It Pains Me (Betrayal #5)

14. Theo

14

THEO

I opened the drawer to my nightstand and pulled out the wad of cash before I tossed it on the bed.

Andrea lay there, her beautiful skin shiny from the sweat, her head propped on her palm as she watched me. “It’s on the house, Theo.”

I left the money there. “I said I don’t want your pity.”

“Oh, it’s not pity.” She smiled up at me.

I turned away and headed to the bathroom. “Show yourself out.” I walked into the bathroom and took a quick shower to clean my dick and wash away the sweat that clung to my skin like lotion. I did a quick towel-dry before I returned to the bedroom, expecting to see her gone, but she sat at the edge of the bed, the money still where I’d tossed it. “Why are you still here?”

“I wanted to talk.”

My eyes narrowed. “I pay so I don’t have to talk.”

“I’m not accepting your money, so there’s no agreement.”

I stared at her for a few more seconds, irritated that I was being ambushed like this. “Guess I won’t be calling you again.” I walked to my dresser and put on a fresh pair of boxers before I ran my fingers through my damp hair. When I came back to the bed, I expected her to be in the process of gathering her shit and leaving, but she just stayed there. “What the fuck do you want?”

“I just want to talk?—”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Theo—”

“Leave, or I’ll throw you out on your ass.” I stood and waited for her to hop off the bed.

But she sat there, calling my bluff.

I drew in a slow breath, desperate for a stiff drink and a cigar. “What is it, Andrea?”

“I’m not charging you because I want to do it for free.”

In the years past, that wasn’t the case. She charged me the full price, every time. “What’s changed?”

“Well, I always assumed you were emotionally unavailable, but then you were in a relationship.”

“It wasn’t a relationship.”

“If you weren’t sleeping with anyone else, it was a relationship, Theo.”

My eyes flicked back and forth between hers. “And you think that means I’m looking for a new woman? That relationship was a fucking dumpster fire. I have no desire to get into another, not now and not ever. So if you think cutting me a deal is going to change my mind, you’re wasting your time. Take your hard-earned cash and get the fuck out.” I walked around the bed and sat on the edge.

She finally got up and got dressed, taking her sweet time like she had nowhere to go. “Theo?”

I didn’t look at her.

She came around the bed and stopped in front of me, a petite woman who could handle any request that was made. I’d tied her up and taped her mouth shut. I’d spanked her with my belt. I’d shoved my big dick in her ass, and she did a marvelous job pretending to like it. “I make good money doing what I do. I have a beautiful apartment. A nice car. A ton of savings in the bank. But I like you, Theo. I would give it up for a shot to be with you.”

And just like that, I lost my favorite whore. She burdened the arrangement with expectation and desire. She made it emotional and complicated. I wanted to fuck, hand over the cash, and wash my hands clean. But now, there was talking and bullshit. I was so tired of bullshit. “I’m not looking for a woman right now, Andrea.”

Her eyes flashed in disappointment.

“I doubt I’ll ever be in the market for one.”

“We could go to dinner and?—”

“No.” I wanted her to leave. I wanted these requests to stop. I wanted her to take the money and leave me the fuck alone.

“Is it because I’m a whore?”

“No.” I didn’t care how a woman earned her living. Whether she stole from the rich or fucked the rich. “It’s because I feel nothing for you.”

It took weeks for my anger toward Astrid to wane.

I sat in the bar alone, drinking at a table and ignoring the stares I received from both men and women. I usually stayed at home when I was off the clock, but the silence had become suffocating. I’d asked Axel to join me, but he said they had plans with one of Scarlett’s friends who also had a couple kids. A playdate, basically.

I had the loyalty and respect of my men, but I considered none of them friends. A man like me couldn’t have friends and do my job well. There needed to be distant authority. A line that no one could cross. It made me a good leader, but it was lonely as fuck.

I replayed my conversation with Astrid over and over. The way she’d interrupted my life to tell me I was next in the queue. Like I should be fucking grateful that it was my turn. She expected me to click my heels together and jump around like a goddamn clown.

But once the storm of anger passed, I was left with nothing but shame and regret.

She’d cried in front of me, and I basically told her to fuck off. She darted into the bathroom to clean up, and I just left. Left because I was afraid of what I might say to her next.

I felt bad about it now.

I wondered how she was. If she’d moved out and found her own place. If she’d decided to stay with Bolton anyway.

Wherever she was, I hoped she was happy.

Because I certainly wasn’t.