It’s Only Make Believe

Chapter 29

Chapter

Twenty-Nine

TIA

I had a really good time this evening with the people from the book club. We talked about the book we’ve just finished, Blindness by Jose Saramago, and afterwards, we just chatted in general. We drank wine and ate the snacks I had prepared, and I definitely think the night was a success. I’m already looking forward to our next meeting when we will discuss our next book, The Turn of the Screw by Henry James.

The meeting went later than I thought it would and it’s now almost eleven o’clock and I’ve just finished washing the dishes and tidying up after the last guests left. I’m tired, but pleasantly so, the sort of tired you feel after a good meal or a fun time.

I’m debating between whether to shower now and have an extra fifteen minutes in bed in the morning, or whether to just crash now and shower in the morning. I’m still debating it when my intercom buzzes.

At first, I think one of the book club group members must have left something behind, but I can’t see anything that doesn’t belong, and I can’t see anyone coming back at this time of night for something left behind anyway. I smile when I realize it’s most likely Luke finished his drinks with Justin and decided to pop in. I go over to the intercom and press the talk button.

“Hi,” I say.

“Hi Tia. Can I come up?” a voice says.

It’s not Luke and it takes me a second to place the voice. Justin. He’s obviously alone because he called me Tia not Louisa. He sounds a bit tipsy, and I don’t particularly want to let him in drunk at this time of the night.

“I’m just about to go to bed,” I say.

“Please Tee, it’s important,” he says.

“Five minutes," I relent with a sigh I hope Justin doesn’t hear.

I press the button to unlock the door and when I hear it open, I release the button. I go to my apartment door and unlock it and open it. I go back to the living room to wait for Justin to appear.

I don’t have to wait long. I hear my front door close and then he’s in the living room doorway and my jaw drops when I see him. Both of his eyes are black and swollen. His nose looks slightly crooked, and blood slowly trickles from it, although judging by the front of his shirt, it was gushing out a lot faster than that when it first happened. He has a small cut above one eyebrow and his bottom lip is cut and swollen.

“What the fucking hell happened to you?” I say.

He waves my question away with the flick of one hand and then he winces at the movement.

“It doesn’t matter. I just came to see if you have any painkillers. I know I don’t have any in,” he says.

“Go and sit down at the dining table,” I say, pointing to the door to the kitchen and dining room in one. “While I go and have a look for some painkillers, gauze and steri-strips.”

Justin does as I say, and I go to the bathroom. I open my bathroom cabinet and pull out a bottle of painkillers and some gauze and a packet of steri-strips. I go to the kitchen and run the tap and fill a glass with water. I take the glass and two of the painkillers to Justin. He takes them and thanks me. While he’s swallowing the painkillers, I go back to the sink, and I fill a bowl with warm water. I go to the table and sit down beside Justin. He sees the bowl and the gauze and shakes his head.

“You don’t have to do any of that,” he says.

“Shush,” I tell him.

He tries to smile but winces instead.

I start with the cut above his eyebrow first because out of all of his injuries, it looks the least painful and the easiest to deal with. I dab it gently with wet gauze and see it’s barely more than a deep scratch when the dried blood washes away.

I go to his nose next and begin to clean all of the dried blood off his top lip and chin. He keeps sucking breath in between his teeth when presumably I hurt him, but he doesn’t moan or pull away and I try to get on with it quickly to get it over with for him.

I dab at the cut on his bottom lip next. This one is pretty deep, and I get up and get a pair of kitchen scissors. I cut the steri-strips into small strips, and I hold the wound together and stick the strips over it to keep it closed. When I’m done, Justin looks a fair bit better, but it’s still clear to see he has taken one hell of a beating.

“What happened to you?” I ask again.

He just shakes his head.

“Where was Luke when this happened?” I say, trying another tactic.

Justin just looks down at the table and refuses to look at me. It makes me wonder what state Luke is in and if Justin got him into some sort of fight and doesn’t want to have to admit it to me.

“Look I’m obviously going to find out,” I say. “If you don’t tell me, I’m going to call Luke.”

“No, don’t do that,” Justin says, looking up finally.

“Then you tell me what happened,” I say.

He’s quiet long enough that I don’t think he’s going to tell me, but then he starts to speak and I kind of wish he hadn’t told me.

“Luke did it,” he says.

I have to have misheard him, surely. Or misunderstood him. Yes, that must be it. Maybe it was Luke who got Justin into a fight. That doesn’t seem likely either, but it must be what he means.

“Did what?” I say.

“This,” he says, pointing to his face.

“What? No,” I say shaking my head. “Luke wouldn’t do that.”

He wouldn’t. Not Luke. He’s not the sort of guy to be getting drunk and fighting.

“Why would he do that?” I ask.

“Because he’s jealous. Because he knows I still want you and I think he knows deep down that you still want me too,” Justin says.

I want to believe Luke couldn’t be capable of doing such a thing to someone I consider a friend, but I have seen his jealous side once or twice myself and while he has kept it under control, maybe this time, he just saw red. If Justin said to him what he just said to me, I could see Luke being almighty fucking pissed off. But to do this?

It doesn’t make sense to me that Luke would go this far, even if Justin wound him up. But at the same time, Justin was out with Luke and clearly someone has done this to him.

“Please don’t talk like that Justin,” I say. “We’ve been over this, and we both have agreed we’re better as friends.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” he says. “I worded that badly. I just think Luke thinks that’s what’s going on.”

I’ve done nothing to make Luke think that I want anyone else but him. I know I haven’t. But I have to wonder what lies Justin has been feeding him. Nothing is going to be resolved until I speak to Luke, and as much as I want to speak to him now, I don’t want this to be a conversation we have over the phone. I want to be able to see Luke when I confront him so that I can see his expression.

“I’ll call you a cab,” I say to Justin. “And I will talk to Luke about this tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Justin says.

I go and get my cell phone from the living room and quickly call Justin a cab. I go back to the kitchen and tell him it’s on its way. He stands up.

“Thank you, Tee,” he says. “For sorting this out.”

He points to his face as he says it.

“Of course,” I say. “I would tell you to go to the hospital with your nose, but I know you won’t.”

“I’ll be ok,” he says.

“At least take these,” I say, holding out the bottle of painkillers to him.

He takes them and puts them in his pocket and thanks me again. He starts towards the door, and I follow him out. He opens my front door and moves into the corridor.

“I hate to say this, but I really think you should break up with Luke,” he says. “You’ve seen now what he’s capable of. What if next time he gets annoyed or jealous, it’s at you?”

“Good night, Justin,” I say, not wanting to go into that with him.

“Good night,” he says, accepting my decision to not discuss it.

He walks away and I gently close and lock the door. I turn around and lean back against it. I sigh and shake my head. I don’t know what has happened tonight, but I will get to the bottom of it, and I will decide from there what happens with Luke and me. He at least deserves a chance to explain his side of the story, and no matter how angry he happened to get, I don’t for a second believe he would hurt me.