Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Laura decided it was a perfect day to take the kids for a hike. The weather remained fine, casting a gentle glow upon the surroundings, while the trees and bushes transformed into a breathtaking tapestry of copper hues, painted by the enchanting touch of autumn. On the bus, she took out her phone and quickly drew up a checklist for a natural treasures scavenger hunt for the children to search for. Curious Tim would probably want to keep his collection for further study, while creative Abby might want to add a little glitter and make some kind of decoration. Maybe she could give it to her grandfather to brighten up his place.
In a great mood and with a nice afternoon with the kids before her, she reached her sister’s house.
Suzie came rushing to the front door when she heard Laura’s arrival. “How was it? Did he like your outfit? Did you spend the night together?”
Laura laughed out loud and held up her hands. As she did, her sleeves slipped down and Suzie’s eyes grew wide at the sight of the marks on Laura’s wrists .
Suzie froze and her whole demeanor changed dramatically, “Laura, what did that monster do to you?”
“Monster?” Laura was taken aback by the powerful word and the hostile expression on Suzie’s face. “James isn’t a monster. He’s a kind man who wants to take care of me.”
“Take care of you? By abusing you?”
“What?” Laura looked at her wrists and saw the red marks left by her restraints. “Oh for – this isn’t what it looks like.”
“Oh, I’ve heard that before,” Suzie said darkly. “When you were making excuses for Jake! Now you’re thinking about a relationship with a man who hurt you the first night you spent together. I can’t believe this!”
“But Suz, he didn’t hurt me.” Laura threw her hands up in frustration, her voice laced with exasperation. “I liked what he did to me last night!”
Suzie grasped Laura by her arm, shoving up her sleeve. “Didn’t hurt you? So why are there bruises on your wrists?”
Laura grimaced and said in a consoling tone, “You’ve read some of the books I gave you, didn’t you? Masters of the Shadowlands ?”
Suzie nodded and opened her mouth to speak again.
Laura held up a finger. “Please, sis, hear me out.”
With visible effort, Suzie closed her mouth, but her snapping eyes said the silence was very, very temporary.
“Everything James and I did last night –everything we will ever do– is safe, sane and consensual,” Laura began. “I like bondage. James didn’t tie me up, I let myself be tied because I like having the freedom to just feel the things he does to me! I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. And I know, with my history, that you may not trust my opinion when it comes to men, but the things Jake did to me, that doesn’t make me incapable of recognizing abuse when it happens to me.”
“No, I know that,” Suzie said with a flush. “I just… He hurt you, sis. He hurt you for years and I was too preoccupied to even notice. I never want to stand by and let you get hurt again.”
“I’m not hurt,” Laura insisted with an exasperated smile. “We’ve discussed each other’s boundaries and limits and either of us can stop everything at any moment. As an added way of being careful, I called a friend last night to let her know I was with James and if she didn’t hear from me this morning, she needed to check on me. It’s called a safety call.”
Suzie’s lips pursed at the word ‘friend,’ but to her credit, she thought about it, even if a dubious shadow remained over her features. “I don’t know this guy, James,” she said at last. “I don’t trust him or this lifestyle, and I’m not going to lie and say that I do to spare your feelings.” Her voice softened. “But I trust you. I want you to be happy, I just want you to remember that this isn’t one of your books. Even with your ‘safety buddy,’ what you did feels dangerous to me.”
“How can I help you understand?” Laura asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m even ready to want to understand. Just… please be careful, Laura.”
Laura hugged her sister. “Oh sweetie, of course I will. I don’t want to fight with you. Give it some thought, please. For me?”
Suzie returned the embrace and answered. “I hate fighting with you, too. But I also hate to see you get hurt. If you promise me to be careful, I promise to think about what I’ve read and what you’ve told me. ”
Laura beamed at her. “I’ll get the kids. I think they’ll love what I have planned for today.”
As they walked along the path, Laura thoroughly enjoyed herself. Abby wore her ‘safari outfit,’ consisting of jeans and her zoo-friends tee, her winter boots, a hot pink hat and scarf. The hat's fluffy white pompom at the top bounced up and down as the little girl skipped from one side of the path to the other, adding an extra touch of excitement to her demeanor. Tim had started out with a jacket, but gave it to Abby when she complained of being cold. Although he shivered occasionally, he never complained and as far as she could tell, he was having a good time.
Each child had a bag to fill with leaves, rocks, acorns, and anything else they found. It was fun to watch the difference between them. Abby ran from tree to tree, grabbing leaves by the handful. Tim, more fastidious, picked up a leaf, used his phone to identify it, then dug down through the mulch to find dried seed pods, the real treasure as far as he was concerned. Only a few items were in his bag at this point, but they were interesting – an old bird’s nest, several rocks, a shiny crow feather, an owl pellet, the spiny husk of a chestnut, several pinecones (but never two of the same kind) and, oddly, a bottlecap. But they still had time and plenty of daylight. Laura held her own bag and, as she followed the children, she selected her own treasures.
After their bags were filled to the brim and the three of them had had enough of walking, Laura and the kids took the bus over to her place. She turned on the oven and the children sat at the dinner table. She produced three vases and gave one to each of the children to fill. “How about we make a vase for Granddad, one for your house and one to keep here? Meanwhile I’ll put a pizza in the oven, and we can invite Mom over for dinner.”
After the enthusiastic cheers had subsided, Laura went to make the call.
Suzie came right over to the Laura’s place and admired the works of art. “How beautiful. You’ve really collected a lot, Abby. Well done!” She stroked her daughter’s hair. She went over and hugged her son from behind. “You really have an eye for detail, Tim. Look how beautifully these colors coordinate. You’ve put a lot of effort into it.”
He shifted a bit uncomfortably. “Mom, I’m eleven. I’m too big to get hugs from my mother.” But the boy leaned into his mother as he soaked up her praise.
“You’re not too big. I was still getting hugs from my mom at fifteen, and I loved them,” Laura informed him.
“But you’re a girl,” Tim interjected. “That’s different.”
“I don’t think so,” said Suzie. “I would miss it if I couldn’t hug you anymore, but if you’re really uncomfortable with it, I can stop.”
“Well, Josh said we’re going to be men soon and letting your mom hug you is gross,” Tim said uncertainly. “It’s not that I don’t like it. I don’t know.”
“So Josh thinks mom-hugs are gross?” Suzie asked, crinkling her nose. “That boy eats his own boogers.”
Tim didn’t smile.
Laura knelt next to the chair and said to Tim. “How about this? What if Mom and I don’t hug you, but if you want, you can hug us instead. ”
Tim’s face lit up. “That’s a great idea, Aunt Laura.” And he turned and hugged her so hard she lost her breath. Abby, not to be ignored, slammed into both of them and they tumbled to the floor giggling and laughing.
Suzie went to the oven as it beeped and took out the sizzling hot pizza. The sisters made eye-contact over the heads of the children and Suzie mouthed a quiet ‘Thank you’ to Laura.
Tim and Abby, armed with napkins and slices of pizza, settled on the couch to watch television. The sisters wiped the table and sat down together to eat their meal.
Suzie laid her hand on Laura’s arm. “I’ve been giving some thought to what you said. I don’t know James so I can’t say if I like him or not. I get you have good sex with him and sex with Jake was mediocre at best.”
Laura snorted.
Suzie grinned and turned serious again. “Okay, sex with Jake was bad. What I want to understand is, how you can be confident James will keep you safe and respect your limits once you’re tied down?”
Laura explained the use of safewords and how James had stopped and talked with her after she used ‘yellow’ the first time they were together. “I used ‘red’ once and he backed off immediately. That wasn’t during a scene, but at the munch where we reconnected.”
Suzie nodded her understanding. “I still think it’s risky to let yourself be tied up by a man you barely know, but I do get how hot it could be. I can imagine having a man take control in bed.” She blew out a loud breath.
“Oh yeah, that’s pretty hot, believe me.” A warm blush crept up Laura's cheeks. “But it isn’t just in bed. You see, James wants to have control in more aspects of my life. ”
Suzie frowned. “In what way?”
“Not like Jake,” Laura assured her. “He won’t control who I see or where I go, and I would never let him anyway. All he wants is for me to be safe, happy and healthy.”
“And he doesn’t trust that you can do those things for yourself?”
“I don’t always trust me either.”
Suzie recoiled in shock, blinking rapidly. “How can you even say that? You were the one who stepped up when Mom died. You were the one who held me together when Richard was ill. And without you, your office would fall apart, you know that! You are a smart, strong, extremely capable woman!”
Laura smiled ruefully. “Yes, and it’s easy to be that woman when I’m doing things for other people. When it comes to taking care of myself, it’s a different story. Think about my weight loss group. I already knew I was eating too much and I knew how to improve my diet, but for reasons I don’t understand, my health just wasn’t enough of a reason to stick to the plan. I needed the group to give me the support and the accountability of weekly weigh-ins to finally take charge of my own eating habits.”
“Okay, that makes sense to me, but how does James factor into this?”
“One of the things I’m thinking of asking him for help with is exercising. You know how hard it is for me to make time for it, even when I know I should. Left to my own devices, I’ll come up with reasons to skip it more often than not. So I’ll see James next Wednesday and discuss it with him. He'll help me work out some safe exercises and set reasonable goals.”
“Can’t your weight loss group do that, too? ”
“But James can hold me accountable in ways the group can’t. And I need that,” she insisted before Suzie could interject another sarcastic comment about spankings. “I need someone to tell me what to do, to take care of me when I just can’t be bothered to take care of myself. Not because I don’t know any better, but just because I’m tired of having to make all the decisions all the time. When I’m doing too much, I want someone to tell me to stop, not that it’s okay to stop, but just, ‘Stop.’ And if I don’t, there will be consequences.”
Suzie tipped her head back and stared at the ceiling, but then nodded. “I think you’re right. But because of that, you think you’re submissive? I mean, we all feel like that from time to time… don’t we?”
“All I know is, I feel like that all the time. And James can help. I have to experience more to know for sure, but yes, I think I’m submissive.” She took her sister’s hand and squeezed it, smiling. “But more than that, I want to be.”