Chapter 23
Chapter
Twenty-Three
TIA
I know I should end this thing with Luke before it goes any further. Nothing has changed with our situation since I kissed him. I’m still lying to him about my identity, and I still can’t come clean yet about who I really am. The thing is, I don’t want to end things between us. I want Luke so much physically and I know I’m definitely falling for him in more ways than just that way. Every time we kiss or fuck or even just hold each other, I can feel myself getting a little bit more attached to him, and I push my doubts further to the back of my mind to be dealt with later. What else can I do? I can’t lose him, and I can’t come clean, so that’s the only option I really have left.
Yesterday at work, Luke sent for me to come to his office, and I thought for a moment I was in trouble, but he said he just wanted to see me. We kissed and he made me come with his fingers. It felt so naughty but so right at the same time and I have decided that I’m just going to focus on the feeling right part from now on. I will take each day as it comes and when I can tell Luke who I really am, then I will do it, and I will try and make him understand why I had to do this. And if he is so angry he doesn’t want us to be together anymore then at least we will have had these seven weeks together.
Today is Saturday and Luke is picking me up soon. I’m not sure where we will be going – he just said he was going to show me the sights of Chicago. I almost slipped up when he asked where I wanted to go and I said I didn’t know the city that well at all and that I wanted to see all of the major sights so he could choose one, but I quickly clarified that although I grew up in Chicago, I was mostly at school and then on the holidays, we would go off to other places. That’s pretty much what Louisa did do, and she probably doesn’t know Chicago’s sights any better than I do. He didn’t seem to think it was strange so I must have covered myself well enough.
Because I have no idea where we will be going, or what we will be doing, I have dressed in jeans, sneakers, and a checky shirt. I have made a bit of an effort with my hair and makeup so I look half decent, but I have settled on comfort for my outfit in case we have lots of walking to do. I don’t want to be that high maintenance girl wobbling around in heels she can’t really walk in.
Luke texts me to let me know he’s leaving to pick me up, and I decide to go downstairs and wait for him. It’s a warm enough day and it seems silly waiting for him to come up just for us both to leave straight away. I head for the door and grab my purse and check that I have everything I need. Wallet. Check. Cell phone. Check. Tissues. Check. Lip gloss. Check. Hair brush. Check. Oh, and my birth control pills. Check. I am good to go.
I take my keys from their hook by the door and choose a red belted coat to wear. I put the coat on and leave the apartment, locking the door behind me. I go downstairs and out of the main door and stand by the curb waiting for Luke. I don’t have long to wait, and he pulls up beside me and I get into the car.
“Hi,” I say.
Luke leans over and we kiss.
“Hi,” he replies.
He pulls back away from the curb and out of my street and onto the main road.
“Ready to tell me where we’re going?” I say.
“Well, I thought Lincoln Park Zoo, then lunch, and then The Shedd Aquarium for starters? How does that sound?” Luke says.
“Good,” I reply. “Unless the aquarium treats the whales and such cruelly. I can’t go somewhere where the poor things look depressed and lifeless.”
“They don’t,” Luke says. “None of their animals are forced to perform, they eat a natural diet, and they get lots of attention from marine biologists. They have medical professionals on site and the only whales there are ones who wouldn’t be able to survive in the wild. The place doesn’t go hunting wild whales and poaching them.”
“That sounds good then,” I say. “You sound like you know a lot about the place.”
“Conservation and animal protection are big passions of mine, and I donate a lot of money to the two places we will be visiting today because they both have the right ethos I believe,” Luke says.
“That’s sweet,” I say. “I wish I could make a difference like that. I think the closest I’ll come is being able to adopt a rescue dog once I have my career sorted and have a house rather than an apartment. I know that’s not much though.”
“It might not seem much to you. To the dog you adopt, it is everything,” Luke says, and I smile. I like that way of thinking.
The drive isn’t too long, and Luke pulls into the parking lot of the Lincoln Park Zoo and finds a parking spot. We get out of the car and head towards the entrance. I’m shocked when I see the entrance fee is free.
“How come it’s free?” I ask.
“They want to educate people about animals and their plights. Charging people rules out a lot of visitors,” Luke explains.
He makes a good point, but I can’t think of a single other zoo that employs the same strategy. This one must either be owned by someone mega rich who cares about the animals they house, or they do good fund raising events or something like that. Maybe local businesses sponsor them too. They must feed the animals and pay the staff somehow and they can’t do all of that and all of the maintenance of the place without money.
We enter the zoo and hand in hand, we follow the trail painted on the ground. I can’t help but shriek with delight when we come to a huge enclosure with a pride of lions inside. They are stretched out, relaxing, sleeping, just enjoying their day. The sight is so special, and I feel my eyes filling with tears as I watch the sleeping cats. Luke sees my reaction and squeezes my hand. I squeeze back.
“They’re beautiful” I whisper, and Luke nods his head.
We move on and Luke and I chat as we go. Mostly, we talk about the animals we are seeing and the environments they are in, but we also talk a little bit about other things too. I feel like I’m really getting to know Luke and I hate that I have to be so vague in anything I tell him about myself or my family because he thinks I’m Louisa and that her family is my family. I can’t tell him about how my mom worked her ass off to make sure I had everything I needed, or how we used to sit up late throughout December making Christmas decorations from colored cardboard and glitter because we couldn’t afford to buy new ones. I guess I will have lots to tell him once my internship is over. Assuming he still wants to know me.
I stop myself from going down that path again and turn my focus instead to the animals again. We see all kinds of things: otters, flamingos, different kinds of birds and ducks, different kinds of monkeys, reptiles and insects. We see so much that I feel like I will never remember them all, but I love every minute of the trip, and I’m a little bit sad when it is over. I feel like I could happily spend weeks in here. I can come back whenever I want to though now that I know the place exists and it’s not even like it will take a chunk of my salary to visit.
We decide to have our lunch in the little café within the zoo’s grounds and at least give something back that way. We both order grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup, and I choose a can of orange soda and Luke chooses a can of grape soda. When our meals arrive, the soup is thick and tangy and the cheese is melty and stretchy, and I thoroughly enjoy my lunch.
“For something so simple, that was really good,” Luke says.
“It was delicious,” I agree.
“Would you like anything else?” Luke asks me.
“No thanks,” I say.
Truthfully, the cakes and pastries look amazing, and I would love to try one, but we have the aquarium next, and I feel like if eat any more, I won’t want to keep walking around. Luke goes and pays the bill, and we leave the café and then the zoo itself and go back to Luke’s car. We get in and he drives to the aquarium. It’s only a twenty minute drive and we are there. We get out of the car again and go to the entrance. This attraction isn’t free, and I reach for my wallet.
“I’ll pay for our tickets,” I say.
“You’ll do no such thing,” Luke says.
“But …” I start.
Luke cuts me off before I get any further.
“I don’t think you’re a gold digger or any of that shit,” he says. “I invited you here and I will be paying for it.”
“But you got our lunch,” I point out.
“And I’ll be getting dinner too. And paying for whatever we do this evening,” he says. “So, let’s not make a scene.”
I know when I’m beat, and I shrug one shoulder and Luke grins knowing he’s won this time. He has won today, but I’ll get him back another day. I now know I have to be more sneaky about it that’s all.
Luke pays for our tickets, and we go inside. It’s dark, although not so dark that we can’t see to walk, the only light coming from dim blue bulbs that make it feel almost like we are under the sea ourselves. The air is filled with the sound of gushing water, little splashes, and children laughing and exclaiming at the sights. It is all under scored by the quiet hum of conversation.
We walk to the first tank, and I stand and peer inside. It’s large and in the center is a red coral reef. All around it, fish of all colors and shapes and sizes swim around. Luke names a few of them for me and tells me a little bit about them. Watching the fish swim around is so relaxing and I could stand here all day, but I’m conscious that there are people behind us waiting to see the exhibition and that there is now a big gap in front of us where the people before us have moved on a while ago.
We move slowly to the next exhibition and while we are looking into the tank, Luke speaks up.
“About me wanting to pay for things,” he says. “This is terribly vulgar to discuss, and it will make me sound like a massive dick, but it needs to be said. I grew up, not poor exactly, but not well off either. I know how hard it can be to juggle finances and try to afford days out as well as essentials. Now, I’m the CEO of a billion-dollar company and money is easy come, easy go to me. I know you’re not in a position to throw money away if you are truly living on an intern’s wage, and I really like you. I want to spoil you. Please let me do that.”
I don’t know what to say to that. It’s a side to Luke I haven’t considered, the side where he grew up pretty much like I did with essentials like food and clothes covered but treats and days out weren’t common place.
“I currently earn more a day than you do in a month,” Luke says.
Finally, I find myself nodding my agreement – if he earns that kind of money, I can live with him paying for me when we go places - and I look at Luke’s reflection in the glass tank and see he is looking at mine.
“OK,” I finally say.
He squeezes my hand, and we move on to the next tank.
“Dick mode deactivated,” he says quietly as we walk, and I laugh and any remaining awkwardness from that conversation floats away on my laughter.
We look into the next few tanks and then we find ourselves outside and I can’t help but squeal with joy as Luke leads me through a small, manned gate, and into what turns out to be the penguin enclosure. There is a walkway and lots of white marble flooring that I assume mimics ice, and there is a huge pool for them that goes beneath the walkways and, Luke tells me, a long way down.
Penguins waddle around doing their thing and they are the most adorable little things. They don’t seem to fear humans although we are warned not to pet them or attempt to pick them up. We watch them for a few minutes and then the staff ushers us forward and out through another gate and we walk through a tunnel where we can see beneath the water and watch the penguins swim. They are much more graceful in the water than they are on land.
After the penguins, we go and watch the seals being fed. I can definitely see why people call seals sea dogs with their big, sad eyes and their cute little snouts. They eat the fishes thrown to them and then they frolic in the water and play. One of the staff does a talk about the seals, about where each one came from and why they are here, and I see what Luke meant. None of the seals here would survive in the wild and they are well cared for here, and letting people visit and see them not only supports their care financially; it also raises awareness of these beautiful creatures and some of the challenges they are facing as a species.
Next, we see sea otters and sea lions.
“Do they have a sea lion show?” I ask as we walk.
Luke shakes his head.
“No. There’s no dolphin or whale shows either. If we time it right, we will see them being fed and we can listen to talks about them, but they stopped doing the shows,” he says.
“Good,” I reply.
As much as I wouldn’t have been able to resist going to watch the shows, at the same time, it doesn’t seem right to take any of these majestic creatures and have them perform for human entertainment. The dolphins are the next exhibit for us to look at and as they play and swim around, I find myself tearing up just from their sheer beauty. It’s like watching small children play the way they are so energetic and innocent, and they do seem to like to show off to the people watching them, but this is so much nicer than an organized show, because it is the dolphins themselves choosing to do this.
After the dolphin enclosure, we go back inside and come to the largest exhibition yet. There are lots of creatures in the tank, but the main attraction is the pod of beluga whales that swim around in there. Again, I can feel myself tearing up just from looking at them. Luke tells me a bit about this particular pod and where they all came from. Five of the six where rescues that were found injured and were deemed unfit for rehabilitation back into the wild. They would have died without the aquarium taking over their care. The fifth one was born in the aquarium and although there was talk of releasing her, the mother’s feelings were taken into account, and it was decided it would be too depressing for her to lose her baby and so she stayed. Having never known anything different, there is no reason to suspect she isn’t completely happy, especially now that they are just left alone to live and not put through training and performances. She is with her family, and she is safe, and I think there isn’t much more than that to a happy life.
We look at the whales for a long time, and then we head towards the last part of the aquarium, which is a long walk through a clear tunnel with the shark tank above and around it. There are several varieties of sharks and lots of other creatures in the huge tank, and walking through the tunnel, which is again bathed in a soft blue light, it really feels like I’m in the tank with them. It’s an amazing experience and I’m trying to look in every direction at once to not miss anything.
I am a little bit sad when we come to the end of the tunnel because I was enjoying it so much, and when I look at my watch, I’m shocked to see that almost four hours have passed since we came here. Luke sees my expression and laughs.
“It doesn’t feel like we’ve been here for that long at all does it?” he says, and I shake my head. I guess it wasn’t just the sharks I enjoyed more than I realized.
We have finished the tour of the place though, and we leave and head back to Luke’s car.
“I was thinking we could go to Navy Pier after the aquarium, but now I’m thinking that might be a bit much all in one day. The city has so much to see and do and I want to show you it all,” he says. “But I want you to enjoy it and take it in, not just rush through it all.”
“Well, we’ve got plenty of time to see it all. Show me more next weekend and the one after that and the one after that,” I say. “I don’t think I would appreciate another place properly now. I don’t want the day to be over yet though either.”
Luke purses up his lips and thinks for a moment.
“How about catching a movie? We can just sit and relax, and we don’t have to go home yet,” he says.
“That sounds like fun,” I agree, and Luke starts his car engine and drives us to a nearby cinema.
We get there and go inside and spend a few moments deciding which film we want to watch. We settle on an action movie that I think we will both like and Luke gets us tickets and some popcorn to share and a soda each. We go into the movie theatre and take our seats. We have timed our entrance well, and the movie is just starting as we sit down. The theatre isn’t very busy because it’s that weird time where the afternoon crowd has drifted off and the nighttime crowd hasn’t come out yet, so it’s nice and quiet.
We eat and drink and watch the movie and when it’s finished, we head out into the lobby and we both go to use our respective bathrooms and meet back in the lobby afterwards. We head back to Luke’s car chatting about the movie and what we liked and disliked about it and we both agree that it was a bit far-fetched, but ultimately, a fun watch. It was definitely a good choice for where we are mentally where we wanted something fun, but not something where we had to concentrate too hard to follow it. Sometimes, an easy, far-fetched watch is just what is needed, and I feel like this was one of those times.
“Are you hungry?” Luke asks once we are in the car and ready to go. I nod. “Where do you fancy for dinner?”
“I’m not dressed to go to a nice restaurant,” I say. “How about we get a pizza and eat it at my place?”
“You look perfectly fine,” Luke says. “But a pizza does sound good though. Do you have a place near you that you use?”
I nod.
“Head back towards my building and I’ll direct you from there,” I say.