Chapter 24
24
JACKSON
N ow I know who sent the anonymous pictures to my phone.
I should have known my mother would find a way to intervene in my life yet again. Champion is changing. The city council has even been discussing possibly changing the name. My mother is no longer the social grand dame she once way. Yet somehow she still seems to think she can control me.
I spent the last couple days assuring the investors that the information they’d been sent wouldn’t affect how the company was run. To my surprise, most of them saw it as a non-issue and for the few who did, I explained my youthful indiscretions and how it could be spun in the media if it ever came up. That seemed to assure them.
I hired a private investigator to visit the town where my family used to vacation to ask around about the Berkstram incident. I learned there had been someone fishing on the lake that night that neither me nor Melody had apparently noticed. He’d seen me jump into the lake and swim back with a very much alive Melody still on the boat.
Had he come forward back then, there would have been no speculation about my involvement. I wasn’t shocked to discover my mother had paid him to keep quiet. I know my mother is evil and petty but to do this just to keep me under her thumb was pure evil.
It’s time I put an end to her interference in my life. But my biggest priority is making things right with Zora.
Long after Zora has gone to bed, I remain in the living room. I find a spot on the couch and run through all the events that brought me to this moment. I finally told her how I feel, how I’ve felt since the moment I laid eyes on her now that I have, I know I’m going to lose her.
In my arrogance, I believed that once my plan fell in place, we would get to know each other better and she would forget about the agreement and stay with me on her own accord. But I’ve made one misstep after the other. The same mistakes I made all those years ago.
I tell myself I had a reason for doing what I did back then but I could have gone about things differently.
After I established my company, I could have found a way to meet up with her and apologize and talk things out like adults but instead, I’d kept tabs on her, making sure any chance she had at a long-term relationship was ruined. Even as I told myself that the men who were so easily run off my machinations didn’t deserve her if they didn’t stick around and fight to be with Zora, I still had no right to interfere.
And in the end, I hurt her in a way that disgusts me. I don’t deserve her. I never did.
I stay in the same spot well into the night with a sense of foreboding doom in my chest because I know this is the end.
At some point I must have fallen asleep because I wake up to the sun’s rays peeking through the window and beating on my face. I groan, from the soreness in my neck and shoulders.
I flinch when I see Zora torn panties by the door. Shame washes over me. I was an animal last night and there’s only one way for me to atone for what I’ve done.
I need to shower.
When I’m in the stall, I turn the water to the highest temperature my body can stand without melting my skin. I let the stinging spray of the scalding water beat down on my back as penance.
By the time I’m finished scrubbing myself clean, my skin is bright red and sore and my throat is dry. The slight stinging of my body doesn’t compare to the ache in my heart.
I go through the motions of finishing my hygiene routine and getting dress. With a heaviness in my chest that makes it difficult to breathe, I finally leave my room and head to the kitchen to get something to drink.
Zora is standing at the counter eating a piece of toast. She freezes when she sees me.
The shame from earlier returns full force and I’m at a loss for words so grab a glass from the cabinet beside her, noticing how she watches my movements warily.
I take a seat at the kitchen table and finish my glass of water before gesturing to the chair across from me. “Zora, have a seat. We need to talk.”
She narrows her gaze and continues to pointedly chew her toast.
“Please.”
Maybe she hears the defeat in my voice or the pain lurking within my heart but she slowly sits down, her gaze never leaving my face.
Zora crosses her arms across her chest and purses her lips. “What do we have to talk about Jackson. If you have an order for me, I have no choice but to obey right?”
I flinch from the hostility of her tone. But it’s no less than I deserve.
“I’m going to the municipal building this afternoon and getting the lien taken off the deed. It belongs to you and your father now. I can’t say what’s going to happen to your brother when he turns up. My business associate is willing to leave the decision of your brother’s fate up to the D.A. whenever he turns up. I’m not going to intervene one way or the other. I had no business setting him up the way I did and I take responsibility for that. He has a serious gambling addiction and I’m willing to pay for his treatment and for a decent lawyer. It’s the least I can do.”
“I’ll continue to pay any medical expenses including the home health caregiver that’s not covered by your father’s insurance.”
“What’s the catch?”
“There’s no catch. I’m freeing you from our arrangement.”
“Just like that?”
“You’re free to leave anytime you wish.”
To my surprise she bursts out laughing and I’m not sure what’s so funny because my heart is breaking. “That’s a neat trick isn’t it? You turn my world upside down and do things to me that makes me ashamed to look at myself in the mirror and now I’m free to go? You know what? Fuck you, Jackson.”
She pushes away from the table and stands.
“I can say I’m sorry because I am, but sorry isn’t adequate for what I’ve done to you.”
Zora slams her palm on the table. “You’re goddamn right it’s not enough. You still pretend you didn’t make my life hell in high school and I thought I’d moved on from it, but you came back into my life, forcing me to face all that pain all over again. And the fucked-up part is that you keep denying it ever happened. That’s so typical of former bullies.”
“I’m not denying you were bullied in high school, Zora. I’m not even going to say it wasn’t my fault. I’m not going to make excuses either. I will say I thought I was doing what I had to do to protect you.”
“Protect me? How? Did you protect me when your friend Darren Hicks sprayed soda on my brand-new shirt my father spent his hard-earned money on? Did you protect me when the girls in your clique labeled me the thrift store queen? Was it your idea of protecting me whenever I would make a friend, and you’d tell them to back off. Oh, yeah, with that kind of protection, it’s a wonder I didn’t have a complete mental break down.”
Hearing a list of things done to her tears at my spirit. If I’d had my way, I would have made sure no one bothered her but I found little ways to avenge her.
“I’m sorry for causing you pain.”
She swiftly wipes away a falling tear. “You say you’re sorry. But I just want to know why? What did I ever do to you?”
I clutch my chest because the agony in her voice touches my very soul. “You smiled at me.”
“And I was punished for that?”
I shake my head vehemently. “No. I don’t know if you remember but we met at orientation and you were wearing a yellow dress and your hair was so big it touched the sky. You were like an angel and you were so sweet. For the first time in a long time, I felt someone was being nice to me just because and not because I’m Jackson Champion. I think I started falling for you a little then. But to understand my thought process back then, you’d have to understand who my parents are.”
“My father’s family have been staples in this community since the 19 th century. So with the Champion name, comes come the burden of being great and setting yourself above others. I felt that weight from the moment I was born. My father was in his 70s when he married my mother. She was in her 20s and she worked as a receptionist at his law firm. Keep in mind, my father was already married to his third wife at the time. At the time he met my mother he was still childless and I think he wanted someone to carry on his legacy.”
“I found out he’d had a son with his first wife but the boy drowned. I think that’s why he made sure I could swim from an early age. Anyway, my mother saw and opportunity and got close with my father and became pregnant with me. Because he wanted a child, he divorced his wife and married my mother. Once she had the Champion name, she cultivated an image for herself as some grand lady even though she grew up in a trailer park.”
“My father doted on her and basically allowed her to handle all the decisions regarding me. I was supposed to be a reflection of her. I can’t remember the last time I was allowed to choose my friends. If she didn’t approve of someone I was told to have no contact with them and when I defied her there were consequences. I had a best friend named Pedro in elementary school whose parents were immigrants. She told me to stop hanging around him but I didn’t listen. She found out that Pedro’s father didn’t have the correct documents to stay in the country and contacted INS on Pedro’s family.”
Zora gasps. “That’s awful.”
“That’s not the worst things she’d done. She had my dog killed, fired staff that I got too close to, messed with my friends’ parent’s livelihoods if she didn’t approve of me getting close to them. And she would always find out who I hung around. She had spies everywhere. So when I met you, I knew she wouldn’t approve. But that first day of orientation, I spent as much time with you as possible relishing that day and knowing it would be the only chance I would get to be close to you.”
Zora furrows her brow. “I remember that. You were really cool and I never understood why you switched up on me.”
“When I found out your father owned the diner on the other side of town, I’d ride my bike there for a chance to catch a glimpse of you.”
“I…I didn’t know.”
“I tried to be discrete about it but somehow my mother found out. She asked me about you and I made up some excuse about me liking the food there. I think she knew I was lying and she just casually mentions how she has some developer friends looking to build where your father’s diner was. That was my only warning. I would have hated myself if something were to happen to you or your family. So I distanced myself from you. But all it did was fuel my obsession.”
“It drove me crazy not being able to be close to you and whenever I saw you get friendly with another guy, I snapped. I was so fucking jealous I couldn’t breathe and that’s probably where you got the idea of me isolating you from other people. I didn’t mean for you to be shunned but I clearly didn’t think things through. Some people around me interpreted my behavior as signaling that you were persona non grata. That wasn’t my intention. If you think back, I never acted that way if you were interacting with other girls. Just the guys.”
Zora plops back down in her seat. “You idiot,” she whispers. Maybe you didn’t realize how catty high school girls can be most of them started picking on me to impress you.”
“And I take responsibility for that. I couldn’t outright defend you without raising suspicion because like I said, my mother has spies everywhere. I’d get my revenge in other ways. When Darren Hicks sprayed soda on you, I got him back later in gym class. We were playing basketball, I pretended to go for a rebound and I ended up bringing my elbow down on his face. Broke his nose. And I found out that Barbie Smith was the one who started the rumor about you eating out of trash cans. I made sure the entire school found out that she was sucking the math teacher’s dick to get a passing grade.”
She grimaces. “I remember that. That teacher got fired and I think Barbie was so embarrassed she was sent to boarding school.”
“That teacher deserved to get fired and go to serve jail time.”
“I…I didn’t realize…but…that day in the cafeteria when you humiliated me in front of everyone.”
I groan at the reminder. “I saw you and my heart skipped a beat and one of guys at my table made a comment about how the dress you were wearing made your tits look even bigger. And that’s when I had my outburst. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. If anything I thought I was embarrassing myself. And for the record, I called you hobbit because you’re short and cute like a hobbit. I meant it in an affectionate way, so I apologize if that hurt you as well.”
I take a deep breath. “You are the one person in my life I looked forward to seeing and pretending to be indifferent to you back then was the hardest thing I ever had to do. You saw me as Mr. Popular but I was fucking miserable. I didn’t like any of the friends my mother chose for me, and I always ended up comparing all the girls I dated to you. I had to be someone I wasn’t so as soon as I was away from this town, I vowed to find my way back to you. But in the process of me getting what I wanted, I didn’t take your feelings into consideration. I keep fucking up over and over again and last night…I wish I could take it back. I have a problem. I’m insanely jealous where you’re concerned and I have anger issues. I’m not the man you deserve but I want to be. If there’s even a sliver of a chance you can see us together one day, I’m going to do whatever it takes to be that person.”
“But in the meantime…while I work on myself we should take this time apart.”
Tears stream down Zora’s face and I’m not sure what to make of them. I want to comfort her but I’m not sure how welcome my touch would be.
“I’m not sure what to say Jackson. This is a lot to process and I’m going to need time to think this through. I mean, I understand the trauma of how you were raised affects who you are today but it’s up to you to do work on being the kind of man you’d like to be. Don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself.”
Her noncommittal answer stings but at least it’s not a complete rejection. “Is there a chance for us, Zora?”
“I don’t know Jackson. I just don’t know.”