It’s Only Make Believe

Chapter 36

Chapter

Thirty-Six

TIA

T he job offer from Luke is amazing, but his final words really burst the bubble of excitement inside of me. Not so much the part about him not trusting me based on our personal relationship – I completely get why he would feel that way right now – but the part about how he hadn’t offered me a job because we were dating, which implies he doesn’t date staff, and now he is offering me the job, which makes me think he is pretty much saying there is no hope for us.

For that reason, I want to turn the job down. To tell him that I want that door to be kept open for us, that I will do anything to make him forgive me, but the truth is, I can’t afford to do that unless I want to be homeless. Plus, it would feel like a kick in the teeth to Enrique too who has basically paid my wages for the time I’ve been here to just walk away now.

“Then I accept the offer. Thank you,” I say.

“After this conversation, there can be no mention of us dating. We will have the same relationship as any two people who work together. But first, I have to ask you one thing,” Luke says. He looks at me and I nod for him to go on. “I get why you and Louisa did what you did in some ways. And I can understand that you felt no loyalty towards me at that time. But once we started dating, why didn’t you tell me the truth then? Did you not trust me?”

“I trust you with my life,” I say, purposely using the present tense to let Luke know he might have given up on us, but my feelings for him are still very much there. “I wanted to tell you so badly, but I had to push the idea away, because I knew if I did tell you, even if you took it well, I couldn’t possibly stay working here as Louisa once I told you because that would implicate you in the lie.”

“And I’m not Louisa. I’m not a trust fund kid. I don’t know my father and my mom died while I was at college, so I have no one to fall back on. If I left this job, I would have essentially been making myself homeless,” I say.

“Ok, I guess I understand your fear. And I want to be able to move past it, but I can’t. Never the less, I’m sorry about your mom and about your situation. I had no idea,” he says.

I smile sadly at him.

“I could never tell you. But I guess none of that matters now,” I say.

“No, I guess not,” Luke agrees.

For a moment, he looks sad, and I just want to hold him, but I know he won’t welcome my touch and so I stay where I am, and the moment passes, and Luke is all business again.

“Go and get on with your work. Tell Karl you’re late because I was making you a job offer. Make his day. I’ll call down to HR and get the ball rolling and they’ll be in touch when they have a contract put together,” he says. “And it will be in your true name, so I suggest you start telling people who you really are. Tia…?”

“Lake,” I say.

He jots it down and then he just looks at me without saying anything else and I stand up, aware that I’m being dismissed.

“Thank you,” I say again and then I stop talking, because there is so much I want to say and none of it is appropriate and I’m scared if I say so much as another word, it will all just spill out of me. I don’t want to make Luke regret giving me this chance and so I scurry from his office without a backwards glance.