’ll miss you here.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Two weeks later, Jason tossed his large duffel into the back of his truck. Mark leaned against his own, his hands deep in his pockets. Based on the disgruntled look on his face, he didn’t agree with Jason’s decision.
Well, he would have to deal with it. He could even blame himself a little for what had happened. He’d been the one to set this train in motion.
Jason pushed the tailgate shut and faced his friend. It was time to move on from this place anyhow. He couldn’t stand to catch glimpses of the woman he had come to care for and yet feel as though he wasn’t allowed to be with her.
There was no telling if Isabelle was healing or if she was masking her pain like she had so many years ago.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” Mark said, pushing away from his truck. “You don’t have to go. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I do,” Jason replied. “And you know why.”
His friend rolled his eyes. “No, you don’t. You’re an adult. She’s an adult. It’s not like you have to—”
Jason clutched at his shirt just over his heart.
“I can’t because right here. This hurts.
Every single day I can’t be there for her in the way I need to be.
It feels like I can’t breathe. It’s torture.
Maybe you’ve forgotten what it was like to care for someone so deeply and not have it returned because you’re going to be married soon.
But I can’t do this anymore.” His words were said in an anguished whisper so no one would be able to overhear.
“Jason, a word?”
Jason startled and spun to find Mateo and his wife Nikki standing a few feet away.
Shoot! If they’d heard any part of that conversation, there was no telling what they’d want to say to him now.
Jason gave Mark a warning look, then turned and headed toward his boss.
“I was just about to head out.” He forced a smile, but even that seemed to cause him pain.
Nikki glanced at her husband, then stepped forward before Mateo got a chance to speak. “I’ve invested in a small café on the other side of town.”
Jason’s brows lifted. “That sounds like a lot of work. You’re going to be spread pretty thin.” It didn’t really make sense, seeing as Nikki loved working at the ranch so much. “But I suppose congratulations are in order.”
She shook her head. “While we purchased the building and we’ll be overseeing the business side of things, I will not be heading up the food services aspect of it.”
Confusion swirled within Jason, and his eyes flicked to Mateo before dragging back to Nikki.
The woman reached out to him and took both of his hands in her own.
“I was actually planning on bringing it up weeks ago, but then you gave your notice, and I wasn’t sure what your plans were.
We need someone to be on site daily who knows what they’re doing.
But all our interviews aren’t exactly going the way we’d hoped.
Admittedly, I keep coming back to the same conclusion.
There is only one person who would fit the job perfectly. ”
His heart swelled and his throat closed up. He already knew where she was going with this, and he couldn’t say it was half bad.
“Would you be interested in managing the café for us? It would require more than just baking. You’d oversee the employees and training. We’d expect you to learn some of the bookkeeping as well so we can keep track of things.”
Jason glanced from Nikki to Mateo once more. There was only one answer he could give them.